redseason:

Like someone said earlier, you are not doing anybody with your outbursts. Again, as a woman, you are not doing a man a favor by contributing to running the home. It’s your home also. A lot of middle income home in Nigeria are run by both spouse. Outside Nigeria, it’s a norm. As a matter of fact, there are more hardworking and productive women today the world over.

Let me shock you a bit. My wife earns 150k monthly, do you know I don’t know how much it costs to run my home; wife and two kids?(feeding, cable, electricity, health, sundry)! I live in diaspora, what are my duties? Education, unforeseen circumstances, capital intensive ventures like investments, mobility and buildings which bear both our names and handled by her.

Nairaland billionaire, if you earn as much as you claim, still single at over 40, no meaningful investment to your name, no achievement, still trying to see a men that earns so much to shore up your liabilities, and you are wondering how come you are still single? It’s not rocket science, you are the type a man that wants to live long should avoid. Marriage is not by force.

Lol.. achievement for mouth. Audio investment.

With all your international achievements, your wife is still running your home with 150k and you're proud to say it.

Don't let me talk because you'll repatriate yourself back from that your audio diaspora.

Even Factory worker go claim diaspora.

Ulunne777:


It takes so much time yo dry.I bought two for trial.
One night I ran out of diapers and had to use it.My baby was very uncomfortable in it(I dont know why) and it took almost 3 days to dry in dry weather.I wonder of it will ever dry in rainy season.

Very true. I was about saying this. There is a reason it didn’t fly. Mothers tried it and dumped it.

TheLordofHost:


From your profile pic it’s obvious the kind work you Dey do. So money no be problem for you. FEAR SINGLE MOTHERS

I once had same opinion about her...

Bunnybee:


Lol. I think it’s unfair to have kids knowing you can’t provide for them.

I wonder!

TheLordofHost:


From your profile pic it’s obvious the kind work you Dey do. So money no be problem for you. FEAR SINGLE MOTHERS

You see now?
Why mocking her for sharing her sincere thoughts?

You men are a bunch of embittered entities riddled with complex issues.

You're feeling intimidated now you see a woman who planned well before taking up a responsibility you men are not willing to wait and plan well for.

All you said, e remain for your body. It doesn't stop her from giving her baby the desired life she has planned for her.

Blessedmercy8:


You see now?
Why mocking her for sharing her sincere thoughts?

You men are a bunch of embittered entities riddled with complex issues.

You're feeling intimidated now you see a woman who planned well before taking up a responsibility you men are not willing to wait and plan well for.

All you said, e remain for your body. It doesn't stop her from giving her baby the desired life she has planned for her.

Abeggi, why would I be intimidated by a hoe?
She is giving her baby good life with a sprinkle of STDs

When life offer you lemon, make lemonade out of it.
Who said babies can't have healthy growth without baby diapers and milk?

Baby napkins are still in the market. Unless you want to brag ( we know how to brag anyway) your baby wore this or drank that. In few years time, who remembers all that? And babies can start solid food early. Alternatively, make puree out of your solids and feed them. Infact, these days, even blenders come with baby puree containers cos we are encouraged to start feeding babies cooked food than all these formulas as early as possible. Companies gat to make money at people's vulnerability and show off.

Some of the comments up there are sickening already. As you want the best for your new child, make sure to foot or share the bill. After all its equality era. If you are not ready to shoulder part of the cost, please don't get married. Period.

TheLordofHost:


Abeggi, why would I be intimidated by a hoe?
She is giving her baby good life with a sprinkle of STDs

Tufia unu! Bad mouth no go wound una for this forum.

Abeg, leave her. By the way, I don't remember her telling you she's not married.

descarado:
When life offer you lemon, make lemonade out of it.
Who said babies can't have healthy growth without baby diapers and milk?

Baby napkins are still in the market. Unless you want to brag ( we know how to brag anyway) your baby wore this or drank that. In few years time, who remembers all that? And babies can start solid food early. Alternatively, make puree out of your solids and feed them. Infact, these days, even blenders come with baby puree containers cos we are encouraged to start feeding babies cooked food than all these formulas as early as possible. Companies gat to make money at people's vulnerability and show off.

Some of the comments up there are sickening already. As you want the best for your new child, make sure to foot or share the bill. After all its equality era. If you are not ready to shoulder part of the cost, please don't get married. Period.

