UyaiIncomparabl:
When we tell women to consider men with money and one that understands responsibility, they don't listen. You want to become a strong, black and independent woman. Even the men will come out wailing "LIABILITY"! Na una sabi.

Like I always say, I can't be that woman. Love isn't the first thing I consider when I meet a man. The beauty of a man is his money. Others follow.

Happily a gold digger. ✌

Don't quote me. I'm not feeling fine.

They don’t want the legal wife to dig, but they would be paying rent and buying wig for undergraduate girls.

RichGal:
Hello everyone

Long post alert.

I feel like I'm burning out. I have been married to a guy I think I'm crazy in love with for 6 years plus. We got 2 kids.

I have been solely responsible for the bills, I mean every single bill. From houserent, to school fees, to car maintenance, to feeding and toiletries.

I have been very patient with my husband cos I'm not a materialistic woman. I really don't attach much value to money, it's just a tool to achieve required stuff.

Here's the issue. My husband is an unambitious person with no personal goals.
When we were dating, I always pushed him to achieve more and I felt since I was the ambitious one, I could always motivate him, so long as he was willing to be motivated.

But now, after all these years and two kids, I AM TIRED.

My ATM card is mostly with him, all he knows to do is spend, spend, spend while I work, work, work,plan,plan,plan and save, save, save.

I feel he has no understanding of responsibility and he has become so comfortable with me wearing these shoes.

I always have to push my personal needs aside and think of the family first.

Now I'm at a point where I'm just waiting for the kids to be grown and then I'll leave him. I don't even know sef. I feel emotionally neglected. I feel resentful. I feel all these things cos I can't walk out of this marriage cos of my Christian beliefs, my children, and maybe cos a part of me still loves him.

But, I feel myself growing apart from him daily. Sometimes, I feel I would have done way better if I wasn't married to him. I feel burdened.

If I could have an affair to maintain some form of mental stability I would, but I can't. I think he knows this so he feels confident that I ain't going no where but I'll shock him.

I'm just tired of taking care of everyone without being taken care of. I keep pouring out and giving

We look like the picture perfect couple. We are both very attractive, young looking and have great chemistry but that's all there is to it.

I can't even remember the last time we both had a meaningful conversation on an intellectual level cos while I'm all about self development, dude is all about whatever he is all about.

I really don't know. I'm really sad and getting to my threshold.

Can I have your attention ?

UyaiIncomparabl:
When we tell women to consider men with money and one that understands responsibility, they don't listen. You want to become a strong, black and independent woman. Even the men will come out wailing "LIABILITY"! Na una sabi.

Like I always say, I can't be that woman. Love isn't the first thing I consider when I meet a man. The beauty of a man is his money. Others follow.

Happily a gold digger. ✌

Don't quote me. I'm not feeling fine.

I no say you no well before

pocohantas:


I 200% agree with you too. Check out mentally and physically. Men’s money is for enjoyment. If you loose guard, one girl with agbalumo breast would finish it on your behalf.

If he isn’t bringing it out WILLINGLY, my dear, something is wrong. Don’t enter problem in the name of independent woman.

Independence is your ability to carry on without him, but no sane man wants his woman to carry on without him when he is right there. Men love to be FELT, except he is an efulefu or you are not his priority!

LOL @agbalumo breast.


Last paragraph is everything!

It's the girls I hope will have sense, because this men absolutely know what they're doing.

If he doesn't do stuff for you, sis, leave. He's not motivated enough to show you that he cares, to be the significant man in your life; or he's certified stingy.

Because it's not about whether or not he has money. A man who cares would always do what he can within his capacity to be felt. He'll send you the occasional 3k, and buy you 5h airtime, and take you to the spots he can afford to.

Because really, if the man who's worth 10m does 20k worth of stuff to you, there's nothing special in that.

But he who's worth 200k, and does 20k worth, is significantly making allowances for you.

That's another thing women need to understand.
**************
And truthfully, this goes both ways.

A woman who prioritises, and cares about you would spend her resources on you, too.

