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6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church - Religion - Nairaland

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6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by Donraqh(m): 8:49am On Oct 09, 2022
This thread does not intend to portray the church in a bad light, however, to point out obvious characters that made up its congregation.

1) The overzealous members

These members appear dedicated to their faith that sometimes you begin to wonder if they're flesh and blood.

If you are looking for a true definition of I'm holier than thou, look no further, they represent everything in-between.

This group of Christians sees anyone who does not operate on the same frequency as them as inferior or better still sinners disguised as Christians.

The worst thing about most of them is, a little encounter with them portrays them to be the exact opposite of what you think they are, transact business with them you'll appreciate better how greed and covetousness are their lots

These members believed they own the church, and they most times control the church leadership.


2) The ordinary members


These members are my favorite type, their own is to attend church services and go home straight, and they don't have time for church politics whatsoever.

The more you try to involve and lure them closer the farther they stay away, they go to church because they're convinced to do so not because of persuasion from anyone.

You'll feel comfortable associating with them more than any other type of member, to them humanity is first before religion.

3) The phone pressers

If you've not noticed these types of members in recent times, you probably are not a regular in the church.

The moment they get sited, they make their phones a companion that no message or order of service matters.

Peep through, you'll be amazed they're on social media, chatting on WhatsApp, etc.

They'll use the entrance and exit more than the ushers, why are they walking up and down? They're talking calls.

4) The fashion members

These group of members hardly come to church, they visit on rare occasions especially when they have new or modern cloth to show off.

They'll be the last to walk into the church when every member is sited and can take cognizance of their attire.

They are filled with innate pride and can give you that gory look if you overstep your boundary into their space by error.

Nothing matters to them more than their clothes and respect.

5) The sleeping members

Everybody may have been a victim of sudden sleep in the church, however, some members are sole custodians of sleeping in the church as always that you'll think they have sleeping sicknesses.

They'll bathe in their house, and put on their best attire just to fall asleep the moment their butts hit the church sit.

Ushers don't tap them anymore, as they easily pick offense for no reason, it's well.


6) The chaikers/receivers


I purposely saved this group of members for the last spot.

Either you refute it or accept it, they are in your church.

The only reason they come to church is to toss babes and most babes are there to give and receive signals too.

Messages about holiness and against fornication are not for them, they are always busy looking for their like and they'll surely get it.

Haven't you heard instances where people were caught having sex in the church toilet or nearby hideouts during night vigils, most parents don't even know what their children are up to. Now you know.

There you have a few on the list, feel free to add yours.

42 Likes 1 Share

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by lalasticlala(m): 10:00am On Oct 09, 2022
Number 2. That's me. No time for church politics and gossips. Worship and go home.

119 Likes 10 Shares

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by Honchoslim16(m): 10:01am On Oct 09, 2022
I'm just here to have fun, let's get turnt up

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by RepoMan007: 10:02am On Oct 09, 2022
lalasticlala:
Number 2. That's me. No time for church politics and gossips. Worship and go home.
You went on annual leave?
Welcome back, all those flooding threads are suppose to have snake news as byproducts because snakes go with flooding.

40 Likes 3 Shares

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by englishmart(m): 10:04am On Oct 09, 2022
I went to church because of pressure from my parents and friends and siblings. Since I moved from home, I've not been to church. And I don't care.
Happy to hear from you, Lalasticlala. Hope you're good

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by KingLennon(m): 10:04am On Oct 09, 2022
Am number 2 by a mile. I go to church to hear the word and leave immediately the service is over. You'll be more focused and highly respected.

30 Likes 3 Shares

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by dyera(m): 10:05am On Oct 09, 2022
Three types of members I find during praise session.

1. The over dancing members. These ones when it's time for praise, you will see how they will be dancing like say they are in a party.

2. The over clapping members. These ones they usually have big hands, if they are clapping during praise session, your ear go almost block.

3. The twerking members. These ones are usually Calabar women, so you this mostly in Calabar dominated churches. When it's time for praise, you will see them dancing Calabar traditional dance where they will bend and be shaking their yansh. Some of them will even leave their seats, come in front of you and be shaking their yansh.

33 Likes 1 Share

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by DropsMic(m): 10:05am On Oct 09, 2022
All of then na the same.. Pretenders.

4 Likes

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by ominilongest(m): 10:06am On Oct 09, 2022
If u drip come church go wahala
If u no drip na headache
You get tithe na wahla
You no get na oppression

Last last .... lipsrsealed

5 Likes

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by seunlayi(m): 10:06am On Oct 09, 2022
Lol

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by obembet(f): 10:06am On Oct 09, 2022
People that look for pastor mistake and use it to gain traffic on social media

24 Likes 4 Shares

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by Ancecoker(m): 10:06am On Oct 09, 2022
grin
Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by Channah1(f): 10:06am On Oct 09, 2022
You're busy condeming and criticizing other types of christians. Which one are you?

