IbeOkehie:


You mentioned TWO Presidents of the USA so I used well known conclusions drawn from data from data in that country. You can't dispute the data. It is what it is.

Perhaps you would care to enlighten us as to why the negative tendencies you're pointing out exist in Nigeria. I have my own theories.

In the USA single family homes tend to be poor.

In Nigeria the vast majority of the population is poor, including traditional families. This is the overall controlling environment, debilitating poverty and DESPERATION.

Poverty tends to produce anti-social, self destructive and delinquent behavior.

Though most Nigerians on Nairaland claim that all Nigerians are rich and all Americans are poor...evidenced by the fact Americans have to borrow to make significant purchases.



So it's a conundrum I suppose. Seriously, I've given you the answer. Poverty has turned the vast majority of Nigerians into immoral, selfish, VENGEFUL and anti-social people....both men and women and most especially the university graduates.

IbeOkehie:


You mentioned TWO Presidents of the USA so I used well known conclusions drawn from data from data in that country. You can't dispute the data. It is what it is.

Perhaps you would care to enlighten us as to why the negative tendencies you're pointing out exist in Nigeria. I have my own theories.

In the USA single family homes tend to be poor.

In Nigeria the vast majority of the population is poor, including traditional families. This is the overall controlling environment, debilitating poverty and DESPERATION.

Poverty tends to produce anti-social, self destructive and delinquent behavior.

Though most Nigerians on Nairaland claim that all Nigerians are rich and all Americans are poor...evidenced by the fact Americans have to borrow to make significant purchases.



So it's a conundrum I suppose. Seriously, I've given you the answer. Poverty has turned the vast majority of Nigerians into immoral, selfish, VENGEFUL and anti-social people....both men and women and most especially the university graduates.

atheistandproud:


I am against FLOGGING OF KIDS because many people

1. don't know how to
2. overdo it
3. only do it when they're angry and transfer aggression.

The problem is not the removal of caning, see the language I used right?

Caning or other sorts of corporal punishments represent consequences. The aim was to teach kids that actions have consequences.

The removal of the consequences of bad actions is where the issue lies. Even here in Nigeria too, in 2018 I swore I would never teach in secondary schools again when a mother came to defend her indefensible child who brazenly broke school rules.

If a child thinks that their actions have no consequences, what do think they'll do? They'll explore more and push the envelope until you see stories like a 7 year old shooting the teacher because she put him in time out.

atheistandproud:


I admit it. We need a reset but that ship has long sailed.

GloriousGbola:


It is however more than poverty as these traits have been evident right from the 80s.

IbeOkehie:


So true. So sad. Everyone bargain for what they can get in the marketplace. Everyone is on their own, judge and jury of your own fate.

The world is a dangerous and different very placesfrom what we all know it was or could be. The future is ominous.

Hassanmaye:

Wow Love this

atheistandproud:


I know where and when to cash out lol.


The future is truly pregnant.

Stawner16:
Damn, man's not getting any younger... Those were the days before social media and western wokeness ruined the fabrics of genuine inter-human relationships and decency.

atheistandproud:


Exceptions do not make the rule.

Now repeat that to yourself.

DropsMic:
Exactly how Jim crow of America destroyed the black family. Till today they still haven't recovered

atheistandproud:


I avoided replying you because you plucked something nonexistent out of thin air and presented it as though it was what I said (strawman). A very common argumentative tactic used on Nairaland.

No where did I state that a family is a marriage. Even a child in elementary school could easily make that simple distinction.

A family is a unit made up of two parents and kids. All academic and medical studies on the subject shows that children do best in a two parent home.

Whatever agreement that both parents have as regards their union is up to them. Whether it's a legal arrangement or an informal partnership. That is up to them.

When that union is split and one parent is left raising the kids, children tend to perform and turn out worse than those in 2 parent homes. Hence the use of the term "divorce".

Divorce is only one of the several reasons stated in the entire article. The others which includes:

1. Glorification of money
2. Setting of unattainable standards by socalled celebrity relationship coaches.
3. Such standards gladly enforced by women

All of which militate against the formation of new families.

4. Breaking down of preexisting families
5. Poor parenting of kids
6. Poor role models for kids

Children growing up under such conditions do very poorly and make up the nucleus of the next generation of the society.

Thus as a result society collapses.

atheistandproud:


And you don finally bring your leg out. Single parenthood doesn't need your defense but here we are.

It is false equivalence to equate spousal abandonment of the past to the willful separation of the present. If we were go back statistics, the number of people raised in single parent before the 2000s was only a minute fraction of the society. A very tiny fraction when compared to monogamists and polygamists.

So if it was prevalent your community, I empathize with you but I cannot relate. Where I grew up and the family I came from, I can trace my linage back 6 generations and I know where my great grandfather is buried. He died in 1965. It's embossed on his tomb.

The explosion in willful single motherhood began in the 2000s and has further gone on. Young men are picking up baby mama culture and young ladies are joining the bandwagon, having multiple children from different men.

What makes it worse is that we do not even have a welfare system to look after these single parent families like they do in the USA.

Children in single parent homes turn out worse. I see it everywhere around now. Zero parental control, zero discipline, zero comportment.

These are the adults of tomorrow. Here you are defending the slide into degeneracy. Continue.

DonroxyII:
All the Odds established are all Effect of Globalisation and Everything is in Order for there is no any cause of alarm to me ....

