My question is simple: how do you handle a friend or family member who won't attend your ceremony—be it a birthday, wedding, or burial—but only sends gifts and presents?
A friend of mine recently laid their father to rest. I agree to go to the funeral but I decide not to at eleven hours. I send him a wire transfer of money. He was shocked by the amount I sent him, but I think going there in person would have been preferable.
Please understand that it has nothing to do with ego on my part, but I rarely go to events unless they are academic or work-related.

I've only been to two weddings in my entire life. Last year, my girl had to drag me to a wedding.

How do you feel about a friend or family member who sends gifts but doesn't show up to your event?

sirjamesjnr:
My question is simple: how do you handle a friend or family member who won't attend your ceremony—be it a birthday, wedding, or burial—but only sends gifts and presents?
A friend of mine recently laid their father to rest. I agree to go to the funeral but I decide not to at eleven hours. I send him a wire transfer of money. He was shocked by the amount I sent him, but I think going there in person would have been preferable.
Please understand that it has nothing to do with ego on my part, but I rarely go to events unless they are academic or work-related.

I've only been to two weddings in my entire life. Last year, my girl had to drag me to a wedding.

How do you feel about a friend or family member who sends gifts but doesn't show up to your event?

Due to rumors that I feel too large to attend events or eat in people's homes, two of my closest friends have sworn they will never go to any ceremonies I may have in the future. This worries me.
I'm not bothered by their absence from any of my events, but how does it affect things if I show up?

I don't see anything wrong with someone not showing up, but sending gifts.

Samantha123:
I don't see anything wrong with someone not showing up, but sending gifts.

You are not different from other girls
Prefer gift than the actual person
You are a bronzedigger

Okay.

Pells:

You are not different from other girls
Prefer gift than the actual person
You are a bronzedigger

Wotoporiously speaking

For various reasons ain't seen nothing wrong


I rarely go to occasions too

Streetmovement:
Wotoporiously speaking

For various reasons ain't seen anything wrong


I rarely go to occasions too

I am not always comfortable with too many people and an eye on your kind of stuff. I sometimes club but it is always exclusive. We Nigerian are too emotional in nature, I did see this as a big deal.

It creates tension between the two..

Dad was much like that (sending gifts and all that while in absentia ).

It made me a LONER!! (I don't get along with mum either).

They're great parents you'd love to have anyway,, but i wanna be there for my boy or gal (whenever God sends 'em)

sirjamesjnr:
I am not always comfortable with too many people and an eye on your kind of stuff. I sometimes club but it is always exclusive. We Nigerian are too emotional in nature, I did see this as a big deal.

Wotoporiously speaking

Can only be a big deal if I'm available, got the means but I choose not to be present, but otherwise it's no big deal for me and I'm never concern about what the next man or woman things if I eventually show up

Bouncing2:
It creates tension between the two.

Dad was much like that (sending gifts and all that while in absentia).

It made me a LONER!! (I don't get along with mum either).

They're great parents you'd love to have anyway, but I wanna be there for my boy or gal (whenever God sends ''em)

I don't know how to do it, but my babe suggested that I go out more and meet some people. I'm a very friendly person, but I don't make many friends.

Uncle, you need to leave your hole and be going out once in a while. At least attend few events and socialize with other men. No be only to cling to your girlfriend all the time. By the way, una two done do this girlfriend thing for too long now, have you no plans of marrying her? You can talk to me.

Nonexisting1:
Uncle, you need to leave your home and be going out once in a while. At least attend a few events and socialize with other men. No, we only cling to your girlfriend all the time. By the way, una two done do this girlfriend thing for too long now, have you no plans of marrying her? You can talk to me.

. My babe is a career woman, so we will have to wait a little longer, online inlaw. I'm a part of various professional groups where thoughts and helpful information are discussed, so as far as meeting men goes. I'm not much of a social person. Last but not least, how do I gum body with my girlfriend when she is in Lagos and I am in Abuja?

sirjamesjnr:
. My babe is a career woman, so we will have to wait a little longer, online inlaw. I'm a part of various professional groups where thoughts and helpful information are discussed, so as far as meeting men goes. I'm not much of a social person. Last but not least, how do I gum body with my girlfriend when she is in Lagos and I am in Abuja?