Do you and let others do them.

11 Likes

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by Flamethehussler: 10:07am On Oct 09, 2022
Donraqh:
This thread does not intend to portray the church in a bad light, however, to point out obvious characters that made up its congregation.

1) The overzealous members

These members appear dedicated to their faith that sometimes you begin to wonder if they're flesh and blood.

If you are looking for a true definition of I'm holier than thou, look no further, they represent everything in-between.

This group of Christians sees anyone who does not operate on the same frequency as them as inferior or better still sinners disguised as Christians.

The worst thing about most of them is, a little encounter with them portrays them to be the exact opposite of what you think they are, transact business with them you'll appreciate better how greed and covetousness are their lots

These members believed they own the church, and they most times control the church leadership.


2) The ordinary members


These members are my favorite type, their own is to attend church services and go home straight, and they don't have time for church politics whatsoever.

The more you try to involve and lure them closer the farther they stay away, they go to church because they're convinced to do so not because of persuasion from anyone.

You'll feel comfortable associating with them more than any other type of member, to them humanity is first before religion.

3) The phone pressers

If you've not noticed these types of members in recent times, you probably are not a regular in the church.

The moment they get sited, they make their phones a companion that no message or order of service matters.

Peep through, you'll be amazed they're on social media, chatting on WhatsApp, etc.

They'll use the entrance and exit more than the ushers, why are they walking up and down? They're talking calls.

4) The fashion members

These group of members hardly come to church, they visit on rare occasions especially when they have new or modern cloth to show off.

They'll be the last to walk into the church when every member is sited and can take cognizance of their attire.

They are filled with innate pride and can give you that gory look if you overstep your boundary into their space by error.

Nothing matters to them more than their clothes and respect.

5) The sleeping members

Everybody may have been a victim of sudden sleep in the church, however, some members are sole custodians of sleeping in the church as always that you'll think they have sleeping sicknesses.

They'll bathe in their house, and put on their best attire just to fall asleep the moment their butts hit the church sit.

Ushers don't tap them anymore, as they easily pick offense for no reason, it's well.


6) The chaikers/receivers


I purposely saved this group of members for the last spot.

Either you refute it or accept it, they are in your church.

The only reason they come to church is to toss babes and most babes are there to give and receive signals too.

Messages about holiness and against fornication are not for them, they are always busy looking for their like and they'll surely get it.

Haven't you heard instances where people were caught having sex in the church toilet or nearby hideouts during night vigils, most parents don't even know what their children are up to. Now you know.

There you have a few on the list, feel free to add yours.
The ones that beefs with everyone

8 Likes

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by SuperWriter(f): 10:07am On Oct 09, 2022
Y
Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by Jahzrockballer(m): 10:07am On Oct 09, 2022
Omo
Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by 1gbdata: 10:07am On Oct 09, 2022
grin
Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by rottable(m): 10:07am On Oct 09, 2022
Happy Sunday everyone

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by greatiyk4u(m): 10:08am On Oct 09, 2022
Welcome back lalasticlala

3 Likes

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by obembet(f): 10:08am On Oct 09, 2022
U wil find people that will carry politics for head and be doing analysis about Tinubu and obi

1 Like

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by donkarly(m): 10:08am On Oct 09, 2022
Ordinary members report here..

2 Likes

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by Olufemi66(m): 10:08am On Oct 09, 2022
Lolz! May God help us all.
Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by psychologist(m): 10:08am On Oct 09, 2022
A certain guy that came to church because of a girl
Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by Channah1(f): 10:10am On Oct 09, 2022
lalasticlala:
Number 2. That's me. No time for church politics and gossips. Worship and go home.

Yay!! Lala... cheesy cool cheesy.
I've missed you, bruv.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by ATEAMS: 10:11am On Oct 09, 2022
The homeless cry
Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by Reallife17: 10:11am On Oct 09, 2022
lalasticlala:
Number 2. That's me. No time for church politics and gossips. Worship and go home.
So na you be the lalasticlacla wen I dey hear every time

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by DollarBuddy: 10:11am On Oct 09, 2022
Ok,


Next please
Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by neonly: 10:12am On Oct 09, 2022
Church d biggest scam in history
Me I don't even go again na online church I dey watch now
Know dis and get rest of mind

3 Likes

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by Allisgud: 10:12am On Oct 09, 2022
I fall in no2 , church is suppose to be about worshipping God shadure kin shami and go ur way which one village meeting association
U forgot to add those who came for the music dancing,when he reach preaching them go begin Japa small small angry grin grin grin

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: 6 Types Of Members You Find In The Church by lalasticlala(m): 10:15am On Oct 09, 2022
Allisgud:
I fall in no2 , church is suppose to be about worshipping God shadure kin shami and go ur way which one village meeting association
U forgot to add those who came for the music dancing,when he reach preaching them go begin Japa small small angry grin grin grin

Lol. Exactly!

4 Likes 1 Share

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