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How Could My Brother Help Me? - Family - Nairaland

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How Could My Brother Help Me? by lifeiscomplicat: 7:04pm On Jan 23, 2022
Hello guys

I've been a member here for 10 years. I had to create another account for my story. I just have a quick question for you guys to help my life.

My brother and I struggled together because we had no one to cater for our needs as needed. Our parents were just struggling.

We're both over 30 years old now. I am older.

Now, we both struggled that he should go abroad. After trying many times, God answered our prayers and it worked for him. Having spent some years abroad, how do you guys think he could help me too? Should he let him join him abroad by all means or he should just give me money and start business here?

If I should art business here, how much do you think he could give me to suffice me?
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by Ahmed0336(m): 7:09pm On Jan 23, 2022
shocked

Many will come here saying you should japa as soon as possible.

My take, you can make it anywhere in the world.

But, it will be wiser if you have kids with dual citizenship.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by longetivity(m): 7:11pm On Jan 23, 2022
If ur brother is good he will help you, please don't rush him it's not easy and rosy like that abroad

4 Likes

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by Romanoff(f): 7:11pm On Jan 23, 2022
What skill do you have to start a business?
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by lifeiscomplicat: 7:15pm On Jan 23, 2022
Romanoff:
What skill do you have to start a business?
None. Just like buy and sell business I can learn few months.
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by lifeiscomplicat: 7:18pm On Jan 23, 2022
longetivity:
If ur brother is good he will help you, please don't rush him it's not easy and rosy like that abroad
Yes, I understand. But it seems he wanted to take possession of what he earned and wanted me to start business here with little amount which I didn't agree when we were both struggling to get visa for him then.

Is it now that business can be done in Naija? Why not then when we had nothing? But we chose to send every dime to get the visa
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by lifeiscomplicat: 7:20pm On Jan 23, 2022
Ahmed0336:
shocked

Many will come here saying you should japa as soon as possible.

My take, you can make it anywhere in the world.

But, it will be wiser if you have kids with dual citizenship.

Thanks. I understand you. I want the last option for myself. I don't want a situation whereby I'll have to ask him for anything in the future coz hell have his own family too.

This country has just taught me many lessons not to rely on when doing business without a very strong backup
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by Nobody: 7:34pm On Jan 23, 2022
Which one amongst all possible options do you have the passion, talent and potential to carry on?

Somebody can't just do anything to help you. Rather you have to be helped according to your own interests and potentials.

So decide what you want to and can do and tell him to help you with it.

1 Like

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by Romanoff(f): 7:38pm On Jan 23, 2022
lifeiscomplicat:

None. Just like buy and sell business I can learn few months.

Go and learn with people that are already into the business and are doing well so you don't make investments that will fail.

1 Like

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by lifeiscomplicat: 7:39pm On Jan 23, 2022
UnusualEmissary:
Which one amongst all possible options do you have the passion, talent and potential to carry on?

Somebody can't just do anything to help you. Rather you have to be helped according to your own interests and potentials.

So decide what you want to and can do and tell him to help you with it.

Thanks, I told him I want to join him. We tried as we did for his own but didn't work. But he seems tired after several trying to get it worked. Meanwhile, we tried more than we did for him than mine when we didn't even have any source of income to wrote home about then.

Now he seems fed up and not wanting to kill his pride To Help me in some ways which I think could make it work for me to get visa too.

I just don't want to say something things here coz he's also an old Nairalander.
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by lifeiscomplicat: 7:43pm On Jan 23, 2022
Romanoff:


Go and learn with people that are already into the business and are doing well so you don't make investments that will fail.

I told him some business ideas and he rubbish them with their disadvantages. Which business don't have its own disadvantage.

But what I know is that he doesn't want to provide huge money for those better business coz. He only wants me to do small business of like 1 to 2 mil. Which I don't want coz he'll have something to say against me later in life that he helped me but I'm not serious. That's why I want better thing, but he's not ready to provide it. But he dodged behind the disadvantages of those I picked.
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by money121(m): 7:55pm On Jan 23, 2022
Ok
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by Elianawalker(f): 8:12pm On Jan 23, 2022
If you will be going abroad do you have a plan? Don't go to America or wherever with the mind set that life is sweet there.