Only that with women, the modalities are slightly different.

kayperry:




its not a question of 100% or opinion the truth base on reality is gurlz with moderate or low demand are given higher score on men score sheet. they're the gurlz our buddies dare not talk about anyhow
Whether a gurl demands or not, a real man (as babe will say ) we alway act responsible & identify his babe needs,even sort it without her asking while a stingy man no matter the demand, if he is not willing chichi no go drop into that gurlz hand.
An independent woman as nothing to fear as far as the future is concern,the question is how do leeches survive in marriage when the atm stop dispensing

I think we're saying the same thing.

PrimadonnaO:


I think we're saying the same thing.

I almost felt the same way, buh your last words made me realise probably we are in the same book but definitely not on the same page.

"When I see a man who doesn't do that, I abort mission mentally"

as far as marriage is concern, nobody can tell for sure what they are walking into ... most men change after marriage cos we are completely relaxed buh the ongoing rosy, funky expectations women carry into marriage is why most homes are broken. as a wife men expect you to manage that was qualifies a woman as a good wife

kayperry:




I almost felt the same way, buh your last words made me realise probably we are in the same book but definitely not on the same page.

"When I see a man who doesn't do that, I abort mission mentally"

as far as marriage is concern, nobody can tell for sure what they are walking into ... most men change after marriage cos we are completely relaxed buh the ongoing rosy, funky expectations women carry into marriage is why most homes are broken. as a wife men expect you to manage that was qualifies a woman as a good wife

When a person changes from what they used to be, I won't beat myself over it.

As a matter of fact, change is inevitable. People will grow and evolve and certain things about them will change within marriage. Everyone should reasonably understand that and be prepared for such situations.

But there's an essence to people that would not easily change.

A man who has a strong sense of responsibility to his family would not wake up one day, and simply become irresponsible and stop providing for his family. No.

If he has fallen on tough times, and is unable to do certain things, that's perfectly understandable. He'd most certainly not even be comfortable about the situation. He'd be doing his best to get back up on his feet, so he can step up to his responsibilities fully once again.

But to see a man who from the get-go never showed a sense of responsibility, and I still went ahead to marry him, expecting that something about being married would change him, is to simply be joker.

PrimadonnaO:


LOL @agbalumo breast.


Last paragraph is everything!

It's the girls I hope will have sense, because this men absolutely know what they're doing.

If he doesn't do stuff for you, sis, leave. He's not motivated enough to show you that he cares, to be the significant man in your life; or he's certified stingy.

Because it's not about whether or not he has money. A man who cares would always do what he can within his capacity to be felt. He'll send you the occasional 3k, and buy you 5h airtime, and take you to the spots he can afford to.

Because really, if the man who's worth 10m does 20k worth of stuff to you, there's nothing special in that.

But he who's worth 200k, and does 20k worth, is significantly making allowances for you.

That's another thing women need to understand.
**************
And truthfully, this goes both ways.

A woman who prioritises, and cares about you would spend her resources on you, too.

Only that with women, the modalities are slightly different.

its a complex topic buh the way you explain in an easy-to-understand way depict "astuteness" and the thrill for me was how you technically filter her chaffs from your seeds most gurls here would have fell for it
i hope its not to late to say we are on the same page

UyaiIncomparabl:
When we tell women to consider men with money and one that understands responsibility, they don't listen. You want to become a strong, black and independent woman. Even the men will come out wailing "LIABILITY"! Na una sabi.

Like I always say, I can't be that woman. Love isn't the first thing I consider when I meet a man. The beauty of a man is his money. Others follow.

Happily a gold digger. ✌

Don't quote me. I'm not feeling fine.

Sorry fine gel, but I ain't giving you my quarter.

Anyway,men will still give money to the bitttchees,
Fvckkkk dem with our guts out, leave a hundred bux even if they don't want it, just make them feel like ashawo before we bounce.

eazzzy1:


I hate to refer you to a work of fiction but how many years did it take the man in Acrimony to get his App to work? Leaving one’s job to focus on his business is drive, dreams and ambition to me. If the business worked we wouldn’t be here now.

There’s no way to know the guy isn’t doing everything he can to better his situation. We humans are usually more concerned with the results than the process. A man can do everything right and everything go sideways for him. Remember Joseph’s interpretation of Pharoah’s dream? 7 years season of famine and 7 years season of boom? What if this is his season of famine? It’s not like he’s just sleeping, waking and playing video games.

