Dear Concerned friends,

After leaving me for almost two months which I did make mention here on this platform for no just reason, my wife is back on her own will with our little kid but I cannot fathom any positive change in her character, instead she is irritable, never wants anything intimacy, disrespectful and unsubmissive and extravagant despite the harsh economy.

Prior to her coming back I asked her if she was ready to live with me in peace she said yes but all I am seeing is the opposite although I have tried to contain myself by managing the situation calmly without being reactive.

Recently, she told me her friend who stayed with us
in our house for almost two months and influenced her to leave the house last year the time she left, would be visiting again to celebrate Birthday with her, which I rejected and she insisted her friend must come.

I have been at the receiving end and been seen as a weakling but MEEKNESS IS NOT WEAKNESS, though as at now I want to take a stand henceforth and would need counsel of only experienced family men and women here on the next step to take.

Thanks for your input in advance.

If you let her friend visit again

Na ayelala I go swear for. You

22o62021:
If you let her friend visit again

Na ayelala I go swear for. You

That is sure banker I wont allow that

Brother, this is a simple matter and you don't need to stress yourself over it. Simply call her and ask if she wants a divorce from you . If she says yes, give it to her . But if she says no , then lay down the terms and conditions so you can have peace in your own home.

And incase you've forgotten , allow me remind you that she left you earlier and you survive her absence ... infact , her absence didn't really add or subtract from you. Rather, it strengthen you to be who you are today.

The only setback that may occur with this advice is the psychological damage it might have on your child, and that one will remedy itself over time

To me o,all u need to do is call a family meeting (ur parents and hers)let them talk to her,and at the end of everything let her write an undertaking to be of a very good behavior.If all this no work out broda,take ur child and throw her out.

Babsojimjim:
Dear Concerned friends,

After leaving me for almost two months which I did make mention here on this platform for no just reason, my wife is back on her own will with our little kid but I cannot fathom any positive change in her character, instead she is irritable, never wants anything intimacy, disrespectful and unsubmissive and extravagant despite the harsh economy.

Prior to her coming back I asked her if she was ready to live with me in peace she said yes but all I am seeing is the opposite although I have tried to contain myself by managing the situation calmly without being reactive.

Recently, she told me her friend who stayed with us
in our house for almost two months and influenced her to leave the house last year the time she left, would be visiting again to celebrate Birthday with her, which I rejected and she insisted her friend must come.

I have been at the receiving end and been seen as a weakling but MEEKNESS IS NOT WEAKNESS, though as at now I want to take a stand henceforth and would need counsel of only experienced family men and women here on the next step to take.

Thanks for your input in advance.

When it comes to taking rubbish... Sometimes, stand your ground and not shift your stance!!!

Are you sure the woman is the bread winner of the house? You know the answers already, act like a MAN. Don't die untimely

My brother, take your stand! It has come to that time that your yes must be yes and nay, nay.

E be like say you get wahala, always fighting over little things.

Babsojimjim:
Dear Concerned friends,

After leaving me for almost two months which I did make mention here on this platform for no just reason, my wife is back on her own will with our little kid but I cannot fathom any positive change in her character, instead she is irritable, never wants anything intimacy, disrespectful and unsubmissive and extravagant despite the harsh economy.

Prior to her coming back I asked her if she was ready to live with me in peace she said yes but all I am seeing is the opposite although I have tried to contain myself by managing the situation calmly without being reactive.

Recently, she told me her friend who stayed with us
in our house for almost two months and influenced her to leave the house last year the time she left, would be visiting again to celebrate Birthday with her, which I rejected and she insisted her friend must come.

I have been at the receiving end and been seen as a weakling but MEEKNESS IS NOT WEAKNESS, though as at now I want to take a stand henceforth and would need counsel of only experienced family men and women here on the next step to take.

Thanks for your input in advance.

Woman say her friend dey come your matrimonial home by force... I’m sorry to say but You are weak...
Plus, your wife has witchcraft( I don’t mean she flies in the night. I mean she enjoys lack of peace and wickedness)

Only plenty money can tame women like that...

Lots of people will tell you to stand your ground... with this kind of woman that likes violence, it will only lead to more fight when you counter her...

I cherish my peace of mind more than anything..so, If you don’t walk away while you still can...na hypertension go kill you...

