Killerbag36:


They don't care abt brightness or success na money b there issues no just allow them see money

They are easily agitated when they see you more successful, especially when you think you can confront them....

There's nothing you can do for him at this point, because he is an adult that has refused to grow. You can only leave him to his parents to live with what they created.

You need to face you life and probablymove out. If he decides to sell everything in the house and your parents cannot do anything to stop him, then maybe they don't need the items he is selling.

35yrs old is too old to try to fix. He needs to be willing to be fixed or else, all the efforts of your family will be in vain.

Shoodboi:


You did well man. You did 100% well. I have a younger brother with this exact behavior. He takes weed too, dropped out from university, steals stuff in the house to sell, and just constitutes a nuisance to everyone around him. I've been the one checkmating his behavior and our mom keeps backing him.

You can't help them because tehy'd just drag youdown with their toxicity. So the best way to deal with them is to ignore them as you've been doing until they begin doing things that affects everyone, at which point you call them to order, and if they refuse, put their BS in check very quickly.

It's nice to see someone who relates with a nigh exact circumstance. Please if you don't mind me asking, how do you go about the bolded?

Him go soon crase enter market watchout

Asquare84:
A university graduate typed this episode with alot of uncoordinated sentence.

Just so you know, there's no word like "alot". It's "a lot". We all can be pedantic a-holes.

Killerbag36:


Wow I taught its was only me dat know wats wrong with that guy b4 lol weed wen b 100 ok mk we say e de take loud which 3k nd e de high bt e no they put for speed lane na only crack concaine na get dat power to make u de sell property nd valuable obey na Charlie nd thyland they put ur brother for speed oga there's no cure for it okay only carry am go rehab nd wem he has gotten him sef from the trauma send him to a community where e no know anybody nd find hand work for him finish if not nothing go change

Of a truth be told nothing sweet pass crack cocoane with thyland e sweet pass woman toto

Leave the young man to keep judging his big brother and washing dirty linen in public. Ah Bros that speed no be here o, when man don dey on speed, he fit use him wife medical bills take buy crackk without considering the consequences at the moment of urge. Na when money don finish person go realize say him don Bleep up. You end up getting mad at yourself and feeling suicidal when you can't afford it, and yes it is easier to resist to-to than crackk coccaine if you are already hooked.

Klass99:
I am tempted to say keep ignoring him and avoiding the toxicity but I worry for your parents, your father in particular, your mother.....not so much because of her role in creating the monster you described.

It's good that you intervened during the A.C. theft, but what happens if you move out or you are not around during another rogue incident? I genuinely feel sorry for your father.

Blood is not thicker than water in instances like these ooo and I don't fault you for acting the way you have. Your brother is a stark reminder of why I sometimes laugh and smh when people say children are a blessing, I guess they don't think beyond infancy/toddler years when children are sweet and cuddly.

children are gifts from God and every gift from him is to bless our lives, But it also depends on how we handle the gift in terms of how we nurture and care for it to get the desired benefits.

JustcallmeFavou:



All that you said here is so true! I once had an encounter with a very toxic person. It was just so unfortunate that I loved him!

He disguised being so nice, sweet, and kind from the beginning. Only to turn up being a leech and a parasite when he realized I had finally loved him.

He is a chronic liar, he feels entitled to your things, and he creates an emotional outburst when he is not having his way in terms of milking you dry.

When I have had enough, it was violence for violence! Toxic people avoid you when you are also toxic towards them as well.

When they bring their shit, you give them back, then they will leave you alone and move on to the next vulnerable victim.

Such crazy sets of people!

1. You were able to counter him because by luck or will I say deep introspection you cheated your feminine instinct and broke free in that area.

2. The truth of the matter is that women love toxic and narcissistic men. By choice of words they don't, but by their actions their pvssy drips for these men. Narcissistic men are emotional like women and women love these emotional rides because they dwell on feelings, their eyes become opened when it is getting dark, howbeit, late.

3. Women will friendzone nice guys and cheat on them for narcissistic men. All baby mamas have toxic/narcissistic baby daddies. (Op's brother has a baby mama with 2 kids...lol). Women will rather get duped by these men than commit to nice guys. This is a result of our maternal evolutionary instinct: toxic and narcissistic men appear dominant, and since women are the physically weaker sex, they run under the canopy of these men. It is not entirely their fault but an instinct that must be taken hold of and controlled.

4. Deep down within you, I know you still love that young man, if he had tried improving on himself you wouldn't have ended the relationship. And if he has changed you'll still have that romantic reservation for him within your heart...probably you had your best sex or your first sex with him coupled alongside the emotional road he took you through.

