If your parents strongly and stubbornly opposes your marriage to your spouse, wat can you do?

^Are you one of the many Russian Programs,robots and viruses in circulation around here Ma/Sir ?

3 threads in 3 seconds

ifyalways:

^Are you one of the many Russian Programs,robots and viruses in circulation around here Ma/Sir ?

3 threads in 3 seconds

lol

@OP
That is when i will fall deeper in love and marry him , its just may way and my folks no so they always let me b

dats means you are out of luck

r231:

dats means you are out of luck

hahaha 
do you know how many people are in their very own cubicle of hell fire on earth they call marriage just because they allowed parents, woli, pastor etc to choose for them.

If i am to take such a life changing decision then its wholely down to me and my creator.

P.s your wife is gorgeoooous !

@ OP: wedding is different from marriage.

Wedding, you won't invite keep it small.

Oppose marriage: sit them down and ask why?!

first of all i will let them know that i love him no matter what, and i will assure them that i am going to get married to him no matter what, if they insist i will just leave and get married minus their consent,

If my parents can not give a sounding reason then i just go ahead and get married minus their consent because i have no option left for me. But, if there is a sounding reason i can look for some one else.

as for my my parents wld not decide on the girl i should get married to..............

The best you can do is to convince them on why he is the best for you however, in my opinion I think most times, parents want to choose for the child whom they do not trust his/her sense of judgment.

the first thing is to ask them to candidly explain why they oppose your wedding. Then sit down and ask yourself in all sincerity if their concern is valid. I once almost rejected my parents advice not to marry. It took me a full yr to realize they really meant well for me, that their concerns were indeed valid and i was just too blinded by lust to see it.

^You mean you once almost rejected your parents' call not to marry? That is the only way that post can make sense in the context of this thread

I don't know why you will willfully date someone you know your parents will not allow you to marry. i can't even comprehend it. Marraige has it's own wahala, then you will add parents and family wahala ontop, double jeopardy.

ronkebp: I don't know why you will willfully date someone you know your parents will not allow you to marry. i can't even comprehend it. Marraige has it's own wahala, then you will add parents and family wahala ontop, double jeopardy.

There are 2 groups when it comes to the topic:

1. The blind or stupid ones.

2. Those who are genuinely in love and are the best partners for each other.

It is difficult sometimes to differentiate the two as they can be easily mistaken for each other. Maybe you were lucky and your parents welcomed your husband and vice versa. For some other people, it is not always easy or straightforward.

maclatunji:

There are 2 groups when it comes to the topic:

1. The blind or stupid ones.

2. Those who are genuinely in love and are the best partners for each other.

It is difficult sometimes to differentiate the two as they can be easily mistaken for each other. Maybe you were lucky and your parents welcomed your husband and vice versa. For some other people, it is not always easy or straightforward.

I will not really call it luck, i will just say, i was working with my head not heart, I knew what i wanted for myself, my life, myhome, my marraige, and lets say, i went ahead to go with my head not heart, which worked out well for everybody, i brought a man, my parents would never say no too.

For the 2nd one, just because you are genuinely inove with someone, does not make the person the right person for you, marraige-wise.

As tough as that is, I kind of agree that in some cases you may be right. Are you a believer of the saying: 'marry the one who loves you more instead of the one you love more?'

gabuche: If your parents strongly and stubbornly opposes your marriage to your spouse, wat can you do?

get pregnant!

maclatunji: As tough as that is, I kind of agree that in some cases you may be right. Are you a believer of the saying: 'marry the one who loves you more instead of the one you love more?'

To an extent......yes!!!!, especially from a woman's perspective, only because sometimes, marraige and love don't go together.

Why do you think that sometimes, some of this arranged marraiges work-out, especially in India culture. Only because it is much more than, "i love you....you love me thing". infact love is 5% of what marraige really is about.

ronkebp:
To an extent......yes!!!!, especially from a woman's perspective, only because sometimes, marraige and love don't go together.

