You probably have that one friend who always posts pictures on Instagram too frequently, and is obsessed with how many engagements he’s able to rake in.

It sometimes gets very irritating, and you could sum him up as a narcissist, but you’d be wrong. Arrogant, egotistic, and pompous could be the right adjectives, but narcissist may not.

This is because narcissism runs much deeper, and is much more serious than obsessing over the right Snapchat filter.

If your friend/partner/spouse exhibits these traits, you just might be dealing with a narcissist.

Before I give a detailed explanation, I’m going to give you a more broad checklist, which my explanation will fall under.

A narcissist exhibits/shows;

An overinflated and exaggerated sense of self-importance

A deep lack of empathy for others

Troubled relationships in the past

A strong need for admiration and attention

Dating a narcissist is an emotional rollercoaster, and if you’re reading this and just got out of a relationship with one, I’m very sure you’d be able to agree with me.

This is because, as I stated earlier, they only care about themselves, so much that it literally hurts their significant other. The irony of it all is that relationships with narcissists are very hard to get out of.

Why? Because the narcissist designs the whole thing in such a way that when the relationship is good, it’s very good, but when it’s bad, it’s horrible.

The problem here is that when it’s bad, you (the victim) will begin to remember all the good times, and then strive to do better to get back there. This is something the narcissist hopes to capitalize on, and it also leads to my first point.

1. They were excessively charming at first

When you first met them, they kind of came off really strong. They constantly told you how beautiful you are, how they love your intelligence, how compatible you are, all within the short period of time they knew you.

They basically try their best to make you feel very special, in hopes that, for their generosity, you’d reciprocate the gesture (usually with an extreme level of disproportionality)

"How dare you defy me? Even after I called you beautiful and basically made you, a worthless sack of shit, feel special?"

During this stage, the narcissist has already started sinking their claws deep into your mentality. You’re basically walking on eggshells because you wouldn’t want to make the person who made you feel special, angry, now would you?

It’s also important to note that in this stage, when you do offend the narcissist (by their standard) and they begin lashing out at you, you’d remember those late-night texts that made you giggle, and in a struggle to get back to those days, you’d become putty in their hands.

2. They just won’t shut up about themselves

If you discover your partner never stops talking about him/herself, bragging about their accomplishments, and trying so hard to make you feel like you’re nothing more than a mere extra in their life, chances are you’re involved with a narcissist.

Narcissists always feel like they’re better than everyone else, and will often over-exaggerate their accomplishments. They’re also too busy talking about themselves to listen to you, and may not even bother to, as much as, ask to follow up questions when you bring up something about yourself.

It’s all about them

3. They don’t do emotions that aren’t theirs

Do you notice your partner getting bored or uninterested when you talk about your rough day, or how that colleague at work nearly made you cry?

Do they always try to change the subject?

Well, narcissists don’t have the necessary skills needed to make other people feel accepted, important, as well as validated.

This right here, this seemingly total lack of feeling towards others is a clear hallmark of a narcissist, and in most cases, this is what usually snaps the victim out of the relationship.

4. They’re always picking on you

From what you wear, eat, to what you watch, narcissists are always looking for a way to bring you down in the relationship because it makes them feel powerful.

Surprisingly, in most cases, the subtle early signs were there but ignored. It started off as harmless jokes until it became more and more consistent, as well as more hurtful.

Continue reading here: 6 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist

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