Wish you good luck and hope you can maintain and enhance your current position.

Thanks.

Moonshine101:

It's nice to see someone who relates with a nigh exact circumstance. Please if you don't mind me asking, how do you go about the bolded?

I got into fights with him twice and almost got him arrested the last time he fell out of line. He fears me for that though. But you're younger here, so you should just go the arrest route or just threaten to charge him to court. I noticed they're usually afraid of police more than anything, and I don't know why. I've never used the court option but I have that in mind and know it'd work.

Moonshine101:

You're right about him coming early in the marriage. As for my dad, he has shouted and shouted countless times but he's getting old and all this HBP and medical issues might have an effect on him.

Then your father should chase him and his babymama out of the house. This is a 35yr old man with two kids. He’s not a small boy at all again. It has gone from Omo ma pa mi to Omo ma pa ara e. That means from begging the child not to kill the parents with problems to telling the child not to let the same problems he’s creating kill him. As e don de move from petty crime to increased criminal activity.

You know early in marriage women go through a lot with adjustment and sometimes not so good spouses. So those kind of children go through a lot with their mother and see everything or even fight for their mother. Plus be her confidant and source of joy. She’s holding tight to old memories of him not seeing the monster he is gradually becoming.

OdefaGirl:


They are easily agitated when they see you more successful, especially when you think you can confront them....

Seriously they don't care abt ur success u won't understand all they care abt its the money infact the want mk u get more money so u can give them so they will buy crack nd if don't give them money they will find a way to get that money from u they want u to b successfully sef there problem its money

machine0808:
This is exactly the story in my family, mum always shielding my brother despite his stupid lifestyle, we have done almost everything for this my brother who is close to 50 years but he doesn't appreciate it. My dear this thing called family is so complicated. This set of people are always entitled and they think that no matter what you do for them, it is their right.

My brother, God help us o. Are you all living together? How do you cope?

baby124:

Then your father should chase him and his babymama out of the house. This is a 35yr old man with two kids. He’s not a small boy at all again. It has gone from Omo ma pa mi to Omo ma pa ara e. That means from begging the child not to kill the parents with problems to telling the child not to let the same problems he’s creating kill him. As e don de move from petty crime to increased criminal activity.

You know early in marriage women go through a lot with adjustment and sometimes not so good spouses. So those kind of children go through a lot with their mother and see everything or even fight for their mother. Plus be her confidant and source of joy. She’s holding tight to old memories of him not seeing the monster he is gradually becoming.

I pray u ve someone like dat man in ur family
U re suggesting they should chase him away or they should help someone need help u re there talking rubbish.

TechbI0gger:
shut up and fucck off my mentions religious slave that believes alien exists and kidnaps humans and requesting for ransom

But as a tech blogger and Nigerian religious guy....python is real and Jesus exists right?

You are a punk

Asquare84:
A university graduate typed this episode with alot of uncoordinated sentence.

I am dumbfounded, how did he write his project

Killerbag36:


I pray u ve someone like dat man in ur family
U re suggesting they should chase him away or they should help someone need help u re there talking rubbish.

Obviously you are like the OP’s brother because you talk like you are high on something. You think in my family we are nuisances like your family members? I pray you will be a source of pain and disaster to yourself and your family.

baby124:

Obviously you are like the OP’s brother because you talk like you are high on something. You think in my family we are nuisances like your family members? I pray you will be a source of pain and disaster to yourself and your family.

You don't know why I'm laffing at you
Mark my word wen its start happening in ur family
Please chase that brother or sister away ok
We go see.

Bad parenting caused this.

But thank goodness op that you didn't end up like your brother.

I pray you get a job and leave your parents' house but try your best to protect your parents from your brother even though they are nonchalant about your brother's doings. You owe them that.

RightToReject:


Cut the guy some slack. Your single sentence has two notable errors. A lot, not "alot" and sentences, not "sentence."

So, the correct version of your sentence should be: "A university graduate typed this episode with a lot of uncoordinated sentences."

The pot calling the kettle black.

Naso you finish person for here...

Killerbag36:


You don't know why I'm laffing at you
Mark my word wen its start happening in ur family
Please chase that brother or sister away ok
We go see.

Dear, get your mental illness checked out and get on medication. Also go to rehab. Stop coming online chatting shit from a crack house. Your family is already dealing with you. So, I am sure your wishes are all backfiring on them.

Moonshine101:
Hello Everyone!

I have a family issue but I don't have someone to speak to about it, so I'm very grateful for your inputs on this matter.