And the solids you're going to introduce, is it not money you're going to use in buying it? Even the napkins, do they come cheap? Ok let's say it's a one off thing with the napkins, school fees nko?

I hear una.

Mercychen don't you get tired?

Melap:
Mercychen don't you get tired?

Lol. .

Leave me alone o. Hm.

Blessedmercy8:


Lol. .

Leave me alone o. Hm.

There is nothing funny about the countless senseless threads you open and I am not laughing with you.

Melap:


There is nothing funny about the countless senseless threads you open and I am not laughing with you.

I know you're not laughing with me that's why I'm sticking out my tongue at you, make e pain!!! You Wella. Okay , let me give you the one you understand. ** Ntoooorrr **.

Leave me alone! I'm not using your data or space to create threads.

Mehn, we just make it seem like life is really really expensive. Like living is that expensive and that anyone who is not rich should just die.

Just a little bit of my life, I have survived on 45k salary taking care of 7 mouths, supporting half of house rents and other bills. We did not die. It was hell but we did not die and of course you work harder and smarter to make sure you earn better.

If you can't afford to give your toddler the most expensive food, please give them pap and other corn meal or low cost food. More than 90% of us were fed with it. And when you have more, you give your kids too as you can afford. No need to spend more than you can afford and more than you earn.

I know couples whose combined salaries is not up to 100k and they are living. Maybe not as much as they would love to have but they find happiness and I'm really happy about them.

Blessedmercy8:


And the solids you're going to introduce, is it not money you're going to use in buying it? Even the napkins, do they come cheap? Ok let's say it's a one off thing with the napkins, school fees nko?

I hear una.

Don't you eat? Do you go hungry?
Now read my post again.


Napkins are cheaper. Waaaay cheaper. We should come down from our high horses and cut our coat according to our sizes. It's not competition. Well, it is in nigeria. Mums size you up by what brand of baby food you give your child and how many the child use in a month. I always say, make sure you share the bill or foot it entirely yourself after all, you make money or are you idle and still demanding for first class baby food?.

As long as you breastfed, your child don't need other milk later on. Make puree for your child from anything you have around you and gradually introduce solid. If you believe making baby puree from what you eat everyday is costly, don't give birth. Work and make money so you can feed extra mouth.

Oh, I am a mother, just want to let us know that.

If you want to know things you can puree or cook and mash for baby, check online or ask. There is no harm in asking and you will get some amazing answers

Blessedmercy8:


I wonder!

Let's say you marry a rich man and his finances dwindles years into the marriage? Quit the marriage or adjust to the realities of life?

Life is not 1+1=2. Whatever situation you find yourself in adjust accordingly, while always striving for the best.

Blessedmercy8:


How am I supposed to add value with my income that cannot sustain me alone as a single? Or you now forget how the same you men always kick against the woman depending on the Man for her needs? Now you want a woman to add value to his 100k. No be only value, na value bread * * chuckles**.

A man that woke up and says he's ready to settle down should be very very ready and not depend on any woman. I'm speaking from the men's perspective now. That's how you men tell us not to depend on our husbands money. So i won't lose myself just because I want to add value to a man in carrying out his responsibilities.

I gat "me" to take care of as well and the money never rish me.

I've followed silently since the first thread and I tried to see things strictly from your perspective. Maybe I could learn a thing or two. But you see, you are missing the whole idea of what marriage is.

Let me try to explain. Marriage is like a covalent bond between two atoms. Each atom is unstable on its own but when they combine their resources, they achieve stability as a pair. If you're not a scientist,then you should understand the next example better. Marriage is like garri and soup. Each is incomplete on its own but together, they make a good meal.

Now, I totally agree with you when you say the intending couple must plan their finances before delving into marriage. However, putting a figure on it is sooooo wrong. There are a whole lot of people out there who earn way less than 100k but still find a way to live a decent life. I grew up as one of the "rich kids" in my area but years later after my old man passed and I found out from his documents what he earned while we were growing up, I felt remorseful. I saw reasons why some things were the way they were.

A man who earns 100k is a big man in today's Nigeria. If he finds a lady who is ready to design a home around that figure (preferably their collective income) with him, there's nothing stopping them. Highest, instead of disposable diapers, they'll settle for reusable ones (as an example).

Take note. Many of these so called necessities were nonexistent while we were growing up and we didn't die. So find a responsible man, design your home around both your incomes and work towards better days.

