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Needs Matured Advice On This - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Please Need Matured Advice: My Parents Are Too Demanding / I Need Matured Advice / RUMBLE IN A FAMILY; MATURED ADVICE FOR DAVE AND CLARA (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Justaskofficial: 8:01am On Dec 03, 2022
Raymond0008:
Just ignore them and show up when it really matters, dem sabi me for my family say I no care!



E be like say you be Olu-omo(only rich person) in that family.
I just dey manage my self ni
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by debbydams(f): 8:52am On Dec 03, 2022
Richy4:
In every smart phones, there are blocked buttons... Use it.. if you don't know where to locate it, ask your neighbours angry
that's harsh grin
The first paragraph of op write up is happening to me, not from a family but from a family friend...I understand op very well
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by phemmyfour: 9:12am On Dec 03, 2022
Justaskofficial:

Thanks ,have been working on that for long!they would turn u to enemy but I don’t care anymore
Just do your best and leave the rest

1 Like

Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Richy4(m): 9:22am On Dec 03, 2022
debbydams:
that's harsh grin
The first paragraph of op write up is happening to me, not from a family but from a family friend...I understand op very well
If he can try and untangle himself from them.. that will do him a lot of good psychologically... Such situations always happen in a knitted family.. most times, they don't know their boundaries... The best thing to do is cut 90% of them of...

This is because there might be time he will definitely need some of them... Block the main trouble makers, Keep a docile one that will be supplying information about the family in terms of good things happening like weddings etc within the family...{u will attend the ones that U can}..

If his pastor comes and brings sermon on how the scriptures says that it is good for brothers to dwell in Unity... He should counter it by saying that instead of your left hand to lead you to hell cut it off.. he doesn't want to go to hell hence his desire to cut his left hand off smiley

2 Likes

Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by debbydams(f): 11:18am On Dec 03, 2022
Richy4:

If he can try and untangle himself from them.. that will do him a lot of good psychologically... Such situations always happen in a knitted family.. most times, they don't know their boundaries... The best thing to do is cut 90% of them of...

This is because there might be time he will definitely need some of them... Block the main trouble makers, Keep a docile one that will be supplying information about the family in terms of good things happening like weddings etc within the family...{u will attend the ones that U can}..

If his pastor comes and brings sermon on how the scriptures says that it is good for brothers to dwell in Unity... He should counter it by saying that instead of your left hand to lead you to hell cut it off.. he doesn't want to go to hell hence his desire to cut his left hand off smiley
well said
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Sucre6: 11:29am On Dec 03, 2022
Not to disrespect for ur family or anything but no one can say sh!t or make any decision in my house, both my family or kinsmen no reach, I would lock them out of my gate, when they shout tire, dem go go, I will leave in peace with my wife and family, that's your new family, you have tried for your father and other siblings, you would not kill yourself for them,, u are too calm for my liking, you. Family is out to ruin your life

2 Likes

Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by westlius(m): 1:52pm On Dec 03, 2022
Relocate to a new apartment dont tell dem d addresses

1 Like

Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Chinny024(f): 6:10pm On Dec 03, 2022
Make money,japa with with ur family.. Make I see who go give them visa to come ur house and create nuisance..

You can still be man enough to take decision in ur family...Ur decision stands even if you are living face to face with them!!!

2 Likes

Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by frozen70(f): 9:59pm On Dec 03, 2022
Justaskofficial:
I will try to be very brief ,Had to create a new account for this because at this junction I am confused but trying to stay strong!

My family is my problem..I came from a family that they like problems, if they notice you are having peace they would make sure you are not settled ..they believe if a couple are focused and agreed !they believe the wife is controlling the husband (Spiritual fallacy).

.!for everything have done for them has been used against me !2015 i got a land through my parent and ended up been scammed and lost so many money!recovered about 100k from 280!

The 100k was sent by my parent to her account to keep.This money was spent by my own sister till date no permission ?no accountability for the money !


I gave money about 400k to my father to start up a business and till date no accountability,no business!money gone...

