Nozino:


You that is already dead? How can the dead curse the living? Go and buy your coffin.

Your mother was a prostitute and you take after her footstep. Your family will die. Anuofia

You are right but blv me when we have headache, does cutting off the head from the neck the solution? The man can simply ask his own mom to come and look after the child and it would be an agreement btw the wife and husband....I think u understand my point too

Ndidi2:
That she wasn't aware of the baby before marriage is even d worse.

H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

Anybody advising you not to quit do not have idea of the situation you are in. Taking care of a cerebral palsy child is a whole lot of burden. Your decision to leave is in order.

generalwo:
..... I don't need your money sir / ma... Tell the OP to drop the man's number and I will assist him take care of the kid in my own little way.... U can keep your money or send it where it's needed... Thanks

You can DM OP with your offer. I feel strongly for the child too. If you can, please do. She needs all the help she can get.

Nozino:


You that is already dead? How can the dead curse the living? Go and buy your coffin.

May you never see any good thing in life before you die young

UjuJoan2:


How old is this girl? I find it difficult to believe that taking care of her is as tiresome as you’ve been describing.

I understand that you have been taken unawares and your husband tricked you into taking care of this young girl. But such is life, you married him and must have been prepared to take all of him, the good and the bad.

You can leave if you want to, nobody will blame you for that.

But there is a little girl involved!!!

I know she is not your problem, her own mother abandoned her, her own father cannot be there for her and somehow she is now in your care. But life is full of unexpected situations.

This is a test of character and posterity will judge you for whatever decision you make now.

If it were me, I will stay. Not for the lying husband or his irresponsible ex, but for the little girl who clearly needs you.

This is funny...u are guilt-tripping someone that has no experience taking care of kids with special needs, that cant walk, talk or do basic function.... the funniest part of your guilt-trippimh statement is the "little girl clearly needs you" ....

the little girl needs her mother not a pregnant stranger with a financially struggling man...

The mother that abandoned her with a man that wont be around and a woman thats a total stramger to the child is the one that needs this sermon.

.. I mean, what kind of mother abandons her special needs child with people that have no experience caring for such child..??

Yeyeoldman:


There is something called "the Butterfly effect". Look it up and stop being unkind to the child in question. Your seemingly innocuous statements on Nairaland have real life implications for this child. Do you realize that her life might just depend on what you say on here? If you can't be nice just learn to shut up.

So you still don’t want to adopt her? Ogbeni get out.

All this things u mentioned would befall everyone in ur family and that's a big Amen from my side as I have never wished u bad but u wishing others bad, that bad will hunt everyone of ur family including ursev

Nozino:



Her child is perfect . Yours on the other hand will have cerebral palsy, epilepsy, single cell and AIDS.

Nozino:


The mother that abandon her didn’t neglect her, the father that leaves her daily knowing fully well she can’t do anything for herself didn’t neglect her, it is OP that neglected her. You will run mad!

see you so fraustrated in this life..can't you see how you started cursing yourself, this CURSE shall follow you. Not everyone you see you curse.

Op never cursed then why you?

Since you have decided to take panadol on another man's headache, let Men never cease from cursing you from now on.

GraciousVictor:
then you're a shame to your parents..
i guess you're still 18 and probably a wayward teenager who is yet to understand life.
That JovialJune1 that quoted you is a married lady and she knows what it means and the devastating effects that comes with being a divorcee apparently she's divorce too that's why she is begging the OP and trying to ensure she goes back and apologize to the husband and take up the child with all care cos that's what a loving wife does.
but i can see clearly the OP is a foolish woman who never loved her husband in the first place.

I'm not a teen, neither am i a shame to my parents and i understand life already. Y'all that is telling OP to stay and take care of the child, why don't you reach up to her and provide your help too na. Child that both parents abandon, you want OP to take care of her. Taking care of that child means OP is dedicating her full life to it. Even the husband family don't want to render any form of assistance to her, and she's pregnant o.
If the husband have told her about the child and her condition, OP would have been prepared for it. But just having a child with special needs dumped on you all of a sudden. Omo guy reason am now. Even the husband family don't want to help.
If OP had seen assistance from the family, do you think she will want to leave.
It's good to drop advice when you're not in the person's shoes o.

Read very well before u commenting next time.....I just said the man can bring in his own Mom to look after the child.....Simple

Femifasola:

Donate your sister to the man, simple

Nozino:



You can DM OP with your offer. I feel strongly for the child too. If you can, please do. She needs all the help she can get.

.... I'm not really used to naira land... I don't know how to send dm... If you can assist wit the man's number I'll reallt appreciate it

Femifasola:

Not infection please. Google cerebral palsy the information is on the Internet, educate yourself properly. Thanks

Thanks for the input, though maternal infection during pregnancy could as well result to it. .

