Goodmorning friends and NL family i just want to go back to school i want to achieve my dreams of becoming important somebody in my family i really want to Travel even though is a company work am willing to do as far as it will help me to save up for school but the problem is that due to am the only son of my mom she always cry whenever i try to make a move, am tired of staying at a place i want to make my mom proud i really want to make a great name for myself and people am going to encounter. I really love my mom but how i do i make me a move that will hurt her, what should i do? Pls advice

Wow... touching!
Only son,with greatest motherly love.
I understand her pain,but you have to cheer her up that nothing will happen to you!
Let her understand that you are after your carear and future and will always be there for her.

Just go out and start making something for yourself. She won't die if you leave.

You should understand She's just being emotional, you are also emotional.

Emotions are the death of a man, bro.

First imagine that if u die,is your mum going to die too?...in some cases,affections and emotions are not guided by reality but by perceptions.your life is your life so u need to live it cos oneday,only you will answer for it.

Couragejay:
Goodmorning friends and NL family i just want to go back to school i want to achieve my dreams of becoming important somebody in my family i really want to Travel even though is a company work am willing to do as far as it will help me to save up for school but the problem is that due to am the only son of my mom she always cry whenever i try to make a move, am tired of staying at a place i want to make my mom proud i really want to make a great name for myself and people am going to encounter. I really love my mom but how i do i make me a move that will hurt her, what should i do? Pls advice

The same thing you typed here, if you were to tell it to her this way, she'll bulge

Lanretoye:
First imagine that if u die,is your mum going to die too?...in some cases,affections and emotions are not guided by reality but by perceptions.your life is your life so u need to live it cos oneday,only you will answer for it.

This man here said it all....

She has to brace up for it

Please leave immediately. That's what makes you a man. She would be happy to hear you have moved on.

My only advise for your you is to always mind your business and don't get into a fight with people.

Couragejay:
Goodmorning friends and NL family i just want to go back to school i want to achieve my dreams of becoming important somebody in my family i really want to Travel even though is a company work am willing to do as far as it will help me to save up for school but the problem is that due to am the only son of my mom she always cry whenever i try to make a move, am tired of staying at a place i want to make my mom proud i really want to make a great name for myself and people am going to encounter. I really love my mom but how i do i make me a move that will hurt her, what should i do? Pls advice

Be a man and make the move anyway... In some years time, if you fail to achieve your dreams cos of emotions. Trust me, she won't be the one to be blamed

Sunshine311:
Wow... touching!
Only son,with greatest motherly love.
I understand her pain,but you have to cheer her up that nothing will happen to you!
Let her understand that you are after your carear and future and will always be there for her.

i will always be there 4 her

dawnomike:
Be a man and make the move anyway... In some years time, if you fail to achieve your dreams cos of emotions. Trust me, she won't be the one to be blamed

thanks

Kylekent59:
Please leave immediately. That's what makes you a man. She would be happy to hear you have moved on.

My only advise for your you is to always mind your business and don't get into a fight with people.

thanks 4 the advice

Olasyke:
Bloody simp.
Yeah, I said it.
Even if you die, she's going to cry and move on. Just gtfo and start making something for yourself. She won't die if you leave.

Do you know how cwazi you sound

You this abandoned project

Couragejay:
Goodmorning friends and NL family i just want to go back to school i want to achieve my dreams of becoming important somebody in my family i really want to Travel even though is a company work am willing to do as far as it will help me to save up for school but the problem is that due to am the only son of my mom she always cry whenever i try to make a move, am tired of staying at a place i want to make my mom proud i really want to make a great name for myself and people am going to encounter. I really love my mom but how i do i make me a move that will hurt her, what should i do? Pls advice

You better move. If you stay for her and do not become successful, she might mock you one day, directly or indirectly and you'll have yourself to blame. Most women operate from a place of fear while real men are risk takers. She's doing what she should do naturally. You should do what you're meant to do naturally.

That's python cry, I command you to move now.

