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I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible - Family (14) - Nairaland

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Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nobody: 10:23am On Jul 31, 2022
BloomingDale:


Oga, she can give you the man’s address so you can go look after the child. This one that you are so passionate about the issue, maybe God is telling you to go look for the child and take care of her.
I pray u see beyond ur nose

3 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Pymetrics: 10:24am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.
Based on your response to other comments, I sense that the love and affection you have for your husband is not strong. Because within the space of one week of this child arrival, you've already concluded on leaving. Where is the love and affection you show for each other before marriage? Is it easy to discard highly love one within one week? Please check yourself very well. Also assess your hasty decision on a long term plan for you and your child.

As for the disabled child, I'm sorry for her. May Allah ease her condition. However, the mother of that child may purposely drop the child because the man is not giving then upkeep or paying attention to them. It may even be a strategy to drive you out of the house which is working to her plan now. Because such woman may be angry seeing her supposed husband marrying another woman and leaving her with a disabled child.
Recommendation :
-Stay in your husband house while working with him on where to take the child to or how to get fund for a nanny. Set a target of two months for this while you keep enduring.
- Call your husband's family attention to this situation before you leave that house. Some elders within the family may have better Suggestions to resolve the issue.
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Akalia(m): 10:24am On Jul 31, 2022
Nozino:



Ogun will kee you for trying to shame this innocent woman, who is the victim in all of this for wanting to leave her marriage.

If the revise was the case, would the man accept a special needs child into his home? Would he bath and clean another man’s child when she messes her self up?

This lady has absolutely no duty to the child. Let the child’s parents and grandparents take care of the child. Nonsense
You are overreacting. I am entitled to my opinion.
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nozino: 10:24am On Jul 31, 2022
jimter44:
I guess you are a Christian. The bible says if the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do? Ps 11:3. You built your marriage on a faulty foundation. You married two months ago, but with 7 months pregnancy. It's abomination to the christiandom. Go back to Jesus, he will show you a way out.


You’re a mad man.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nozino: 10:25am On Jul 31, 2022
Davidoff2000:
hmmmm...this your pregnancy so..how are you sure it will not be a deformed child too? Another case of cerebral palsy? Do you know if it runs in his genes? thats what you should be more concerned about. before you divorce, give birth and get stuck with a child with medical conditions you cant take care of alone, because you left and he wont have you back




All your children will have cerebral palsy and not OP’s unborn child(ren).

6 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Sweetvie: 10:25am On Jul 31, 2022
Lol... I have been going through the comment and I must say the way some people reason ehn I don't just understand. A deceit marriage is a no no for me. Some guys are even talking about love so u guys want to tell me u alws lie to someone u claim u love? Lemme leave the lie part sef
Do you guys know what celebral palsy is? Una think say na child play? Some guys here are just so stupid with there comment. Y don't u guys put ur sister in her place a heavily pregnant woman for that matter and u guys expect her to be taking care of a child 24/7. A child that even the husband sister doesn't want to take care. Well I won't blame u guys coz most of u don't know how it feel to be pregnant u all just think it all about carrying the baby in womb. Av u guys think of when she give birth? Is she going to leave the hospital bed to take care of the kid?. Maybe u guys don't know as a pregnant woman heavily pregnant woman on that are not suppose to stress, it wat u feel that the baby in the womb going to feel... Physically, emotionally and mentally then later if something happens to the baby in the womb they will blame the woman. Apart from being pregnant sef u think any lady will leave there job and care for a child that is not hers 24/7 when husband is only making 15k. But wait o how did you guys cope on 15k salary coz I don't understand... How did u buy baby stuff on 15k and still eat? Well, all is well.
Don't leave ur marriage i won't advice u to do that... Just give ur self a space and try to cheer up for the baby. Most people talking about for better for worst here if anything happens to the lady now they will say when she know she can't cope y can't she leave. Don't listen to anyone including myself. Your life is in ur hand no one can tell you how to live it smiley

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by GindoX(m): 10:26am On Jul 31, 2022
JONNYSPUTE:
..... I love your reply. Well the truth is that it's not going to be easy for you and if you feel you can't,then leave. Nobody will blame you for doing such. Let him carry his cross.

