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Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave - Romance - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave (1072 Views)

Was I Right Letting Her Off The Hook / Is It Advisable Letting Her Go? / This Is How I Made Her Leave My Life For Good. (2) (3) (4)

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Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by TheAdventurous: 6:38am On Apr 08, 2022
Good day everyone.
Am a young guy in my late twenties, and am in a very serious relationship with my girlfriend now for over 3 years. She works with my former boss in the previous company I worked, before I resigned to set up my own personal business. Prior to that Time I have started developing feelings for her, made my intentions known, and it took her close to a year for her to finally give in to my request.

We have been together for a while now and she happens to be the best of them all. Because of her loyalty, and forward thinking attitude, I made her a partner In my company.she started working for me and was really an asset, knows how to keep work and relationship life balanced and very professional. Fast-forward to 2020 during the pandemic the business suffered a lot, making it difficult for us to even feed sometimes, because have used all my funds to invest in the business, but God in his infinite ways always come through and show us mercy. We have been struggling together and she's so understanding and never gets to pressure me for anything, I feel comfortable telling her my business dealings, and transactions am working on, without having any form of resentment. She's someone I can talk to about anything and everything.
Currently she stays with me in my 2 bedroom flat, I Cater for her, and try in my own little way to provide all the necessary and essential things of Life for her. But of late, I started feeling she could do more as I don't like my woman doing nothing, I like her to also hustle, make her own money and be comfortable in her own way.

Now the challenge is that I advised her to go and join her friend in Lagos inorder to get a white collar job for now while, am busy sorting things out here,to come join her soon. Just wanted to see her reactions, well she took it very serious, as she feels she's beginning to be a liability to me, she however contacted her friend on the island and planning to leave, to also work on her own. But I kinda feel worried that am making a wrong decision by letting a good woman leave, and I also don't want to limit her potentials by keeping her down since am not yet legally married to her. We all know the future can be so uncertain, when she gets there.
Note: This is someone I intend to get married to soon. If you like insult me na you Sabi ooo, need advice from the matured minded individuals only thanks. Sorry for the long write up, and typo errors.

1 Like

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by Zonefree(m): 6:39am On Apr 08, 2022
. But I kinda feel worried that am making a wrong decision by letting a good woman leave
For the record, there's no good Nigerian woman. Don't feel worried over nothing.

11 Likes

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by endsarrrs(f): 6:39am On Apr 08, 2022
undecided

Just like that, you see the fruit of the confusion. He caught in a reality, she caught in an illusion

3 Likes

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by MadamVanessa(f): 6:40am On Apr 08, 2022
shocked



You're being confused, you really don't know what you want.

You're talking from side of your mouth. According to you, she help you alot in the new business you set up, still you said that you don't like your woman being idle as she wasn't doing anything as such you had to tell to go to Lagos and find a white collar job, and when she took your word serious as she didn't want to be a liability to you, you became worried that you're letting a good woman go.



Free her, who knows she might go and find a man that appreciate her more than you in Lagos.

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by MadamVanessa(f): 6:48am On Apr 08, 2022
Zonefree:

For the record, there's no good Nigerian woman. Don't feel worried over nothing.

shocked


If your mum has frustrated the hell out of you poor dad, that shouldn't make you come to this conclusion. Face your mum squarely.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by kunlebt(m): 6:52am On Apr 08, 2022
You take a good decision because you only worry for today not for the future.if you dont let her hustle for herself now she can be reliability to you in the future when your financial situation may not be enough anymore.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by Zonefree(m): 6:53am On Apr 08, 2022
MadamVanessa:


shocked


If your mum has frustrated the hell out of you poor dad, that shouldn't make you come to this conclusion. First your mum squarely.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by Jerewise332(m): 7:09am On Apr 08, 2022
My brother for me you’re making a good decision for yourself despite the fact that she’s good,I know is hard to let a responsible lady go but since she has nothing doing
Letting her go is the best idea while working on reconnect later..if she sees something doing and both of you meets again
She’ll realize that you were making a good decision for her that will triggers more respect for you.

Note: if she’s the one for you, you’ll certainly meet her again.
And you don’t try to play smart if she has no intention to dump you.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by yanabasee(m): 7:32am On Apr 08, 2022
Op, you're making a very big mistake....


Firstly, I noticed that you grew tired of her and probably needed a space and you came up with an excise of asking her to get something doing.... Even tho you never admitted this on your write up.


What I'd done is to be the one to go to Lagos and get established while she managed my business and then she will join me in Lagos and not the other way round.... You're sending her away for another man to put a ring on those fingers that you've delayed for 3yrs now ..

Of she's a good woman like you've described.... Believe me, she will be taken away from you. Good women are easily detected by men who knows their value and they don't keep them for years, they just marry them.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by Aaaaarghmed(m): 8:25am On Apr 08, 2022
Dont allow her go,if na small money you get,pay bride price and do small introduction. Since you have confirmed she is all you want.good ladies are just 1percent now.if she goes to lag,she is no longer yours anymore.

