I have been married for 3 years,and blessed with a child.My wife and i have been having a reocurring disagreement and i want to lay them to rest as soon as possible:

1) My child is 1 year 7months and my wife insist that he will still sleep in our bed,most times lyiing down between us,i don't subscribe to that,so i told my wife that now he is 1 year 7 months can we move him to is bed and room,she refuses and is even accusing me of not loving my child,and this is upsetting me because i know i love my son,it's just that i believe that the relationship between me and my wife comes first before a relationship with anyone including my kids,and i have seen women give birth and move all there attention to there children neglecting her husband,i don't want this to happen in my home,besides i wasn't raised like that.

2) My wife wants our son to start school at 1 year 7months,i want him to spend more time with her at home to bond and also to allow his defence against illnesses and diseases to become stronger(i'm not sure i'm right about this last point)and start school at 2 years 7months.

Please i need advice and will follow it,we don't know everything so i want to get your views on this two pertinent issues above.Thanks.

@OP i am a married man with 2kids my first is 4yrs and 2month and my son is 1 and a month my daughter have always been sleeping in the same bed with us even if we put her to bed in her room if she wake up at the middle of the night she will run straight to our room am also trying to change that but not easy cos she will start crying and i hate seeing my her crying cos i love my kids so much so she still sleep with us and sometimes when am around she sleep on mt chest

about the school i think you need to talk to your wife and let her know your son need sometimes with his mother before school i think my girl start school at around same age but the reason is that am not always around i travel alot so that is the reason for that and beside the school is just opposite my wife shop then so that give her the reason to put her in school at the early age. best of luck bro

A few things about the sleeping arrangement:

1. Its sometimes easier for a mother to have the child sleep in her bed as it makes having to get up during the night less stressful for her.
2. kids find it difficult adjusting to sleeping on their own. They are kids and it can be scary for them to sleep on their own.
3. She may not feel ready for intimacy yet. May sound weird but it happens.
4. She may also feel that all you are interested in is intimacy. Do you actually help her out with taking care of the kid.

Talk to your wife in a calm, loving, caring manner, during a time when she is not stressed out at all. Let her see that you just want to keep the romance alive.

About school.
A number of men have the wrong attitude that mothers do nothing all day when they stay home with the kids. They don't see what work is there to do. Taking care of a child all day is very hard work. It can be stressful beyond understanding. So when she wants to send the child off to school that early, she is looking for some time for herself. It is understandable that you want the child to be a bit older and probably a good decision but maybe you could compromise. You both look for a really good place where he could go for even 2 hours a day or a bit more, (let your wife have a say). That way she can have time to do whatever she wants in those hours.

Hope this helps.

About the sleep arrangement. You could have a big crib set out in your bedroom where your child sleeps.

Your child should be sleeping in hisown room by now. It takes work to do it but you can have him sleeping in his own room within two weeks. I also think he is old enough to start school though I wonder how yoru wife that willnot allow him to sleep in his own bed can say he is mature enough to be in school. Having him in school will actually build his defenses againt common germs. Maybe you guys can come to some sort of compromise. he goes to daycare 3 days a week (maybe half days) so he can socialize with kids his age. and then go from there. It irritates me when something like the child sleeping in the marital bed is causing misery for someone. It is simple. Remove the child from the bed.

Thanks everyone for the advice,it's clear to me now i will allow my son stay in our room at least till he is 2years,about the school we will talk it over @smallbz  you are very correct i guess she needs time for herself,besides he will be in a class called toddlers class,it may become very good for him.

I also think he is old enough to start school though I wonder how yoru wife that willnot allow him to sleep in his own bed can say he is mature enough to be in school @ outstrip my thoughts exactly that was why i brought up the issue that he should start sleeping in room once he starts school.,but we will talk and come to a compromise somehow.

The young baby is what we call "Obski" as in obstruction. Move him to his own crib first then when he gets used to it, let him sleep in his own room. Do u want a 5 yr old running in while u and madam are trying for a second kid?

My baby is 4 months but he sleeps in his own crib though in the same room. It was initially that he used to sleep in our bed but when i noticed that his "obski" was getting too much, bought a mosquito net and moved him straight. I even give him very light custard so he will sleep very well @ night.

About the school, i think u av gotten the best advise. Also, ur wife can teach him a little at home.

