Kobojunkie:
1. The question you refer to has nothing to do with what the OP is here pointing out. Being the first to apologize is completely different situation from apologizing when one has not done any wrong to begin with.

2. As for your statement in bold, I don't know about that. I don't see anything wrong with apologizing first so long as one has in fact committed a wrong. Again, what is wrong here is she states she apologizes when she has done no wrong at all.

“I’m always the first to apologize after an argument”

Where did it ask whether you did something wrong or not?

I understand how difficult it can be to practice such in a place like Nigeria where depending on your social circles, “everyone” claims to be right and even acknowledging wrong can be seen as foolishness. However, I know many people who do this including managers, executives and CEOs. There are multiple articles and research that encourage people to apologize even when they’ve done nothing wrong. It’s especially good for team leaders, and relationships as well. I will not encourage anyone to stop being who they are, I’ll rather encourage them to change their environment to some place where being who they are will be appreciated more

This article is an example: https://www.google.com/amp/s/leadingwithtrust.com/2019/02/10/3-reasons-to-apologize-even-if-youve-done-nothing-wrong/amp/

socialmediaman:
“I’m always the first to apologize after an argument”

Where did it ask whether you did something wrong or not?

I understand how difficult it can be to practice such in a place like Nigeria where depending on your social circles, “everyone” claims to be right and even acknowledging wrong can be seen as foolishness. However, I know many people who do this including managers, executives and CEOs. There are multiple articles and research that encourage people to apologize even when they’ve done nothing wrong. It’s especially good for team leaders, and relationships as well. I will not encourage anyone to stop being who they are, I’ll rather encourage them to change their environment to some place where being who they are will be appreciated more

Read carefully what the OP said to you....

Lamanii22:
I always apologize first even when I'm not wrong just for peace to reign... Amongst my friends, siblings and the likes....

As I said in my last comment, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being the first to apologize when you know you are in the wrong. What is instead wrong is saying you are sorry when you know you did no wrong.

As for personality, if a behavior can be changed, then it is obviously not your personality but a sort of habit.

Kobojunkie:
Read carefully what the OP said to you....

As I said in my last comment, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being the first to apologize when you know you are in the wrong. What is instead wrong is saying you are sorry when you know you did no wrong.

Saying you’re sorry means taking responsibility, it’s not necessarily an admission of wrongdoing. I don’t know how many times it can be explained to be properly understood. It’s an exceptional quality to have as a leader, husband, wife, or friend. I see people do it all the time and I admire it. Again, many articles and research encourage it including this one: https://www.google.com/amp/s/leadingwithtrust.com/2019/02/10/3-reasons-to-apologize-even-if-youve-done-nothing-wrong/amp/

socialmediaman:

Saying you’re sorry means taking responsibility, it’s not necessarily an admission of wrongdoing. I don’t know how many times it can be explained to be properly understood. It’s an exceptional quality to have as a leader, husband, wife, or friend. I see people do it all the time and I admire it. Again, many articles and research encourage it including this one: https://www.google.com/amp/s/leadingwithtrust.com/2019/02/10/3-reasons-to-apologize-even-if-youve-done-nothing-wrong/amp/

The statement in bold should help you understand the problem then. When you take responsibility for someone else's wrong doing, you essentially deny that person that opportunity to consider and learn from the experience. It also puts on you the unnecessary load of processing the responsibility without really having all the necessary details that went into the making of the mistake to begin with. You rob the other of the opportunity to learn from that mistake and you render the opportunity meaningless since you also cannot learn much from the experience in the end.

Don't simply subscribe to any foolishness written in an article by anyone abeg. Find a better one to learn from.
Stop saying 'I'm sorry.' Research says it makes others think less of you—here's what successful people do instead

Kobojunkie:
The statement in bold should help you understand the problem then. When you take responsibility for someone else's wrong doing, you essentially deny that person that opportunity to consider and learn from the experience. It also puts on you the unnecessary load of processing the responsibility without really having all the necessary details that went into the making of the mistake to begin with. You rob the other of the opportunity to learn from that mistake and you render the opportunity meaningless since you also cannot learn much from the experience in the end.

