I am eniola,a female, good looking, 27+ years old,a graduate and i also have a professional certificate. I've been out of a relationship for 7 years now because I am a virgin and i didn't want to be distracted from my studies.

All these while,I've been focusing all my attention on my books so as to come out with good grades, get a good job and take good care of my siblings ,though i am the last but seem to be the only serious one amongst all my siblings , more-so my elder sister is living in poverty with her kids, so I have always thought of taking care of her immediately i graduate.

I have been doing petty trading to support myself financially, coupled with the ones i get from my parents in order not to flirt,because of this, i can't count d number of men who wants to go out with me that i've turned down , because i know they'll want to sleep with me while claiming to want to assist me financially.

I've suffered so much,many times i go to bed on an empty stomach,menstruating without money for pad etc. I've endured but there seem to be no change,it's a year plus now that i've graduated but yet to get a job,i am d only one left the area i stay. Some are married, some have Jobs and have left their parent's home.

I'm always indoors because People mock me, my mum makes matters worse, she called me recently and told me that, if i am doing anything bad, i have to stop it,because it looks like i am paying for my sins, that's why i have no husband and no job .In recent times,i met dis man who works in one of the big cities in Nigeria, He promised to help me get a job but on a condition that i'll have to go out with him.

This suffering is too much i've been selling all sort of goods item since 18yrs combining it with my education,but i've stopped cos it's stressful,i need a positive change in my life,but having come this far, does it make any sense to lose my pride just like that, and its not as if i am not brilliant but the Nigerian factor of connection before you can be employed .

PLEASE MY PEOPLE SHOULD I HOLD ON A BIT MORE, OR LET HIM GO? BECAUSE I'VE PRAYED FOR A CHANGE BUT IT IS GETTING TOO LONG.honest advise And opinion please do not insult me.

thanks.

these is tough! BRB

Hmmmmmmmmmmm well if only you can hold on , Things will change just a matter of time.

@ ekel101:-10x so so much

But if I should ask. . .why do u think that having a borfriend would hinder your education? Also, what price is/are paid to virgin girlfriends/wives?
My friend, let me tell u something. . .Keepin your virginity in the state of Nigeria today just to earn urself accolade from others is useless. I wish you the best insearch of your job but please, be of help to yourself and get a good and caring boyfriend. *maka ndu gi.*

BS: If the reason why you wanto have a one night stand with that guy is b'cos you dont have money to sustain yourself at the moment, then dont worry yourself . I can send you $50usd for you to use in taking care of yourself at the moment. then when you'r ready for a boyfriend, u take your time, be careful and choose a good, lovin and caring guy of YOUR choice. END OFF !!!

@ranoscky-10x 4 takin ur time 2read,my last relatnship was @age 20,it was then i knew,i'm a very emotional persn if i'm in luv,i won't be able 2concentrate on anytin,i won't be able 2 eat,sleep,nd wish 2just b wif d pern so i won't stay focused, datz why i decided 2stay away till i'll be more matured nd able 2handle it.

So, what is the case now?

Actually your scenario still lack some vivid details. With certification and degree, you can't still get a job ?
Ok, dont you have a fiancee, boy friend ?

I am confused here. Having a fiancee or boy friend is not flirting or wayward, it is merely organizing for the future.

Hope you dont have any character problem. Who knows? your boyfriend/fiancee can help you materially (there is nothing wrong in your boyfriend helping you.) But, those sugar pot belle daddy is not advisable.

Yes, connection, you need it. A healthy connection wont do you a harm. You dont have to sleep with anybody. Friends can get you connected. Except you dont have friends due to your character. I got my first and second Job through connection. Throu my classmates. I am a male, nobody slept with me and I didnt bribe anybody. I just use my links/contacts to know what is available where.

Life is sweet other than suffering.

When I was with my Fiancee (GF) I helped her when she was in school. It doesnt mean anything. It can happen vice a vice. I can meet a lady that can help if she is more endowed than me.

Lets know your problem.

Apply to the good companies around you and ask them the you would like to do some upaid work experience with them for about a month.

Whilst you are there make a good impression most time they would keep u on even if it is as a secertary. all the  best.

