Before I proceed, let me correct a wrong impression many people have about marriage today. Just because you read or hear so many negative stories or news about marriages crashing or couples having issues does not mean marriages of today are no longer worth it when compared to marriages of the past.



Believing such nonsense is shortchanging yourself. Don't let the negative stories you read or hear about couples and marriages discourage you from getting married, so many marriages, I mean millions of marriages are working and succeeding including mine. Yes you heard me so well. I want to use my own marriage to my sweet wife as an example, my brothers and sisters, my marriage is working perfectly well despite minor challenges from my side


I can boldly tell you that I have achieved more as a married man than when I was single. So remove that notion that marriage will limit your success, unless you married wrongly. If you marry right, you will excel more. When I look back at what I have achieved ever since I got married, I just wished I had married earlier, maybe I would have been competing with Aliko by now


This is for the single guys reading this

Before you start to think of settling down as a man, go on your kneels and ask God sincerely for financial stability first. This is the first thing a single man should ask from God before thinking about marriage.

Don't even go praying for a good wife first, pray for sustainable income, and while you are praying, be ready to work. Remember, you must have a handwork or a job or business or craft you are engaged in that you should be asking God to bless for you to have increase and achieve financial stability from.


Desist from all forms of illegal money making, forget your Yahoo friend making millions and driving Benz, most of them will still go broke later, focus on offering service to people, offer value and let people pay for your services, that way, you will keep growing as years rolls by. It is not good to start marriage with fraudulent money or with illegal means of income, it will make your marriage journey rough and difficult so first fix your financial life before you start thinking of getting married to any lady.


I promise you, once you have your financial life or means of sustainable income sorted out, 90% of your marriage challenges are over, the next thing is to put on your thinking cap, God gave us wisdom already, apply your wisdom when picking ladies for date or relationship the moment you know you are ready to settle down. You must quit all forms of one night stand and casual sex because that is when the devil will come in to give you the wrong person through unwanted pregnancy.



Next, have a list of the most desirable qualities you want in a would be wife, and then use it as part of your selection criteria.


Though no lady will ever tick all your boxes, but at least she should meet most of the vital qualities.



Avoid ladies with hot temper who go violent at any slightest provocation, such ladies are meant to die single until they sincerely recognize their flaw and work hard to overcome it. Don't ever believe she would change her temper or violent attitude after you wed her, it will rather get worst.



The reason you as a man must never marry a lady with hot temper or one who believes her man cannot do this or that is because every married man will faulter one day, how? Infidelity. This is a very difficult temptation for married men no matter their status, especially newly married men. Some men take years to master being faithful to their wives.



Most times, a married man don't cheat on his wife because his wife is ugly or because his wife starves him sex or because he doesn't love his wife, don't be deceived, a married man can love his wife and still cheat. A married man may even have a beautiful wife that's hotter than Kim K or Juliet Ibrahim and still goes ahead to cheat with an ugly lady. Only God that created men knows why men act like this.


So imagine if you married a violent, impatient and emotionally unstable woman, believe me, she will kill you before you repent



RCCG GO, Pastor E A. Adeboye was once a serial womanizer but look at him today. If his wife was a hot tempered woman, maybe she would have killed him before he became a changed man.



To be continued....

To The Single Ladies Reading This Thread

This very post I am about to drop was culled from my response to a thread a Nairalander created, which she asked: why do people with good heart end up having bad relationships?


My response below:

You may have a good heart as a person but may not have the most sought after qualities the opposite sex are looking for in a partner they would love to commit their heart to.


You may have a very good heart as a person but you do not have some of the below sought after qualities:

Attractive physical appearance
Not possessive
Financially independent
Good sex vibes
Smartness
etc



Having High Expectation Is a Problem

You may also have a good heart as a person but you have a high expectation from the opposite sex which makes you fall for the wrong people due to your high taste and expectations.


A good girl who believes that because she is a good girl who happens to also be a virgin is entitled to date and marry only a rich or financially buoyant, handsome guy will most likely fall for playboys who would end up using and dumping her.


As a girl, being a virgin is never a guarantee that you will marry a good, deserving husband, nope. And to the guys, marrying a lady as a virgin is never a guarantee that she will be a good wife, it is far beyond that. Her keeping her virginity till marriage is just a virtue, it only signifies that she tried to overcome peer pressure and whatnot, not that her being virgin confers her the title of a good wife. Some horrible wives you read or hear about were also married as virgins.


So being a good person is never enough quality that can guarantee you a fulfilling relationship or marriage. In this game of relationship or marriage with the opposite sex, you must apply wisdom, pray for God's favour and then hope for the best to happen according to your destiny

Attractiveness Matters

Don't let anybody deceive you, physical looks matters a lot to people. Many relationship counselors preach that physical beauty should never be the yardstick for choosing a partner, especially for men, but I am here to tell you that it matters a lot to men, including to your Pastor or Imam.




Before a man will have the drive to approach you to ask you out, something first happened in his heart, which is sex drive. A man must first find you physically appealing to him before he can even make the first move and before he can see other good qualities you have, he must first be attracted to you.


Any man that tells you that what attracted you to him is your cooking skills or your intelligence maybe lying to you so you won't judge him as a pervert if he tells you the actual truth.



What am I trying to say then? No matter what you do or your business or career, please try to take care of your looks, your femininity matters a lot to men. Don't try to be a man just because your career is kind of a male dominated career. Preserve your femininity. Be proud of your gender attributes and qualities and if you can heathily enhance them for good, please do.



