Hey Guys, so I got in a relationship for a little over 5 months now. She is industrious, hardworking and a wife material by every Nigerian standard.

But the thing is, I can't have a conversation with her. She doesn't understand sarcasm, word plays or any of those stuffs and all my life I've loved word plays and you know, intellectual conversations.

She's a medical student but this issue of not being able to hold a conversation with her is giving me lots of thoughts. When we are together, it's mostly silent because if I crack a joke, I'll have to explain it to the end and she might still not get it.

How do I handle this guys?

You want to have intellectual conversation with a Nigerian girl You think so high of Nigerian girls

Marry her so that you can spend the rest of your life doing explanations

Brother, when they are not the talking type, they are likely to be the stabbing type. Be careful around her because she will be the type that twists your innocent jokes to suit her own narrative. Be careful around them knive stabbers. Don't be among the increasing statistics.

As long as she's not uncomfortable with your jokes and sarcasm.
Wait a minute she's suppose to be the one complaining that 'my man is a clown' and not you.

OP,
So you can't go on without "cracking jokes" for the one you claim you love?

Odiegwu

Since she's the last available girl in the world I'll advise you to try your best to make things work even if it means losing your own life in the process.

Medianna:
As long as she's not uncomfortable with your jokes and sarcasm.
Wait a minute she's suppose to be the one complaining that 'my man is a clown' and not you.

I didn't say I make jokes of her. No be everytime s*x, I like having conversations but I can't find a common ground to do so now

Ask your father, mother and elders at home. Have you done that?

Abi you say na marry you wan marry her

Its still early to takeoff before you become like those brothers that dread going home and would rather hangout in bars than go back to a wife they cannot talk to. PS- Communication is an essential key in relationship.

Jeff121212:


I didn't say I make jokes of her. No be everytime s*x, I like having conversations but I can't find a common ground to do so now

I understand!
Youre and extrovert and she's somehow a 'dumb' introvert.
Ma your cross carry am.

My husband is sometimes like this. The thing can pain me ehn...especially when I am cracking a funny joke and he doesn't get it. You can't change them. These days, I find it hilarious when he doesn't understand my sarcastic comment. I have stopped vexing and learnt to laugh it off.

Nonexisting1:
Brother, when they are not the talking type, they are likely to be the stabbing type. Be careful around her because she will be the type that twists your innocent jokes to suit her own narrative. Be careful around them knive stabbers. Don't be among the increasing statistics.

...
People dey this country...

If you no dey nairaland..you dey miss

I can’t date a gal dat I can’t relate wit, dat relationship will look boring as hell.

Jeff121212:
Hey Guys, so I got in a relationship for a little over 5 months now. She is industrious, hardworking and a wife material by every Nigerian standard.

But the thing is, I can't have a conversation with her. She doesn't understand sarcasm, word plays or any of those stuffs and all my life I've loved word plays and you know, intellectual conversations.

She's a medical student and we're looking at marriage (God willing) but this issue of not being able to hold a conversation with her is giving me lots of thoughts. When we are together, it's mostly silent because if I crack a joke, I'll have to explain it to the end and she might still not get it.

How do I handle this guys, I actually do love her

Sit down and talk things out, help her understand you and know what you want, see if you can open her up and of it ain't working baba leave ooo, find who you fit stay around and be yourself.

She's either not at your level mentally or an experience have left her inexpressive, whatever be the case find common grounds and if it's not working, think and talk a reasonable and peaceful walk. The challenge if you remain is that when you find a lady you vibe together, the chances of cheating is very HIGH.

Nonexisting1:
Brother, when they are not the talking type, they are likely to be the stabbing type. Be careful around her because she will be the type that twists your innocent jokes to suit her own narrative. Be careful around them knive stabbers. Don't be among the increasing statistics.

This shiii you just said reminded me of a guy of mine why he run leave his relationship - he said as beautiful as she is, he fit count the number of times the babe dey talk per day... As funny as he is, she barely laffs to his joke - just smile then a straight face again

You're talking about marrying a girl you don't understand yet??

Have you thought about the rising number of failed marriages these days??

My sincere advice is that, you start looking for something new, it won't last, trust me..