I dont know what state you are in but hang in ther God is never too late he probably want you to go thru this to apperciate the blessing to come

@ranoscky-yeah i know i need a guy in my life cos i'm nt gettin any younger @islamrules - e yaa, u didn't tk ur time 2 read through my replies,if u did u'll know why i stayed off from dating,i got no character problems,infact i've got quite a nos of pple who's helpin me in search,it's just dat i'm feelin it's takin 2 long 4 a positive change 2tk place in my life, maybe if my journey in life had been quite smooth,i won't b feelin dis way,afta all,we hav pple who graduate like3yrs afta sch b4 being employed,nd mind u were only favoured so don't conclude dat ur job was tied 2 ur effort nd cerificatn,i pray God favours me soon too so dat i can com back 2 give glory 2him. i'm quite a very unique nd intresting person so i gat no character probs.10x oyed,nd mind u were only favoured so don't conclude dat ur job was tied 2 ur effort nd cerificatn,i pray God favours me soon too so dat i can com back 2 give glory 2him. i'm quite a very unique nd intresting person so i gat no character probs.10x

ebonyvibe:

Apply to the good companies around you and ask them the you would like to do some upaid work experience with them for about a month.

Whilst you are there make a good impression most time they would keep u on even if it is as a secertary. all the  best.

I dont know what state you are in but hang in ther God is never too late he probably want you to go thru this to apperciate the blessing to come

Are you rily sure,that cant happen in Nigeria.Free work experience.Employers go dey wonder which kind Mother-Christmas be this for August and will want her to do like a year charity work.It can work in UK,not 9ja.

Ok that I know that. Then you have to be patient, its just seems to be taking too long to you.

But nothing is late in life. It will soon be over and you will even forget all the hardship you are facing. But all the same, jobs no dey scarce for women. Women dey get job easier, its not always easy for men.

I understand you sha!

@ ebonyvibe- 10x so much my sista,i'm in lagos,infact i told som1 i'm ready 2do front desk while still searching,i get regular job alerts straight 2my mailbox everyday nd i've applied 2 quiet som places but i'm yet 2b contacted,i truly appreciate ur comment.

What did u study in Uni Mekozoral?

What did u study in Uni Mekozoral and your certification?

hello dear,
i have red your story,i think you have done the right thing.I think you just need to hold on and pray to God for help,if possible go to church for prayers and believe God is able to do all things
You can mail me at gbenga_65@yahoo.com or call 07082414893 for more.
There is hope

strongguy:

hello dear,
i have red your story,i think you have done the right thing.I think you just need to hold on and pray to God for help,if possible go to church for prayers and believe God is able to do all things
You can mail me at gbenga_65@yahoo.com or call 07082414893 for more.
There is hope

More what?

I have seen it happen many times dont make an assumption go there my darling it works.

Call a company find out the managing directors name. if it is a woman take a box wrap it in pink if it a man take the box and wrap it in a lovely blue wrapping paper.

Go to the company and tell them you have a delivery for the manager which needs to be in person the box has to be very big do not give the box to anyone wait even if you have to wait the whole day wait ( you need a job remember)

Whe he or she comes out make the same plea you have just made on nairaland with your cv at hand offering to do free work experience for a month. Be precise a month

do it and trust me it works dont just assume it doesnt afterall many people are getting employed every day with no connections agreed most with but it is not impossible i find often it is lazy people that jump to this assumption you have to be imagineative to get a job

Forget fake pastors you can pray yourself dont do and pay a pastor one penny for get emailing for jobs people dont read it the just delete it. a manager i know but not in lagos unfortunately butwe apperciate people with initiative

another suggestion i will give you is
1 Make photocopies of your CVs ,come to vi and drop it around the offices
2 Start selling cards/making calls sounds funny but its better than nothing
3 Stand up and do something i believe the help is within
God is able

No matter the duration of the nigth, day will surely break.
Pls hold on to that which u believe i mean u first love and do not compromise it. The breakthru is in the corner.  God will strenghten u if u ask Him for more strenght and direction. Please dont give up cos u will be suprise the number of younger one that admire u right now for that decision.