If you can afford a safe and healthy plastic surgery to correct some ugly part of your body that gets you negative comments or vibes, please dont ask for anybody's approval, just do it for yourself.



Dress well. You must not dress naked to look beautiful or attractive. Sometimes skimpy dresses can make you look tacky and unkempt, so learn to dress attractive. You can learn from youtube and other platforms, just make sure you are looking sweet and feminine.



As a man too, learn to groom yourself well. Learn to keep fit. You mustn't have 8 packs to qualify as looking fit or handsome. Me I no get even 1 pack but I look as fit as Cristiano Ronaldo and it comes with less stress on my side, so you too can achieve it.



You see big tummy in men, ladies hate it but most times they won't complain but they will be admiring other men with flat tummy like us and you know that's a danger cos we can snatch your wife from you lol.



Avoid excessive alcohol intake, it contributes to bulging tummy. Avoid eating fufu, eba, nkwobi and isi ewu every night, its not a sign of big man, its unhealthy eating habit.


You can learn to avoid these bad eating habits that damage men's shape later in life right now that you are single, don't wait till you marry before you stop those bad habits

Guys Your Financial Status Matters A Lot


Dear single guys, let me tell you the saddest truth everybody have been avoiding to tell you; your financial strength matters a lot to all women, be it Nigerian or foreign women.


Except you want to marry aged women (Nigerian or foreign), who most times don't care about a guy's financial status because they have been there and only looking for companionship, and are ready to pay for it.


As a single man, the more financially buoyant you are today, the easier it will be for you to find your desired partner. This is beyond gold digging. Our world today is heavily monetized, everything today is about money. Living cost all over the world have shot up, and all these require money to take care of.


All women desire to marry a man who earns more than them. All women desire to marry a man who is more financially buoyant than them. This is how majority of women are wired until maybe in their later years as they age, their mindset begins to change. So stop seeing it as a bad thing when you hear girls fantasize marrying rich or buoyant guys, it is not a taboo. You too, you desire to marry the most beautiful girl you can get, so you see? We all want the best, so the best thing to do is to work towards becoming one of the best that the opposite sex are looking for, that way, you stand a greater chance.



The number one factor that causes problem in most marriages today is MONEY! After money comes sex (infidelity).


Money, not necessarily being rich per se, will make your marriage less dramatic.


You can delay getting married a bit and work harder towards stabilizing your income. Remember, I didn't say you should not marry until you become rich, no. Just make sure you have a sustainable means of income before you embark on marriage journey as a man.

Who Said A Good Wife Must Be a Good Cook?


Hey guys, before you go into marriage, please discard that archaic belief that being a good cook makes a woman a good wife.


What if she grew up at an orphanage home where she never had the opportunity of learning to cook, but she has other wonderful qualities of a good wife?


My wife is a great cook no doubt, but due to her career, she rarely cooks, and thank God I am not a foodie, I only eat in order not to starve. Though she cooks and packs in the freezers but that could be once in two weeks depending on her work schedule.


And unless your work or business takes most of your time, there is nothing wrong in helping your wife to cook whenever you can, so long as she doesn't take advantage of you doing that to become lazy and bossy.



A good wife today goes beyond cooking skills. There is more to being a good wife in this our time than in the past.

The first thing I cherish in a woman is her big buttocks. Her brain is not necessary

Lemme bookspace sha...

Great insight....

I promise you, once you have your financial life or means of sustainable income sorted out, 90% of your marriage challenges are over.

@ emboldened is a must priority to achieve first, not just in a relationship but life in general.

May we not be the one serving kola for our mates..

This is the most sensible write up I've seen on the internet today

Dear Ladies Your Beauty is No Longer Enough!

In as much as physical beauty plays a key role in the quality or kind of men you would meet as a single lady, I am also here to warn you that times are fast changing, physical beauty or that your feminine hotness is no longer enough to get you your desired man, I mean husband not just boyfriend.



Don't get it twisted, all men fancy beautiful women, all men do and that's the absolute truth. But when it comes to marriage, men look beyond just physical beauty.


Today, guys marry a lady just because she is a citizen of a civilized nation like The US, UK, Canada, Germany, France, Australia, Norway, Ireland, Scotland, etc, this is real today. They may neglect every other flaws and just consider this singular quality she has.


Some men want their wife to be a working class lady. Some prefer Bankers and once she ticks that box, he is good to go. Some prefer Teachers, Nurses, etc.


What this means is that men of today are now looking beyond physical beauty when choosing a wife. So as a single lady, you must find a way to be financially productive.


Don't feel that because you are beautiful and hot looking, that your desired man must come. Of course boyfriends will come in their numbers, but how many of them will be bold enough to walk you down the altar?



So no matter the situation, try as much as you can to engage in a legitimate, dignifying career or business or trade/craft that earns you income. This will boost your CV as a spinster, especially if you desire to marry a dignifying husband.

Datboredberri:






Lemme bookspace sha...

hehe, I love that thing eh, don't even go there

Omooooo

E be many things
Hoping to enter into marital institution next year or the later

Franchasng will always have a way to justify cheating in men,Hmmm hope you'll turn to Adeboye when you become of age.Good writeup, valid and important points made.

Iyaebe:
Franchasng will always have a way to justify cheating in men,Hmmm hope you'll turn to Adeboye when you become of age.Good writeup, valid and important points made.

lolz

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helinues:


@ emboldened is a must priority to achieve first, not just in a relationship but life in general.

May we not be the one serving kola for our mates..

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