I just feel it’s unfair how a woman can fall back to her man’s money if things go wrong with her, a man has to grapple with his loss of income and then have to worry about his wife’s reaction to the new situation. She makes money, why is sacrificing so difficult? Would she put up her kids for adoption because of the financial burden on her? I think if you love someone, taking care of them would be a privilege not a burden.

This guy, oil dey your head. Like you pointed out, this is an example of the picture when things go south for a man. I am willing to bet an arm that this tale is not exactly the way she is narrating it, in intensity, in pure, chronological and raw truth as it happened. I have a family that I helped run errands during my job seeking days that makes this story come so close to home:very similar scenarios.Man is a govt contractor who gets small small things once in a while. Woman even sources contracts for him from their NGO and other sources where she has influence. Man says he is more interested in business and is handling high profile partnerships with state governments which clearly will take longer than patience to materialize, but will surely do. Yes, the wife complains to me at times, but her love for him is undying. Point is, I know exactly how a virtuous woman would behave at times like this, which is not exactly an isolated case for most men in the current Nigeria. She married him a virgin and would never dream of cheating.

All I can take from this is that the position of being in a providing stance for a family is never a woman's place. Where it happens and it is an anomaly, as shown in what we are reading here: I can imagine that man coming to social media to rant if roles were reversed.

God, please help men. It's not easy o!!

CountVersailles:

See tribalistic mad woman

Are you Yoruba

poik:


This guy, oil dey your head. Like you pointed out, this is an example of the picture when things go south for a man. I am willing to bet an arm that this tale is not exactly the way she is narrating it, in intensity, in pure, chronological and raw truth as it happened. I have a family that I helped run errands during my job seeking days that makes this story come so close to home:very similar scenarios.Man is a govt contractor who gets small small things once in a while. Woman even sources contracts for him from their NGO and other sources where she has influence. Man says he is more interested in business and is handling high profile partnerships with state governments which clearly will take longer than patience to materialize, but will surely do. Yes, the wife complains to me at times, but her love for him is undying. Point is, I know exactly how a virtuous woman would behave at times like this, which is not exactly an isolated case for most men in the current Nigeria. She married him a virgin and would never dream of cheating.

All I can take from this is that the position of being in a providing stance for a family is never a woman's place. Where it happens and it is an anomaly, as shown in what we are reading here: I can imagine that man coming to social media to rant if roles were reversed.

God, please help men. It's not easy o!!

Lol na so o. Women will say I stayed with him when he had nothing, when he became rich he wanted someone else. Just mere existing in close proximity isn’t ‘staying’ with someone. This is the perfect time to prove ride or die chick but I guess she doesn’t believe he can get up anymore.

Is it not better if the man was alone? at least the only thing making him sad would be his joblessness not this current situation of being hit on double frontiers. I hope he rises again.

PrimadonnaO:


LOL @agbalumo breast.


Last paragraph is everything!

It's the girls I hope will have sense, because this men absolutely know what they're doing.

If he doesn't do stuff for you, sis, leave. He's not motivated enough to show you that he cares, to be the significant man in your life; or he's certified stingy.

Because it's not about whether or not he has money. A man who cares would always do what he can within his capacity to be felt. He'll send you the occasional 3k, and buy you 5h airtime, and take you to the spots he can afford to.

Because really, if the man who's worth 10m does 20k worth of stuff to you, there's nothing special in that.

But he who's worth 200k, and does 20k worth, is significantly making allowances for you.

That's another thing women need to understand.
**************
And truthfully, this goes both ways.

A woman who prioritises, and cares about you would spend her resources on you, too.

Only that with women, the modalities are slightly different.

The above statement, is it for a girlfriend or a wife?

First, pls forgive yourself about your decision of marrying the man. You can't turn back the hand of time now. Don't feel bad about ur past choices just look towards the future.

Be kind to yourself. Focus on your current reality. Calm down and try to find a reasonable solution to the issues raised ok..

RichGal:


Awww, I wish there was a hug emoji.

Thank you for the love.

God bless you.

Good morning RichGal, one thing I notice is you if ignore all suggestions of professional marriage counseling which Kobojunkie has been stating consistently.

Why do you not want to speak to a professional as a family and see if this can work?