Mekozoral:

I am eniola, female, good looking,aged 27+,a graduate also hold a professional certificatn,'ve been out of relatnship 4 7yrs nw cos am a vigin nd wud be a bit distracted 4rm my academics.All these while,i've focused all my attentn on my books so as 2 come out wif a very gd grade,get a gd job nd tkcare of my sibblings,though i am d last but seem 2be d one who's serious amongst all,moreso my elder sista  is living in poverty wit her kids, so hav always thought of taking care of her immediately i graduate,I hav been in a petty trade  2support myself financially, coupled wif d ones i get 4rm my parents inorder nt to flirt,because of dis, i can't count d nos of men who wants 2go out wifme dat i've turned down  cos i know they'll wana sleep wif me while claiming to b assisting me financially.i've suffered so much,many times i go 2 bed empty stomach,menstratn witout money 4 pad,i've endured but there seem 2b no change,it's a yr plus now dat i've graduated but yet 2get a job,i am d only one left d area i stay,those dat are married are married,those wif jobs 've quit there parents home,but it's just me alone,infact i'm always indoor cos pple now mock me,my mum makes d whole matter worse,she called me recently nd told me dat if there is somfin i'm doin dat is nt gd i shud stop dat i'm payin 4my sins datz why i've no husband nd job.in recent times,i met dis man who works in one of d big cities in Nigeria,promised 2help me get a job but on  a conditn dat i'll 've 2go out wit him.this suffering is too much i'v been selling all sort of goods item  since 18yrs combinin it wif my educatn,but i've stopped cos it's stressful,i need a positive change in my life,but having com dis far, does it make any sence losing my pride just like dis when is nt as if i'm nt brilliant,but naija factor of connectn b4 u can be employed.PLS MY PEOPLE SHOULD I HOLD ON A BIT MORE, OR LET HIM GO?COS I'VE PRAYED FOR A CHANGE BUT IT IS GETTING TOO LONG.honest advise nd opinion pls don't insult me.10x  

i am really sorry to hear your story. i really feel your pain. my advise to you though, is that all the good things of life will come in their own time. if you have chosen to live life with certain values, never let your circumstances make you to compromise them. i am sure that if you remain steadfast and keep searching for what you can put your hands to do, God would eventually give you something, and something very good.

@Ranoscky, she doesn't need to have a boyfriend to necessarily improve her condition. what if she gets a boyfriend who is not able to find her a job? or have boyfriends now started doubling up as recruitment agencies? the more practical role that her so-called boyfriend might serve is give her some money every now and again. but somehow, i don't think that's what Mekozoral here is after. i think she is after a more steady and lasting income-source and profession than a periodic handout.

moreover, even in the event that the so-called boyfriend could find her a job, it needn't have had to be the boyfriend that needs to "connect" her. any good friend of hers, male or female, could have done just the same.

Finally, @ Mekozoral, i would advise that if you see a good man, you should consider him, without having the mindset of "I want to achieve this, that, that and this" before i can go out with any man. time waits for noone, and it's not everyday you meet Mr. Right. being in a relationship isn't always that much of a distraction, especially for someone of your age. you should be able to delineate when its time for your man and time for other things.

that said, if you date a man, please date him for the content of his character only and not for the job he can get you. i wish you all the best, dear!

@OP

 Do not do what you're not ready to do because of a job, if you're ready for a realtionship, go for a relationship and not because it comes with a job price tag.

BTW, you obviously do not need to find a job, if you were able to do petty biz to sustain yourself via school, then all you need is a little bit of funds to continue in your entrepreneur line of career, do not waste your time chasing office job.

All I can say is hang on. . .