SOME BACKSTORY (You can skip this if you want):
I'm the youngest of my two siblings (26M). I have a sister and a brother. My sister's kinda okay. My brother (35) is a selfish, toxic and entitled person. He dropped out from the university, doesn't have a job and he steals from my parents like my dad's watches or property or my mum's jewellery and then sells them to buy weed or something.

One time he sold my mum's car and after some police and legal issue that basically went nowhere, she basically had to steal it back (The guy who bought it, passed away a little while after, so I guess that case is closed..), he once took my phone while I was sleeping because I refused to give him a different phone I had, that belongs to me after selling his own phone or something. It's like he acts solely on impulse. My dad (who's in his 70s now) is almost always on security alert when my brother is around. As for my mom, she just straight up enables him and bails him out of trouble every time, saying things like "He's your brother" or "God will change him" when I talk to her about it. My brother and I got into a fight, like a year before I left for university, because he wanted to look around my room to see if I had his usb cable despite me telling him I don't have it nor have I seen it. That was the last time I willingly spoke to him.

My family moved into a new house and I finally left for school (my brother stayed in the old house and my sister moved in with her husband after marriage, so it was just him over there). During my 3rd year, I called my dad, asking him for some money because I was broke, and during the phone call, my dad tells me that he's at the hospital cuz my brother and some girl just had a kid. okay.. I came back for holidays and found out that his baby mama (who's also toxic and insults people alot) and kid, my nephew, are staying with us, with my parents providing for them while my brother stays in the older house, renting it out to people (who messed up the house and compound to the point it just became a disgusting place to live in) obviously without permission from my parents (who don't even own that house, it belongs to my uncle). By the time I graduated and came back home, he was now living with us in the new house because free food and no bills, I guess.

I haven't gotten a job yet so I'm stuck here.

Recently, he's been staying away from me because I don't talk to him or even look at him.

BACK TO THE TOPIC:
Around a year ago, I had a serious wakeup call and decided that, if I was going to go forward in life I would have to better myself so I began a journey of meditation and self-improvement, and I think I've made some good progress. Now the issue is my brother---earlier today, I saw him scouting our house (after my parents went out) and I could instantly tell he was up to no good. I was cooking when I began to hear some noise from upstairs like he was hacking at something. He came downstairs and readied his car while my cousin who stays with us (19) carried the AC unit my brother was planning to sell.
Usually I'll just mind my business and avoid him because he's an adult-child (narcissist) and I think he'll just put his vindictive sights on me if I interfere, but this time I don't know what came over me..

I called my cousin and demanded where he was taking that AC to. I then asked my brother (first time in years I've spoken to him) why he was taking it, he just gave one nonsense flimsy excuse then I told my cousin to return it. When he tried to explain whatever, I didn't acknowledge his presence, I just ignored him and ate my food. He just stood there staring at me for like 3 minutes before he left while murmuring something.

The main reason I've been avoiding him for long is because he's toxic and I decided that family or not, toxicity is still toxicity. He's very exploitative and once he familiarises with someone it's like an opening to trample the person's boundaries. I think I confronted him today because the more you ignore bad/evil the stronger it becomes and eventually it will come for you except now it'll be stronger from all the experience.

The issue is, I don't want to relapse into my old life of toxicity by further engaging him if he decides to steal from me on get physical because he's the kind of person that only listens to actions, not words.
Please, what do you think I do?

With my experience your brother is into class A drugs. He needs help from you people, ask your family to take him to rehab otherwise he put that house for sale one day

baby124:

Dear, get your mental illness checked out and get on medication. Also go to rehab. Stop coming online chatting shit from a crack house. Your family is already dealing with you. So, I am sure your wishes are all backfiring on them.

Bri im a doctor ooo
I do ck also I've money oo
So wen I say I've seen the symptoms I know ok
Nd the painful part its in all family its called schizophrenia nd if probably not managed its turn to madness
So if u say they should chase him out of his house cus of this then means curse be on to u nd ur house hold wen the clinical manifestation start shoeing in ur house hold please ensure u chase ur brother away or ur sister nd stop advising the op wrongly Street urchin like u.

Asquare84:
A university graduate typed this episode with alot of uncoordinated sentence.

In fact, I don't op passed through school. Garbage in, garbage out.

I'm sure, he is not who he claim to be- a graduate. Too bad.

Moonshine101:
Hello Everyone!

I have a family issue but I don't have someone to speak to about it, so I'm very grateful for your inputs on this matter.