You can make it in nigeria depends if you are smart enough to read between the lines and see the advantages.


If you go overseas don't underestimate the hardship there...

2 Likes

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by ogashman(m): 11:54pm On Jan 23, 2022
Bro calm down...we know u made a lot of sacrifices for ur brother to move abroad but don't feel so entitled.

What do u mean by u can't do business of 1 or 2 million. Like seriously?

When people re looking for just 500k to start something for themselves, u re rejecting 2 million, calling it small.

Know that u and ur brothers destinies are different. It could be that u re not destined to make it abroad that's why it has been failing.


1or 2 million is not the last money ur brother will give to u, so stop sounding like u want him to pay u off. U might still need his assistance tomorrow... Remember the prodigal son.

For me, I did say u should start from somewhere.... Collect whatever he gives u and start ur biz with time he would still give u more money to plough into the biz

4 Likes

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by lifeiscomplicat: 6:39am On Jan 24, 2022
Elianawalker:
If you will be going abroad do you have a plan? Don't go to America or wherever with the mind set that life is sweet there.


You can make it in nigeria depends if you are smart enough to read between the lines and see the advantages.


If you go overseas don't underestimate the hardship there...
Thank you
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by lifeiscomplicat: 6:43am On Jan 24, 2022
ogashman:
Bro calm down...we know u made a lot of sacrifices for ur brother to move abroad but don't feel so entitled.

What do u mean by u can't do business of 1 or 2 million. Like seriously?

When people re looking for just 500k to start something for themselves, u re rejecting 2 million, calling it small.

Know that u and ur brothers destinies are different. It could be that u re not destined to make it abroad that's why it has been failing.


1or 2 million is not the last money ur brother will give to u, so stop sounding like u want him to pay u off. U might still need his assistance tomorrow... Remember the prodigal son.

For me, I did say u should start from somewhere.... Collect whatever he gives u and start ur biz with time he would still give u more money to plough into the biz
Thanks. I understand you perfectly, but I just don't want a situation whereby he would be fed up helping me at dome point if it didn't work out. I just want ease for him so that I can make my own money. I understand abroad might not be in my destiny, but there's an opportunity which he could use for me right now but he couldn't coz of his pride. And he already said something like : This is my money and I worked for it"
As if I asked him to split the money with me into halves.
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by greenie77: 7:07am On Jan 24, 2022
How is 2 million naira too small to start a business?

Don't forget he is also over 30 and rightly should be thinking of starting his own nuclear family, better get what is realistic from him now to avoid accusing his future wife of poisoning his mind from helping you.

3 Likes

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by Sonnobax15(m): 7:12am On Jan 24, 2022
Ahmed0336:
shocked

Many will come here saying you should japa as soon as possible.

My take, you can make it anywhere in the world.

But, it will be wiser if you have kids with dual citizenship.
. grin grin. And you ended up saying--"Japa is a bae" indirectly grin. Guy,you too get sense abeg..

1 Like

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by Amanee(f): 9:29am On Jan 24, 2022
lifeiscomplicat:

Thanks. I understand you perfectly, but I just don't want a situation whereby he would be fed up helping me at dome point if it didn't work out. I just want ease for him so that I can make my own money. I understand abroad might not be in my destiny, but there's an opportunity which he could use for me right now but he couldn't coz of his pride. And he already said something like : This is my money and I worked for it"
As if I asked him to split the money with me into halves.


You're in your 30s with no known corporate world, healthcare or IT experience (those are the kind of jobs that pay well overseas). Even trying for a study visa will still come with the challenge of keeping up with your studies. It will be better for you to find a viable business in Nigeria to build within the next 3-5 years. When you go abroad, you'll spend a lot on trying to settle down within the first one year and if you're looking for how to stop relying on your brother, that will not be a good option. Money does not grow on trees abroad.
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by ogub(m): 4:07pm On Jan 24, 2022
lifeiscomplicat:


I told him some business ideas and he rubbish them with their disadvantages. Which business don't have its own disadvantage.

