Mercychen:


You're welcome.



How is my comment sounding bitter? O... Now because it's a man, you're trying to hold brief for him, right? Stop being insensitive.

What about the OPs experience with the so called husband? Is it not more bitter?
Can't you see what he's doing to her? A pregnant woman for that matter?. You people should learn to say the truth no matter how bitter.

A man who is not considerate enough to help his pregnant wife doesn't deserve any better. When he doesn't see anyone to cover his shameful acts anymore, sense will fall on him but as long as she's still there carrying his burden and financial responsibilities, he'll never get his acts together.

It's this kind of mentality you have that, any woman who speaks up against a man's incompetence is "bitter" that is making some men refuse to change and lead a more responsible life.
That "if she can't clean my mess, then shes not a wife material" kinda mentality should be erased.
You men should learn to clean up your mess yourself. Ain't no body gat time to be babysitting a grown ass man.

Buzz off!

Your first and last paragraphs can only come from a place of bitterness.

The other paragraphs in between are reasonable. I'd actually advise that too.

If a man hurt you that badly, maybe you should seek out closure. You sure ain't fine.

Gamesmart:


Please stop talking crap!

If you are using a small amount you can afford to lose to bet, it is not that bad.

If you are betting a significant amount of your income hoping to hit it big and "change your life" via gambling or lottery, you are either:

(a) sick in the head (aka addict) or (b) sick in the head (aka reetarded)

b is even worse when you justify your stuuupid actions with "there are people who have changed their lives positively through gambling".

I wonder how many of these defenders of the institution of marriage would be in support if the lady was the gambler. If she repeatedly gambled away money for the month, school fees, creche money, cooking money, money for fuel, savings etc.

I am sure They would suddenly remember all the quotes cursing gamblers.

There is a small chance that her leaving her husband will be the push he needs to quit gambling. If he is not too far gone. The man knows he has a problem and a terrible habit which will destroy every part of his life.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

divorce now now?

Please go ahead with the divorce...there are 2 addictions u don't joke with when it comes to Men....one is GAMBLING the other WOMANIZING.

GloriousGbola:


I wonder how many of these defenders of the institution of marriage would be in support if the lady was the gambler. If she repeatedly gambled away money for the month, school fees, creche money, cooking money, money for fuel, savings etc.

I am sure They would suddenly remember all the quotes cursing gamblers.

There is a small chance that her leaving her husband will be the push he needs to quit gambling. If he is not too far gone. The man knows he has a problem and a terrible habit which will destroy every part of his life.

Yes o.

He is of no use to her except he is ready to pass the power of controlling his income to her.

Double0h7:


Would you take your own advice if you were in the same predicament? Better and worse is through hardship that life throws at you and not hardship that your partner brings.

People with addictions are very hard to help, by sticking around and supporting them you will actually be enabling them.

She has to raise her child, work and bring home the money because her husband will not give her a dime, and on top of that struggle you want her to counsel, love, and respect someone who is breaking her heart and undermining her every effort??
Has marriage become a death sentence?
Is it not meant to be sweet and to be enjoyed?
People are only human beings and life is hard enough already without putting unreasonable demands on people.

Our definition of marriage differ, to me, your definition of marriage is weak, that's y,is advisable for men or women to understand what marriage entail,not sex or children,but the institution,I don't know,how you will be dating someone,and you won't know the critical aspact of his/her life and compared with your own,op should fear God, he's knows is a gambler before marriage,Y rejecting now? at times many woman caused their doom by themselves because of your believed that marriage is enjoyed/sweet,sister don't be decieve, marriage is sweet/bitter even the life will live,we are happy today and sad tomorrow, that's life itself.. That's y,I didn't consider age, families pressure,peers or competitor with others are yardstick to marriage,rather trying my best in my little way in choosing partner and face the rest that, nobody is perfect in life..I agree with your comment, but I will advise the op to think twice, because somebody is a gambler today,may be charity given tomorrow..Op face the chanllenges it will be over,if a woman left me because of my weakness,and think,I will come and begged when things settled,she should just forget me and take care of the baby by herself, because nothing I will contribute,It also op married for wrong reasons, because just four months wedding..Very painful and regretful.. Your choice,your decision, just be careful too, because future hurt like mad..You have entered it endure, Nobody is perfect in life.thanks...

Gosh what a useless man gambling. How can you be married and be gambling your future away. We need more responsible men, is this standard where we are ? All you people writing rubbish here? Did you know the addiction of gambling ? Be like like people dey ment. Awon ChildOfDoom people

HeyHey:
You can only divorce after at least 2 years- 3years, No Court will divorce you after 5months, so long as you did statutory marriage in this Nigeria

Really? So, what would they do? Is there no exception to this?

The way so many people's advice here make it look like marriage is a death trap is absurd.
You quickly forgot that this country is tough. You don't have vision, plan on how to legally make money, you and your children will suffer.