Klass99:

It's her only son, she's bound to fear. If she had like three sons, she might feel better.

Couragejay post=11848[/quote:
I really love my mom but how i do i make me a move that will hurt her, what should i do? Pls advice

Are you married?

Klass99:

Lol, I get your point. But on the contrary, some mothers will not hear of their daughters leaving the house before marriage. Some daughters have to secretly leave.

I can relate @op, me and my mom that year, hmmm. Have a heart to heart talk with her and make her see reasons as you have stated here. Promise her you will call her almost everyday and keep the promise. Once she agreed, move, though she will Still cry but don't stop.

Lionize:
Are you married?

no dear i have alot on my mind nw To be thinkin of that

culf:
I can relate @op, me and my mom that year, hmmm. Have a heart to heart talk with her and make her see reasons as you have stated here. Promise her you will call her almost everyday and keep the promise. Once she agreed, move, though she will Still cry but don't stop.

i will try talkin to her but mothers eh nawa

Couragejay:
i will try talkin to her but
eh nawa

please do. you cant blame her, its the love.

Couragejay:

no dear i have alot on my mind nw To be thinkin of that

That's one of her wishes and fears. How old are you now?

Couragejay:
Goodmorning friends and NL family i just want to go back to school i want to achieve my dreams of becoming important somebody in my family i really want to Travel even though is a company work am willing to do as far as it will help me to save up for school but the problem is that due to am the only son of my mom she always cry whenever i try to make a move, am tired of staying at a place i want to make my mom proud i really want to make a great name for myself and people am going to encounter. I really love my mom but how i do i make me a move that will hurt her, what should i do? Pls advice

You have not given enough details on how your family settings are

Yes you are the only son but not the only child

If you want to further your education, you have to fill your jamb form and pick a state where your mum stays and make sure you get the admission so that she can see you often

From there it will dawn on her that you are in school

Gradually she will relax but she will never remove her eyes from you

When is time to go for service, she too will understand that it's a national call

So far you have assured her that you will be a good boy and keep on checking on her especially on videos that will calm her down

If you finally made up your mind to travel out, marry and have children so that she will be busy with your children and she will have less worries about you

But her mind is still with you

Dont blame her pls

The most important thing you need from her is prayers not fear, she has to understand that

Mothers are very clingy to their first son. Deep in her heart ,she wants you to stand as a man and succeed but the fear of the unknown makes her emotional each time you come up with leaving the house. Oga, listen to me if you love your family, leave them now and pursue your dreams. As long as you continue to look at your mum's face, you may not see those dreams become real. You will be insulted for not being the man you are meant to be.The responsibility of that family lies on you. Go and make them proud and be happy you did.

Couragejay:
Goodmorning friends and NL family i just want to go back to school i want to achieve my dreams of becoming important somebody in my family i really want to Travel even though is a company work am willing to do as far as it will help me to save up for school but the problem is that due to am the only son of my mom she always cry whenever i try to make a move, am tired of staying at a place i want to make my mom proud i really want to make a great name for myself and people am going to encounter. I really love my mom but how i do i make me a move that will hurt her, what should i do? Pls advice

One of my secondary school teachers back then in Lagos, has only one child. It was surprising to everyone back then that she and her husband were comfortable with their only child leaving Lagos and going to Delta State University to go study Law, you can imagine the regular shuttling between Abraka and Lagos during his years of schooling there . He is today a Partner in a high flying law firm and married with kids, his parents are always posting on Facebook, pictures of their fun times with their grandchildren.

Don't be scared to find your path.

Couragejay:
Goodmorning friends and NL family i just want to go back to school i want to achieve my dreams of becoming important somebody in my family i really want to Travel even though is a company work am willing to do as far as it will help me to save up for school but the problem is that due to am the only son of my mom she always cry whenever i try to make a move, am tired of staying at a place i want to make my mom proud i really want to make a great name for myself and people am going to encounter. I really love my mom but how i do i make me a move that will hurt her, what should i do? Pls advice

Cc
Pansophist
You are the perfect person to advise this young man in his life changing decision.
Pls come and drop your beautiful advice.