Let him carry his cross? I thought marriage na for better for worse.... That's the worse of him not telling her naaw..
Abeg face it biko...

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by kollinz1234(m): 10:27am On Jul 31, 2022
delishpot:


Yes. Asking her to leave a union built on lies is better than asking her to live a life of burden fuelled by your cursing an unborn baby bacause you dont like the mother's choice. Only a very dark hearted person will indirectly curse an unborn baby tufiakwa. The church is evil no wonder Jesus said judgement will start from there. My life is what your ancestors dreamed about but have not achieved even in your generation. I NEVER said you should share my opinion that is how you evil people always grab at straws to justify your wickedness. You have killed and done worse evil in your lifetime compared to her choice of leaving a marriage due to lies. Yet no one has threatened your unborn children.
Solution is simple, since you are so godly take the child and reap the reward you so want her to reap. Or did your bible tell you not to do good to those you aren't related by blood with? Teach this woman going astary by your judgement a lesson by example. I am sure she wouldn't mind.
OP, YOU WILL DELIVER A HEALTHY BABY AND DO IT SAFELY.
your mind is so dark and ugly and that is the state of your existence. Go and read what I said and point out where I cursed any child. It is this your kind of stupid message that makes marriages no longer lasts. Divorce everywhere etc. Your judgement will come. Keep breaking marriages with your heresy. With all the problems in your life, have you been able to run away from any of them? Don't you face them as best you can? Why then are you advising another to run from hers if you are not evil??

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nobody: 10:27am On Jul 31, 2022
folks4luv:

Just shut up. Intially you sounded judgemental, like you are perfect, but now you are sounding stupid. A person was lied to but it was her fault for not asking if the man has a child. Like, that is just plain dumb and cruel.
You were not with her in the relationship, you don't even know her but you are playing the omnisincent who knows all things.
Just shup up and be humane for 1 min.

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by LotaTee: 10:27am On Jul 31, 2022
Ginaz:


My guy. Pls hide your head in shame! See the manipulative bullshiit you wrote for a woman who is heavily pregnant, whose world is turned upside down with a heavy responsibility placed on her shoulders with no assistance to help her cope. No mental treatment , no monetary assistance, no nothing provided.

Even God doesn’t place burdens on his creatures! Every assignments God will always provide assistance.

You are a wicked being . It’s people like you I run away from cos the way you think it’s so bad.
I'm shocked or did I read the original post differently? Like her husband's baby mama just sprung the child on her, out of the blues and she's expected to just 'adjust'? Specials needs for that matter.

6 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nozino: 10:28am On Jul 31, 2022
CSTRR:

Connect to this program today.

You are a Christian, I believe.

If nothing change, you are absolutely entitled to leave.

But try God first.

Today is the last day.


Why? Is she the mother? Is she the father? Are the parents handicapped? The parents should sort out their child.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by HoneySwag(f): 10:28am On Jul 31, 2022
You're married for just 2 months, and pregnant for 7 months, looks like you trapped him with pregnancy.
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Teymanhenry(f): 10:28am On Jul 31, 2022
You' said you are sticking to your decision, it means you've made up your mind. I won't advise you to either stay or leave but one thing is certain. If you leave for the village another woman will come and takeover and probably take care of the disable child
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nozino: 10:29am On Jul 31, 2022
Ten06:
Marriage is for better for worse, stay. If you persevere you will reap the benefits of that marriage. The children you will give birth to in the marriage will be very great people in the society


All your sisters and daughters will experience such marriages. So they too can persevere.

5 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by H0711(f): 10:29am On Jul 31, 2022
HoneySwag:
You're married for just 2 months, and pregnant for 7 months, looks like you trapped him with pregnancy.


I trapped him with the pregnancy with his 15k salary who does that ?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by zedegit: 10:30am On Jul 31, 2022
Blessedmercy8:
This is what happens when you put the cart before the horse. When you ought to do your findings about who you're getting married to, you were busy consumating sex, getting yourself pregnant and rushing into marriage without proper background checks. Now you want to opt out just like that.

you think marriage is child's play? Or something you can just throw in the trash when the odds are against you? Think again cos this right here is the real marriage. So you have to accept and deal with it.