Am following and absorbing the inputs so far, thanks concerned friends, but am an orphan with just myself and siblings, can I front for family meeting with church members? As village elders may seem happy with my predicament and take advantage of it.

Oboy man up and grow some balls. You are the man of the house and stop fooling yourself with meekness. Bible said you should be wise when your enemy come for reconcilation. She declared herself your enemy the day she left your home on her own. Did you know why she came back by herself? The worst enemy is the household enemy. If her coming back to you is a genuine, she would be remorseful and respectful. Better tell your family members in case if she poison you, investigation will start from somewhere.

It very simple .tell her to look for another event to celebrate her birthday

Well noted.

Babsojimjim:

I have been at the receiving end and been seen as a weakling but MEEKNESS IS NOT WEAKNESS, though as at now I want to take a stand henceforth and would need counsel of only experienced family men and women here on the next step to take.

Thanks for your input in advance.

I posted the response below to you back in December 18 2021, and I repost it here again so you can read to know that it still applies...

---

Babsojimjim:
1. Despite, all he has done to please his wife, called Reverend fathers and pastors to counsel them both, his wife is still indifferent to him and is threatening to quit the marriage, citing accumulated pains of the past.

2. Currently, she says she wants to go back to her parents house else she will die or commit suicide. The man called her parents, and their advise was that since she is his wife, he should decide if to allow her leave his house to come and see them (parents) or stay in his house that the decision is his as the husband.

3. At this juncture my friend is confused and dont know what to do again.Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

1. Bad move. Avoid soliciting the help of non-professional counselors when you are experiencing marital issues. Don't even bother reporting your spouse to her/his friends, parents etc., that is tantamount to shaming and not a good move when what you seek is issue resolution instead.

As for accumulated pains, it is necessary to pay attention to the fault in question if you truly desire for things to move forward. What I see you doing, Op, is trying to brush her concerns under the carpet , pretending you can move magically transport their marriage beyond the mountain that sits before. I suggest you get out of the way and let your friend face what his wife is telling him.

2. Bad move dragging her parents into this altogether. Your friend has no right to keep the woman from leaving the house whenever she wants. So if she wants to go to her parents place, allow her as it is against her rights as an individual to bar her from doing just that. Her parents have no right over her since she is an adult and no longer a ward of theirs.

3. Marriage is a contract/agreement between between man and a woman. Your friend made a mistake when he got third-parties involved in what could have been easily resolved between himself and his wife. Now, even OP dey carry their marriage marriage him head as it say im matter for there.

---

Issues of the heart do not magically go away.

Creating so many different angles to the story that don't have you owning up to the part played by you in creating the problem that is your marriage will not help you in any way find a meaningful solution, nor will it aide you as far as learning the wise lessons you are meant to in all this.

creating over 5 topics with your own wife the subject matter?

Fake ass stories for a typical NL weekend.

Some men are actually stupid

Nawao
Their should be repercussions for certain actions and as a man always let your mate know this.
How someone wakes up in the morning and decides to leave their matrimonial home for no tangible or silly reason.
She should be rest assured that I have change the lock and keys to the relationship before she will cone back

TheWolfen:
Nawao
Their should be repercussions for certain actions and as a man always let your mate know this.
How one someone wakes up in the morning and decides to leave their matrimonial home for no tangible or silly reason.
She should be rest assured that I have change the lock and keys to the relationship before she will cone back

That's far from what happened here. Take a look through the OP'S history before continuing.

I have consulted wide enough, not about creating various topics on the same issue, remember in a MULTITUDE of counsel there is safety, we cannot create another problem by solving another. I am done with counsel from nairaland, all I have gotten is enough to forge ahead to success. I AM VICTORIOUS by HIS Grace.

Thank you all for your inputs.

Babsojimjim:
Dear Concerned friends,

After leaving me for almost two months which I did make mention here on this platform for no just reason, my wife is back on her own will with our little kid but I cannot fathom any positive change in her character, instead she is irritable, never wants anything intimacy, disrespectful and unsubmissive and extravagant despite the harsh economy.

Prior to her coming back I asked her if she was ready to live with me in peace she said yes but all I am seeing is the opposite although I have tried to contain myself by managing the situation calmly without being reactive.