I squatted my younger sister when she and her husband had housing problem for a year but she ended up telling me I sold one of her husband’s laptop ..I had to confront them and they started apologizing ..
There are more but I can’t be typing it all

Now i don’t have savings anymore and I am tired ,then decided to focus on my life and stop telling them things !immediately I started doing this ,they started giving me trouble saying my wife is controlling me,that she has lock me (this spiritual stuff)..someone who is innocent of all this have started been blamed for my decision of keeping them away!i actually was doing that to protect her because I know who they are ..

They sent my wife text to leave the house ,that they have reported her to her family and if she refuse they would come !

How do I handle this situation because I am pissed already !and they keep pushing me away the more ,it’s not easy to relocate ,I stay a bit far away from them .I have been living alone since 2015,I was actually chased out by my father..there is lot to say

Have also called and made this clear to them that this is my decision but they insisted that she is using jazz for me !

Why are they petty? Why are they not organized?

I am so angry but can’t say too much because they are getting out of hands

Please how do I stop them from constituting nuisance ?

No insults please

My question is, are you too weak or you are too soft that one idiot or groups of idiots will send a message to your wife to leave your house, and you are not yet planning on how to arrange thugs in the street to be on guard incase they come you alert them

See, stand firm as a man to face that idiot that will come to chase your wife

Stay and face that person or persons, let's see if heaven will fall

They are not happy people and they know that your wife is your joy, so they want to remove her from your life so that you will remain as sad as they are

Dont call them to challenge them, but wait for them let them come with their legs

Arrange guys to beat them to stupor

That will end all madness from them

2 Likes

Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Justaskofficial: 8:00am On Dec 04, 2022
frozen70:


My question is, are you too weak or you are too soft that one idiot or groups of idiots will send a message to your wife to leave your house, and you are not yet planning on how to arrange thugs in the street to be on guard incase they come you alert them

See, stand firm as a man to face that idiot that will come to chase your wife

Stay and face that person or persons, let's see if heaven will fall

They are not happy people and they know that your wife is your joy, so they want to remove her from your life so that you will remain as sad as they are

Dont call them to challenge them, but wait for them let them come with their legs

Arrange guys to beat them to stupor

That will end all madness from them

That’s the very thing it will end up resulting to! Thanks , I will be waiting for the day they will absurdly come and what ever they see, they should face it
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Justaskofficial: 8:05am On Dec 04, 2022
Sucre6:
Not to disrespect four family or anything but no one can say sh!t or make any decision in my house, both my family or kinsmen no reach, I would lock them out of my gate, when they shout tire, dem go go, I will leave in peace with my wife and family, that's your new family, you have tried for your father and other siblings, you would not kill yourself for them,, u are too calm for my liking, you. Family is out to ruin your life

I am not calm , the people they reported me to were the one calming me down .. but I will definitely act if they act stupidly
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Justaskofficial: 8:08am On Dec 04, 2022
westlius:
Relocate to a new apartment dont tell dem d addresses

I just got to this new apartment ! And didn’t know they would act like this.i wil have to face them blatantly... I will chase them away
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Justaskofficial: 8:11am On Dec 04, 2022
Richy4:

If he can try and untangle himself from them.. that will do him a lot of good psychologically... Such situations always happen in a knitted family.. most times, they don't know their boundaries... The best thing to do is cut 90% of them of...

This is because there might be time he will definitely need some of them... Block the main trouble makers, Keep a docile one that will be supplying information about the family in terms of good things happening like weddings etc within the family...{u will attend the ones that U can}..