1 Like

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by motymop: 8:47am On Apr 08, 2022
I think a woman is suppose to improve no matter what even if her bf or husband is the one making enough money for both of them. The lack of effort or improvement by the girl is something that will affect the relationship in the future...when you get to a certain level, you will feel like you can do better, if you see no changes or improvement.

This something most people don't realize,

1 Like

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by Oyiboman69: 9:08am On Apr 08, 2022
TheAdventurous:
Good day everyone.
Am a young guy in my late twenties, and am in a very serious relationship with my girlfriend now for over 3 years. She works with my former boss in the previous company I worked, before I resigned to set up my own personal business. Prior to that Time I have started developing feelings for her, made my intentions known, and it took her close to a year for her to finally give in to my request.

We have been together for a while now and she happens to be the best of them all. Because of her loyalty, and forward thinking attitude, I made her a partner In my company.she started working for me and was really an asset, knows how to keep work and relationship life balanced and very professional. Fast-forward to 2020 during the pandemic the business suffered a lot, making it difficult for us to even feed sometimes, because have used all my funds to invest in the business, but God in his infinite ways always come through and show us mercy. We have been struggling together and she's so understanding and never gets to pressure me for anything, I feel comfortable telling her my business dealings, and transactions am working on, without having any form of resentment. She's someone I can talk to about anything and everything.
Currently she stays with me in my 2 bedroom flat, I Cater for her, and try in my own little way to provide all the necessary and essential things of Life for her. But of late, I started feeling she could do more as I don't like my woman doing nothing, I like her to also hustle, make her own money and be comfortable in her own way.

Now the challenge is that I advised her to go and join her friend in Lagos inorder to get a white collar job for now while, am busy sorting things out here,to come join her soon. Just wanted to see her reactions, well she took it very serious, as she feels she's beginning to be a liability to me, she however contacted her friend on the island and planning to leave, to also work on her own. But I kinda feel worried that am making a wrong decision by letting a good woman leave, and I also don't want to limit her potentials by keeping her down since am not yet legally married to her. We all know the future can be so uncertain, when she gets there.
Note: This is someone I intend to get married to soon. If you like insult me na you Sabi ooo, need advice from the matured minded individuals only thanks. Sorry for the long write up, and typo errors.

I've seen so many married people who established and live from one business... Don't be unreasonable...

1 Like

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by princefrank76: 10:01am On Apr 08, 2022
"Lamentations of brother jero" confused fella.

if u allow her leave, then be certain another man will be servicing her engine.

why she'll give in to that is because, she won't have the assurance u gonna marry again.

your mistakes was;
you shouldn't have made her quit her former job until your own business starts booming. And perhaps the idea of her working for u wasn't the best.

secondly, u shouldn't have made her move in with u since u are yet to pay how dowry. Asking her to leave now will only send a negative message to her head and she'll feel u are tired of her already and the need to exploit new options will pop up in her mind.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by pretydiva(f): 10:58am On Apr 08, 2022
Zonefree:

For the record, there's no good Nigerian woman. Don't feel worried over nothing.
Shut up
Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by EmzyT: 10:59am On Apr 08, 2022
Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by Robertgreene1(m): 11:02am On Apr 08, 2022
Interesting...But if u like leave her..lf u like don't leave her...that's ur problem!
My own is just..make una never born pikin yet abeg....till u re financially stable enough...hungry kids full everywhere now 4 ds country..so dont add 2 their numbers...na beg I dey beg una..
Let's break this endemic cycle of poverty in this country with our own little efforts..
Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by Johnny147147: 11:09am On Apr 08, 2022
TheAdventurous:
Good day everyone.
Am a young guy in my late twenties, and am in a very serious relationship with my girlfriend now for over 3 years. She works with my former boss in the previous company I worked, before I resigned to set up my own personal business. Prior to that Time I have started developing feelings for her, made my intentions known, and it took her close to a year for her to finally give in to my request.

We have been together for a while now and she happens to be the best of them all. Because of her loyalty, and forward thinking attitude, I made her a partner In my company.she started working for me and was really an asset, knows how to keep work and relationship life balanced and very professional. Fast-forward to 2020 during the pandemic the business suffered a lot, making it difficult for us to even feed sometimes, because have used all my funds to invest in the business, but God in his infinite ways always come through and show us mercy. We have been struggling together and she's so understanding and never gets to pressure me for anything, I feel comfortable telling her my business dealings, and transactions am working on, without having any form of resentment. She's someone I can talk to about anything and everything.
Currently she stays with me in my 2 bedroom flat, I Cater for her, and try in my own little way to provide all the necessary and essential things of Life for her. But of late, I started feeling she could do more as I don't like my woman doing nothing, I like her to also hustle, make her own money and be comfortable in her own way.

