Kreddy:

This night,she also confided in me that my brother's wife who's related to her father,used to tell her mum how wicked my mom is, that my mom use to control her children. This I didn't really see it as an issue. If I were to take up this matter,my mom would really not take it lightly. Though I was advised by my younger brother to confront her on it. But I'm resisting the urge.
I really need your inputs on this matter.

Kreddy:
There's this girl I've been dating for a year now. I met her at a friend's wedding. I've met her mother before we went far in the relationship and thankfully she "yessed" the relationship. Two months ago, I had a disagreement (due to her unfaithfulness) with my fiancee. I was a little bit tensed and I ended up calling her a dog. I really love her, there's a time I visited her out of blue,She asked me to sit which I denied,I angrily asked her if she put a charm on the chair for me to sit on. It took some weeks before we came to terms again. I was not aware that all my statements had been reported to her mom.
Last Friday,I was publicly embarrassed by her mother. I was with her on that faithful night,in the middle of our discussion,her mother just showed up and told me she can't marry me. She made allusion to my utterances, (charm). I left the spot shamelessly.
Now today the girl visited me and asked me to impregnate her to avoid being given to a man who's being giving her mother money.
This girl was raised by a single mother,her elder sister was also supporting the mother. it's only her immediate brother that's against her being given to the man. The man, who's being conversing with her mother and sister on phone,wants to make her the second wife.
The main issue is that, I'm an undergraduate at my penultimate year, living with my parents. I can't yield to her request (impregnating her) which might be disastrous, I'm not financially stable. The girl really loves me and I do too. She burst into tears when I told her to follow her mother's Will. I have lost my sense of reasoning,I can't just arrive at a logical conclusion.
What should do??
This night,she also confided in me that my brother's wife who's related to her father,used to tell her mum how wicked my mom is, that my mom use to control her children. This I didn't really see it as an issue. If I were to take up this matter,my mom would really not take it lightly. Though I was advised by my younger brother to confront her on it. But I'm resisting the urge.
I really need your inputs on this matter.

Mooh247:



That is how devil destroys wonderful destiny... Never force love, don't manipulate your way into marriage , don't make expensive life decisions based on unstable emotions

What is rightfully yours would not give you unnecessary heartache

Most happily married people also have an ex that it didn't work out with, some while in school others later in life but when the right partner steps into your life everything becomes easy




.

Kreddy:





Thanks for your contribution.
1. How do I tell to go follow her mother's wish without hurting her feelings?
2. How do I handle my brother's wife issue?

Since you have started by letting her know that you are not available for that giant step of bringing a child into the world, due to financial and emotional reasons that comes with fatherhood, please stick to it...

Let her know that she can't wait for you...But if another man comes along the way, she's free to to marry..
Ask her if she's cut out for a polygamous life style.. if she says no, then tell her that the person that will marry that man is her and not her mother.. therefore she has a 100% say on whom she will spend the rest of her life with... Definitely not someone that she has zero feeling for...


Second question...
There's a proverbs that I used to hear from my mother those days growing up... "It's not every rain that falls that one brings out bucket to harvest" ... Meaning u can't simply address every idle gossip...

You are a man, there are certain things men see or hear, they just ignore... Hit the ignore button in this case buddy....

Kreddy:
There's this girl I've been dating for a year now. I met her at a friend's wedding. I've met her mother before we went far in the relationship and thankfully she "yessed" the relationship. Two months ago, I had a disagreement (due to her unfaithfulness) with my fiancee. I was a little bit tensed and I ended up calling her a dog. I really love her, there's a time I visited her out of blue,She asked me to sit which I denied,I angrily asked her if she put a charm on the chair for me to sit on. It took some weeks before we came to terms again. I was not aware that all my statements had been reported to her mom.
Last Friday,I was publicly embarrassed by her mother. I was with her on that faithful night,in the middle of our discussion,her mother just showed up and told me she can't marry me. She made allusion to my utterances, (charm). I left the spot shamelessly.
Now today the girl visited me and asked me to impregnate her to avoid being given to a man who's being giving her mother money.
This girl was raised by a single mother,her elder sister was also supporting the mother. it's only her immediate brother that's against her being given to the man. The man, who's being conversing with her mother and sister on phone,wants to make her the second wife.
The main issue is that, I'm an undergraduate at my penultimate year, living with my parents. I can't yield to her request (impregnating her) which might be disastrous, I'm not financially stable. The girl really loves me and I do too. She burst into tears when I told her to follow her mother's Will. I have lost my sense of reasoning,I can't just arrive at a logical conclusion.
What should do??
This night,she also confided in me that my brother's wife who's related to her father,used to tell her mum how wicked my mom is, that my mom use to control her children. This I didn't really see it as an issue. If I were to take up this matter,my mom would really not take it lightly. Though I was advised by my younger brother to confront her on it. But I'm resisting the urge.
I really need your inputs on this matter.

RoyalRoy

@RoyalRoy

please do frontpage it,to get more inputs

Kreddy:
I was unable to tame my tongue when angry, which I've just realised as a mistake on my part.
But why's everyone neglecting my brother's wife gossip which I think lent a credence to the whole issue. Since I heard of her own part, I've not opened my mouth to greet her.

Kreddy:
There's this girl I've been dating for a year now. I met her at a friend's wedding. I've met her mother before we went far in the relationship and thankfully she "yessed" the relationship. Two months ago, I had a disagreement (due to her unfaithfulness) with my fiancee. I was a little bit tensed and I ended up calling her a dog. I really love her, there's a time I visited her out of blue,She asked me to sit which I denied,I angrily asked her if she put a charm on the chair for me to sit on. It took some weeks before we came to terms again. I was not aware that all my statements had been reported to her mom.
Last Friday,I was publicly embarrassed by her mother. I was with her on that faithful night,in the middle of our discussion,her mother just showed up and told me she can't marry me. She made allusion to my utterances, (charm). I left the spot shamelessly.
Now today the girl visited me and asked me to impregnate her to avoid being given to a man who's being giving her mother money.
This girl was raised by a single mother,her elder sister was also supporting the mother. it's only her immediate brother that's against her being given to the man. The man, who's being conversing with her mother and sister on phone,wants to make her the second wife.
The main issue is that, I'm an undergraduate at my penultimate year, living with my parents. I can't yield to her request (impregnating her) which might be disastrous, I'm not financially stable. The girl really loves me and I do too. She burst into tears when I told her to follow her mother's Will. I have lost my sense of reasoning,I can't just arrive at a logical conclusion.
What should do??
This night,she also confided in me that my brother's wife who's related to her father,used to tell her mum how wicked my mom is, that my mom use to control her children. This I didn't really see it as an issue. If I were to take up this matter,my mom would really not take it lightly. Though I was advised by my younger brother to confront her on it. But I'm resisting the urge.
I really need your inputs on this matter.

RoyalRoy

@RoyalRoy

please do frontpage it,to get more inputs