Cock and bull story ndi nairaland.

The earlier you stamp ur authority on this ur marriage the better for u. 2 years is still fresh, starting now to stamp ur authority isn't late at all.
Tighten all loose ends bro, I repeat, tighten.

Again, we are in Africa and in Africa it is a man's world. If she chooses to deny u sex NEVER u beg her for sex, rather make her understand that u can get it from outside. Her brain will surely reset. Make her understand that u are considering marrying someone else that gives u peace of mind and sex anytime u desire. Trust me, her brain go reset, even her dad will advise her to sit up and save her marriage.

We are in Africa baba, think, think my man.

Realistt:


Thank you so much for this timely advice. To be honest, my wife seriously apologized after everything that happened. I have forgiven her but I do not have anything whatsoever to do again with her parents. Should I still consider divorcing her after her sincere apology?

"Any apology without change of behavior/attitude is mere manipulations". A sincere apology is followed by positive changes. Watch out how she and her parents treat you going forward. Just be vigilant, she might just apologize in order to buy time, then change strategy and means of communicating with her folks. Or if you're a lucky man, she may change for good.

With such evidence of her denying you sex deliberately because of the bad influence of her parents, send her to her parents without looking back, by the time they provide for her needs for one month and she don't have a job, it would give then attitude adjustment they will beg u to come carry her, she will finally respect your stands and never listing to her parents again, demm the consequences

Bro threaten her with sending her back to her parents... Watch her reaction and that of the parent. It will tell you your next move

Realistt:
I've been married for almost 2 years but I haven't really enjoyed my marriage due to excessive in-law interference in our marriage from my wife siblings and her parents. I blamed my wife for what is happening coz she's fond of telling them everything that is going on in our home. One day, I confronted my wife and she said if she doesn't discuss her marriage ups & down with her siblings and parents, who else will she discuss with? Instead of her parents to stay neutral or try to settle our differences as new couples, they rather believe everything she said which gives my wife effrontery to go against me. On the other hand, my own family are after our well being, they always stay neutral on any issue that concern us. My wife parents are terribly bad people due to their negative influence on my wife which is negatively impacting our marriage. Her parents constantly put her under pressure by comparing our marriage to others and by asking her how regular I credit her account even though they are poor. I recently saw a whatsapp chat on my wife's phone where her mother told her to keep denying me sex if I do not meet up with all her financial needs. My wife is jobless for now and all the financial burden lies on my shoulder yet, my wife's mother and father keeps doing everything to cause disunity in our marriage. I already know her parents do not like me and I also DO NOT WANT OR LIKE THEM either coz they have caused MORE DAMAGE THAN REPAIR IN OUR MARRIAGE. Since I noticed that her parents are INGRATE and only care about the MONEY they can get from me, I stopped calling them and stopped sending money to them except if I pay them a rare visit. Dear nairalanders, am I right to completely ignore my wife's parents and siblings like they do not exist and request for a temporal separation from my wife coz I am getting tired already? Plz advice on what to do on this matter.

Cc
Pansophist
Your great wisdom is needed.

Your problem is foundational in nature, these are something you should have observed before getting married, not after. Why did you go marry from such a home? Didn't you date her? as in, not online dating o, but dating her to know more than what she wants you to know about her. Many times, people are the architect of their own problems.

Besides, for her to have the guts to tell her family everything about your home only goes to show the kind of man that you are. I know one thing for sure, and it is that no one will treat you in a way that you won't accept. The fact you come online to complain only goes to show that you have lost control of your home and seem helpless. There are men that won't experience this because their wife knows the kind of man they married.

So you either suck it up /endure strategy (the same way an AIDS patient who got it from an ashawo will do), or you just end everything, easier if there are no kids involved. Next time, look well, lots of idiots are adults, I mean, idiots grow old too. If you want to go the route of sucking it up, then go bumper to bumper, so if she denies you sex, boycott the honeypot permanently, stop eating her food, and see her as an inconvenient roommate. But again, your home will become a warzone, but that's the price you pay for not curing things at their infant stage.

Realistt:
I've been married for almost 2 years but I haven't really enjoyed my marriage due to excessive in-law interference in our marriage from my wife siblings and her parents. I blamed my wife for what is happening coz she's fond of telling them everything that is going on in our home. One day, I confronted my wife and she said if she doesn't discuss her marriage ups & down with her siblings and parents, who else will she discuss with? Instead of her parents to stay neutral or try to settle our differences as new couples, they rather believe everything she said which gives my wife effrontery to go against me. On the other hand, my own family are after our well being, they always stay neutral on any issue that concern us. My wife parents are terribly bad people due to their negative influence on my wife which is negatively impacting our marriage. Her parents constantly put her under pressure by comparing our marriage to others and by asking her how regular I credit her account even though they are poor. I recently saw a whatsapp chat on my wife's phone where her mother told her to keep denying me sex if I do not meet up with all her financial needs. My wife is jobless for now and all the financial burden lies on my shoulder yet, my wife's mother and father keeps doing everything to cause disunity in our marriage. I already know her parents do not like me and I also DO NOT WANT OR LIKE THEM either coz they have caused MORE DAMAGE THAN REPAIR IN OUR MARRIAGE. Since I noticed that her parents are INGRATE and only care about the MONEY they can get from me, I stopped calling them and stopped sending money to them except if I pay them a rare visit. Dear nairalanders, am I right to completely ignore my wife's parents and siblings like they do not exist and request for a temporal separation from my wife coz I am getting tired already? Plz advice on what to do on this matter.

