True love never die, the way u introduce ur girlfriend to us, she didn't deserve it!
I was in Lagos, my girl was in chibok local government borno state, and it's three days journey before see her, I didn't give up, I most see her ones in year.

oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.

lol, you no serious. Tell us the real reason. Talk say you don tire

Ebubu:


Excellent submission. Love should overcome fear, unless OP doesn’t love the lady but just marrying for marriage sake or because it is time to marry sake. Ordinarily love would push you to act beyond that fear. Love breaks barriers or fears, oldienavie.

Stupid comment

oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.

if you have the funds to hire police escorts, then go with that option...Make sure you conclude everything almost immediately..

Even me, I have this phobia for travelling ever since this rubbish kidnapping issues became rampant in Nigeria, I'm yet to go back to my base in Kaduna state for over 5years now, just when I was planning on making to it Abj via flight then board a train to Kaduna state, then the air ticket hike happened coupled with the terrorists attack on train..Omo I just respect myself and stay put

Ishilove:

Can't you compress all that to and fro into as little as possible? We are in the age of technology and I fail to see why you have to be traveling upandan in the name of seeing her family when you can do virtually most things via phone calls ? Your fears are valid in the light of the current security situation in the country.

The only reasonable comment on this issue here

So you mean if you date a woman whose parents do not reside in your locality, or where they say traditional marriage would be done outside your locality, and would have to travel nothing less than four hours, you would just be quitting the relationship anyhow.

Well, i use to think this way too, but you have to just sit and map things out, maybe use a flight or some other means if you are afraid to go like average and below average Nigerians who have committed their safety in the hands of God.

My Edo friend here in Lagos married an Anambra Lady and traditional was held in Anambra, he saved up for it, used flight and today, he is happily married. Everything is about determination and planning. Insecurity can catch up with anyone anywhere, even in your house.

Has Agbero caught up with you once while driving in traffic in the evening, Omo you go know say, when it comes to insecurity, our security apparatus is overstretched and not closely available when needed. Considering you have a good woman, with all you have stated, nothing is too small to make that relationship work and be purposeful.

gaius01:
Arrrrrrrh

Wahala dey oo....So you mean somebody dey break up because of travelling phobia abi na phobia travelling.

I'm just imagining the temerity you will use to tell her this! Just paste/say the main reasons behind your break up, than telling us this immature reason.

Distance dey scare you.....? This shows that you are a baby...if you can't endure the patience of staying in a distanced relationship why did you embark on it at the first place?

Too many problem for this country....abeg people dey get reasons shuuuu...

Honestly ooo dude go don over chop and clean mouth, now scared of answering the big call.

Well I blame some naija girls and their stupid mentality of flooding themselves around some guys all because they come from abroad.

Just imagine a reason from a matured guy!

How many people dey love before getting marrying for this country abeg?
Only few so leave the man alone of you don't have advice for him

Ebubu:


Excellent submission. Love should overcome fear, unless OP doesn’t love the lady but just marrying for marriage sake or because it is time to marry sake. Ordinarily love would push you to act beyond that fear. Love breaks barriers or fears, oldienavie.

Did someone tell u say. U are not serious? If none. Then make i tell u. You are not serious

oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful.

I wanted to join others in dragging you but I remember my friend that dislike traveling by road. So e dey happen.

But do you think that is enough reason to let her go?
Think it deep before taking the step because getting a good girl is a big deal.

oldienavie:

You are missing the point, I have a phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, I avoid it as much as I can. Infact I have been in Naija almost 6 months and am not planning to travel out of this city.
When going to Lagos I use the train or fly if thats an option.

Now to bring all my family on that route for an occasion like marriage, would mean I have to ply that road up to 10 times at least going back and forth with family.
That scares me.

I understand your phobia and you have a very good point. Someone from my area travelled last weekend to Imo state with 2 of his family members and the girl he intended to marry for traditional rite and all of them were killed in Imo before reaching their intended destination. It can happen anywhere.

sorry, but there are alternative,
if its 4 hour journey,. time your journey. take sleeping tablet 2 hours before your journey, it might reduce stress and the phobia.


You can also relocate the girls family temporarily . like rent a place for month or 2 months.

oldienavie:

I know it sounds ridiculous, but the phobia is strong. I know how hard it is to come across good girls in Nigeria, at the same time the thought of being on that road, especially when it's time to bring my family on that journey kinda scares me.

