I made a very deep mistake that is costing my life i got married just to help my family even at that i can't do anything...my pastor and church members were the ones who pressured me saying God wanted to uplift my family through it,my mum and siblings didn't even have a roof on their heads i was naive yes! This man insults and reminds me of my predicaments and the worst part he gets angry when i talk about my siblings,and yet he is a cheat always with cd i am 22 and i already have a daughter she would be 2 this year honestly i know i can't have my innocence back but i know he lied to my pastor and was just looking for a good naive woman to marry,when i gave birth he rufused that somebody should come and help me it was my first and i was stiched 3 times,3 months later he wanted me to get pregnant again cos he wants a boy and he keeps treatening me about leaving,right now i don't have hand work and my salary is 18k i started working to support myself still updating...

Nobody should be forced into marriage n never u rush into marriage

Marriage is not a gateway from poverty. Those who became successful after they got married have it planned to be economically empowered. Your pastor lied to you. Your parents, unfortunately belong to a church or belief system that is dysfunctional spiritually, socially and economically. I don't see any problem in your marriage. The only problem is that you were not armed with the truth about how life works. Given the current challenge, you may have to have a rethink of what you call marriage.

never

Chosen44:
I made a very deep mistake that is costing my life i got married just to help my family even at that i can't do anything...my pastor and church members were the ones who pressured me saying God wanted to uplift my family through it,my mum and siblings didn't even have a roof on their heads i was naive yes! This man insults and reminds me of my predicaments and the worst part he gets angry when i talk about my siblings,and yet he is a cheat always with cd i am 22 and i already have a daughter she would be 2 this year honestly i know i can't have my innocence back but i know he lied to my pastor and was just looking for a good naive woman to marry,when i gave birth he rufused that somebody should come and help me it was my first and i was stiched 3 times,3 months later he wanted me to get pregnant again cos he wants a boy and he keeps treatening me about leaving,right now i don't have hand work and my salary is 18k i started working to support myself still updating...

Mrs Nwachukwu number 2. You better run. Go back to your family. Marriage is not a family support program. Marriage is not a national feeding program. Go back to your parents, work for your money, take care of your child and marry properly...otherwise you will be repeating history.

No condition is permanent, all condition are all temporary. For the fact that you came from a poor background should make you desperate to settle down all in a bid to liberate your family from the shackle and bondage of poverty, and never allow peer pressure or what friends and family says to push you to marriage.


A lot of people today are regretting of whom they got married to, such would've been avoided assuming they waited for the right time and the right partner that God kept for them.



There's no harm in leaving your marriage if you're not comfortable there. It's better to leave alive and to live than to stay and and regret every day of your life for ending with the man or the woman . May God direct our steps

Eya sorry eh

hmmmmm

Choose what is best for your mental health

Some mistakes in life comes with long lasting pains.

You better learn a skill and get a life.
Men are not worth sacrifycing your all because at the end of the day, they either kick you out after using up your youth and move on to the next smallie or kill you with physical abuse.

Pause the idea of birthing more children for now. Save up some cash, look for a any catering school and enroll. If you want to further in your education, go for it. Just try and empower yourself. You're still too young to waste away depending on one man without achieving something for yourself. Very soon, you'll get to a stage you will not be able to do these things with ease.

Marriage is nothing but a nightmare these days.

Take the case to human right court, they know what to do next

Let your family start supporting themselves. You are not a sacrificial lamb. Why should you be the one carrying all.of them? Let everyone old enough get involved.

It's your choice if you want to spend the rest of your life married to such a man. That should inform your decision to stay or leave.

Keep 'being the sacrificial lamb' of the family until you drop dead!!!

If your family wanted an escape route from the poverty they should have worked/work harder.

Try to learn a skill and be a bit empowered for the sake of your kid.
Hungry will not kill the family.

Get on birth control for now and ask that he use condoms with you since he wants to keep cheating. Those his condoms he uses outside can fail if he’s very promiscuous. I suggest you take this time to figure out what you want out of life, what your goals and aspirations are. Plus what kind of marriage you desire. Draw it out, pray on it and start working on your personal development as well as your marriage if you think it’s worth it.

Don’t stay in a bad situation because of your family. If you die there, life will go on and they will survive. Sad you listened to fake pastor and married this man. Would it not have been better at 22 to be a single lady earning your 18k in peace while planning your next move in life? Now there is a baby involved.

Why the rush to get married? You were an adult when you got married though a young one. But you should have ensured he at least completed your schooling before getting pregnant. Which you will get a job and support your family yourself to limit see finish. It does not seem like you have finished Uni. I suggest you convince him to pay to finish your education. If you start earning money you block your family members from going to beg him, you may avoid see finishness. Then afterwards reevaluate if the marriage is worth it. When he sees you are independent and the family has stopped begging money, he may respect you more and be afraid to lose you. Just protect yourself for now and plan your next move. Don’t add another child to the mix because, if he dumps you with two children. You will hear it o.

