I've been married for almost 2 years but I haven't really enjoyed my marriage due to excessive in-law interference in our marriage from my wife siblings and her parents. I blamed my wife for what is happening coz she's fond of telling them everything that is going on in our home. One day, I confronted my wife and she said if she doesn't discuss her marriage ups & down with her siblings and parents, who else will she discuss with? Instead of her parents to stay neutral or try to settle our differences as new couples, they rather believe everything she said which gives my wife effrontery to go against me. On the other hand, my own family are after our well being, they always stay neutral on any issue that concern us. My wife parents are terribly bad people due to their negative influence on my wife which is negatively impacting our marriage. Her parents constantly put her under pressure by comparing our marriage to others and by asking her how regular I credit her account even though they are poor. I recently saw a whatsapp chat on my wife's phone where her mother told her to keep denying me sex if I do not meet up with all her financial needs. My wife is jobless for now and all the financial burden lies on my shoulder yet, my wife's mother and father keeps doing everything to cause disunity in our marriage. I already know her parents do not like me and I also DO NOT WANT OR LIKE THEM either coz they have caused MORE DAMAGE THAN REPAIR IN OUR MARRIAGE. Since I noticed that her parents are INGRATE and only care about the MONEY they can get from me, I stopped calling them and stopped sending money to them except if I pay them a rare visit. Dear nairalanders, am I right to completely ignore my wife's parents and siblings like they do not exist and request for a temporal separation from my wife coz I am getting tired already? Plz advice on what to do on this matter.

It’s always good to look into the family you are picking a wife from (especially the mother) but most guys are always carried away by lust. This your wahala go looooooongggg ehn but may almighty Allah see you through.

How can u marry a woman whose family are after ur destruction? Since u knew earlier that they don't like u,u still went ahead to marry her.

U have the heart of a lion to bear all these barrage of bullets thrown at u.

Allow your wife to go and work and so that she too would understand the present economy we are in.

I hope some young men out there can learn from this brothers travail and be careful whom they chose to marry in future.

peepydelano:
It’s always good to look into the family you are picking a wife from (especially the mother) but most guys are always carried away by lust. This your wahala go looooooongggg ehn but may almighty Allah see you through.

True but better put, always look into the family you are marrying into.

Realistt:
I've been married for almost 2 years but I haven't really enjoyed my marriage due to excessive in-law interference in our marriage from my wife siblings and her parents. I blamed my wife for what is happening coz she's fond of telling them everything that is going on in our home. One day, I confronted my wife and she said if she doesn't discuss her marriage ups & down with her siblings and parents, who else will she discuss with? Instead of her parents to stay neutral or try to settle our differences as new couples, they rather believe everything she said which gives my wife effrontery to go against me. On the other hand, my own family are after our well being, they always stay neutral on any issue that concern us. My wife parents are terribly bad people due to their negative influence on my wife which is negatively impacting our marriage. Her parents constantly put her under pressure by comparing our marriage to others and by asking her how regular I credit her account even though they are poor. I recently saw a whatsapp chat on my wife's phone where her mother told her to keep denying me sex if I do not meet up with all her financial needs. My wife is jobless for now and all the financial burden lies on my shoulder yet, my wife's mother and father keeps doing everything to cause disunity in our marriage. I already know her parents do not like me and I also DO NOT WANT OR LIKE THEM either coz they have caused MORE DAMAGE THAN REPAIR IN OUR MARRIAGE. Since I noticed that her parents are INGRATE and only care about the MONEY they can get from me, I stopped calling them and stopped sending money to them except if I pay them a rare visit. Dear nairalanders, am I right to completely ignore my wife's parents and siblings like they do not exist and request for a temporal separation from my wife coz I am getting tired already? Plz advice on what to do on this matter.

.

Bro, you are in for a long and bumpy ride. You really have to pray and ask God for direction on this. I wish you well.

Send their daughter to them. A month of stay with them and their attitude will send her running back home. The separation will reset her brain and tell her where her best interests are

You have to also look inward to see if you are not contributing to the problem with your inlaw in any way. I'm saying this because you sound rude and insensitive.

If you and your wife are really in love and committed to the relationship, I don't quite see the issues here that you guys shouldn't be able to solve.