Why do you think that sometimes, some of this arranged marraiges work-out, especially in India culture. Only because it is much more than, "i love you....you love me thing". infact love is 5% of what marraige really is about.

if everyone is looking for someone who loves them more then no one would get married.
that theory is the reason most marriages don't work these days because one party is more self-centred.
the reasons arranged marriages work in india is because the the man n the woman have been match-made since childhood.
and they are bound by strict islamic rules/culture and what not.

i will not marry someone cos she loves me more. that actually means i have no say in the matter.
i will only marry someone i love and someone who loves me(in equal measure)
now, that's the perfect match. if you marry someone on the basis that he loves you then trouble looms
the day you meet someone you love?

^Can the degree of love between two people be equal? I think one will love the other more even if it is slight.

maclatunji: ^Can the degree of love between two people be equal? I think one will love the other more even if it is slight.

i am prepared to do slight. . . .but not the kind of imbalance ronkebp is talking about.
why marry someone that loves me more? so if a groundnut seller loves me more than any woman
on the planet then i must marry her based on that? my affection for her does not count?

cheiii - naija women and their uncanny ability to be selfish.

coogar:

if everyone is looking for someone who loves them more then no one would get married.
that theory is the reason most marriages don't work these days because one party is more self-centred.
the reasons arranged marriages work in india is because the the man n the woman have been match-made since childhood.
and they are bound by strict islamic rules/culture and what not.

i will not marry someone cos she loves me more. that actually means i have no say in the matter.
i will only marry someone i love and someone who loves me(in equal measure)
now, that's the perfect match. if you marry someone on the basis that he loves you then trouble looms
the day you meet someone you love?

1. Majority of Indians are not muslim, we have different religion lumped into one big nation....
2. There is no way a couple can love each other equally, one will always be more...but it is good to marry someone you have feelings for and would be able to give you peace of mind in your marraige.

ronkebp:

1. Majority of Indians are not muslim, we have different religion lumped into one big nation....

they are still bound by their culture and their morals.
there are religions stricter than islam in india.

2. There is no way a couple can love each other equally, one will always be more...but it is good to marry someone you have feelings for and would be able to give you peace of mind in your marraige.

a couple can love each other equally. who says one will always be more?
yes, it could be hard to find it but couples like that do exist.

the reasons arranged marriages work in india is because the the man n the woman have been match-made since childhood.
and they are bound by strict islamic rules/culture and what not

huh

tpia@:


huh

you didn't lose your ability to comprehend, did ya?

coogar:

i am prepared to do slight. . . .but not the kind of imbalance ronkebp is talking about.
why marry someone that loves me more? so if a groundnut seller loves me more than any woman
on the planet then i must marry her based on that? my affection for her does not count?

cheiii - naija women and their uncanny ability to be selfish.

LOL.

coogar:

i am prepared to do slight. . . .but not the kind of imbalance ronkebp is talking about.
why marry someone that loves me more? so if a groundnut seller loves me more than any woman
on the planet then i must marry her based on that? my affection for her does not count?

cheiii - naija women and their uncanny ability to be selfish.

Coogar you are missing the point, it is not about going around bodija market, looking for someone that loves you more, from what i have seen and heard, when a man truely loves a lady, there is no heights he can't reach to make her happy, and when a woman loves a man, there is nothing she cannot do to make the man happy.

Now if we have two people who really are inlove with eachother and respect eachother, they will love and live to really make eachother happy. Some women force themselves on a man, expecting the man to love them by force or fire and thinking tying them with pregnancy or marraige will make the men love them, omo they got all wrong from the start. If you have someone, who you know loves and cares so much for you, and will always make you happy, then why not? Now, i am not saying you should marry the person you detest and can't stand.

And if you read my post well, i said to "an extent" ( that means there is enough room for other things).

^Ok, I think I got that.

Parental consent in marriage is a must and cannot be wished away.
Some churches will not conduct any wedding where parental consent was not given.

hmm