This is the one time when you have to ignore your mother and do what is right for you. Humans by nature project their wiring on others. So for men, he will push you to go out there and work while teaching you how to observe safety precautions but women will try to make you safer and more secure since it's what they want.

So for example, if there is a snake in the garden, your father will give you a cutlass and teach you how to cut its head off, obliterating the threat, but your mother will lock you inside, to prevent you from facing the threat. Both methods are good, but one is greater and makes you strong. The mother's method is good when a child is young, but as an adult, your father's method is better.

In any case, one person will not be happy. If you listen to your mother, you will be sad. If you go out there, she will be sad. So why not go out there and save yourself? Go out there, young man. If you make your mother happy, you may retain your body, but you will lose your soul.

Most importantly, you can't make other people happy. You can make them excited, not happy, Happiness is an inside job. You do not burden someone with the obligation to make you happy, and you must not accept it if your mother is doing it to you. Having the right to be happy is like having the right not to be offended, where do you draw the line of what constitutes offense then? Where do we also draw the line of happiness for her?

You are a man, your biological needs are different from women. Women need security, safety, and provision, and even better for them, it is someone else that will provide it in form of a husband. As a man, it is not the same for you. You must go out there and get bruised, forge your way out of the difficulties and bring home to bacon. You don't do this by sitting at home every day with your mum, to make her happy. YOU WILL LOSE YOUR SOUL.

Also, you should know that you are paying a dangerous price staying at home. You are wasting time, a fleeting wealth you have. You won't be stronger, healthier, and free in your 20's, don't bankrupt it. When men always mock women in their 30s who are unmarried, little did they look at themselves in the mirror to see that they are not better either.

Men peak in their 30's, but not most men, just a few. Most men will be invisible from birth to death, and it's because most waste their youths. The clock is ticking, and as you are wasting time contemplating if you should go out there and be a man or make your mother happy, the clock is ticking, and it will have a taste for you, and it will consume you.

Assuming you are 25, in ten years' time if you stay with your mother, you will be older, and your mother will be older too, she may become sick and want drugs but you can't help since you have allowed yourself to be tamed, and all you will hate each other. SHe will see you as a weak goat, and you blame her for your circumstances.

You won't even have the balls to ask women out because your insecurities and weakness will smell from miles away. A lot of you young people think society treats you sweetly as you are in your 20', it is wrong. I am in my early 30's, the difference is like day and night. Five years ago, questions I get are, ''what are you studying? '' or 'what do you want to be? Now it, ''what are you doing''? Where do you work"?

Every parent wants their child to bury them, it would be a tragedy if you allowed your mother to handicap your ability to be able to bury her gracefully because she shielded you from life. Don't allow yourself to be tamed, you owe it to yourself to be free and strong, and to be a man. Be one.

The divine blessing associated with the masculine is the ability to rescue himself and the feminine. Women do not rescue men, but men rescue women. This is the relationship between strength and weakness. If you destroy your life by allowing yourself to be tamed, redemption will never come from anywhere. A woman can be a prostitute and have a series of abortions and uneducated, but if she marries a good man, she is resurrected from her past and a sweet future awaits her.

A man that damages his life is disposable, it's final. I have to make this really dark for you, so you man up and find your strength, because you may think all is fine because the dragon hasn't come looking for you. It will come, at least a decade from now, and that day is not a good day. I always get emails from people everywhere who read what I write here, and many of these men are those who wasted their life and looking for redemption.

Life is not kind to men that messed up, I wonder why lots of fathers are not guiding their sons to the truth because the life of a man is by default, difficult. Very difficult. Let me stop here. I believe I have advised you enough.

cc. Dobnina , CaveAdullam

pansophist:
This is the one time when you have to ignore your mother and do what is right for you. Humans by nature project their wiring on others. So for men, he will push you to go out there and work while teaching you how to observe safety precautions but women will try to make you safer and more secure since it's what they want.