If his pastor comes and brings sermon on how the scriptures says that it is good for brothers to dwell in Unity... He should counter it by saying that instead of your left hand to lead you to hell cut it off.. he doesn't want to go to hell hence his desire to cut his left hand off smiley

I don’t even want anyone of them around me ! They are staining in nature
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by frozen70(f): 10:40am On Dec 04, 2022
Justaskofficial:


That’s the very thing it will end up resulting to! Thanks , I will be waiting for the day they will absurdly come and what ever they see, they should face it

That's exactly the point
It takes madness to correct nonsense

1 Like

Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Richy4(m): 10:56am On Dec 04, 2022
Justaskofficial:


I don’t even want anyone of them around me ! They are staining in nature

I can imagine how U feel but I will suggest that you don't burn down all the bridges...U might need one to cross someday back to your roots smiley
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Kasdat5(m): 11:40am On Dec 04, 2022
doggedfighter:


Where's the abuse in this post.

Point it out .

There were better ways you should have said it for Someone is seeking advice

1 Like

Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by laluski(m): 2:11pm On Dec 04, 2022
Justaskofficial:
I will try to be very brief ,Had to create a new account for this because at this junction I am confused but trying to stay strong!

My family is my problem..I came from a family that they like problems, if they notice you are having peace they would make sure you are not settled ..they believe if a couple are focused and agreed !they believe the wife is controlling the husband (Spiritual fallacy).

.!for everything have done for them has been used against me !2015 i got a land through my parent and ended up been scammed and lost so many money!recovered about 100k from 280!

The 100k was sent by my parent to her account to keep.This money was spent by my own sister till date no permission ?no accountability for the money !


I gave money about 400k to my father to start up a business and till date no accountability,no business!money gone...

I squatted my younger sister when she and her husband had housing problem for a year but she ended up telling me I sold one of her husband’s laptop ..I had to confront them and they started apologizing ..
There are more but I can’t be typing it all

Now i don’t have savings anymore and I am tired ,then decided to focus on my life and stop telling them things !immediately I started doing this ,they started giving me trouble saying my wife is controlling me,that she has lock me (this spiritual stuff)..someone who is innocent of all this have started been blamed for my decision of keeping them away!i actually was doing that to protect her because I know who they are ..

They sent my wife text to leave the house ,that they have reported her to her family and if she refuse they would come !

How do I handle this situation because I am pissed already !and they keep pushing me away the more ,it’s not easy to relocate ,I stay a bit far away from them .I have been living alone since 2015,I was actually chased out by my father..there is lot to say

Have also called and made this clear to them that this is my decision but they insisted that she is using jazz for me !

Why are they petty? Why are they not organized?

I am so angry but can’t say too much because they are getting out of hands

Please how do I stop them from constituting nuisance ?

No insults please

I can't believe what I read at times here from individuals who call themselves MEN
1. Your papa throw you out when you were younger... Your mama no talk nor fight tooth and nail on your behalf..
2. You got scammed by your own family
3. Your useless sister accused you of stealing a laptop while she was squatting with you..
4. Not to mention the other numerous extra wahala that I'm not even interested in reading..
Now they're adding your wife to the mix and you come here for advice..
If I were your wife's younger or elder brother I will beat sense Into you and warn you that if anything happens to my sister, I'll break your head since you're not man enough to handle your shit...
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Justaskofficial: 2:59pm On Dec 04, 2022
Richy4:


I can imagine how U feel but I will suggest that you don't burn down all the bridges...U might need one to cross someday back to your roots smiley

There is no bridge at all
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Justaskofficial: 3:02pm On Dec 04, 2022
laluski:


I can't believe what I read at times here from individuals who call themselves MEN
1. Your papa throw you out when you were younger... Your mama no talk nor fight tooth and nail on your behalf..
2. You got scammed by your own family
3. Your useless sister accused you of stealing a laptop while she was squatting with you..
4. Not to mention the other numerous extra wahala that I'm not even interested in reading..
Now they're adding your wife to the mix and you come here for advice..
If I were your wife's younger or elder brother I will beat sense Into you and warn you that if anything happens to my sister, I'll break your head since you're not man enough to handle your shit...

There are times ! When you stay away from people like that , you might think staying away means they are gone .. u will just feel there is no reason to fight until when they over step!

I am waiting for when they will come and misbehave by then I will act accordingly
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Socratiz: 6:33pm On Dec 04, 2022
Let me add to some other valuable advice which have been given here.