Bro, get a 2nd wife and Thank me later. The 2nd wife must be financial independent. I.e not a liability. U will see how humble she will be. U are a man. Act as a man.

pansophist:
Your problem is foundational in nature, these are something you should have observed before getting married, not after. Why did you go marry from such a home? Didn't you date her? as in, not online dating o, but dating her to know more than what she wants you to know about her. Many times, people are the architect of their own problems.

Besides, for her to have the guts to tell her family everything about your home only goes to show the kind of man that you are. I know one thing for sure, and it is that no one will treat you in a way that you won't accept. The fact you come online to complain only goes to show that you have lost control of your home and seem helpless. There are men that won't experience this because their wife knows the kind of man they married.

So you either suck it up /endure strategy (the same way an AIDS patient who got it from an ashawo will do), or you just end everything, easier if there are no kids involved. Next time, look well, lots of idiots are adults, I mean, idiots grow old too. If you want to go the route of sucking it up, then go bumper to bumper, so if she denies you sex, boycott the honeypot permanently, stop eating her food, and see her as an inconvenient roommate. But again, your home will become a warzone, but that's the price you pay for not curing things at their infant stage.

She isn't downloading everything going on in my home to her parents in my presense. My instinct simply alerted me to investigate what my wife has been saying to her siblings and her mum whenever I am not around. That was what led me to checking her phone only to see the revelation of what has been said. As I am talking to you now, I have left the house for 3 weeks and I have instructed her to pack her stuff and go back to her parents house since they are the one controlling her. She's been sending apology messages while her mum has been calling for several days but I've refused to pick her mum's call. Everyone is telling me to go back home since she's been apologizing. I am still thinking of what to tell her whenever I go back home coz this issue must NEVER repeat itself again.

Realistt:
I've been married for almost 2 years but I haven't really enjoyed my marriage due to excessive in-law interference in our marriage from my wife siblings and her parents. I blamed my wife for what is happening coz she's fond of telling them everything that is going on in our home. One day, I confronted my wife and she said if she doesn't discuss her marriage ups & down with her siblings and parents, who else will she discuss with? Instead of her parents to stay neutral or try to settle our differences as new couples, they rather believe everything she said which gives my wife effrontery to go against me. On the other hand, my own family are after our well being, they always stay neutral on any issue that concern us. My wife parents are terribly bad people due to their negative influence on my wife which is negatively impacting our marriage. Her parents constantly put her under pressure by comparing our marriage to others and by asking her how regular I credit her account even though they are poor. I recently saw a whatsapp chat on my wife's phone where her mother told her to keep denying me sex if I do not meet up with all her financial needs. My wife is jobless for now and all the financial burden lies on my shoulder yet, my wife's mother and father keeps doing everything to cause disunity in our marriage. I already know her parents do not like me and I also DO NOT WANT OR LIKE THEM either coz they have caused MORE DAMAGE THAN REPAIR IN OUR MARRIAGE. Since I noticed that her parents are INGRATE and only care about the MONEY they can get from me, I stopped calling them and stopped sending money to them except if I pay them a rare visit. Dear nairalanders, am I right to completely ignore my wife's parents and siblings like they do not exist and request for a temporal separation from my wife coz I am getting tired already? Plz advice on what to do on this matter.

They are putting you in a tight corner and it seems it's affecting you, your happiness and your marriage

This can cause hatred towards them and make you look like the devil but they are actually then one that is the Devil's advocate

I think she needs to return to them so that she will have all the times she needs to discuss her marriage

When she is ready to build her marriage and her home, she will let you know then she will stop telling them the Rubbish she is has been telling them

If they ask you why you brought her back, you let them know that they have influenced her negatively and it's affecting your marriage

That they are teaching her how to spoil a home so you will prefer she stays with them to avoid anything that will lead to domestic violence in marriage

Having done that, they will realize that you are no longer a fool and they will look for you to come and take her back

That's when you will release all the nonsense you have been hearing and witnessing.