Bunnybee:
Op you are right. If he can cut costs for ordinary diapers. I wonder what he will feed the baby with given the high cost of baby food in the market now.

My daughter is 3 and I still give her aptamil milk for toddlers which costs 11000. She drinks 3 cans a month.

Please we should all endeavor to be able to give our kids a better life than we lived. Good food, good clothes, good education shouldn’t be a luxury.

Two quick questions please.

1. Does it have to be Aptamil milk?

2. Did you take Aptamil milk at age three?

If your answer to either or both of these questions is no, then there are alternatives which may cost less and Aptamil is simply your choice.

descarado:

Don't you eat? Do you go hungry?
Now read my post again.

Napkins are cheaper. Waaaay cheaper. We should come down from our high horses and cut our coat according to our sizes. It's not competition. Well, it is in nigeria. Mums size you up by what brand of baby food you give your child and how many the child use in a month. I always say, make sure you share the bill or foot it entirely yourself after all, you make money or are you idle and still demanding for first class baby food?.

As long as you breastfed, your child don't need other milk later on. Make puree for your child from anything you have around you and gradually introduce solid. If you believe making baby puree from what you eat everyday is costly, don't give birth. Work and make money so you can feed extra mouth.

Oh, I am a mother, just want to let us know that.

If you want to know things you can puree or cook and mash for baby, check online or ask. There is no harm in asking and you will get some amazing answers

Wow.. I had always thought you're a man.

Ok, ma'am. Noted.

Thanks.

emorse:

I've followed silently since the first thread and I tried to see things strictly from your perspective. Maybe I could learn a thing or two. But you see, you are missing the whole idea of what marriage is.

Let me try to explain. Marriage is like a covalent bond between two atoms. Each atom is unstable on its own but when they combine their resources, they achieve stability as a pair. If you're not a scientist,then you should understand the next example better. Marriage is like garri and soup. Each is incomplete on its own but together, they make a good meal.

Now, I totally agree with you when you say the intending couple must plan their finances before delving into marriage. However, putting a figure on it is sooooo wrong. There are a whole lot of people out there who earn way less than 100k but still find a way to live a decent life. I grew up as one of the "rich kids" in my area but years later after my old man passed and I found out from his documents what he earned while we were growing up, I felt remorseful. I saw reasons why some things were the way they were.

A man who earns 100k is a big man in today's Nigeria. If he finds a lady who is ready to design a home around that figure (preferably their collective income) with him, there's nothing stopping them. Highest, instead of disposable diapers, they'll settle for reusable ones (as an example).

Take note. Many of these so called necessities were nonexistent while we were growing up and we didn't die. So find a responsible man, design your home around both your incomes and work towards better days.

Ok. Well spoken.

Thanks.

VeeVeeMyLuv:
somebody here said 500k is not a enuf to run a family (man, wife and baby)

Most of these girls you people are quoting are girls in their early 20s who are still flexing around with big boys, you will not get any knowledge arguing with them as there mind is made up.

When they reach 35, jobless without a husband, 50k will be enough for a family of 10 to them.

Blessedmercy8:


And the solids you're going to introduce, is it not money you're going to use in buying it? Even the napkins, do they come cheap? Ok let's say it's a one off thing with the napkins, school fees nko?

I hear una.

What is your problem this lady?

Everyone is telling you the truth, you are just being adamant with this your mentality.

Continue to wait until you are 60 years old.

I hope you tell that your boyfriend all these you are spilling online so that the man can see your kind of mind in 3D and take a walk from you. Because you are not ready for marriage

madridguy:
Nothing one will not see on this platform. I never knew using napkins will make life unbearable for a baby is God not wonderful. So an intending couple should not get married because of price of diaper at the market.
Life is all about adjustment and we that they used napkins on us we didn't die nor carry deadly disease.

It is better to use napkins to save cost rather than to put yourself in pressure.

You dey mind them? if you check very well, they hardly feed well in there house.

Rubbiish:

At your age u don't have a child, no husband, you are fast approaching menopause & ur fertility rate is fast dwindling. U think worrying about a married man with an understanding wife should be your problem now? Wait till u get to 50 years body go tell u.

I was once like u & hated poor people going into marriage till a very close friend changed my mentality. He got married with virtually nothing, but today he is hitting contract worth millions. A lot of us were raised with napkins, even when ur parents got married there is high chances they were still managing, but they raised u. U think u are doing anyone by posting nonsense about marriage?