Family members should be the last people u go to wen u have downs in ur marriage, seek d counsel of persons who can't be bias like her mentor or someone she respects alot that is not related to her
And make it plain to her that she can't be telling outsiders of any little quarrel u have, na wetin dey cause see finish b dat

You have to also look inward to see if you are not contributing to the problem with your inlaw in any way. I'm saying this because you sound rude and insensitive.

If you and your wife are really in love and committed to the relationship, I don't quite see the issues here that you guys shouldn't be able to solve. [/quote]

I am not rude in any way. I am just been FACTUAL. I have tried to have discussion with my wife but she feels incomplete without discussing her marriage issues with her family.

You want advise but you have not given us detail of what happened. You haven’t said anything in your write up.

See how you painted your family good and talk ill about your wife's family. Nawa o .
For her mother to tell her to deny you sex speaks volume, u must have done something terrible to her. Biko tell us?

I can see you are pained because your wife is so close to her family more than you. Communication is one of the keys to successful marriage.

I wish you luck

I said it here the other day, the worst thing that can happen to anyone is bad in-laws. Bad in-laws that enable a (bad) spouse.

Best believe you would never have peace in your home. Your wife herself won’t have sense until you leave. Then they would leave her to deal with the pains alone.

michlins:
Send their daughter to them. A month of stay with them and their attitude will send her running back home. The separation will reset her brain and tell her where her best interests are

OP, please follow this advise

Naturally, if someone you love keeps telling you bad things about someone, you will think of them negatively.

What exactly is she reporting to them though? Are you genuinely completely innocent? Or is the only issue that they're greedy and after your money?

1. If your work is the type that wouldn't be affected by location, I'd advise you change location and be very farrr from them.

2. Knack her Belle, buy the time pregnancy worry her, na her self she go know.

3. Don't do bad things that will make her report you.

4. Try to make your marriage work.

All the best...

Realistt:
I've been married for almost 2 years but I haven't really enjoyed my marriage due to excessive in-law interference in our marriage from my wife siblings and her parents. I blamed my wife for what is happening coz she's fond of telling them everything that is going on in our home. One day, I confronted my wife and she said if she doesn't discuss her marriage ups & down with her siblings and parents, who else will she discuss with? Instead of her parents to stay neutral or try to settle our differences as new couples, they rather believe everything she said which gives my wife effrontery to go against me. On the other hand, my own family are after our well being, they always stay neutral on any issue that concern us. My wife parents are terribly bad people due to their negative influence on my wife which is negatively impacting our marriage. Her parents constantly put her under pressure by comparing our marriage to others and by asking her how regular I credit her account even though they are poor. I recently saw a whatsapp chat on my wife's phone where her mother told her to keep denying me sex if I do not meet up with all her financial needs. My wife is jobless for now and all the financial burden lies on my shoulder yet, my wife's mother and father keeps doing everything to cause disunity in our marriage. I already know her parents do not like me and I also DO NOT WANT OR LIKE THEM either coz they have caused MORE DAMAGE THAN REPAIR IN OUR MARRIAGE. Since I noticed that her parents are INGRATE and only care about the MONEY they can get from me, I stopped calling them and stopped sending money to them except if I pay them a rare visit. Dear nairalanders, am I right to completely ignore my wife's parents and siblings like they do not exist and request for a temporal separation from my wife coz I am getting tired already? Plz advice on what to do on this matter.

Bros the earlier you remove them from your thoughts and plans the better for you .
Even your wife park her like a bad car.
You will understand better what I say this as time flies.
Your wife can never change no matter what you do for and to her.
Bad family na bad business

I feel your pain, man up and ignore everybody. They will come to their senses.

During courtship these are the features a man is suppose to look out for
Does a spouse most times goes to bring a third party when you guys have little issues

The three main cause of disharmony is marriages is
Lack of money
Sex
And third party interference

Unfortunately your marriage is witnessing all three

It is the responsibility of the spouse to shield his or her partner from their respective family

After one partner have got to wash the dirty linens of the other to his or her family, how do you want that family to respect the spouse

If there is an issue, the partners may have settled and gotten over the issue but the family would still remember so the beef would still continue

My advise. Let your wife start working.

In this economic dispensation , it is an invitation for disaster to have only one person shoulder the responsibilities of the while family.