So for example, if there is a snake in the garden, your father will give you a cutlass and teach you how to cut its head off, obliterating the threat, but your mother will lock you inside, to prevent you from facing the threat. Both methods are good, but one is greater and makes you strong. The mother's method is good when a child is young, but as an adult, your father's method is better.

In any case, one person will not be happy. If you listen to your mother, you will be sad. If you go out there, she will be sad. So why not go out there and save yourself? Go out there, young man. If you make your mother happy, you may retain your body, but you will lose your soul.

Most importantly, you can't make other people happy. You can make them excited, not happy, Happiness is an inside job. You do not burden someone with the obligation to make you happy, and you must not accept it if your mother is doing it to you. Having the right to be happy is like having the right not to be offended, where do you draw the line of what constitutes offense then? Where do we also draw the line of happiness for her?

You are a man, your biological needs are different from women. Women need security, safety, and provision, and even better for them, it is someone else that will provide it in form of a husband. As a man, it is not the same for you. You must go out there and get bruised, forge your way out of the difficulties and bring home to bacon. You don't do this by sitting at home every day with your mum, to make her happy. YOU WILL LOSE YOUR SOUL.

Also, you should know that you are paying a dangerous price staying at home. You are wasting time, a fleeting wealth you have. You won't be stronger, healthier, and free in your 20's, don't bankrupt it. When men always mock women in their 30s who are unmarried, little did they look at themselves in the mirror to see that they are not better either.

Men peak in their 30's, but not most men, just a few. Most men will be invisible from birth to death, and it's because most waste their youths. The clock is ticking, and as you are wasting time contemplating if you should go out there and be a man or make your mother happy, the clock is ticking, and it will have a taste for you, and it will consume you.

Assuming you are 25, in ten years if you stay with your mother, you will be older, and your mother will be older too, she may become sick and want drugs but you can't help since you have allowed yourself to be tamed, and all you will hate each other. She will see you as a weak goat, and you blame her for your circumstances.

You won't even have the balls to ask women out because your insecurities and weakness will smell from miles away. A lot of you young people think society treats you sweetly as you are in your 20', it is wrong. I am in my early 30's, the difference is like day and night. Five years ago, questions I get are, ''what are you studying? '' or 'what do you want to be? Now it, ''what are you doing''? Where do you work"?

Every parent wants their child to bury them, it would be a tragedy if you allowed your mother to handicap your ability to be able to bury her gracefully because she shielded you from life. Don't allow yourself to be tamed, you owe it to yourself to be free and strong, and to be a man. Be one.

The divine blessing associated with the masculine is the ability to rescue himself and the feminine. Women do not rescue men, but men rescue women. This is the relationship between strength and weakness. If you destroy your life by allowing yourself to be tamed, redemption will never come from anywhere. A woman can be a prostitute and have a series of abortions and uneducated, but if she marries a good man, she is resurrected from her past and a sweet future awaits her.

A man that damages his life is disposable, it's final. I have to make this dark for you, so you man up and find your strength, because you may think all is fine because the dragon hasn't come looking for you. It will come, at least a decade from now, and that day is not good. I always get emails from people everywhere who read what I write here, and many of these men are those who wasted their life and looking for redemption.

Life is not kind to men that messed up, I wonder why lots of fathers are not guiding their sons to the truth because the life of a man is by default, difficult. Very difficult. Let me stop here. I believe I have advised you enough.

cc. Dobnina, CaveAdullam

Can we call this a coincidence? Hahaha haha.

MODIFIED

Dear OP, this post is what you need and you must act asap.

My daddy has said everything but since he said I should come and "chook my mouth and do small tafia":

1. Children are women's greatest investment in a relationship. It takes pain to carry a pregnancy for 9 months + years (0-30years +) in nurturing their kids simultaneously with her husband.

