I advise that you ask him if he's still interested in the marriage rather than assume he wants you back under the same roof. If he says yes, request that both of you see a marriage counselor.

The marriage/family Counsellor will first uncover the reason for the toxicity in your marriage for seven years. That's too long for adjustment in marriage so there must be an underlying reason for it. It could be that some of your attitude contributed to it. If this is not resolved it would erupt again when you begin to live together.

Secondly, he may also just want to relate with you at arms length. Maybe he prefers the distance between you like this and does not want you under his roof while he provides financial support for you and the children.

You'd be surprised that it may be healthier for you to live far away from him.

Counselling would unravel all these and help you both of you to make the right decision for your marriage

adajoe555:
But it's the truth, marriage issues are becoming more common these days.. putting fears on the once who ain't married yet.

I am afraid you are wrong! They aren't more common. ... you are simply hearing more about them is all.

These stories are meant to be taken as lessons to aide who don't already know in making better decisions in their lives.

Kobojunkie:
I am afraid you are wrong! They aren't more common. ... you are simply hearing more about them is all.

These stories are meant to be taken as lessons to aide who don't already know in making better decisions in their lives.

Ok......

emotionalwoman:
Thank you for your responses.

I think it's best we remain apart because I'm at peace where I am.
I guess it's loneliness and the fear of taking care of two kids all by myself that was making me reconsider our arrangement.

I'm at peace with myself, I don't hate him but I can not forget how toxic it's been.
I really do hope we maintain being cordial, for the sake of our kids.

I honestly do love him but the truth is we are truly incompatible and love is just not enough.

Our marriage of seven years has scarred me emotionally and mentally.
I actually do not want to be entangled with anyone anymore, I just want to focus on me and my kids.
I guess because I don't talk much about it or I'm always jovial, he still doesn't understand.


Thank you all.

Hmmmm, the final decision lies with you.

Much as I'm elated to read that you want to stay put. Please remember that it's okay to second-guess yourself once in a while.



Don't be strong just for the fun of it.


Also keep in mind that beating you up while pregnant is a horrible crime that you and your family should have followed up with. At least let him get some resetting from police men.



It looks like time and hormones have healed your wounds and you have forgotten each punch that put you and your unborn baby within an inch of your delicate lives.



KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.

2goodbobo:
The very first Day you agreed to Marry Him is confirmation of your resolve to stay with Him and love Him regardless of his flaws. You said it yourself that you still love Him so there is still hope to rescue your Marriage.

He has shown remorse by displaying good deeds even without you asking for it. I believe he still loves you too but the problem i see here is lack of communication. Have a talk with him and let him know the hurt he did to you and if he shows remorse and apologise please forgive Him and move back to the House.

No marriage is perfect my dear. I do not support domestic abuse. However, forgive and pray for him so that God will touch him. Finallly, before you move back to his House, call a family meeting (Your People/His People) and let him promise not to lay his hands on you again. You too learn to briddle your tongue and control your Mouth maybe the way you talk to him could be disrespectful.

Best of luck.

This poster should be arrested for attempting to push another human into being beaten to death. Thus poster deserves to be charged for conspiracy to commit murder.

Won de ma lu e pa ni aiye e ni.