Oh... You want the man but you don't want his child?
What if it was you who gave birth to the child? Forget about how the mother is not willing to take her therefore you can't keep her excuse you're giving. The father didn't marry her but you. Maybe if he did, she won't abandon the child, so you who won the man should accept his totality.

Do you know what the one you're carrying will turn out to be?

Majority of you marry these days for the benefits. If nothing is in it for you, then you leave. You can't sacrifice and if they ask you now, you'll say you love the man. Mtcheeeeeewwwww..

I wish the roles were reversed so that you can chew what you just vomited.

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nozino: 10:30am On Jul 31, 2022
In fact, I’m starting the page from page one and giving all this lunatics a piece of my mind. Una dy mad.

3 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nozino: 10:31am On Jul 31, 2022
Akalia:
You are overreacting. I am entitled to my opinion.


Your opinion will kee you.

4 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by H0711(f): 10:31am On Jul 31, 2022
Teymanhenry:
You' said you are sticking to your decision, it means you've made up your mind. I won't advise you to either stay or leave but one thing is certain. If you leave for the village another woman will come and takeover and probably take care of the disable child

That will be great . I wish the woman all the best in advance

5 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by LotaTee: 10:32am On Jul 31, 2022
Nozino:
In fact, I’m starting the page from page one and giving all this lunatics a piece of my mind. Una dy mad.
. grin grin grin grin grin The thing shock me too.

5 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Reference(m): 10:32am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:


Yes I have made up my mind because it has not been easy for me because i take care of her everyday from morning until hubby get home at 7-8pm . It's been a week only and my head want to explode and my body want to give up. I am tired and the level of stress is too much for me in this my condition I need rest not all of this burden . I can't do it anymore. I am not leaving him because of his poor condition it is because I can't take care of his special need child , his financial state hasn't been a problem to me because no condition is permanent I know one day everything will be fine but i can't take care of his special need child in this my condition.

One thing I have noticed so far is that as a person you seem not to have support structures of your own to help during this phase even without this 'incident'.
At 7 months most women, mothers to be will have their relations in, out and about.
Why are you by yourself.
Surely that village you go to will have someone to assist at home for a while, except by choice.
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by greatness77: 10:32am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:




Thank you . Right now he can't afford that 200k monthly , his younger sister has refused to come and help taking care of the child. Me too I can't kill myself in my condition and I will leave next month.
hahaha you can't kill yourself grin grin wife material
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by zedegit: 10:33am On Jul 31, 2022
pointblank247:
You should leave that marriage because the man was too economical with the truth, but if he eventually finds a solution like a maid that can handle the matter, then you should consider staying

Will you pay for the services of the maid?

1 Like

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nozino: 10:33am On Jul 31, 2022
HRHQueenPhil:


I can't imagine what u are going through
This is very wicked of the man
I wld advise u don't leave ur marriage
Every marriage has test and this is one of it
Two solutions
-get a good maid that can assist with looking after the child
- u can start a business that helps u support ur man and leave d house so u won't constantly be in pain
Remember to lift the child up in prayers and fasting so it shall be well with u as well


You’re very crazy. Why are you advising an innocent party instead of the child’s parent?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nozino: 10:33am On Jul 31, 2022
portplus:
work with him to get help for the child.
You need your space...besides he did not tell you before now.


You should go and help him do the work. He leaves in Abuja. Do you want his number?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by onlinestaff2020: 10:34am On Jul 31, 2022
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

It's my turn to give an objective advice as a parent of more than a decade.

It's so obvious that the op is quite distressed and upset by the unexpected development in her home...Don't blame her because that's what most women are wired to act when faced with this type of shit in real-life context.

Anyway, the following are the best way outta the dilemma:

1. Sit with your husband at a good time when he's back from work and talk maturely to him that he should be raising some amount to pay in a welfare home to take care of the girl and you are going to support him by 50% financially because it's not easy as a father to take care of the home, especially in this godforsaken Buhari regime.

