The perceptions of domestic violence vary based on region, religion, and class. For example, the Tiv view wife beating as a “sign of love” that should be encouraged as evidenced with the statement “If you are not yet beaten by your husband then you do not know the joy of marriage and that means you are not yet married”.

All the major ethnic groups in Nigeria- Yoruba, Igbo, and Hausa- have strong patriarchial societal structures that lead to the justification of domestic violence. However, the Hausa are more supportive of domestic violence and viewing it as an inherent right of a husband.

it is believed that abusive behavior are triggered by past experiences. "Kids are precious -- they record everything,""Many abusive women/Men grew up in an abusive household, so they don't know how to verbally communicate with people, wife without putting her down. they don't know how to verbally disagree

Sexual masochism refers to engaging in or frequently fantasizing about being beaten, bound, humiliated, or otherwise made to suffer, resulting in sexual satisfaction. ... One specific type of sexual masochism is called asphyxiophilia, in which a person receives sexual satisfaction by having their breathing restricted.

this thing still dey amaze me, I go see hardship still put head? Never ooo

People need to be educated on domestic violence and how to curb the menace.

It's simplified by these words that train up a girl child with the lifestyle and they won't depart from it forever. Women who were abused got their first lovers or parents to be abusers.

especially wen e get moni....dm ready to die for on top d beating

Violence in a relationship is unacceptable.

A healthy relationship is a happy one!

The Yorubas do say that the dog that'll get lost won't hear the hunter's whistle

paulolee:
especially wen e get moni....dm ready to die for on top d beating

Then you have your answer; they are gold diggers.

Make dem beat dem!

Nothing confuses a lady than when a guy is abusive yet rich and good on bed

What else do they expect when most of them keep praying for a handsome, God-fearing and rich armed robber/ yahoo boy

bibianna:
Violence in a relationship is unacceptable.

A healthy relationship is a happy one!

Chai!! You fine ooo

No that would be silly.

Damnnnn!! LoL.... they’re the most confused set of people.

What about the verbal and emotional abuse of men by women?

Not women, but people with low self-esteem. What low self-esteem does to someone is that it makes their self worth comes from others. They have no deep substance to themselves, and are externally fuelled. Your acceptance means a lot and they will sacrifice themselves to get it.

So when she meet a man that she love, she loses herself trying to please him. She doesnt matter, its all about his acceptance. Also, women tends to be irrational and break their rules when they love someone, same rule they create for men they don't find attractive. It effectively becomes a master and surbodinate relationship.

When a woman has low self esteem and no means of livelihood she will tolerate domestic abuse. Some stay because new wife will likely abuse their kids

ednut1:
When a woman has low self esteem and no means of livelihood she will tolerate domestic abuse. Some stay because new wife will likely abuse their kids

New wife?

Bcoz they needed sum1 dat will clear deir choko

KingMack:




Chai!! You fine ooo

You fine too!

bibianna:


You fine too!

Thank you..I want to give my girlfriend to your parents then add small money to collect you! What do you think?

Violence of the threat of violent turn women on so much. That is why the modern man cannot please a woman.

They are soft feminized men. Not like our parents or grand, those were real solid men.

Oyindamolah:
New wife?

the man usually remarries na

ednut1:
the man usually remarries na

Mostly not in all cases

DaBogu:
Mostly not in all cases

i hear u

KingMack:



Thank you..I want to give my girlfriend to your parents then add small money to collect you! What do you think?

You try!

But no way.

I don't really think it's fair to suggest that the abused desires it. Such a generalization only embolden the abuser. It takes away the focus from the real culprit and spotlights the victim. In other words, it seems to avoid holding the abusive ones accountable. However, if we must focus on the abused women for conversation sake and for the sake viewing the issue from an alternative perspective, then I believe the question should be "why do women stick with abusive men?" Then the answer would be a bit more obvious. That's because I don't think women (or anyone) love men that abuse them. But then, women could stick with abusive men for a couple of reasons.

First is love. Like they say, love is blind and the thought of living without a lover could be scarier that actually living without them. Again, this doesn't mean they love abusive men, they just don't have the courage to leave. They tell themselves things like "all relationships have issues", "he will change", "my friends will mock me if I leave", "those asking me to leave probably just want to see me fail", "love is sacrifice", etc. Sad isn't it?

Second is society. In Africa, not only are women usually blamed for broken homes, they also live with the consequences while the men easily move on. You hear statements like "she couldn't even keep a home", "where is her husband?", "this one that left her husband", "she got what she deserved, gold digger", etc. Things get worse when kids are involved. Even here on NL, there's a strong campaign against marrying single mothers. And yet we turn around to ask, "why do these women stick with abusive men?". Funny, right?

Third, background. In some cultures, the women have come to believe that thier husbands have the right to hit them when they do something wrong. These women don't harbor any ill thoughts against thier men for hitting them. In fact, it's almost a sign of love/care (just like people believe that your parents hitting you is a sign of love). They grew up seeing their fathers hitting thier mothers. Such women even see other women who call police on thier husbands for hitting them as terrible wives. Now, isn't that preposterous?

Fourth, poverty/gold digging. An unmarried lady with little at stake could still decide to stick with an abusive man not because she's enjoying the abuse but for the material gains. It could be accommodation, school fees, etc. or just the idea of living a certain lifestyle. To them, it's hustling and the abuse is similar to the hardship faced by any other hustlers out there. A barrow pusher wouldn't quit his job cause of the heat out there, would he? This is even more unfortunate when the ladies could absolutely live without the goodies or have better ways of earning a living. Choices!

I deliberately left out masochism cause I don't think it's just to lump it up with the general idea of abuse. Not only would that undermine the pains of really abused people, it also just doesn't fully fit in. Masochists can roughly be compared with lovers of horror movies/games. These people don't necessarily love fear. They love fear in a controlled environment cause it gives them the chance to look it in the face while knowing everything would be alright. Likewise, masochists (especially those abused in the past) desire to come in contact with "abuse" in a controlled environment (one where there's a safe word) just to look it in the face while also knowing everything would be alright. The keywords here are "desire" and "control", things that really abused women don't have.

#SayNoToDomesticViolence

bibianna:


You try!

But no way.

Lols.. follow back!

KingMack:




Chai!! You fine ooo

bibianna

Blablamalala:


bibianna

Very funny

KingMack:

I believe this your guy!