2. It is because of this reason women don't like seeing their children engage in risky adventures which aligns with the fact that women are conflict avoidant. The higher the number of children the greater the risk, that's, if she's not able to protect them till strong adulthood. Hope you have seen mother hen and her entourage of chicks? She is harsh, tough, and overprotective because it took pains to bring them to life.

One or two kids pose more of a threat especially when she approaches menopause.

3. First child or male children have a strong place in the heart of women. If you are the (first child) + a male + (only child), forget it, the mother will never let you go. He is a reflection of her husband. She captures the husband in the son and wants to protect him for herself. However, this form of protection does the son no good at all, because it weakens his masculinity.

4. Men attached to an outburst of feminity can't wage warfare in the outside world. Because women don't teach how to become a warrior but an avoider. Counterintuitive, they want you to be strong enough to protect them and provide for them. Then begs the question: how can a man protect and provide without facing warfare?

5. This is why a masculine figure is important in the lives of young males and females. The mother teaches the children how to use silence and trickery to escape when necessary while the father teaches the children how to win by using strength. This is the importance of a father and mother in the life of a child.

6. Not only that, the father becomes a figure the son looks up to for guidance and how to become a better man; the daughter looks up to him to know the right kind of man she can enter a sexual union with and that can protect her and her kids.

7. The son observes the mother in order to know how to identify a good woman base on how she treats her children and respects her husband while the daughter observes her mother so that she can also become a good mother and wife to her children and husband respectively.

8. Life is not straightforward. It is twisted, mixed, complex, complicated, intertwined, and dark. You must look for wisdom to find your way around this maze called life.

9. You can't escape compromise in this life. You must challenge your fears. You must choose a better future over your loved ones.

Your loved ones will slow you down not because they hate you or are envious of your ambitions but because they love you so much that they don't want you to take the risk that leads to the apex.

This is the love that weakens, a romantic kind of love, unlike the love of God - He stands with you as you walk through the valley of the shadow of death. This is the kind of love that strengthens you, the love of fire on raw gold as it massages its inner core extricating every impurity to refine the gold making it beautiful and immaculate.

10. This is you versus the future. You must put yourself first doing what's right and not foregoing truth, wisdom, and integrity. You must make sacrifices even if it involves ostracizing yourself from the love of your family.

11. It is a risky adventure for the male child because he has no escape route, unlike the female child that can leverage men with her beauty and sexuality. As a man you can't escape this warfare, you must fight to the end to seek victory, power, and freedom.

12. There is no guarantee that you will win. Failure is the default. But you must not be weakened by it. Better try and die in the process than not try at all. You will always regret and hate yourself if you don't try because you'll see others that tried, fought, and won. Then and there you become your worst nightmare. Your inner demons will torment you as you grow old towards your grave - a wasted life indeed.

13. Dear friend, don't be afraid. Mother will be proud of you if you come back with a medal. Even if you don't come back with a medal at least you have garnered experiences for life. Use these experiences to learn again. Try to win.

14. Project suggestions to your mother, tell her your ambitions, and bend her to help you pursue your dream. Manipulate her to the extent that she will become the one propelling you to your destination. Women are cheerleaders, they are always happy once they think they are the ones in charge.

If this proves abortive, you must stay aloof and find your way to the zenith.

15. Look for good males on the same journey as you. Find a good mentor. Learn a skill - preferably computer skills. Or, learn a trade. Learn sales and marketing.

Stay away from fraud! A good name is better than riches. Be the poor wise old man people neglect than the fraudulent rich man people clamor for.

16. If you are not going to school to study STEM courses or accounting, please, forget a university certificate and start fighting the battle now. Don't go waste your time in a university with a useless certificate at the end.

Stay well, my friend. See you at the last lap.

Have a nice day.

Cc. Pansophist. Hedgefunds. Calibrator. Tonnyray.

CaveAdullam:


Can we call this a coincidence. Hahaha haha.

It is.