@Blank The young baby is what we call "Obski" as in obstruction[color=#000099][/color] At last someone who understands my predicament i love this word "Obski".

Lol. Na oga teach me that name. He said it was a slang when he was growing up.

lol @ outstrip, my friend's child slept on their bed till she turned 5. Disgusting if you ask me, but it worked for them or so she said. They used to sneak out to the lounge room for sex. Highly disgusting. But each to their owm.

No child of mine both born and unborn is allowed to sleep on my bed after 3 months and that's maximum.

this child wants to obstruct the flow of amu?

@Jennykadry that bad of you 3month wetin dey happen now my daughter is over 4yrs and still sleeping in my bed i like it that way though am working on putting her to her room will be hard though cos i hate seen her cry but 3month is too early wetin happen

@bashy_demy Every man has his rules my uncle says 6months and the children leave the bedroom,i for one think it's commendable that a husband wants to spend quality time with his wife and not use there kids as a substitute,most women pray for such men.Just thinking aloud,and i know there are other reasons as a father you may want to let your kids sleep on your bed for very long,but we must ask the question,is it not part of weaning a child,to let them sleep on there own beds and room after a certain age? Wean:to stop somebody from having something transitive verb to cause somebody to go without something that has become a habit or that is much liked

I was the biggest Obski. . Till 13. No one dare send me out. And i would lie parallel on the bed, did not want any competition or new child. If my parents dare move an inch, big trouble . But i will flog any child that tries that with me. After 3 months, they are off to their bed or else.  .   .

Sleek Reek:

I have been married for 3 years,and blessed with a child.My wife and i have been having a reocurring disagreement and i want to lay them to rest as soon as possible:

1) My child is 1 year 7months and my wife insist that he will still sleep in our bed,most times lyiing down between us,i don't subscribe to that,so i told my wife that now he is 1 year 7 months can we move him to is bed and room,she refuses and is even accusing me of not loving my child,and this is upsetting me because i know i love my son,it's just that i believe that the relationship between me and my wife comes first before a relationship with anyone including my kids,and i have seen women give birth and move all there attention to there children neglecting her husband,i don't want this to happen in my home,besides i wasn't raised like that.

2) My wife wants our son to start school at 1 year 7months,i want him to spend more time with her at home to bond and also to allow his defence against illnesses and diseases to become stronger(i'm not sure i'm right about this last point)and start school at 2 years 7months.

Please i need advice and will follow it,we don't know everything so i want to get your views on this two pertinent issues above.Thanks.

You are right on point 1 and your wife is right on point 2. Your son should be sleeping in his own room now. Like someone sad, if the child is old enough to go to school, why can't he be old enough to sleep in his own room?

Also, how are you supposed to have sex with your wife if your child sleeps between you all? If the man cheat now, the women will start crying.

On the other issue, if you've had the opportunity to take care of a kid, then you know it's no small feat. Your child is old enough to start school. Like someone said, you can start taking him to school a few days a week and work your way up from there. Starting school early helps the child developmentally,

No wonder ur name na 2much. lol. I think the earlier they get used to their own room the better. Its much harder when the kid has grown small sense. He would feel lost but if the kid is younger, he can't lose what he never had.

blank:

No wonder your name na 2much. lol. I think the earlier they get used to their own room the better. Its much harder when the kid has grown small sense. He would feel lost but if the kid is younger, he can't lose what he never had.

. It gets worse as they grow older because they are now conscious of that extra person that sleeps with them. Which makes them feel safe, se cure and comfortable.If you dont take them out of your bed in time they begin to get anxiety and fear sleeping alone in a room. I know i was in my parents bed because i could not sleep without light. Once they try to turn the light off, before they reach their room i am there asleep. Dont start what you cant finish. The earlier the better. Maybe some kind of toy or teddy to sleep with will be an easier transition. . They had to disgrace me in front of my friends before i stopped.

Lmao @ 2mch

Me i told my hubby 3months maximum, he is the softie while me i am the agbero. The first few weeks with all the cries my hubby will call/me ''wicked'' and yea we did have small small quarells then cos I no gree. Cry no go kill a kid. If you cry, i will pet you and once you keep shushhh i deposit you back, after 2months, the drama ended.

I married very early and I guess that was why I got the best lectures from my mother.