Ur breakthrough is on the way

@ phraoh-10x so so much,i'll keep in touch,@ stongguy-i've bsc banking&finance nd ACIB 10x for ur care@ ebonyvibe-u see dis strtegy u gave me,i've used it a long time ago,i think it shud be arround 2003 or thereabout,then all i had was just my GCE result,so 1 day i cam across a calender it was actually dat of an eatery(i don't wana mentn name) so i decided 2 call d phone nos on it which was a land line,som1 picked,i introduced myself afta which i told him  i needed a job,2my surprise i was told 2check in d next day which i did,i met d guy i spoke wif on d phone nd excused me 2 go inform his boss cos i think they were actually recruitin @ dat time but by d time  he came out d boss said they've rounded up nd through wit selection process,dat was hw i decided 2 hustle till i got admissn d ff yr nd decided 2face my bks but 4 over1 yr nw i've been in d labour mkt again,@190-AMEN,AMEN ND AMEN,@manutayo-10x so so much,@anwuli-may God bless u, i've heard all u've said 10x,@honeric01-10x so much,@kpolli:- Amen 10x

Babe you are full of excuses you applied a stratedgy in 2007 it didnt work so you gave up keep on donig it until you get something.

now your full time job is finding work. Go everywhere you know wake up at 9am and dont come home until 6pm do it for a month trust me you will get something.

dont just sit there and wallow in self pity; unless you want to start selling your body dont be discouraged i am not going to start pitying u and saying sorry it is not going to help you u need the fighting spirit

no more pity party

U gotta start living for yourself and stop waiting for things to happen to you or fall into your lap. All it takes is 1 yes out of a thousand No's to land a job. Maybe you need to brighten up your resume, there are people who could do this for you for a minimal fee. They'll highlight your strong points and gear each resume towards whatever the job requires. Hell I'm sure there are some people on here who wouldn't mind helping you out for free if you upload your resume.

Be assertive and not dismissive when looking for work. Don't just accept what people tell you. You basically need to sell yourself and the skills you have to offer. Tell employers why hiring you is going to be beneficial to their business. It's all about presentation, don't have a defeatist attitude. If you don't get that job, there's always another job out there to be had. I hope this helps in anyway and keep persevering.

God Bless

@sexkillz- may God bless u,i'll neva give up@ ebonyvibe- i neva came 2 nairaland 2be pittied, i decided 2 concentrate more on my academics nd professional exams cos i was writin both almost d same time like 2weeks interval,wen d admissn came in '05 meanwhile i said i put in dat particlar strategy @ som point in time which was in '04, dat dosen't mean i relented in my effort but later wen i found myself in sch as well as writin professional exams(i had 2 cool down a bit,cos i've 2 co-ordinate my thought or else i'll loose it all).but i've alwys engaged in 1 form of biz but since i'm through i've got 2face d labour mkt again,THE ONLY REASON WHY I SHARED THIS TOPIC IS because I AM HAVING THIS FEELING THAT THE CHANGE IS TAKING SO LONG AND OF IT WAS NORMAL, I get regular job alerts on my mails everyday which i've apllied but no response yet,infact as i type more info is comin in,like kakawa discount house is recruiting,wema bank nd afribank.which i am goin 2 apply nd i know God will do it. I will neva sell my body,i don't need u pityin me,Are we quarellin? Oga o,

BS: If the reason why you wanto have a one night stand with that guy is b'cos you dont have money to sustain yourself at the moment, then dont worry yourself . I can send you $50usd for you to use in taking care of yourself at the moment. then when you'r ready for a boyfriend, u take your time, be careful and choose a good, lovin and caring guy of YOUR choice. END OFF !!!

@eniola

Why don't u get this money first? At least it will help you at the moment. $50=N7,500

This will help you move around in search of jobs. Nobody gets job while sitting at home. Move around, make friends and apply for jobs anywhere.

I wish u all d best.

Let us pray

@poster ur idea about life is faulty, BEEN A VIRGIN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GETTING D BEST IN LIFE, AND NOT BEEN A VIRGIN ALSO DOESNT GUARANTEE ANY SUCCESS IN LIFE, HAVING A BOI FRND DOESNT MEAN U WILL SLEEP WITH HIM BUT HAVING D RIGHT GUY IS BEST, DONT EVER THINK COS U R A VIRGIN DATS Y U NEVA GET JOB OR DIS OR DAT, DATS COMPLETELY USELESS, DER IS NO JOB ANYWHERE, U MAY HAVE WASTED MOST OF UR BOI FRND OPPORTUNITY COS OF D WAY U THINK. I PITY U, DONT WASTE MORE, get ur sef a good guy and move and plan with him, simple