SOME BACKSTORY (You can skip this if you want):
I'm the youngest of my two siblings (26M). I have a sister and a brother. My sister's kinda okay. My brother (35) is a selfish, toxic and entitled person. He dropped out from the university, doesn't have a job and he steals from my parents like my dad's watches or property or my mum's jewellery and then sells them to buy weed or something.

One time he sold my mum's car and after some police and legal issue that basically went nowhere, she basically had to steal it back (The guy who bought it, passed away a little while after, so I guess that case is closed..), he once took my phone while I was sleeping because I refused to give him a different phone I had, that belongs to me after selling his own phone or something. It's like he acts solely on impulse. My dad (who's in his 70s now) is almost always on security alert when my brother is around. As for my mom, she just straight up enables him and bails him out of trouble every time, saying things like "He's your brother" or "God will change him" when I talk to her about it. My brother and I got into a fight, like a year before I left for university, because he wanted to look around my room to see if I had his usb cable despite me telling him I don't have it nor have I seen it. That was the last time I willingly spoke to him.

My family moved into a new house and I finally left for school (my brother stayed in the old house and my sister moved in with her husband after marriage, so it was just him over there). During my 3rd year, I called my dad, asking him for some money because I was broke, and during the phone call, my dad tells me that he's at the hospital cuz my brother and some girl just had a kid. okay.. I came back for holidays and found out that his baby mama (who's also toxic and insults people alot) and kid, my nephew, are staying with us, with my parents providing for them while my brother stays in the older house, renting it out to people (who messed up the house and compound to the point it just became a disgusting place to live in) obviously without permission from my parents (who don't even own that house, it belongs to my uncle). By the time I graduated and came back home, he was now living with us in the new house because free food and no bills, I guess.

I haven't gotten a job yet so I'm stuck here.

Recently, he's been staying away from me because I don't talk to him or even look at him.

BACK TO THE TOPIC:
Around a year ago, I had a serious wakeup call and decided that, if I was going to go forward in life I would have to better myself so I began a journey of meditation and self-improvement, and I think I've made some good progress. Now the issue is my brother---earlier today, I saw him scouting our house (after my parents went out) and I could instantly tell he was up to no good. I was cooking when I began to hear some noise from upstairs like he was hacking at something. He came downstairs and readied his car while my cousin who stays with us (19) carried the AC unit my brother was planning to sell.
Usually I'll just mind my business and avoid him because he's an adult-child (narcissist) and I think he'll just put his vindictive sights on me if I interfere, but this time I don't know what came over me..

I called my cousin and demanded where he was taking that AC to. I then asked my brother (first time in years I've spoken to him) why he was taking it, he just gave one nonsense flimsy excuse then I told my cousin to return it. When he tried to explain whatever, I didn't acknowledge his presence, I just ignored him and ate my food. He just stood there staring at me for like 3 minutes before he left while murmuring something.

The main reason I've been avoiding him for long is because he's toxic and I decided that family or not, toxicity is still toxicity. He's very exploitative and once he familiarises with someone it's like an opening to trample the person's boundaries. I think I confronted him today because the more you ignore bad/evil the stronger it becomes and eventually it will come for you except now it'll be stronger from all the experience.

The issue is, I don't want to relapse into my old life of toxicity by further engaging him if he decides to steal from me on get physical because he's the kind of person that only listens to actions, not words.
Please, what do you think I do?

Your brother is a drug addict! He has an addiction problem. He needs rehabilitation and if not, soon all of you will be in trouble. Big one

Moonshine101:
Hello Everyone!

I have a family issue but I don't have someone to speak to about it, so I'm very grateful for your inputs on this matter.

SOME BACKSTORY (You can skip this if you want):
I'm the youngest of my two siblings (26M). I have a sister and a brother. My sister's kinda okay. My brother (35) is a selfish, toxic and entitled person. He dropped out from the university, doesn't have a job and he steals from my parents like my dad's watches or property or my mum's jewellery and then sells them to buy weed or something.

One time he sold my mum's car and after some police and legal issue that basically went nowhere, she basically had to steal it back (The guy who bought it, passed away a little while after, so I guess that case is closed..), he once took my phone while I was sleeping because I refused to give him a different phone I had, that belongs to me after selling his own phone or something. It's like he acts solely on impulse. My dad (who's in his 70s now) is almost always on security alert when my brother is around. As for my mom, she just straight up enables him and bails him out of trouble every time, saying things like "He's your brother" or "God will change him" when I talk to her about it. My brother and I got into a fight, like a year before I left for university, because he wanted to look around my room to see if I had his usb cable despite me telling him I don't have it nor have I seen it. That was the last time I willingly spoke to him.

