Although most abusive relationships may cause physical or mental damage, it is kind of hard to generalise as to why these people find themselves entrapped in such misery!

Most cases could stem from childhood experiences perhaps a child growing up in an abusive household and therefore tends to delve further into that psyche of 'normality'.

In other cases it could relate to what some may call LOVE and INFATUATION therefore would rather suffer the consequences than risk losing the abuser.

Whatever, the case we can all agree that these  people whether male or female lack self-esteem/self-worth and self-value because no matter what happens in life they can take anything from you but they can never take away your self-dignity unless you allow them to!

I believe that this trend in character among ladies is caused as a result of parental background/upbringing, most of these ladies see a guy that abuses them physically as a father figure in their lifes that the only means of telling them when they are wrong is by beating them , but to me ooo, such ladies really need to have their heads checked.

Some reasons are:
Low self esteem
Growing up in an abusive relationship {parents lifestyle or sexual abuse and rape at a tender age}
Fear of ending the relationship [Lack of self confidence}
Reassurance and excessive display of love after the beating.

Isnt TIti Akolades case enough reason for any sane woman to know that a man who beats is no husband/boyfriend but a beast? Must a relationship be a do or die affair? Its wise to walk away and look forward to a better day but good to go for counselling cos they may also have some inherent problems which makes the beating happen. A word is enough for the wise.

I ll tell you exactly why. It's because abusive guys are great lovers(yes in bed) and know how to put on the charm When they are not being abusive. Plus women just love the drama and unpredictability.

@ShipIT I doubt any sane person loves the 'drama and unpredictability' of an abusive relationship and if they did psychiatric diagnosis should be advised pronto!

It is a deep rooted psychological matter that can only be explained by the ladies who are in serious abusive relationships.

I think Psychology has quite a lot to do with this. some of these girls are afraid to let go becasue they feel the devil (boyfriend) they know is better than the new man they dont know. Same thing probably happened to that poor banker girl murdered by her husband, who had experienced repeated brutalisations by the man before her eventual death. I dont agree with any man who thinks beating a lady is cool, if he is such a macho, let him confront some boko na RAM folk and test his masculinity.

The way i see it, any girl who sticks to a man that beats her is the sick one, and I really have no sympathy for her. (unfortunately)

Some girls think it makes the bond stronger.

Poster, hi I would balance my statement, because yes some girls overcome the boundaries ( trying to fight in public, insulting elders) ok but for me the smarter person would be those who don't pay any attention to any hysteric attitude! a strong person is the one who can control herself

That babe must be an Ediot . . .

i beat my grl evrytime sh demands for 95k for brazilian hair, i prefer lybian hair instead,perhaps dt of ghadafi's daughter.

Oboy sometimes girls will insult you if are too nice to them i no that already, but girls love bad boys like me who beat them at any provocation you cant spend my money and diss me or don't have respect for me,you go hear am

ak47mann lol

Nayah:

ak47mann lol

sweety am a good boy u no, but i turn bad wen my girl disrespect me

you scared me lol no I'm joking just read my previous comment and I do agree with you

Nayah:

you scared me lol no I'm joking just read my previous comment and I do agree with you

Cos Pain is love

ShipIt:

I ll tell you exactly why. It's because abusive guys are great lovers(yes in bed) and know how to put on the charm When they are not being abusive. Plus women just love the drama and unpredictability.

Exactly!
Plus, the beating for them (girls) is so so romantic, der is!

Many reasons. She could have been raised in a home where that was the norm. She could have been abused as a child and has no sense of self worth.

Why would a girl stick with an abusive guy?Its really a mystery.

I don't and i will never date girls that cant do without nagging, lieing, bleeping around, Cuz if i do. I'l just beat the SHIT out of her,

A guy that regularly beat his girl and one day further humiliated her by sleeping with her in front of some of his friends. Believe me, she still finds it difficult to detach herself from this guy. I later hear that the guy's man thing is horse size.

I think access to some good things come with sacrifices.

so d girl endured d beating cos of sex?

dapojaja:

A guy that regularly beat his girl and one day further humiliated her by sleeping with her in front of some of his friends. Believe me, she still finds it difficult to detach herself from this guy. I later hear that the guy's man thing is horse size.

I think access to some good things come with sacrifices.

Yeah she is just a freak

sometimes i think those women have secrets they'd rather be beaten up for than blackmailed for

Many of them see physical abuse as a sign of strenght. I was told of some one who has a gf who disregards him because when she misbehaves, he refuses to beat her. But when he started beating her, she loved him more. In fact that night the love making session would be terrific. Many ladies are masochist but they don't know it.

Most have low self esteem. For example, we have heard of cases were a father continually abuse their daughters for years. The question often why did they not run away. It is dominance, the father by beating then establishing dominance forcing them to fall in line. Human beings are animals without proper human social interaction.

Coming back to the subject, one likely scenario is that the guy is usually older than the girl hence can easily manipulate her. The guy is probably the one who broke her virginity and the only sex partner she has ever had. She has been pregnant for this guy severally and has conducted several abortions. She may have even lost her womb in the process.

Because this guy is a lot older, he has had a lot of time to establish dominance in the relationship, making himself the centre of the universe for the girl. So the girl will remain there until the guy is done with her. If the girl has lost her womb she may feel worthless and take anything just to be with the guy.

vislabraye:

Many of them see physical abuse as a sign of strenght. I was told of some one who has a gf who disregards him because when she misbehaves, he refuses to beat her. But when he started beating her, she loved him more. In fact that night the love making session would be terrific. Many ladies are masochist but they don't know it.

Hmm. Someone just told me something similar. A friend of his is the mistress of this other man. He treats his wife well but when his girlfriend does not pick up the phone after he calls a few times he drives to her house and gives her a serious beating. The old mumu of a mistress loves men that do that sort of thing. She claims that's how he shows his love. He is married to an oyibo that he does not step out of line with but his African American mistress gets her bum whooped when she does not return his calls quick enough. If she even considers dating anyone else he will probably put a bullet in her head

some women on my mother's island believe in the following mumu philosophy:

'if a man doesn't beat you, he doesn't love you!'

my mom heard it being said throughout the 70's and its still being said in 2011.

Czar-Chris:

I've seen a situation wher this guy beats his babe black and blue every once in a while, that day will be the day the girl will(after the beating of course) go to the arket and cook a wonderfully delicious meal for the guy with her own money oo . Its really sick, you treat a girl with respect your a MUGU, you treat her like a piece of trash then your the man. I once had a girl who told my friend that I was a very wicked guy, why? Because I don't lay a finger on her when she goes wrong, dat I give her the silence treatment and to her that's worst than beating (considering my martial arts history I felt I was protecting her)

Rofl. .

emotional feelings is one thing that can take hold of oneself and if not carefully handle, it can jeopardize one's whole being. the girls may not really wish to continue the relationship if found it abusive, but she might be too emotional attached to the bad guy to an extend were she can,t control or help herself and trying to stay away from the guy might cause more pains than living with it, though she know is wrong! also, this is not common with girls only, even some good guys get emotional attached to the wrong girls as well. they need the grace of god to overcome this!

emotional feelings is one thing that can take hold of oneself and if not carefully handle, it can jeopardize one's whole being. the girls may not really wish to continue the relationship if found it abusive, but she might be too emotional attached to the bad guy to an extend were she can,t control or help herself and trying to stay away from the guy might cause more pains than living with it, though she know is wrong! also, this is not common with girls only, even some good guys get emotional attached to the wrong girls as well. they need the grace of god to overcome this!