Don't simply subscribe to any foolishness written in an article by anyone abeg. Find a better one to learn from.
Stop saying 'I'm sorry.' Research says it makes others think less of you—here's what successful people do instead

Your research link is acknowledged, however, the bolded statement is misleading and maybe a misunderstanding on your part. OP said she apologizes for peace to reign. She didn’t say she admits being in the wrong when she’s right.

When we apologize for the sake of peace, We take responsibility for the situation (like being in an argument), without admitting to wrongdoing. That’s a step towards de-escalation, keeping the communication channel open, and resolving the issue.

I’m quoting from this Forbes article about apologizing “If it’s not your fault, don’t apologize. Instead, express the fact that you’re sorry somebody feels a certain way or sorry a situation has occurred. Demonstrate empathy without taking the blame.”
https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2020/06/04/11-times-you-should-not-say-sorry-and-what-to-say-instead/?sh=55cea5ac5005

Saying you’re sorry for peace to reign is a deescalation mechanism that doesn’t mean admitting to someone else’s wrongdoing.

Lamanii22:
I always apologize first even when I'm not wrong just for peace to reign... Amongst my friends, siblings and the likes.... Now that I am married I still do it too... So I would like to know if it's a good thing or I should not apologize first sometimes....
I am not a coward or anything I just like everything and everywhere peaceful......

Do you mean that when someone does something to you, rather than wait for the person to apologize for the wrong against you, you take it on yourself to apologize instead?

If a friend slaps you, do you mean you apologize to your friend for being in the way of the slap, even when you did no wrong to deserve it(ofcourse there is absolutely no reason deserving of a slap or assault)?

If a family member intentionally says hurtful things to you,that you are reduced to tears by it, are you telling us that you would go out of your way to apologize to that person for giving them reasons to hurt you in such a way?

Can you please explain what you mean by the statement in bold so we are clear on what you mean here?

efficiencie:


It is not good. You are inadvertently destroying the meaning of the word "sorry" by apologising when you did no wrong. I don't believe all the motivational bs saying you should say sorry even when you did no wrong. You are also inadvertently patronizing bad behavior in the name of seeking peace.

Hmmmmmm "patronizing bad behaviour" how? Can you explain please....

Lamanii22:




Hmmmmmm "patronizing bad behaviour" how? Can you explain please....

Cause and effect is wired into our psyche. Mr. A does wrong, Mrs. B says sorry. Mr. A thinks his wrongdoing must be attributed to Mrs. B in a manner he is yet to understand and hence Mr.A's next wrongdoing will likely be attributed automatically to Mrs. B and this time Mr. A would demand an apology. Alternatively, Mr. A's narcissistic tendencies could kick in and he could interpret Mrs. B unmerited apology as a sign of Mrs. B obsession or weakness thus making Mrs. B a prey and not a wife. The wages of sin is not apology, it is death...when people know that dire consequences follow wrongdoing they tend to act right. It's human nature. Never apologize for peace sake when it is obvious to both you and the offender that you are clearly not wrong.

KillIgbohoN0W:
[s][/s]

If the others don't want peace, why should I?
Nobody has the monopoly of violence.

I like violence because it usually makes everyone understand their boundaries & stick to it knowing fully well what will happen if they don't.


Rubbish

Gbam same here

There is a way you can de escalate situation without saying sorry for what you didn't do..
There is a way you can acknowledge peace without destroying your self esteem..

There's nothing wrong in saying so far you have realized that you are the one in the wrong... Sorry mean humbling and acknowledging your fault and taking responsibility for it, so there is no need to say sorry when it's not your fault,

Don't obstruct Justice in your process of " de escalating the situation " .. The wrong doer must be the one to apologize!