My family moved into a new house and I finally left for school (my brother stayed in the old house and my sister moved in with her husband after marriage, so it was just him over there). During my 3rd year, I called my dad, asking him for some money because I was broke, and during the phone call, my dad tells me that he's at the hospital cuz my brother and some girl just had a kid. okay.. I came back for holidays and found out that his baby mama (who's also toxic and insults people alot) and kid, my nephew, are staying with us, with my parents providing for them while my brother stays in the older house, renting it out to people (who messed up the house and compound to the point it just became a disgusting place to live in) obviously without permission from my parents (who don't even own that house, it belongs to my uncle). By the time I graduated and came back home, he was now living with us in the new house because free food and no bills, I guess.

I haven't gotten a job yet so I'm stuck here.

Recently, he's been staying away from me because I don't talk to him or even look at him.

BACK TO THE TOPIC:
Around a year ago, I had a serious wakeup call and decided that, if I was going to go forward in life I would have to better myself so I began a journey of meditation and self-improvement, and I think I've made some good progress. Now the issue is my brother---earlier today, I saw him scouting our house (after my parents went out) and I could instantly tell he was up to no good. I was cooking when I began to hear some noise from upstairs like he was hacking at something. He came downstairs and readied his car while my cousin who stays with us (19) carried the AC unit my brother was planning to sell.
Usually I'll just mind my business and avoid him because he's an adult-child (narcissist) and I think he'll just put his vindictive sights on me if I interfere, but this time I don't know what came over me..

I called my cousin and demanded where he was taking that AC to. I then asked my brother (first time in years I've spoken to him) why he was taking it, he just gave one nonsense flimsy excuse then I told my cousin to return it. When he tried to explain whatever, I didn't acknowledge his presence, I just ignored him and ate my food. He just stood there staring at me for like 3 minutes before he left while murmuring something.

The main reason I've been avoiding him for long is because he's toxic and I decided that family or not, toxicity is still toxicity. He's very exploitative and once he familiarises with someone it's like an opening to trample the person's boundaries. I think I confronted him today because the more you ignore bad/evil the stronger it becomes and eventually it will come for you except now it'll be stronger from all the experience.

The issue is, I don't want to relapse into my old life of toxicity by further engaging him if he decides to steal from me on get physical because he's the kind of person that only listens to actions, not words.
Please, what do you think I do?

I'm so sorry for your pains cause I know someone like that too.
It's actually not really what you can you but what your parent should do.

If your parent are retired the better. Let them relocate to ANOTHER state, rent a 2 bedroom flat for themselves for the next 2 or 3 years.

The house your parent live and the old one should be put up for rent through a lawyer!

Your parent should rent a small room for him and stock him with food and small allowance to last just 6months.

Once they relocate, they should change their phone numbers and remain incommunicado especially to him.

During this time, he would have to learn to fend for himself or get locked up in the prison. Your mum can break this if she gets too emotional.

Only when he chooses to be free from the demons afflicting him can any deliverance prayer work on him. If you check carefully, there must be an uncle or aunty in you family who is like that too.

Your parents enabled him and they are suffering that consequences.

My advice to you is to leave that place of totally and get your place if you can afford it.

You see, people around us have a way of influencing how we behave, unconsciously.

You just discover you are doing something that you learnt from someone.

He's an adult there's nothing you guys can do even he's enabler your mom is still cannot tell him the truth. So for your own sanity may God bless you to have your own place of peace. Peace with a narcissist it is impossible. I have a junior brother also a narcissist when I'm dealing with the rest of the family I don't involve him they're useless they feel entitled, rude to anybody just to hurt their feelings. I have said I don't want any negative energy around me.

Killerbag36:


Bri im a doctor ooo
I do ck also I've money oo
So wen I say I've seen the symptoms I know ok
Nd the painful part its in all family its called schizophrenia nd if probably not managed its turn to madness
So if u say they should chase him out of his house cus of this then means curse be on to u nd ur house hold wen the clinical manifestation start shoeing in ur house hold please ensure u chase ur brother away or ur sister nd stop advising the op wrongly Street urchin like u.

Doctor can also be mentally ill. You are a nobody and a nuisance like the OP’s brother. I am sure the OP’s brother too will come online and claim he’s an astronaut. Nobody in their right senses chat rubbish like you. I am damn sure you know a lot about Schizophrenia. You better go and seek help because you need it. You are already cursed and so are your children and all your family members. See this delusional nuisance o. Ashiere

He's on drugs, not only smoke