Any partner who is not willing to look far into the future with you, does not worth it.
Marriage is supposed to make you better otherwise, it's useless.
Thank you all for your contributions. I already know the right thing to do.

Naturally, I'm a peaceful, happy and loving person. But gradually, I'm becoming a bitter and a sad person all in the name of marriage. It doesn't worth it.
God knows I have tried. It's left for him to make that decision personal on his own.

loosingfaith519:
This comments is to your innocent mother, sisters, wife or girlfriend. Very useless. I know you're a Gambler. How much money have you made so far? Looking for quick money. Nonsense

tse kya

Putindbutt:

Not any serious than physical abuse. Don't push her into promiscuity.

put yourself in her shoes

Womanizing
Alcoholism
Gambling.

These are the three worst addiction u don't joke with in life of a man.

Do what is gud for you not the public.

I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

Where do I start from?

Okay, did you make any promise to God while at the altar during your marriage? Can you remember your vows?

The man doesn't beat you, he isn't a womaniser, he doesn't abuse you or pressure you unnecessarily, he loves you and obviously you know he does. His one and only flaw is that he gambles.

Is this man the first man you have dated?

You're seeking a perfect person, are you perfect yourself??

Work on your man, being a gambler isn't the worst thing a man can do and it is curable... many wives would wish this was the only problem their husbands have.

Your man is working... you guys should create a joint account and both of you must be signatories.

Good luck

Really? So, what would they do? Is there no exception to this?

They can live apart till the 3 years is complete

.

Klass99:


Mercychen, be busting my head with this entire post like kilode?

But, you see that part in bold ehn, just chop knuckle abeg. Seven blessings to you.

Nnem, the thing Taya person. Imagine, see what our men have been reduced to. Hian!

chukwuibuipob:
conFUSED pipu with their conFUSED Nollywood story.

most you takes people's challenges for a joke like it is framed up. Common grow abegi

Mercychen:
That is why they are always looking for a working class lady who can bring to the table so they can continue gambling and spending their own money recklessly. You better dump his ass.

You don't need to go through all that stress of divorcing him because that will drain you mentally and physically except you plan to remarry which is not advisable as most of them are the same. So, just secretly get a place for yourself and unborn child and leave him without warning, before you lose your sanity.

When he's ready to leave the singlehood lifestyle and become a responsible husband, he can come for his family. Otherwise, forget about him. Life is too sweet to let one person keep you in sorrow all the days of your life.

Marriage is overhypped, especially in this generation of overgrown babies in men's skin.

Modified.

I'm ashamed of all the men attacking me for saying the truth. Anyways I'm not surprised. The truth is always bitter and a hard pill to swallow.

You want her to stay with a grown up man who lacks common sense to do the right thing just so she can answer married. What the heck do you men think you are?

I blame the women that hold some of you in high esteem; making you feel like something when in fact all that is left of the male folk is nothing but a bunch of lazy leeches.

My joy is that, there are still a few, and i mean, very few men who have sense.

sister I understand where you're reasoning this matter from, I do believe me.

First of, op has made the mistake of not knowing who she was getting married to very well..... Secondly , non of us human has that total ( All good quality) we would like our partner to possess. Op I feel is just too soon to start complaining , marriage is never easy wallahi ajeh.

What I think you should do is to seat your man down and talk to him, at least exorst all option to get him to his right senses before you're considering devouse. I sincerely wish you all the best.

Divorcing him is not the option pls. Report him to his family perhaps someone you know he respects so much.
The truth is that he still see himself as a single guy who careless about other.

You know you are already pregnant & I am sorry to say this, I doubt if you ever love this guy(I am sorry if that hurt) Truth be bold, this gambling addiction is one of of his flaws & you have to tread with him softly.


Pls don't ever consider consider divorcing him since he's not abusing you or keeping extra affairs. He only need to be talk to, to wake up to his responsibility.
I pray he change & you enjoy your eternity journey with him.

Tell this to Ur father to grow up ok

fineberry:
most you takes people's challenges for a joke like it is framed up. Common grow abegi

YOUR OWN IS FINISHED GAMBLER HAS NO CURE

Are u sure is not the same Gambling that gave him money for your bride price payment....
U should have known the kind of man he is before saying I do to him
Divorce is not the problem...It only becomes a problem when after u divorce him,u start disturbing other peoples husbands....
Divorce him if you like and don't ever disturb other peoples husbands ooooh

Putindbutt:

Not any serious than physical abuse. Don't push her into promiscuity.

it's financial abuse

I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

I just discovered this post.

A lot of people here will tell you to stay, don't mind them. I have a brother who gambles and I know how crazy it can be. Your hubby won't change and will destroy himself and you together.

Oh, this post was made last year March. How is it going now?