I read a post here on Nairaland, obviously by a single young man, and it got me thinking...

The post and the attendant comments following it refers: https://www.nairaland.com/6985304/experience-dating-girls-20s-30years#110203846

Today, we are faced with a phenomenon of decline in the marriage culture because (in my opinion) there is a dearth of balanced education about marriage.

This is why I've decided to highlight some points here with the hope that some people seeking understanding will grab one or two useful insights...

Whatever Valentine Day means to you, please note that the day has become popular especially among heterosexual couples (married or unmarried) as that of Love - I'm not dwelling on the definition of love but to underpin the difference(s) between marriage and dating in the context of the referenced hyperlink.

Arguably, the main difference in both concepts is RESPONSIBILITY.
It is what is basically absent in dating but present (or demanded) in marriage that makes the former 'sweeter' than the latter. For instance, the girlfriend/fiancée will happily host her lover at her place, prepare delicious meals to entertain him without demanding he pays (in cash) for the entertainment. She does it to entrench the love and persuade her man she's the best woman for him. The boyfriend/fiancé also gives her gifts out of free will - no price tags or specifications, and in return looks into her countenance to perceive gratitude and excitement!

In marriage however, this same scenario with self same actors becomes another storyline! Girlfriend/fiancée now wife, insists on husband to pay the bills... "Oga, gas don finish and 12.5kg is now 14,000 Naira"... "Our Grandma's funeral is next month and they asked me to bring 150k".... All turn the erstwhile romantic " Juliette " to a 'nagster'! Romeo begins to wonder why everything has to be how she wants it! Whatever happened to his free-will giving? This leads to the next point - COMMITMENT

While dating, the level of commitment is limited to regular calls/chats, visits, goings-out etc but as marriage sets in, this begins to change! It becomes even more pressing when Madam has given birth to kid(s), the exuberance dwindles and she expects Oga to be around like before. Oga on his part expects Madam to spend her time at home with the kid(s)... So, with this parallel expectations, the erstwhile "sweet" experience starts fermenting into 'sour'!


At the risk of having too lengthy a post, let's brainstorm on how this sweet-sour couple experience can be fixed. I do not claim I have an absolute solution, but perhaps an interactive session on this thread will enrich not just my knowledge and those of others, but hopefully address some of the concerns that usually lead to the gender bickering here on Nairaland!

So, ladies and gentlemen, shall we discuss?