And when you try to force it, out of your uncontrollable love for her, things will likely definitely fall apart...

Anytime she no laugh just totori am

Jeff121212:


I didn't say I make jokes of her. No be everytime s*x, I like having conversations but I can't find a common ground to do so now

I get where you're coming from. My own dey always pick offence. I just tire. Like she no get sense of humour or understands my joke . Our kinda girls are high class exposed girls bro

Medianna:

I understand!
Youre and extrovert and she's somehow a 'dumb' introvert.
Ma your cross carry am.

it's beyond being extroverted or introverted bro. She might be the BBN loving, zee world, loving type and OP isn't. My girl knows all the Nigerian comedians I only roll with American comedians

ThatPetiteChic:


My husband is sometimes like this. The thing can pain me ehn...especially when I am cracking a funny joke and he doesn't get it. You can't change them. These days, I find it hilarious when he doesn't understand my sarcastic comment. I have stopped vexing and learnt to laugh it off.

you're wise.

Tenrack:
it's beyond being extroverted or introverted bro. She might be the BBN loving, zee world, loving type and OP isn't. My girl knows all the Nigerian comedians I only roll with American comedians

Hmmm relationship matter dey tire man pikin on a norm.
He should do what he thinks is best

If she doesn't understand you then try to understand her and the equation will balance.

Save stress.
Leave her.
Period.

Jeff121212:
Hey Guys, so I got in a relationship for a little over 5 months now. She is industrious, hardworking and a wife material by every Nigerian standard.

But the thing is, I can't have a conversation with her. She doesn't understand sarcasm, word plays or any of those stuffs and all my life I've loved word plays and you know, intellectual conversations.

She's a medical student and we're looking at marriage (God willing) but this issue of not being able to hold a conversation with her is giving me lots of thoughts. When we are together, it's mostly silent because if I crack a joke, I'll have to explain it to the end and she might still not get it.

How do I handle this guys, I actually do love her

This is tough… you have said she satisfies 95% of what you want . You have to choose what you value much. Would you choose someone who gets your sarcasm over someone who is not industrious, successful, faithful and a wife material. ?
You won’t get all that you want. Take her as she is or someone else will snatch her.
I understand it’s important to you but how would you rate word play against her other qualities.
My SO and myself don’t have the same music or movie taste . I like soft rock “ journey , U2, Ac Dc , she likes black people music. I like James Bond she doesn’t . She like Tyler perry movies , to me it dulls my brain. So I go watch movies by myself. If we do go together we buy separate popcorn bags because I am a germaphobic.
Word play should derail you from marrying her . That’s your cross to bear look at the bigger picture !

detectivejones:
Its still early to takeoff before you become like those brothers that dread going home and would rather hangout in bars than go back to a wife they cannot talk to. PS- Communication is an essential key in relationship.

Word play is a form of communication not the main form of communication. They are not going on a reality TV show . So it’s variance it is not enough to strike out all her other qualities.

VeryWickedMan:
Since she's the last available girl in the world I'll advise you to try your best to make things work even if it means losing your own life in the process.

Comrade be calming down

Do you think you can change an adult? That's her nature and I doubt if she will be changing because of you. It's either you cope with her attitude or you leave her alone. There are a lot of red flags being displayed in relationship, but due to one's preference on a some attributes the person won't back down. It may get worse in marriage because there a millions of actions couple ls needs to undertake together and as such if one Marries the wrong partner it will be fight everyday.

fastanddubious:
Anytime she no laugh just totori am

5months into the relationship and she is already a wife material. just wait for like a year and you will discover what will blow your mind.

Ogbeni, Call off the Relationship!
There is No kind of jokes you crack that will make her Laugh in the Future..
I Don date this Kind babe b4.
Such People need Weird and Introverted pple like them as Partners!
You will be shocked@how they will Bond!

Stop cracking joke na, you be comedian? What are the other qualities you find interesting about her?

Apart from decoding your word play , is she a nice girl with good character? Try and start having simple conversations with her without necessarily trying to sound smart all the time.

People who know how to actually use sarcasm know when to use it and the right settings to use it. A lot of people always want to force themselves to sound intelligent not knowing that even if you hardly speak, your intelligence will always shine through if you're genuinely intelligent.