At the end of that they will apologize and ask you to take her back

That's when you will give them the conditions that will make her return back

Which includes

Her getting a job, even if it's teaching so that she can contribute her own quota to the family and that will keep her busy when she has a responsibility to perform at home

Your inlaws need to give you and her a break to enable you guys rebuild your home and your marriage

They should stop ill advicing her against your marriage and mention what you read that her mum told her

And if she doesn't change you will bring her back again and this time around, she may not come back because there wont be vacancy for her again

If they agree to that then you consider her

But make sure you involve your family so that they will be aware of what is happening and go with your family members too

At times we take nonsense from people because you want peace
But if you look deep into that sheet, you will keep getting depressed into nonsense and yet you won't get peace
Still they won't even appreciate the fact that you are tolerating nonsense from them

It takes madness to correct nonsense from people

Ignore them. They are very toxic and selfish lots. Don't make the mistake of begging your wife for sexx. She will continue to use that as a weapon in the marriage. Don't send them money except on very rare occasions and cut communication ties with them too. Till they change for good

frozen70:


They are putting you in a tight corner and it seems it's affecting you, your happiness and your marriage

This can cause hatred towards them and make you look like the devil but they are actually then one that is the Devil's advocate

I think she needs to return to them so that she will have all the times she needs to discuss her marriage

When she is ready to build her marriage and her home, she will let you know then she will stop telling them the Rubbish she is has been telling them

If they ask you why you brought her back, you let them know that they have influenced her negatively and it's affecting your marriage

That they are teaching her how to spoil a home so you will prefer she stays with them to avoid anything that will lead to domestic violence in marriage

Having done that, they will realize that you are no longer a fool and they will look for you to come and take her back

That's when you will release all the nonsense you have been hearing and witnessing.

At the end of that they will apologize and ask you to take her back

That's when you will give them the conditions that will make her return back

Which includes

Her getting a job, even if it's teaching so that she can contribute her own quota to the family and that will keep her busy when she has a responsibility to perform at home

Your inlaws need to give you and her a break to enable you guys rebuild your home and your marriage

They should stop ill advicing her against your marriage and mention what you read that her mum told her

And if she doesn't change you will bring her back again and this time around, she may not come back because there wont be vacancy for her again

If they agree to that then you consider her

But make sure you involve your family so that they will be aware of what is happening and go with your family members too

At times we take nonsense from people because you want peace
But if you look deep into that sheet, you will keep getting depressed into nonsense and yet you won't get peace
Still they won't even appreciate the fact that you are tolerating nonsense from them

It takes madness to correct nonsense from people

Realistt
Kindly take this advice.
Trust me, it will work.
Its time to put your foot down and take charge of your home.
Her parents will be the one begging you to take her back cos she will be a liability to them.

peepydelano:
It’s always good to look into the family you are picking a wife from (especially the mother) but most guys are always carried away by lust. This your wahala go looooooongggg ehn but may almighty Allah see you through.

Aswear Some Families are winch !

Marriage wahala

samuelson06:
You have to also look inward to see if you are not contributing to the problem with your inlaw in any way. I'm saying this because you sound rude and insensitive.

If you and your wife are really in love and committed to the relationship, I don't quite see the issues here that you guys shouldn't be able to solve.

Sadly, my so called wife is taking side with her family members.

PlsBanMe:
Realistt

Listen up and hear me:
1. Tell your wife that her parents are bad people who don't want her to stay in her husband house.
2. Tell your wife that she has to either choose you or her terrible parent.
3. If she refuse and choose her parent, do not at all raise your voice. Raise your actions by doing the following:
I. Ban her parents from your house and stop picking their calls.
II. STOP giving your wife money and stop demanding for intercourse.
III. You will need to start eating.
IV. Completely ignore your wife. If she ask you for money, tell her to ask her family.
4. Your wife may actually change for the better or pack and go back to her parents.
5. If she go back, don't ever call her or send her any messages. Completely ignore her. If she refuse to come back for ten days, send her a message asking her to come and pack her load from your house since she has decided to divorce and go back home.

PS: You need to be tough at the beginning of your marriage so your wife understands your YES is YES and NO is NO.

Don't let your parents sweet talk you to soft pedal while you deal with your wife. It is your life.

I assure you that if you do these above, your wife may either come back and go for good, either which is a good thing.

You have only one life. Live it not to please anyone but to get happiness. Don't ever allow some useless in laws to dictate your home or happiness. Tell them to their face if it comes to it that it is always the husband mum in most homes who disturb the wife and not the parents of the wife disturbing the happiness of the husband.

Tell them too that some men when they marry some women get gifts like cars and houses from the parents of their wives and not disturbance for finances like they are doing to you.

I wish you happiness.

Thank you so much for this timely advice. God bless you 🙏

My opinion is that you should talk to your wife. Let her know that your marriage is between you both and you do not appreciate her reporting what is going on in your home with anyone. In addition, don't go visit her parents anymore and anytime they call you, cut the call so that they get to know you are not busy but you just don't want to talk to them. If they decide to come see you to discuss whatever it is, let them know you do not appreciate their interference.