But what I know is that he doesn't want to provide huge money for those better business coz. He only wants me to do small business of like 1 to 2 mil. Which I don't want coz he'll have something to say against me later in life that he helped me but I'm not serious. That's why I want better thing, but he's not ready to provide it. But he dodged behind the disadvantages of those I picked.



I think there are many business you can start with 1 or 2 million rather than wait for money for the bigger ones you can start small and grow
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by fineboynl(m): 4:39pm On Jan 24, 2022
Starting up a Business in Nigeria is just God grace and directions. I am not cutting out your smartness and foresight. But you need luck more of.

When starting a business is today Nigeria you need alot of capital. What I mean by capital is money and alot of it. Because that business idea you have thinking about alot of people are already in it and doing it by far better.

And you will need alot of capital not only to arrive at it, but also be good at it to a standard and acceptable stage to face your competitious. Although it still have it own Rick and even higher risk because of the capital you re throwing at it.

Business In Nigeria need 5 years to come out strong if it manage survive to. You might be lucky to have it earlier than that's you grace find you.

So all in all. It's not easy.

1 Like

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by 1F30M4(f): 10:23pm On Jan 24, 2022
lifeiscomplicat:

Thanks. I understand you perfectly, but I just don't want a situation whereby he would be fed up helping me at dome point if it didn't work out. I just want ease for him so that I can make my own money. I understand abroad might not be in my destiny, but there's an opportunity which he could use for me right now but he couldn't coz of his pride. And he already said something like : This is my money and I worked for it"
As if I asked him to split the money with me into halves.

Lol OP, please do away with the "buts" and I think it's rather to early to start saying "if things don't work out" or are you planning for things not to work out? No right, then think positively.

I see you only want a one-off financial support from your brother to start up something solid whereby you won't have any cause to ask him for help again. Well damn it, what if you need another help, lemme guess you may decide not to tell him orrr perhaps you'd ask, he'll either extend a helping hand or not, yhh that could happen but it's not set in stone.

Just take things the way they are, don't go building castles in the air or feeling entitled. There are people who gave their sweat, tears and blood for their beloved to be successful in life but got nothing in return, not even gratitude for all the pain and troubles, and life just goes on and on. Some people do not care for anything in the world but themselves, can't fault them, I just do my bit and keep it going. Truth is, we will always somehow need help along life's path whether we think we will or not. How much time it would take to eventually get the help we need and from who is a totally different story.

You're throwing shades like "he hasn't done for me as much as I did for him when we were struggling to get his visa, he doesn't want to kill his pride to help me, he doesn't want to provide huge money for better business", nahh bro c'monnn you're just making an issue out of nothing. That's how resentment starts building up. How are you so sure that things are going on well for him over there? The fact that he didn't ghost you and is actually offering to help you in whatever way he can shows that he acknowledges you.

I'm struggling to come to terms with what you really want. Your brother doesn't want to give you huge money to start up a better business, how about you atleast try to find a way to make things work out even with the 1-2m for a start? You'd rather go with your last option which is joining him abroad and this is without any plan for sustenance and ultimately survival? You think people go to the abroad and boooom money starts falling all around them, then their only duty will be to pick 'em all up and abracadabra everything gets sorted out just like that?! It's not all sunshine and rainbows bro, people face serious challenges over there too.

My advice is whatever you decide to do, please draw up plans, set them in motion and I'm sure you'll achieve those goals. Good luck!

2 Likes

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by lifeiscomplicat: 10:13am On Jan 25, 2022
1F30M4:


Lol OP, please do away with the "buts" and I think it's rather to early to start saying "if things don't work out" or are you planning for things not to work out? No right, then think positively.