You should study well bro

Cheers

Taking care of a special need child is a full time job which is why developed countries pay trained, qualified and certified nurses for such a job. But I doubt Naija government has got any efficient social welfare system running for such kids.
To think the man hid this information from his-to-be-wife even makes it unforgivable. His failure to disclose and discuss such a delicate situation deprived her the right of informed choice, which is indicative of a manipulator. Now his innocent pregnant wife is saddled with a responsibility she wasn’t prepared for. Sad!
Opp, I suggest you LEAVE for your own sanity and the sanity of your unborn baby at least for now until you have your baby, hopefully, after delivering you would be in the best mental and emotional state to objectively reappraise the whole situation.
And I must add, should you remain in the marriage, don’t be in a hurry to have more kids until your (family) financial situation improve considerably. A man who can’t even afford a mate for as low as 25k shouldn’t be in a hurry to marry let alone making babies

Nozino:



You can DM OP with your offer. I feel strongly for the child too. If you can, please do. She needs all the help she can get.

Op, don't contact NOZINO!

It has been confirmed that he is one of the ritualists looking for innocent babies to use.

generalwo:
.... I'm not really used to naira land... I don't know how to send dm... If you can assist wit the man's number I'll reallt appreciate it

Send OP an email and take it from there. Contrary to your thoughts, I do not know OP or her husband from anywhere.

iammarvellux:
see you so fraustrated in this life..can't you see how you started cursing yourself, this CURSE shall follow you. Not everyone you see you curse.

Op never cursed then why you?

Since you have decided to take panadol on another man's headache, let Men never cease from cursing you from now on.

You that is dead? You see how you life is hard currently, do you want to finish yourself?

onlinestaff2020:



I guess you are a YORUBA man, right?

No problem...I know that Yoruba men have a culture that the men do not like working but always laze around and they depend on their wives to take care of them, isn't that right?

The part I said the wife can assist her husband financially is just to create a way to show that she still loves her husband irrespective of his mistake than taking the wrong path of leaving her marriage.

Don't forget that situations do not last forever but good days will surely come one day and this will make the husband realize the good woman he married and surely, he is going to pay her in 100 positive ways in the future.

Remember that two wrongs can not make a right even though the wife is tired at the moment but if they work in good and understanding partnership, this tale shall be a thing of the past as it is trials and temptations at the moment.

I am a Yoruba woman.
Men lazying around is not part of our culture and has never been. Never ever been.
In our culture though, our women are given equal opportunities as the men or even more.
It is not surprising to see us contributing financially in our homes.
There's nothing strange about that.
The only problem Yoruba men seem to have is chasing women up and down, but it's really not a Yoruba thing but a Nigerian man thing as I've come to realise.
Yoruba boys have just been used as poster boys for philandering men while in reality they are not as bad as some others

H0711:


Yes everything you said just like my stepdaughter some nights we don't sleep because she will want to be awake all night crying. last night she cried all night it so frustrated not knowing what was wrong with her because she cannot communicate. I am overmelted and I am on my way to my brother house to go and get some rest.

Chai!
NNE just do what your heart tells you.Nobody I mean don't let anybody guilttrip you but separation at first

Le2money:
All this things u mentioned would befall everyone in ur family and that's a big Amen from my side as I have never wished u bad but u wishing others bad, that bad will hunt everyone of ur family including ursev

But it’s already in your gene. It’s in your generation. And that’s because you wished an innocent woman and her baby evil. So I had to do God’s work, magnify and return your evil plans.

Nozino:


Life has challenges but this isn’t her challenge. If you’re so caring or you care so much about the child, go and adopt her or help her look for the care home. Or na only rubbish you sabi talk?

I swear nah only rubbish
Full my head-pan.
But I dey use am cash-out.

Ten06:


May you never see any good thing in life before you die young

I do not talk to the dead. You are the dead.

H0711:




Thank you . Right now he can't afford that 200k monthly , his younger sister has refused to come and help taking care of the child. Me too I can't kill myself in my condition and I will leave next month.

Your husband didn't disclose such an important information prior to your union and truthfully that's enough grounds to divorce him.I guess the question is do you love him and cherish your marriage enough to stay and work through this difficult time?
Every marriage has its challenges, this time you are not at fault,you can make demands and cause issues. Tomorrow in the marriage things could turn and you will be at fault and your husband will be in a position to make demands and cause issues.
You have decided to quit the marriage but have you asked yourself if you can given it a chance, have you exercised enough patience, have you prayed enough, have you stood by your husband enough. You have a choice to save your marriage and deposit into the future of your marriage.