Na career we go chop? Ngozi Okonjo no be career woman? Is she not married? What about Dora Akunyili? Peter Odili wife na Judge. She probably was just charge and bail lawyer at the time of marriage meaning she chased and caught her career while married. If una two just want to be committing fornication up and down, just say it instead of throwing career woman jargon on my face.

I understand you, but no be everywhere person dy go, the world evil.
But if e get wertin I dy do and I invite u ( knwin fully we’ll say u dy around) and you no show up, e go pain me o cus I personally invite you. If say u no dy town, dat one na different case.

sirjamesjnr:
I don't know how to do it, but my babe suggested that I go out more and meet some people. I'm a very friendly person, but I don't make many friends.

That's surely the way forward,,
most times you ends up getting aquainted with this randy guys who gets you rocking on a high ,,

Disadvantages are;
Your usual peace won't be assured.
Your conscience tends to be at war with your person whenever you treat people the same way they{most of this new friends} treat people in situations ,,, often times they do treat people poorly! .

marlow1962:
I understand you, but no be everywhere person dy go, the world evil.
But if e get wertin I dy do and I invite u ( knwin fully we’ll say u dy around) and you no show up, e go pain me o cus I personally invite you. If say u no dy town, dat one na different case.

. I am kinda understand you. I know it fun having your paddy man grace your occasion but I prefer sending worthy gift than physical presence. I dislike too many eyes on me. I really don't know how I am going to change. I am going to marry a Yoruba girl like this and they like outings.

Nonexisting1:
Na career we go chop? Ngozi Okonjo no be career woman? Is she not married? What about Dora Akunyili? Peter Odili wife na Judge. She probably was just charge and bail lawyer at the time of marriage meaning she chased and caught her career while married. If una two just want to be committing fornication up and down, just say it instead of throwing career woman jargon on my face.

Baba I no dey bring my generation come this Nigeria, babe is still sitting some foreign exams until japa route is sure. We can't commit to marriage setting. Do you feel me?

Bouncing2:

That's surely the way forward,,
most times you ends up getting aquainted with this randy guys who gets you rocking on a high ,,

Disadvantages are;
Your usual peace won't be assured.
Your conscience tends to be at war with your person whenever you treat people the same way they{most of this new friends} treat people in situations ,,, often times they do treat people poorly! .

. I recently meet a guy at landmark Beach, that guy introduce me to Benin Republic weed. Good three days, I was just a funny guy.

sirjamesjnr:
Baba I no dey bring my generation come this Nigeria, babe is still sitting some foreign exams until japa route is sure. We can't commit to marriage setting. Do you feel me?

Okay brother, fucck on then. Here na jungle but we no dey go anywhere. If I don't make it here where I am free, no be for abroad I go make am, abroad where they regulate where and when I go piss.

sirjamesjnr:
Baba I no dey bring my generation come this Nigeria, babe is still sitting some foreign exams until japa route is sure. We can't commit to marriage setting. Do you feel me?

Senior man, be careful of the bolded.

Just know that if you continue to give excuse of not attending people's party, when it's your turn, people won't come too.

tayo60:
Just know that if you continue to give excuse of not attending people's party, when it's your turn, people won't come too.

. Well in life, we can't have it all, but I am willing to adjust if need be.

Lilsameey:
Senior man, be careful of the bolded.

. I like taking calculated risks.

sirjamesjnr:
. I am kinda understand you. I know it fun having your paddy man grace your occasion but I prefer sending worthy gift than physical presence. I dislike too many eyes on me. I really don't know how I am going to change. I am going to marry a Yoruba girl like this and they like outings.

Normally for marriage no be everybody dy come, if you no want package am make all eyes dy on u, una fit do am strictly invitation, your partner fit no buy d idea sha.

sirjamesjnr:
. I recently meet a guy at landmark Beach, that guy introduce me to Benin Republic weed. Good three days, I was just a funny guy.

Enjoy your new adventure man!
Enjoy the obvious dramas involved

U're just like me. Since i was born av only attended 4 funerals nd two weddings. Funerals of My grand dad, grand mom nd two of my uncles, my aunty's nd one of our choir members' wedding