2. You may also follow the same pathway of advising him to hire a maid to take full charge of the girl and automatically the maid will be taking care of other domestic needs and that will even reduce your domestic chores at home...You are going to have a stress free home with this...In addition, tell him you will support by 50% financially in the event that he does not have enough...Don't forget that the house maid's salary shouldn't exceed N30,000...Make sure he does a comprehensive background check on her.

3. Thirdly, you may suggest to your husband that he should go back to the mother of his daughter in the presence of his family and hers and discuss a way out (settlement of some sorts)by promising to increase the welfare of both the mother and daughter without relenting...Don't forget that you will support him just like in advise 1 and 2 above.

Those are the three major ways above that are objectively reasonable to move forward in this marriage so that you can a decent peace of mind in your home...Don't worry that your husband did not inform you that he had a daughter previously...These things do happen even to the most perfect marriage...The bottom line here is that your husband loves you a great deal and doesn't really want to lose you initially and you love him too, that's why both of you got married, pronto!

Op, if you decide to take the subjective way because of the recent happenings in your marriage, no problem...Let me state the future occurrence that will befall you.

1. If you leave your marriage, you are not actually going to have rest of mind because you have already been affected spiritually...Look at it this way, that cerebral palsy of a daughter's condition is going to haunt you for the rest of your life in many ways untold that I cannot mention here but it will definitely happen to you...You can bet on that!

2. God is going to frown at you because you chickened outta of the situation because you were inconsiderate to the situation whereby you would have continued to show maturity and understanding to the little girl even though she's not your daughter...Don't forget that you may even have a son/daughter like her soon.

Anyway, I'm tired of typing...You can reach me by typing your responses.

Last line, MARRIAGE IS NEVER A BED OF ROSES...Marriage is like Mathematics whereby you need to look for different strategies to solve a given problem and arrive at the solution.

Cheers!
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by Nozino: 10:35am On Jul 31, 2022
Richy4:

Where is the real mother of the baby OP.. do you have an idea?

If u do, maybe u can pay her a visit to guilt-trip her for abandoning her kid.. I didn't say it's the right thing to do,But it's like your last hail Mary pass..

The husband should have told you from the beginning though... not just surprise you with a big responsibility...

Finally do U know if Nigerian government takes care of people/ individuals with such problems?


Why should she do anything least of all confront someone she has no business with? Go and give your sisters this advice.

3 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by eyinjuege: 10:35am On Jul 31, 2022
cococandy:
Was just thinking the same thing.
When she leaves and it’s just him and the girl in the house. She may not wake up one day.


I'm telling you.
Some parents are dangerous.
Even able bodied children are being murdered for rituals.
Some are killed so the parent won't have to pay child support.
Some kill their children, so they can move on with a new lover (that will still abandon rhem)

3 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by pappilo(m): 10:35am On Jul 31, 2022
H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

I totally agree with you about not wanting to put up with taking care of a severely disabled child that requires 24 hour care.

Dont divorce him (yet). Go back to your parents till you have your child. If he makes alternative arrangements for the disabled child then you can consider getting back with him if you still trust him. Hiding a child from your girlfriend then wife is a big red flag.

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by H0711(f): 10:37am On Jul 31, 2022
Reference:


One thing I have noticed so far is that as a person you seem not to have support structures of your own to help during this phase even without this 'incident'.
At 7 months most women, mothers to be will have their relations in, out and about.
Why are you by yourself.
Surely that village you go to will have someone to assist at home for a while, except by choice.


I am not alone. my elder brother and wife leave in abuja too , right now I am at their house and in the village I will receive more support from my parents and other relatives

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by CSTRR: 10:38am On Jul 31, 2022
Nozino:



Why? Is she the mother? Is she the father? Are the parents handicapped? The parents should sort out their child.
God can use anybody.
That is her step child

She is in a unique position to be used by God for that child.

That doesn't change the fact that she can leave if she wants to.
Re: I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible by BloomingDale(f): 10:40am On Jul 31, 2022
killmods:

I pray u see beyond ur nose

God works in mysterious ways. You just might be the solution. Think about it.

4 Likes

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