1, No one has a legal authority to send your wife away. Just ensure that you have a k gal marriage. And I think this woman deserved it because she has stayed with you through this harrowing experience you narrated. If you only have traditional wedding with her, no court wedding, she's not safe in this family. In fact, even your children are not safe. If anything happens (God forbid) your family wil throw her and the children to the street.

2. You need to stay away, far away from them. You don't have to employ violence even if they find out where you live and pay an unscheduled visit. Just keep calm and assert your desire.

3. Please I beg you, take good care of your wife and children. Please think of a will. It does not mean you will leave them tomorrow.

1 Like

Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by laluski(m): 10:59pm On Dec 04, 2022
Justaskofficial:


There are times ! When you stay away from people like that , you might think staying away means they are gone .. u will just feel there is no reason to fight until when they over step!

I am waiting for when they will come and misbehave by then I will act accordingly
Better!!! Abeg no dull... This is the reason some guys dey X their family once they japa!! Change number etc.. and this is se reason some evil family members use jazz to control the guy back... Empty handed... Out of Shee wickedness and spite and the worse part they'll see absolutely nothing wrong in what they did
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Justaskofficial: 11:12pm On Dec 04, 2022
laluski:

Better!!! Abeg no dull... This is the reason some guys dey X their family once they japa!! Change number etc.. and this is se reason some evil family members use jazz to control the guy back... Empty handed... Out of Shee wickedness and spite and the worse part they'll see absolutely nothing wrong in what they did

Exactly ,reason why I am being careful with them
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Justaskofficial: 11:14pm On Dec 04, 2022
Socratiz:
Let me add to some other valuable advice which have been given here.

1, No one has a legal authority to send your wife away. Just ensure that you have a k gal marriage. And I think this woman deserved it because she has stayed with you through this harrowing experience you narrated. If you only have traditional wedding with her, no court wedding, she's not safe in this family. In fact, even your children are not safe. If anything happens (God forbid) your family wil throw her and the children to the street.

2. You need to stay away, far away from them. You don't have to employ violence even if they find out where you live and pay an unscheduled visit. Just keep calm and assert your desire.

3. Please I beg you, take good care of your wife and children. Please think of a will. It does not mean you will leave them tomorrow.


Thanks a lot for this !we did court marriage with tradition !
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by laluski(m): 11:25pm On Dec 04, 2022
Justaskofficial:


Exactly ,reason why I am being careful with them

Ok... Hope say your madam no know say Dem dey accuse her of of anything...
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Justaskofficial: 11:29pm On Dec 04, 2022
laluski:


Ok... Hope say your madam no know say Dem dey accuse her of of anything...

She knows everything even her family knows !they sent the text to her phone !
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by laluski(m): 10:55am On Dec 05, 2022
Justaskofficial:


She knows everything even her family knows !they sent the text to her phone !
Yepa!!!
Mogbe!!!
I know a man who hasn't spoken to his ENTIRE FAMILY for close to 15 years now.. he block all their numbers.. his family are all in US and we'll to do... This is guy struggling but he no send them
Not to talk of you helping your family ...
Kai this life

1 Like

Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Justaskofficial: 11:38am On Dec 05, 2022
laluski:

Yepa!!!
Mogbe!!!
I know a man who hasn't spoken to his ENTIRE FAMILY for close to 15 years now.. he block all their numbers.. his family are all in US and we'll to do... This is guy struggling but he no send them
Not to talk of you helping your family ...
Kai this life

Life isn’t balanced ! I no send again like this o
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by MumEmdy(f): 2:00pm On Dec 05, 2022
In all this you didn't mention your mom, Incase she is reasonable and considerate towards you please don't block her with the rest . Wishing you a peace resolution.
Re: Needs Matured Advice On This by Justaskofficial: 10:16pm On Dec 05, 2022
MumEmdy:
In all this you didn't mention your mom, Incase she is reasonable and considerate towards you please don't block her with the rest . Wishing you a peace resolution.

Mum was the main person who started this

1 Like

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