Besides you are expecting a child which will bound you with your husband for ever. What are you going to tell your child. How do you Know what will happen in future. Consider these things.

This is not about being weird.....the message reads "She is already having 7 months old pregnancy" since this has happened, solution to this is what is needed in which that's where the Guy's Mom can come in to take care of the child ...now leaving the guy Cox of the disabled child never guarantee her of getting a man that will marry her with her pregnancy, or marry her with the child. Maybe I don't know how to make this more explanatory. ....The Lord will give the child a good health and the Pregnant woman a safe delivery as well... Peace �️

cococandy:


you people are so weird
Weird and evil.

Duchessree:



I'm not a teen, and i understand life already. Y'all that is telling OP to stay and take care of the child, why don't you reach up to her and provide your help too na. Child that both parents abandon, you want OP to take care of her. Taking care of that child means OP is dedicating her full life to it. Even the husband family don't want to render any form of assistance to her, and she's pregnant o.
If the husband have told her about the child and her condition, OP would have been prepared for it. But just having a child with special needs dumped on you all of a sudden. Omo guy reason am now. Even the husband family don't want to help.
If OP had seen assistance from the family, do you think she will want to leave.
It's good to drop advice when you're not in the person's shoes o.

alright i get your point now.
how old are you?
sorry to ask

You are a complete Mad Man and I can see u are only looking for a cheap attention....if not, u won't quote me out of context....maybe u av problem reading and u should go back and read it again or give ur fone to any sensible person around u to explain what I typed to u.

Nozino:



But it’s already in your gene. It’s in your generation. And that’s because you wished an innocent woman and her baby evil. So I had to do God’s work, magnify and return your evil plans.

UjuJoan2:


How old is this girl? I find it difficult to believe that taking care of her is as tiresome as you’ve been describing.

I understand that you have been taken unawares and your husband tricked you into taking care of this young girl. But such is life, you married him and must have been prepared to take all of him, the good and the bad.

You can leave if you want to, nobody will blame you for that.

But there is a little girl involved!!!

I know she is not your problem, her own mother abandoned her, her own father cannot be there for her and somehow she is now in your care. But life is full of unexpected situations.

This is a test of character and posterity will judge you for whatever decision you make now.

If it were me, I will stay. Not for the lying husband or his irresponsible ex, but for the little girl who clearly needs you.

Why can’t the girl’s father be there for her? I’m genuinely curious?

Ginaz:


I’m worried about the child of course. It is not her fault to be born that way. Solution will come but I’m not in support of the pregnant wife taking care of the responsibilities. She’s not in a fit form to handle it, and the husband doesn’t have the money to hire help. God will send someone else, maybe that’s what he’s doing already. Some Nairalanders have already recommended charity organizations who specialize in the care of special needs children.

God will take care of its own.

Seems you believe so much in God, so did God tell you its compulsory she leaves before solution fit come, will it be tew much as a couple to brainstorm together thru the storm.
Just one week, she want to japa if naa her child she fit japa, according to her the husband earn peanut i think poverty furstration is more a catalyst she just wan use that child save face[b].
naa poor man house woman dey get principle [/b]



for better for stay for worst i japa .. is the trend

advanceDNA:


The solution is that the wicked mother should come and carry her child....

U parted ways with a man

U still don't want another woman to enjoy him

shes mád

So the man who couldn't provide a dime for the care of a special needs child both birthed isn't wicked?Some of you are just so wicked its unbelievable.

David Nnachi abandoned their own for Jodie the lady that sang' Kuchi kuchi'.She's even crying and talking bout being depressed let alone a 7 month old preggy woman.

Fear God

Ugmama:


Thanks for the input, though maternal infection during pregnancy could as well result to it. .

You should study well bro

Cheers

Commonest things occur commoner, if you were talk about the major cause of something u start with the commonest, still educate yourself better. Cheers.

Yeyeoldman:



There is something called "the Butterfly effect". Look it up and stop being unkind to the child in question. Your seemingly innocuous statements on Nairaland have real life implications for this child. Do you realize that her life might just depend on what you say on here? If you can't be nice just learn to shut up.

I still maintain that you donate your sister to do what you've suggested. Thank you

komek:
@OP,I don't support you to stay because of the reasons given above. But I will be madt at you when this passes and everything normalizes and you suddenly want to return or bring additional problem to the man by dropping your own child because he is the father and he most equally pay the bill.

Please note you are leaving willingly o

Whether OP leaves or stays, it doesn’t change the father that he is the father of the child and should contribute to the child’s upkeep.

You people are so unfair to women. Is this how you are in real life?