U are no longer far from reality, u are already in ur 40s, just 10 years from now, u will understand what it means be a single lady without a child, husband or family. Those u are mocking now will look far more better than u. Keep on deceiving yourself...

Haaaaa oga easy on her abeg, no be her fault, she probably is used to following big boys who only use her and later marry a responsibile woman.

Bunnybee:
Op you are right. If he can cut costs for ordinary diapers. I wonder what he will feed the baby with given the high cost of baby food in the market now.

My daughter is 3 and I still give her aptamil milk for toddlers which costs 11000. She drinks 3 cans a month.

Please we should all endeavor to be able to give our kids a better life than we lived. Good food, good clothes, good education shouldn’t be a luxury.

My sister son is same age with your daughter, and guess What, they are just managing but I bet you that boy is so healthy and smart than your fair can ever be.

90 percent of Nigerians have less than 1 million in their bank accounts, everyday people keep her married and giving birth to healthy children... Mindset matters, mindset.

But poster what are you on about? You have since concluded you can't marry a man earning below 100k so drop it!

But I'll tell you you're quite myopic, I know someone who got married to a man with a very good income, unfortunately months into the marriage he lost his job and it took them about 2 years before things could stabilize.

So what will you advise her do? To leave the marriage?

Do what works for you and let everyone be, you even went to the extent of screen grabbing someone's post, to prove what? At least he has started his life and family and by God's grace better days are ahead.

VeeVeeMyLuv:
somebody here said 500k is not a enuf to run a family (man, wife and baby)

emorse:

Two quick questions please.

1. Does it have to be Aptamil milk?

2. Did you take Aptamil milk at age three?

If your answer to either or both of these questions is no, then there are alternatives which may cost less and Aptamil is simply your choice.

Na she wan buy am.not encouraging poverty I have seen mothers giving their babies normal family milk,soya beans at healthcentres during immunisations.
My boy,sma gold etc are there

Ulunne777:


It takes so much time yo dry.I bought two for trial.
One night I ran out of diapers and had to use it.My baby was very uncomfortable in it(I dont know why) and it took almost 3 days to dry in dry weather.I wonder of it will ever dry in rainy season.

Oh really? Wow.

I Guess it’s not practical unless the person is using a dryer. Good to know. Thanks for sharing

Pampers isn't even so expensive, but if you remove pampers money from N100k, you might eat your food without fish.

People deliberately going into poverty and bringing in innocent child to partake in it.

If I were God, I will not forgive both man and his wife.

kaboninc:
Mehn, we just make it seem like life is really really expensive. Like living is that expensive and that anyone who is not rich should just die.

Just a little bit of my life, I have survived on 45k salary taking care of 7 mouths, supporting half of house rents and other bills. We did not die. It was hell but we did not die and of course you work harder and smarter to make sure you earn better.

If you can't afford to give your toddler the most expensive food, please give them pap and other corn meal or low cost food. More than 90% of us were fed with it. And when you have more, you give your kids too as you can afford. No need to spend more than you can afford and more than you earn.

I know couples whose combined salaries is not up to 100k and they are living. Maybe not as much as they would love to have but they find happiness and I'm really happy about them.

Bros, hardship don master you.

I hope you get financially free soon.

Blessedmercy8:
In sequence to a post I made earlier on how couples can run a home with a 100k income in this present economy, which gave rise to another and yet another post where a breakdown was finally given, something caught my attention which brought me close to tears and this are my exact concerns and worries about the OP I made earlier.

Now, the man that gave the breakdown said some things in his reply to a commenter and in the tone of that reply, you could sense hes already feeling the heat from what he said in the attached excerpts.

This goes to show that while everyone was busy commending and cheering him for running a home with that amount, he on the other hand is not finding easy and is already planning to subject his unborn baby to a life of discomfort and that is just one aspect of the so many uncomfortable adjustments he might be forced to make if he still on that income but I reject that for him.

Now ma ladies, after seeing this harsh reality, would you still wanna go ahead?
The choice is yours to make and endure or enjoy the outcome.

Below is an excerpt from that post that made me create this post.

Why are you so focused of what he is Earning
Can You not Plan to Add to the Home finances with your own income which you claim is more than 150k?

I thought you said your are Already 41 Yrs old....

If You are looking for the man that will Provide 100% for you at this your Age, YOU MIGHT CLOCK 50 o

Ok o