I can’t believe it’s already 5 years since this thread. This year makes it 30 years I’ve been married. I said we would continue the thread another time. That time is now. As before, this thread is addressed to my fellow men and won’t work for everybody. Thread…

1. Her phone charger will go bad before yours. Nobody knows why this happens. It is one of the world’s great mysteries. If you use the same type of phone, buy a new charger cable every week. Don’t be petty and use a tape to mark your charger. You are no longer in boarding school.�

2. Remember that it is your duty to charge the power banks. She will take anyone that is fully charged, so you might as well charge all. She does many things for you. Charging the power banks is the least you can do. Also, make sure you change them every couple of years or so.

3. When she lends you money, she will remind you 100 times before the due date that repayment is due soon. Just smile about it. Any money she lends you registers in her mind as if she GAVE it to you as a gift. That you paid it back doesn’t register at all. Don’t let that annoy you.

4. Some men have joint accounts with their partners but it’s wise to have some separate money that you don’t have to explain how you spend. There are some demands on you as a man from your extended family that you can’t always justify to her but that you need to do to keep her safe.

https://twitter.com/DrJoeAbah/status/1549446505429344257?t=zcv7NXb9q7o6NEYRexO2Hw&s=19

5. When she’s in the kitchen, keep her company, gist with her but also make yourself useful. Cutting onions or peeling maggi cubes makes you involved in good way. It would be good if you have a special dish that she looks forward to. Mine was stew but I haven’t done it in ages.

6. If it is just both of you (no children or domestic help) it is your responsibility to do the dishes after a meal she has cooked. She may protest but you should insist. Washing plates is actually quite therapeutic. It also a role reversal: you in the kitchen, she gisting with you.

7. Women’s clothes tend not to have pockets like men’s. So, her phone will often be in her bag or wherever she last used it. If you want to be able to reach her all the time, buy her a smart watch that will vibrate on her wrist.

8. You may spend a lot of money on a smart watch, like an Apple Watch, and she still won’t wear it. You need to give her a health-related reason to wear it all the time. Women take their health much more seriously than us men. “Darling, it will even monitor you pulse & heartbeat.”�

9. When you are out with her and friends, try not to talk too much. At the same time, don’t be cold and boring. Don’t yarn what you don’t know. Don’t name-drop. Let it be others that talk about how connected you are. Be gracious, smile a lot and exude confidence.

10. At a party with her, don’t drink too much and make a fool of yourself. Be funny in a self-deprecating way. Women like men that can laugh at their own selves & that are not afraid to show they are not perfect. But don’t start to display like a clown…unless you are paid to do so.

11. Whatever you do, don’t ever make your woman feel insecure. Using another woman to make her feel jealous is immature and daft. Don’t. Instead, tell her you’ll always be with her. No divorce. No separation. Ever. Whatever else she worries about, she shouldn’t worry about that one.

12. Any engine that you don’t service regularly will give you trouble. Make sure you change her oil often. She will run smoothly and will not give you trouble often. Remember that I it is your job to arrange an oil change often. Don’t wait until you see ‘check engine’ lights. �

13. You and I know that we, men, are not good alone. When she’s not in town, throw yourself into work, spend more time on Twitter, read that book you’ve been meaning to read and go on Netflix. Stay away from temptation. It has a way of looking for you when your madam is not around.

14. Finally, some of these things are aspirational even for me. For instance, I won’t be buying her that Apple Watch until next month. Okay. That’s enough for now. Let’s continue another time. Hopefully, it won’t take another 5 years before we do so. Good luck. ✌�

Hmmm lol
Some of you men are funny for real
You don't believe you deserve good things but you sha have to slave for you to be a real man.
Na why I like women,they sabi how to make you treat them well and enjoy life .

Buy charger every week because she's going to spoil her charger?
Charge the powerbanks because she will just come and use anyone when she needs it?
Does that even look sane to you? When mama spoil charger 2 times,she will start buying her own.
When you use up the battery of the power bank,why won't you charge it? Na mumu thing be that.
Helping out in the kitchen is cool actually, you talk and bond more self unless she does not approve.
Helping out around the house is sane also,they don't have to tell you that one.
With all the epistles written above, a man is to do this and do that,what should the woman do for the man?
No gift for the man,nothing to make his own life easy from the wife ba? Oh! I forgot,as a man slave for the family and make sure your wife is happy or else you're not a real man .
God punish the society definition of a real man.

Dj! Plenty kegs of palmwine for me and other people interested
Barman! Play me "Manipulated Man" by Joseph Yobo and Kim Kardashian.

I just don't see myself getting married. Will never happen.

Marriage is for people who don't find joy and happiness in their own being.

.

Magnoliaa:
Number 11 is gold for me. And 12 is hella funny...

A great insightful and humorous list all round. I enjoyed it.

Watch those who never even marry pick holes in what a man married for 30 years has said. Dem full this forum

Make I read and learn lessons...