Recently, she told me her friend who stayed with us
in our house for almost two months and influenced her to leave the house last year the time she left, would be visiting again to celebrate Birthday with her, which I rejected and she insisted her friend must come.

I have been at the receiving end and been seen as a weakling but MEEKNESS IS NOT WEAKNESS, though as at now I want to take a stand henceforth and would need counsel of only experienced family men and women here on the next step to take.

Thanks for your input in advance.

You don't need an experienced person to tell you that you're an idiot.

Babsojimjim:
I have consulted wide enough, not about creating various topics on the same issue, remember in a MULTITUDE of counsel there is safety, we cannot create another problem by solving another. I am done with counsel from nairaland, all I have gotten is enough to forge ahead to success. I AM VICTORIOUS by HIS Grace.

Thank you all for your inputs.

The problem you are dealing with today is the very same problem you have been on since last year. Problems don't magically disappear... you have to act to resolve them.

How can you claim victory when you refuse to lower yourself and ask for forgiveness from the one who has ought against you? Did you know that Jesus Christ said that if you don't do that, God Himself will not forgive you your sins.

So no be by mouth dem dey claim victory over even marriage problems ..na by deeds!

Kobojunkie:
That's far from what happened here. Take a look through the OP'S history before continuing.

It is like you enjoy pointless argument Mr or Mrs wey u be but I don't have time for go back and forth with you.


below is op last topic where he assert to it

Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.

TheWolfen:
It is like you enjoy pointless argument Mr or Mrs wey u be but I don't have time for go back and forth with you.
below is op last topic where he assert to it

OK

:/

advanceDNA:


Woman say her friend dey come your matrimonial home by force... I’m sorry to say but You are weak...
Plus, your wife has witchcraft( I don’t mean she flies in the night. I mean she enjoys lack of peace and wickedness)

Only plenty money can tame women like that...

Lots of people will tell you to stand your ground... with this kind of woman that likes violence, it will only lead to more fight when you counter her...

I cherish my peace of mind more than anything..so, If you don’t walk away while you still can...na hypertension go kill you...

No witchcraft here, only a weak man.

Babsojimjim:
Dear Concerned friends,

After leaving me for almost two months which I did make mention here on this platform for no just reason, my wife is back on her own will with our little kid but I cannot fathom any positive change in her character, instead she is irritable, never wants anything intimacy, disrespectful and unsubmissive and extravagant despite the harsh economy.

Prior to her coming back I asked her if she was ready to live with me in peace she said yes but all I am seeing is the opposite although I have tried to contain myself by managing the situation calmly without being reactive.

Recently, she told me her friend who stayed with us
in our house for almost two months and influenced her to leave the house last year the time she left, would be visiting again to celebrate Birthday with her, which I rejected and she insisted her friend must come.

I have been at the receiving end and been seen as a weakling but MEEKNESS IS NOT WEAKNESS, though as at now I want to take a stand henceforth and would need counsel of only experienced family men and women here on the next step to take.

Thanks for your input in advance.

If she insists, get very close to her friend. Send friend romantic text messages, flirt with friend and pretend you are hiding it. She does not have to be pretty. Allow wife find out. This will be the last time that friend will step foot in your house.

Thank me later

Which advice do u want again!!!! Owner no de tire to de meek!!! Meet force with force at times!!!
Pursue her from your house before she kills you!! What are you tolerating? She doesn't need peace, so give her what she wants!!

I think you should leave the house this time for her, maybe you should change environment for like two months too.
Your mental health is very important

I won't judge until I hear I side of the story. No woman leaves her husbands house for no reason. You are not been sincere with us. Tell us the truth of what happened

TheWolfen:
Nawao
Their should be repercussions for certain actions and as a man always let your mate know this.
How someone wakes up in the morning and decides to leave their matrimonial home for no tangible or silly reason.
She should be rest assured that I have change the lock and keys to the relationship before she will cone back

Don't judge until you hear from his wife. No woman leaves her husband without some reasons.

Op the truth is that it's difficult for an adult to change. It's either you manage her like that or you do what's best for you. Hope you also tell us how you treat her too? Because, most people that report first usually hide their own bad sides. Nothing concern nairaland with your choice of a life partner.