Now the challenge is that I advised her to go and join her friend in Lagos inorder to get a white collar job for now while, am busy sorting things out here,to come join her soon. Just wanted to see her reactions, well she took it very serious, as she feels she's beginning to be a liability to me, she however contacted her friend on the island and planning to leave, to also work on her own. But I kinda feel worried that am making a wrong decision by letting a good woman leave, and I also don't want to limit her potentials by keeping her down since am not yet legally married to her. We all know the future can be so uncertain, when she gets there.
Note: This is someone I intend to get married to soon. If you like insult me na you Sabi ooo, need advice from the matured minded individuals only thanks. Sorry for the long write up, and typo errors.


Dear Op, don't let a good woman out easily. They're rare to find. But u can find a million weyreys in a day. Like Chidi2022 a bitter frustrated soul roaming looking for a good man to render miserable
Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by valdes00(m): 12:38pm On Apr 08, 2022
The moment she enters lagos, thats the end of ur relationship... No Cap

Just like someone said above, you grew tired of her due to the fact that she turned in a live in lover... So you needed the space for fresh air but at the expense of ur relationship...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by TheAdventurous: 6:22am On Apr 09, 2022
Thanks guys for all the advice given to me yesterday, lemme start by replying a few reasonable people and forget about the ones that are so damn irrelevant, as I can see some people in this forum think through their anus.

Firstly trust is the foundation of every good relationship, no good relationship can thrive without it. The reason we have come this far is because of the understanding we have for each other, I detest going through her phone and she doesn't go through mine either, it's not like am stupid, but have not seen a valid reason,or a suspicious behavior from her to make me reason towards that direction.

Someone said am confused, if I was upright with my reasoning, and knew what to do, then there will be no need to bring my relationship issues up here but thanks anyways. There's good women in Nigeria,some people can just be unfortunate by consistently meeting the bad ones because they themselves are not anything close to being good,likes attract likes.

Jerewise332 you are truly wise and I appreciate your opinion thanks. Truth be told I love my woman no doubt, but like I said earlier, I hate to see her redundant, it weakens me, she's a very ambitious and hardworking woman before we started dating, and I don't intend to kill that by keeping her down in one place, because of my own selfish desires. you need to have sense of purpose not sitting at home all day wallowing, it can be tiring don't you think? Though am planning to relocate to lag also before 3rd quarter of the year, but really needs to offset a lot of things and sell some of my properties back here to raise enough capital to start up a new Business there.
Yeah planning to settle down real soon, likewise she, but we have agreed to use this few years we have left as boyfriend and girlfriend to chase the paper. When you are married it won't be business as usual.

Mottymop I totally agree with you, sometimes love is never enough to sustain relationships, you just need to be doing something Sha, don't be over dependant, most times it sucks and can be draining. Imagine asking a man to give you money for the least airtime to recharge your phone, yeah the man can do that occasionally but it's not mandatory he provides everything. If not you will be seen as a big liability.

Princefrank, we make mistakes in life sometimes can be irreparable. I didn't allow her to quit her job though, the company wasn't meeting up with her demands, and environment was toxic, coupled with the fact that salary wasn't paid on time, sometimes it can be held for months she got tired and resigned voluntarily. Moving in with the me was indeed a wrong decision and am trying to make it right.

Conclusion: I have decided to take things slowly a step at a time, there's no hurry in life. I have made all the necessary arrangements and fundings for her to relocate. in fact I have called a few friends in her profession who can help secure good jobs for her in there office over there. Just hope things goes as planned anyways.
Thanks to y'all once More for your advice I truly appreciate. Case closed.
Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by placeofallure(f): 6:32am On Apr 09, 2022
yanabasee:
Op, you're making a very big mistake....


Firstly, I noticed that you grew tired of her and probably needed a space and you came up with an excise of asking her to get something doing.... Even tho you never admitted this on your write up.


What I'd done is to be the one to go to Lagos and get established while she managed my business and then she will join me in Lagos and not the other way round.... You're sending her away for another man to put a ring on those fingers that you've delayed for 3yrs now ..

Of she's a good woman like you've described.... Believe me, she will be taken away from you. Good women are easily detected by men who knows their value and they don't keep them for years, they just marry them.

What you said about good women, very true.
I have one of them as a friend. We all know she's good. She met someone on fb, the man is a good reader of character. What we know about her, he already knows too and just like that, he wants marriage and they're zooming off together too. So happy for her.

OP is a confused man. He should first do a thorough soul searching on what he really wants first, then go for it.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by fijiuba: 7:21am On Apr 09, 2022
I just have the feeling that this OP is lying about the girl genuinely helping him. I suspect that she's just there with entitlement and eating his money . If she was truly an asset he wouldn't want her going in a hurry in the first place
Re: Why Do I Feel Am Making The Wrong Decision By Letting Her Leave by yanabasee(m): 8:28am On Apr 09, 2022
placeofallure:


What you said about good women, very true.
I have one of them as a friend. We all know she's good. She met someone on fb, the man is a good reader of character. What we know about her, he already knows too and just like that, he wants marriage and they're zooming off together too. So happy for her.

OP is a confused man. He should first do a thorough soul searching on what he really wants first, then go for it.

She's lucky....


Op needs to think and plan better.... To find a good woman isn't a child's play...

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