I see you only want a one-off financial support from your brother to start up something solid whereby you won't have any cause to ask him for help again. Well damn it, what if you need another help, lemme guess you may decide not to tell him orrr perhaps you'd ask, he'll either extend a helping hand or not, yhh that could happen but it's not set in stone.

Just take things the way they are, don't go building castles in the air or feeling entitled. There are people who gave their sweat, tears and blood for their beloved to be successful in life but got nothing in return, not even gratitude for all the pain and troubles, and life just goes on and on. Some people do not care for anything in the world but themselves, can't fault them, I just do my bit and keep it going. Truth is, we will always somehow need help along life's path whether we think we will or not. How much time it would take to eventually get the help we need and from who is a totally different story.

You're throwing shades like "he hasn't done for me as much as I did for him when we were struggling to get his visa, he doesn't want to kill his pride to help me, he doesn't want to provide huge money for better business", nahh bro c'monnn you're just making an issue out of nothing. That's how resentment starts building up. How are you so sure that things are going on well for him over there? The fact that he didn't ghost you and is actually offering to help you in whatever way he can shows that he acknowledges you.

I'm struggling to come to terms with what you really want. Your brother doesn't want to give you huge money to start up a better business, how about you atleast try to find a way to make things work out even with the 1-2m for a start? You'd rather go with your last option which is joining him abroad and this is without any plan for sustenance and ultimately survival? You think people go to the abroad and boooom money starts falling all around them, then their only duty will be to pick 'em all up and abracadabra everything gets sorted out just like that?! It's not all sunshine and rainbows bro, people face serious challenges over there too.

My advice is whatever you decide to do, please draw up plans, set them in motion and I'm sure you'll achieve those goals. Good luck!

Wow, I love this. It's not like I'm feeling entitled for anything. I really know how tough it is abroad and I know how to hustle coz he already told me how things work there and what to expect in order to make it.

The thing is that this Nigeria is fuvked up in the sense of starting a business and boom, the government start their rubbish or anything negative happen which I don't pray for. I wanted to start a business the other time and get a shop. I was willing to pay for the shop but before I paid, government claimed the area in the name of road construction which they never did anything til now. Y'all know how it is in this Nigeria.

Another thing is making it in a business here in Nigeria one must do some shits in many cases and I don't want to do such. I know many friends doing business that things just go upside down one way or the other coz of this Nigeria problem.

I just want to be independent on my own and start my own family. It won't be okay asking for his help in some things when we're both married. Everybody will have his own family to take care of.

I really appreciate your contribution. Thanks very much.

1 Like

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by lifeiscomplicat: 10:19am On Jan 25, 2022
fineboynl:
Starting up a Business in Nigeria is just God grace and directions. I am not cutting out your smartness and foresight. But you need luck more of.

When starting a business is today Nigeria you need alot of capital. What I mean by capital is money and alot of it. Because that business idea you have thinking about alot of people are already in it and doing it by far better.

And you will need alot of capital not only to arrive at it, but also be good at it to a standard and acceptable stage to face your competitious. Although it still have it own Rick and even higher risk because of the capital you re throwing at it.

Business In Nigeria need 5 years to come out strong if it manage survive to. You might be lucky to have it earlier than that's you grace find you.

So all in all. It's not easy.


Exactly what I'm driving at. Business is not easy in this country without string backup. People doing one or two business have one or two backup plan to sustain their business.

Whatever I even think of doing is always around and available and people doing it better. That's why I need money to compete with them and gain customers too. What's the essence of starting a business and not even be up to this in the same line of business? That's fuvked up and waste of time.

Thanks for your contribution.
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by Spherical77(m): 6:09pm On Jan 25, 2022
Sonnobax15:
. grin grin. And you ended up saying--"Japa is a bae" indirectly grin. Guy,you too get sense abeg..
who told you having dual citizenship for your kids means to japa and go live there?

Seriously this platform is full of children wink
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by greenie77: 6:28pm On Jan 25, 2022
lifeiscomplicat:


Exactly what I'm driving at. Business is not easy in this country without string backup. People doing one or two business have one or two backup plan to sustain their business.