Two, how teachable or submissive is your wife. You need to go tell her that as long as she is doing what she is doing, it would rock your marriage to this very foundation

Not men measure love via submission and respect, women measure love via a man's provision

Thirdly, look out and see where u are failing.
I cannot just take your word for it, without listening to ur wife to hear her own side of the story. What is she complaining about, what are you doing wrong. Take the right steps to correct it

Marriage na school so just do ur best not to mess it up

Realistt:
I've been married for almost 2 years but I haven't really enjoyed my marriage due to excessive in-law interference in our marriage from my wife siblings and her parents. I blamed my wife for what is happening coz she's fond of telling them everything that is going on in our home. One day, I confronted my wife and she said if she doesn't discuss her marriage ups & down with her siblings and parents, who else will she discuss with? Instead of her parents to stay neutral or try to settle our differences as new couples, they rather believe everything she said which gives my wife effrontery to go against me. On the other hand, my own family are after our well being, they always stay neutral on any issue that concern us. My wife parents are terribly bad people due to their negative influence on my wife which is negatively impacting our marriage. Her parents constantly put her under pressure by comparing our marriage to others and by asking her how regular I credit her account even though they are poor. I recently saw a whatsapp chat on my wife's phone where her mother told her to keep denying me sex if I do not meet up with all her financial needs. My wife is jobless for now and all the financial burden lies on my shoulder yet, my wife's mother and father keeps doing everything to cause disunity in our marriage. I already know her parents do not like me and I also DO NOT WANT OR LIKE THEM either coz they have caused MORE DAMAGE THAN REPAIR IN OUR MARRIAGE. Since I noticed that her parents are INGRATE and only care about the MONEY they can get from me, I stopped calling them and stopped sending money to them except if I pay them a rare visit. Dear nairalanders, am I right to completely ignore my wife's parents and siblings like they do not exist and request for a temporal separation from my wife coz I am getting tired already? Plz advice on what to do on this matter.

Be 'grateful' that you discovered this early in the marriage. This is exactly what I am passing through. Unfortunately for me, I discovered it after 10 years and 2 children.
You marriage is as good as gone. Just plan your exit strategy. The scenario you described doesn't end well.

Realistt:
I've been married for almost 2 years but I haven't really enjoyed my marriage due to excessive in-law interference in our marriage from my wife siblings and her parents. I blamed my wife for what is happening coz she's fond of telling them everything that is going on in our home. One day, I confronted my wife and she said if she doesn't discuss her marriage ups & down with her siblings and parents, who else will she discuss with? Instead of her parents to stay neutral or try to settle our differences as new couples, they rather believe everything she said which gives my wife effrontery to go against me. On the other hand, my own family are after our well being, they always stay neutral on any issue that concern us. My wife parents are terribly bad people due to their negative influence on my wife which is negatively impacting our marriage. Her parents constantly put her under pressure by comparing our marriage to others and by asking her how regular I credit her account even though they are poor. I recently saw a whatsapp chat on my wife's phone where her mother told her to keep denying me sex if I do not meet up with all her financial needs. My wife is jobless for now and all the financial burden lies on my shoulder yet, my wife's mother and father keeps doing everything to cause disunity in our marriage. I already know her parents do not like me and I also DO NOT WANT OR LIKE THEM either coz they have caused MORE DAMAGE THAN REPAIR IN OUR MARRIAGE. Since I noticed that her parents are INGRATE and only care about the MONEY they can get from me, I stopped calling them and stopped sending money to them except if I pay them a rare visit. Dear nairalanders, am I right to completely ignore my wife's parents and siblings like they do not exist and request for a temporal separation from my wife coz I am getting tired already? Plz advice on what to do on this matter.

Stay away frm d family,bt i cant advice u on wat to do wit ur wife as me ano like nonsense

I keep saying this. Make sure your wife works. Money wey Dem give you and money wey you sweat for no be the same. By the time she works and her family starts billing her, she will have sense by force.

Didn't you see these things before the marriage?

Hahahhahahha

Omo. Things dey happen for marriage world o.

See this one again.



Marry a virgin woman if you don't what to train another man's child.

Check your attitude towards them abeg, hope you're not the problem

ibkayee:
Naturally, if someone you love keeps telling you bad things about someone, you will think of them negatively.

What exactly is she reporting to them though? Are you genuinely completely innocent? Or is the only issue that they're greedy and after your money?

Does it matter what f he's guilty or innocent?
A good woman keeps her family problems within her and her husband as long as it's not life-threatening.


Imagine discussing how she will starve him of sex with her mother.

From your comment, it shows you can do such.