Richy4:
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But dear what do you want if I may ask?

You have a concrete reason why u married him right?... It's not for the love nor the affection... it's just to put roof over your family's head and take away poverty from your household is that not it?... Get that priority right and stick with the plan... Trust and Obey while u were at it

Obey what exactly?not talking about the same family i want to help?trying to use my predicament to tell me they hate me and i should stop talking to them why?trying to force me to take his own food,drugs and everything even to the extent of monit

This is a sad situation, no need judging you. Your mental state and happiness is very important always remember. Be on a reliable family planning method now so you don’t get pregnant again then learn a skill to make funds for yourself.

You need to know what you want for yourself before going into marriage or partnership because you can’t give what you don’t have. Your family is a selfish one and they care little or nothing about you so use your head.

I don't know how some females do it.

They introduce you to a man your heart and soul has not accepted just so you can escape poverty.

Every night, he sleeps with you. No love...nothing.

Is this not legalized prostitution?

Chosen44:
Obey what exactly?not talking about the same family i want to help?trying to use my predicament to tell me they hate me and i should stop talking to them why?trying to force me to take his own food,drugs and everything even to the extent of monit

You agreed to their terms by letting yourself used?..

You saw a young man you had no iota of feelings for, You knew all the bad vibe he stands for and all that he represents... and some people who are not gonna join you to suffer the fate of marrying the wrong person told u to marry him and u agreed ...remember the ultimate decision of marrying him was made by you and you should be accountable for it...

What else do you want me to tell you? if not to keep agreeing and tolerating him while you achieve your major goal and objective which is reducing household poverty to the barest minimum... Abi na bad advice I give you?

Women are not as complicated as men think. Telling your girl what she wants
and needs to hear should be at the top of your priority list, especially when it comes to
making her feel worth it. There's a feeling of pleasure that comes from wanting to
shower her with love without her having to ask. With that said, there are so many
underused three-word expressions she is probably dying to hear her man say.
In just three simple words, you can express your feelings for your crush, your girlfriend,
or your wife. It's not about a lack of self-esteem or insecurity; it's simply a nice thing to
do. Every one of us wants to be told how beautiful and how amazing we are by the
people she love. There is an array of words that a woman wants to hear at all hours and
times of the day. And because words are free, this shouldn't be too much to ask for.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgcsecIvkVM

Since d man married you to uplift your family, has he done anything for your family.
Then u that agreed to be d sacrificial lamb, u would set your target or priority right, but either u were carried away or laziness no gree u learn one skill

Leave yesterday.

emmanuelbrown26:
Since d man married you to uplift your family, has he done anything for your family.
Then u that agreed to be d sacrificial lamb, u would set your target or priority right, but either u were carried away or laziness no gree u learn one skill

It is not that i am lazy i am not and never will i tried learning tailoring my aunt brainwashed my elder sis that she should help me and can you imagine that's what her son went to learn she used my being asthmatic then as an excuse...and my mum has health issues i travelled to abuja to work at kilimanjaro my sis sent money to my aunt and she gave my mum who came to abuja and started causing problems until i had to go back to the village...my aunt is very diabolic,she convinced my uncle to throw us out and went to chieves to report so nobody can help us,she said i will serve her children and so on...i go to fry garri and mill banga 4 ppu village and the next village was i supposed to continue like that en for how long?

First, I'm sorry you're going through all of this. What state are you in? I know there are numerous Lagos based NGOs that can help.

It's not too late to learn a handwork or to go back to school

Do something with yourself and upgrade, or you will wake up one day at 35 with regrets and resentment. Time waits for no man.

Complete your story that u are still typing.....

What is done is done . I believe you’re looking for tips/advice to handle your current situation?!

Try these :

1. From your current earnings save a little. It’ll grow slowly but surely.
2. Desist from sharing your family’s needs/problems with your spouse. Keep your issues within your family and make sure everyone in your family no longer does this
3. Where you can within your means help your folks do so, if not dont pressure yourself. What will be will be
4. Ensure you get family planning done for yourself. Do not have more children till you are mentally balanced. Don’t be pressured by your husband or other people

efficiencie:


Mrs Nwachukwu number 2. You better run. Go back to your family. Marriage is not a family support program. Marriage is not a national feeding program. Go back to your parents, work for your money, take care of your child and marry properly...otherwise you will be repeating history.

Osinachi Nwachukwu was feeding her husband.

DON'T FORGET THAT.

It's sad that churches that should advice people according to God precepts are misleading naive Christians into error and leaving them to perish in the predicaments and struggles.

pick up ur life and plan it from the little u can to where u hope to be. Start and help will come along the way.