Whatever I even think of doing is always around and available and people doing it better. That's why I need money to compete with them and gain customers too. What's the essence of starting a business and not even be up to this in the same line of business? That's fuvked up and waste of time.

Thanks for your contribution.

From all you have written, I sense you are convinced that if your younger brother does not provide you with funds above N2 million, you are not going to do well in any business in Nigeria.

If you can not generate profit from a N1m capital, I am very certain you wouldn't from a N10m capital. You don't believe in starting with whatever is available, learn the tricks of the business then upscale....you want to start out with a BANG!

How many Nigerian business persons even have up to N1m as capital?

1 Like

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by 1F30M4(f): 1:54pm On Jan 26, 2022
lifeiscomplicat:


Wow, I love this. It's not like I'm feeling entitled for anything. I really know how tough it is abroad and I know how to hustle coz he already told me how things work there and what to expect in order to make it.

The thing is that this Nigeria is fuvked up in the sense of starting a business and boom, the government start their rubbish or anything negative happen which I don't pray for. I wanted to start a business the other time and get a shop. I was willing to pay for the shop but before I paid, government claimed the area in the name of road construction which they never did anything til now. Y'all know how it is in this Nigeria.

Another thing is making it in a business here in Nigeria one must do some shits in many cases and I don't want to do such. I know many friends doing business that things just go upside down one way or the other coz of this Nigeria problem.

I just want to be independent on my own and start my own family. It won't be okay asking for his help in some things when we're both married. Everybody will have his own family to take care of.

I really appreciate your contribution. Thanks very much.


Quite frankly, I understand that there are major challenges of doing business in Nigeria. Sorry about your experience, imagine if you had paid for the shop and one day you're set to go to the shop as usual only to meet it in ruins, your goods looted or damaged, indeed very devastating. May our efforts not be in vain. I wish you the very best in all your endeavors. You're welcome.

1 Like

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by frozen70(f): 9:14pm On Jan 28, 2022
lifeiscomplicat:
Hello guys

I've been a member here for 10 years. I had to create another account for my story. I just have a quick question for you guys to help my life.

My brother and I struggled together because we had no one to cater for our needs as needed. Our parents were just struggling.

We're both over 30 years old now. I am older.

Now, we both struggled that he should go abroad. After trying many times, God answered our prayers and it worked for him. Having spent some years abroad, how do you guys think he could help me too? Should he let him join him abroad by all means or he should just give me money and start business here?

If I should art business here, how much do you think he could give me to suffice me?

Plead and discuss with him to bring you over there

No business can start and stand well if you don't have upto 10mil

Before your family will say you are a failure for not being able to move your business forward

1 Like

Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by CanadianNaija: 5:37am On Jan 29, 2022
frozen70:


Plead and discuss with him to bring you over there

No business can start and stand well if you don't have upto 10mil

Before your family will say you are a failure for not being able to move your business forward

Read his comments. His brother has been trying to bring him and it hasn't worked. Seems like multiple times from his replies, which is probably why that one has gotten tired and wants to give him money to start business.

It's not like his brother issues visa.
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by frozen70(f): 9:07am On Jan 29, 2022
CanadianNaija:


Read his comments. His brother has been trying to bring him and it hasn't worked. Seems like multiple times from his replies, which is probably why that one has gotten tired and was to give him money to start business.

It's not like his brother issues visa.
Ohh I get it now
Re: How Could My Brother Help Me? by lifeiscomplicat: 10:12am On Feb 04, 2022
frozen70:


Plead and discuss with him to bring you over there

No business can start and stand well if you don't have upto 10mil

Before your family will say you are a failure for not being able to move your business forward

Thanks. It's not that I'm lazy o and I know how things are over there.

You just said what I'm trying to avoid. Time has already gone, what's the essence of doing something and it later collapse. They'll say, that's all you want to do all these while and collapse too.

Shit �

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