Nonsense talk. Mtcheeeeew.

jeromestarks:


Does it matter what f he's guilty or innocent?
W good woman keeps her family problems within her and her husband as long as it's not life-threatening.


Imagine discussing how she will starve him of sex with her mother.

From your comment, it shows you can do such.

Nonsense talk. Mtcheeeeew.

Well it's an important bit of information and may shed more light on the issue. If he isn't guilty of anything there will be nothing to hide so what's the big deal in asking?

Realistt

Listen up and hear me:
1. Tell your wife that her parents are bad people who don't want her to stay in her husband house.
2. Tell your wife that she has to either choose you or her terrible parent.
3. If she refuse and choose her parent, do not at all raise your voice. Raise your actions by doing the following:
I. Ban her parents from your house and stop picking their calls.
II. STOP giving your wife money and stop demanding for intercourse.
III. You will need to start eating.
IV. Completely ignore your wife. If she ask you for money, tell her to ask her family.
4. Your wife may actually change for the better or pack and go back to her parents.
5. If she go back, don't ever call her or send her any messages. Completely ignore her. If she refuse to come back for ten days, send her a message asking her to come and pack her load from your house since she has decided to divorce and go back home.

PS: You need to be tough at the beginning of your marriage so your wife understands your YES is YES and NO is NO.

Don't let your parents sweet talk you to soft pedal while you deal with your wife. It is your life.

I assure you that if you do these above, your wife may either come back and go for good, either which is a good thing.

You have only one life. Live it not to please anyone but to get happiness. Don't ever allow some useless in laws to dictate your home or happiness. Tell them to their face if it comes to it that it is always the husband mum in most homes who disturb the wife and not the parents of the wife disturbing the happiness of the husband.

Tell them too that some men when they marry some women get gifts like cars and houses from the parents of their wives and not disturbance for finances like they are doing to you.

I wish you happiness.

samuelson06:
You have to also look inward to see if you are not contributing to the problem with your inlaw in any way. I'm saying this because you sound rude and insensitive.

If you and your wife are really in love and committed to the relationship, I don't quite see the issues here that you guys shouldn't be able to solve.

How humble and sensible should he have sound. The idea of them interfering in the first place makes them deserving of every disrespect the young man might be dishing out.

lol

worriedhubby:


Be 'grateful' that you discovered this early in the marriage. This is exactly what I am passing through. Unfortunately for me, I discovered it after 10 years and 2 children.
You marriage is as good as gone. Just plan your exit strategy. The scenario you described doesn't end well.

Thank you so much for this timely advice. To be honest, my wife seriously apologized after everything that happened. I have forgiven her but I do not have anything whatsoever to do again with her parents. Should I still consider divorcing her after her sincere apology?

PlsBanMe:
Realistt

Listen up and hear me:
1. Tell your wife that her parents are bad people who don't want her to stay in her husband house.
2. Tell your wife that she has to either choose you or her terrible parent.
3. If she refuse and choose her parent, do not at all raise your voice. Raise your actions by doing the following:
I. Ban her parents from your house and stop picking their calls.
II. STOP giving your wife money and stop demanding for intercourse.
III. You will need to start eating.
IV. Completely ignore your wife. If she ask you for money, tell her to ask her family.
4. Your wife may actually change for the better or pack and go back to her parents.
5. If she go back, don't ever call her or send her any messages. Completely ignore her. If she refuse to come back for ten days, send her a message asking her to come and pack her load from your house since she has decided to divorce and go back home.

PS: You need to be tough at the beginning of your marriage so your wife understands your YES is YES and NO is NO.

Don't let your parents sweet talk you to soft pedal while you deal with your wife. It is your life.

I assure you that if you do these above, your wife may either come back and go for good, either which is a good thing.

You have only one life. Live it not to please anyone but to get happiness. Don't ever allow some useless in laws to dictate your home or happiness. Tell them to their face if it comes to it that it is always the husband mum in most homes who disturb the wife and not the parents of the wife disturbing the happiness of the husband.

Tell them too that some men when they marry some women get gifts like cars and houses from the parents of their wives and not disturbance for finances like they are doing to you.

I wish you happiness.

Thanks for this wonderful advise.

Na wa ooo

Things dey happen oh...

Come oh, my people, na by force to marry? Why nobody dey answer me na?

This one don kukuma end before dem even do introduction but him dey wait until now to get something to fit open thread with.

Haba