Don't worry. Don't break up cos of this. When its time to show up there. I will drive you there, you just pay me a reasonable amount for my service. Which city are you even talking about?

oldienavie:

I know it sounds ridiculous, but the phobia is strong. I know how hard it is to come across good girls in Nigeria, at the same time the thought of being on that road, especially when it's time to bring my family on that journey kinda scares me.

are you sure you are not a coward.
I have been a coward and I found out later

get out. nl always bringing meaningless post to front page

Let her understand your reason or preferably polish it with a warning from a friend who just had such experience, then ask her to come visit if she's does not mind the risks involved. I believe with time you will overcome your fear and find a better place, safe for you and her I'm saying all this because you described her to be loyal and respectful and you shouldn't lose such beauty quote author=oldienavie post=112444534]So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.[/quote]

Well, you are right to have phobia and if you don't overcome it because the road may not get any better soon u can let her know.

But the truth about life is; safety is in God alone, and your faith guarantees your eventual outcome from life.

I travel almost everywhere in 9ja, and remain safe. Just let the HolySpirit direct your life and all will be well. Coz, He will guide and guard your path.

Best wishes

oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.

How old are you?

Then it means you don't know what want. Just in the class of those who marry for formality.

blazingblender:
My friend go and sit down
Your girlfriend is the one who doesn't deserve you sef
You are having phobia travelling on Nigeria road
Asif the country you live in you guys fly around..
Secondly I believe the abroad you are even talking about may be one of this closeby African countries like Cotonou
Si if you don't come back home where do u wanna retire??
Or you think we living here are asshol*$?

You really dung of brain...You post is as empty as ur brain

oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.

You are not only selfish but also dysfunctional in your thinking! It appears you do not love or care for her feelings. Regardless, I assume there are other reasons you want to leave her, possibly you met someone recently and you are only trying to discard her with some spurious reasons!

Traveling by road in Nigeria is risky but not as much as you painted it. There are airports in major cities in Nigeria and you can make use of that opening! Since you have this phobia for road travels, why haven’t you shared this with her and look for ways to resolve? This you story is not only laughable, it can arguably win the most funny stories here on nairaland!

You are just a pretender you don't love the girl at all, you just looking for a way to end the relationship.

...

oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.

With all due respect sir
Your head is not correct
Go back to that country and marry.
Wetin concern road and marriage

You are exactly in my shoes.. if she is understanding and has understanding parents do it by zoom or proxy.. don't risk jack.. better safe than sorry.... If not japa.. if anything bad happens to you she will move on eventually trust me.. REMEMBER... NEVER MAKE DECISIONS BASED ON EMOTIONS....

Pacesetter2021:
Break up with her.
So God can give her the husband he designed for her.

If this is a reason then you do not value her. If they told you to come 6 hours journey and take senatorial ticket for formality sake because the position has been kept for you, you will go.

Please release that lady I beg you.

Ogbeni packwell

Root cause analysis... What's making yiu have that phobia? Have you been kidnapped before or it's just stories you read online? For every 1 person that's kidnapped on a Nigerian road, over a thousand have passed there without any issue.

If you are financially buoyant, have you considered hiring private security for the trip? Also limiting your travels to day only(since you said it's 4 hrs away). Kidnapping happens, but it's very rare you'd be a victim as the probability of you being randomly kidnapped is very very low. Except informants are on your matter.

Don't lose a good girl for something you can think up a solution on.

oga if u re buoyant enough, then go to the police station or military barrack and request for escort, drop some good money to help feed our military and police, infact it would help in chasing away police at checkpoint, FRSC personnel's, VIO officials and agberos from ur path! To ensure safety travel from 10am and end at 4:00pm don't travel in the night if u don't av to, and lastly follow the travel advisory of the Nigerian ministry of foreign affairs and the country u reside in, but make i no lie, U don't love the girl simple! I felt that too, I broke up with someone and I didn't know the reason y I did, smtyms u find reasons, OP save urslf and tell urslf the truth only the truth can set u free and wen u av admitted u don't like her, tell her u don't have the spark u used to av instead of this cowardly excuse!

I was actually beginning to reason with your "genuine" reason until I saw one of your comments and this quoted one, most especially.
Why don't you just be truthful to yourself and the lady and leave her alone. You aren't interested! It's not too late to bail!!

oldienavie:

Finally someone that understands my thoughts.
I have googled Ondo State tire and the kind of reports I see are very distressing, the city is 1 hour away from Akure that has an airport and looking up Akure by air, it does seem like no airline goes to that place.

I spent hours searching for flights to Akure didn't see any.

Ofcourse I do love her and value her, but like you have said, living in Nigeria is like being in an active war zone and the risk of being on that stretch of road for 4 hours to and fro and about 3 times thats really making me feel discouraged.

Rubbish

oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.

You have to understand that most nigerians are not rational thinkers that's why you're getting all these idiotic feedbacks. Your life is more important than any girl's whether a virgin or like Toke makinwa. Just let her go and find a woman where you would be comfortable commuting to in order to have a heathy and safe relationship.