Ishilove:

Watch those who never even marry pick holes in what a man married for 30 years has said. Dem full this forum

But you know that no. 1 can be annoying,to me if your charger spoil twice before my own 1, you are as good as OYO.

It's okay to let women also know that circumstances will not permit their hubby to do some of the things listed, above all, all humans have their unique characteristics, so also all families are unique in their own way and what works for couple A night not work for couple B.

cayorday89:
It's okay to let women also know that circumstances will not permit their hubby to do some of the things listed, above all, all humans have their unique characteristics, so also all families are unique in their own way and what works for couple A night not work for couple B.

It's okay to let women know?

Why do you think 'women' do not already know? You think he actually MEANT those things like for real and he is saying them as a set-in-stone thing that must be followed ALWAYS? It's just the same way people say women like to wear their men's clothes or that men like to 'steal' fried meat from a bowl whenever the woman is cooking... playful, naughty things couples do to each other that are not deep. That up there certainly isn't an indulgence of women in any way. Even the man said he hasn't done the watch part for her...and that the tips aren't for everybody too.

This is not for you but I'll bet the alpha boys complaining would not see the part where the man said, outside of a joint account, have your own separate money, especially for your relatives and some inevitable spendings that you do not have to justify to your wife, and he also mentioned that she cooks and to not give yourself to temptation. We only know what he decided to tell us, not what he didn't say (and many things his wife does that he's oblivious to)...and quite frankly I appreciate as it is coming from a man especially to guys - it's a breath of fresh air for a start, and all he has given us is all we have. The particular points up there, and not some whataboutism or preaching to women or unnecessary details that might lead to disrespect (some have started calling him a simp sef).

Ishilove:

Watch those who never even marry pick holes in what a man married for 30 years has said. Dem full this forum

Shey they've started na. I just had to jump and pass their comments; I don too cause wahala these past days. See that one saying marriage is for people who don't find joy and happiness in themselves. Mtcheeewww.

Joe 'Goebbels' Abah the slimy government rat

More grease to him all over

DontBullshitMe:
I just don't see myself getting married. Will never happen.

Marriage is for people who don't find join and happiness in their own being.

I agree with you sir. Marriage is a scam. As a man what better way to spend the old days than alone and miserable with no wife to tend to one and a string a bastards strewn around.

Magnoliaa:


It's okay to let women know?

Why do you think 'women' do not already know? You think he actually MEANT those things like for real and he is saying them as a set-in-stone thing that must be followed ALWAYS? It's just the same way people say women like to wear their men's clothes or that men like to 'steal' fried meat from a bowl whenever the woman is cooking... playful, naughty things couples do to each other that are not deep. That up there certainly isn't an indulgence of women in any way. Even the man said he hasn't done the watch part for her...and that the tips aren't for everybody too.

This is not for you but I'll bet the alpha boys complaining would not see the part where the man said, outside of a joint account, have your own separate money, especially for your relatives and some inevitable spendings that you do not have to justify to your wife, and he also mentioned that she cooks and to not give yourself to temptation. We only know what he decided to tell us, not what he didn't say (and many things his wife does that he's oblivious to)...and quite frankly I appreciate as it is coming from a man especially to guys - it's a breath of fresh air for a start, and all he has given us is all we have. The particular points up there, and not some whataboutism or preaching to women or unnecessary details that might lead to disrespect (some have started calling him a simp sef).

I totally get your point of view, my comment is addressed to some women who will take it as a must do even if their husband is not lacking in many areas not addressed and asked for all this and more, not minding the circumstances and factors in play.

As for those calling him a simp, they fail to realize the reality in that man doing his best and having that peace of mind which is key as long as money is no longer a problem for him.

Interesting

No matter what u say, some people will still prefer baby mama because time has changed and these bitches ain't loyal... especially this generation that their ringing tone is harder harder... before u know what's going on, guyman go just kpai ontop kpekus and the NEWS HEADLINE will be DIED in ACTIVE service..

Jeo dey celebrate marriage why Bamidele is to be buried because of the same Marriage.









Guys wey no get girlfriend get peace of mind

Na only two Husband material remain for Nigeria.
God willing, I will have one. Goodluck looking for the other one, my ladies.

Abeg!!!

DontBullshitMe:
I just don't see myself getting married. Will never happen.

Marriage is for people who don't find join and happiness in their own being.

agba professor... weldone sir

Funny People
I too know, oblivious, obnoxious Dunderheads

The advice is strange

This is the way i see the advice

Men shouuld be clowns because women are babies that needs a clown to make her happy.

Reading

JackDaAlienz:
Looks like An Encyclopedia For Simps

I agree

Though you try man.
Marriage no easy.

But forget your tips, maybe it can only be applicable to some anyway.

But there's no manual for this life, not to talk of marriage.
Even country constitution self no guide people
Na who survive be victor

Quite insightful...






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