If you do not get a professional involved you will keep moving in circles believe me. Marriage counseling is not for pastor's. There are professional counselor's if you need reference you can ask for.

Your relationship has issues you may need an unbiased partner to review and guide you through.

bukatyne:


Nope!

She has the experience of the primary provider + primary caregiver.

It is a disaster.

Which ever it is, she can now clearly experience what most men go through. But it’s fine, we are naturally generous to whom we love

IceColdVeins:

Which ever it is, she can now clearly experience what most men go through. But it’s fine, we are naturally generous to whom we love

Do men do the total provision and primary caregiver? That's the questiin

Men do not go through what you quoted.

sisisioge:


Your dude must be a yoruba guy! Once they see a woman capable of handling things, they let you do it. Hian! Didnt you know that "sense of responsibility" is a thing that must be checked in a guy before marrying him? Why in the world would you marry a guy comfortable with you wearing the trousers? Those guys that would not buy stuff for you while dating, pick some of your bills or simply give you money to sort things turn out to be terrible husbands when it comes to holding the material angle of the home. Money is important! Whew! It will only get worse o and by the time the kids are grown,you would have out grown your youthful years embittered with a terrible husband. Poor you.

Life is tough though, you choose your battles. It is well.

Ah you know them oh
Yoruba men will show you pepper
Even Yoruba women don't want Yoruba men unless he's Muslim , the Muslims are the nice ones but if you're a Christian it will hang because it can't lead to marriage
Yoruba men are irresponsibly and arrogantly selfish , always hunting for an independent woman , even at 19 they expect you to be independent and they still want your love , loyalty and respect

IceColdVeins:

Which ever it is, she can now clearly experience what most men go through. But it’s fine, we are naturally generous to whom we love

May you experience labour and period cramps , may you carry a child in your belly for 9 months while still moving around on swollen feets , may you breastfeed a child till you faint from exhaustion , may your breast swell up in pain as your child has no appetite , may you be up at night with no hope for rest during the day , may you carry a baby to work
May you cook , clean , bath the babies , and still go to work and come back and proceed to repeat the same process
You will experience pain in all parts of your body for 5 days a month
You shall feel your manhood contract painfully every month and when you walk you'll think your intestines want to fall out
When you use the toilet you'll think your intestines want to fall out
When you pee you'll feel pain but you're not sick so no medicine for you
You'll purge 3 days every month and you'll feel pain
In the end of everything noone will console you , rather they'll prey on you and tell you that you're not the first so endure
Even if it's just a nightmare , I pray you experience what it really feels like to be a WOMAN , if you knew you'd go and look for your mother but the sad and brutal truth is that YOU WILL NEVER KNOW

Danyyyyyyyyyyy:


May you experience labour and period cramps , may you carry a child in your belly for 9 months while still moving around on swollen feets , may you breastfeed a child till you faint from exhaustion , may your breast swell up in pain as your child has no appetite , may you be up at night with no hope for rest during the day , may you carry a baby to work
May you cook , clean , bath the babies , and still go to work and come back and proceed to repeat the same process
You will experience pain in all parts of your body for 5 days a month
You shall feel your manhood contract painfully every month and when you walk you'll think your intestines want to fall out
When you use the toilet you'll think your intestines want to fall out
When you pee you'll feel pain but you're not sick so no medicine for you
You'll purge 3 days every month and you'll feel pain
In the end of everything noone will console you , rather they'll prey on you and tell you that you're not the first so endure
Even if it's just a nightmare , I pray you experience what it really feels like to be a WOMAN , if you knew you'd go and look for your mother but the sad and brutal truth is that YOU WILL NEVER KNOW

Too many words, yet no atom of sense made

Ndi virtuous, I hope you are learning. Most lazy men in abuja are church goers. Speaking in tongues thieves. Ladies shine your eyes, no excuse for laziness. Aboki men dey sell okro, tomatoes and even pepper just to make ends meet. But my portfolio "heaven candidates" are always at newspaper vendor stand for berger junction, arguing osibanjo and buhari.

As for you poster, you can't win this war. Not in Nigeria, just assume that you are a widow. Your pastor will not help, in fact he will turn you to ATM machine. Better hide yourself from pulpit bandit. All the best.