Many guys feel shy and awkward at the thought of chatting up a woman. They imagine the embarrassment of being rejected and even laughed at. Sadly this fear of rejection can hold you back from approaching women.

Accepting rejection

Once you learn to accept rejection then you will see it as just one step nearer to finding your perfect date. Chatting up women is a numbers game. The more women you chat up the more confident you'll become, and even though you'll get rejections you will also find some really hot women that will love to date you.

So how do you approach a woman you fancy in a bar, and what do you say to her? The chances are she is feeling just as nervous as you are. Breathe deeply and just go up to her. Don't hesitate as not only will you look nervous, but other guys may get in before you. There is a lot of competition in bars and nightclubs.

If you feel very unsure of yourself you could try catching her eye first. If she holds your gaze for more than a few seconds then this is a good sign. Smiling is an even better sign and you should have no worries about going up to her.

Any single woman in a bar or club may be expecting to get hit on by a guy. If she is with friends don't let this put you off. Chat to her friends as well as this will make you look relaxed and friendly.

Breaking the ice

Breaking the ice can be hard, but if you can think of something funny to say then it will be much easier. Women love a guy who is funny and will find him attractive. Keep the humour light hearted and don't whatever you do make any sexual comments. She may feel threatened by it, and you could scare her off. Read humorous books and find funny chat up lines on the internet that you could use.

For example you could say something like "Are you interested in helping homeless people?" If she says "yes", you could then say "how would you like to take me home then?" Be confident when you say this. Don't be half hearted and say it in a timid and quiet voice. Women are wary of nervous and jittery guys.

Keep it light hearted

If she likes you and conversation starts to flow, keep things light hearted. It's important to maintain eye contact and smile. Women like men who are confident, so looking away or down at your feet will make her think you're unsure and hesitant. Don't stare at her chest. You aren't talking to her breasts!

Take an interest in what she's saying. Listen and make comments. If you feel anxious just breathe deeply as this will get oxygen flowing round your body and make you feel more relaxed, it also releases endorphins which have a calming effect. Feeling nervous can make some guys ramble on about themselves, giving little chance for any woman to get a word in!

Knowing what to say

If you don't know what to say find something to comment on. Is she wearing a necklace or unusual rings? Talk about something going on around you. This will open up a conversation and you can then build on it. For example if you comment on her necklace she may say that she bought it on a holiday in Greece. You could then talk about your own holiday in the same region and then go on to talk about the delicious food and wine available there.

Once you have established some common ground you will find plenty to talk about. If it doesn't work out, don't worry as there are plenty of other women to chat up.

Women are not a strange and exotic species from another planet. We have the same feelings and anxieties as men. Learning how to chat up women takes practice just like anything else, and the more you practice the better and more confident you will become.