These are all as a result of Global Cultural Clashes and Cultural Wars going on ....

In this dispensation Many People would die due to lack of preparation and inability to respond to contemporary Challenges of the world because the tools to respond is not in the Gearbox(Mental Faculty) of Many People ..

Nevertheless, The Next Generations of Humanbeing Would Come Prepared as you can see Many Children are Born Woke .....

Globalisation is the Peak of Human Civilisations then the dust would settle with Globalised Laws and Norms then Families would Be Settled and Societies is Settled...

Incidence of BabyMama would be Abolished because the cost of Babymama would be higher than the cost of Marriage while Divorce would be stringent because the cost of Divorce would be higher than the cost of marriage..

Abandon your responsibilities and go to Jail as a Man or Woman ...

You can't born more than your income bracket. Children would be on Allocation based on Income Bracket not Mere discretion...

Polygamy would be Promoted based on Income Bracket same with Polyhandry all based on Income Bracket ....

Eggs would be freezed until couples are ready for fertilisation...

The World would be ruled by Sciences not mere Spiritualism



Welcome to Heaven on Earth

Crumbian:



Your own Nigeria must be in alternate universe for you make that "single parents were a norm even back in the 80s" claim.


Do you even know what a "norm" is?

GloriousGbola:



We have always had armed robbers, killer cops, greedy politicians, cultists, and terrorists.

Where did they come from?

70% of this country is people living below the poverty line. Where did these poor people come from?


But you know the biggest indictment of this ridiculous theory? The army of budding Nigerian youth misogynists raised in traditional family units. In spite of the so called traditional family unit they are raised in the hate women and will justify celebrate and defend violence against women of all ages.

They somehow have bad things to say about all women except their mothers

Jovialjune1:
Personality disorder is real, the ability to shift goal post at will, depending on where the wind blows per week, is a constant reoccurance for them boys here

All of a sudden, baby mamaism isn't the IN thing anymore to nl resident males, I thought y'all said it is better to have kids outside marriage than marrying Nigerian ladies?

What happened to "Marriage doesn't benefit men only women" regular banter on here? I guess sensibility chooses when it will manifest once in a blue moon, before going back to default daftness and senselessness that is rampant for y'all

Bleh......

atheistandproud:
The collapse of the family structure in society will always predate the collapse of a society. This is usually one of the signs to look out for. In communities where the family structure has completely broken down, society deteriorates with it.

You can't fix this one with a swoosh of a magic wand.(donotcopy) This is because this problem is a oroborosian one. The breakdown of the family structure exacerbates the breakdown of society which in turn causes the family structure to breakdown even faster.

In Nigeria here, with the introduction of celebrity culture and the internet going into full swing at some point in the mid 2000s, it only served to worsen and spread(donotcopy) one of the worst tendencies that we have...the worship of money.

Throw Instagram in several years later and a corner has been turned. The first victims of this were unfortunately young people. The ladies in particular who were bombarded with images (usually enhanced or fake) of an unattainable life led by the 1%. They soon imbibed it and made it their standard.

Instagram celebrities like Linda Ikeji also added fuel to the fire. If he doesn't earn in dollars or in 6 figures, dump him. If he doesn't have a car, he's not your class(donotcopy). If he doesn't this, if he doesn't that etc. Soon the young men will fall victim and would now look to attain these standards set by Instagram celebrities and enforced by women. This is on top of the already bogus culture of bride price that extorts men.

If that wasn't bad enough, even people who were already married would choose to impose these standards on their long time spouses, both male and female.(donotcopy) Marriage is no longer about teamwork, it's now about getting one's way. If you don't have your way or you're not happy, DIVORCE!!!

With the hunt for money in full swing and a new phenomenon of divorce rapidly tearing through marriages, there's a whole generation of kids that do not know the comfort and stability of a 2-parent home. The single parents are too tired from working that they simply do not have the energy to parent their kids.

With poor leadership, ever disappearing jobs, zero opportunities etc.(donotcopy) There's only one way to reach these standards. Crime!

In many communities the glorification of crime, discouragement and suspicion of education, absenteeism of fathers (and mothers too), fewer opportunities, impoverished neighbourhoods etc. has become the norm(donotcopy).

Yahoo boys (internet fraudsters), 419-ers (local fraudsters), kidnappers, armed robbers, violent cultists, drug-dealers, ritualists, organ harvesters etc. have become role models for children whose parents have all but abdicated their responsibility.

Without the family structure to act as a buffer between these impressionable young minds and the cancer of societal vices, the hope of any future family structure for future generations tanks even further.

Because of the above, all of these things are factors that lead to a sort of trap that is very difficult to break free of because the young ones are, to all intents and purposes, born into it and will probably never escape it.

JoshuaSG:
The point raised by the OP is a disturbing development that is turning Nigera into a society of uncultured people, who can not aid its development but collapse it. The argument is this: A society with a poor parenting family system breeds uncultured children. And soon, the society becomes a place where a moral-deficient leader lead the moraless.

ibkayee:
Nigeria is the poverty capital of the world, even if women wanted to only marry Nigerian men for money, statistically it wouldn’t even be feasible since there’s no money in the first place. So how can ‘glorification of money’ and 'unattainable lifestyle of celebs etc' be threatening the nuclear family unit when women are getting married to poor/average men every weekend. Also, marriage is too much of a social currency in Nigeria for people to be swayed by a few celebrities.

Can men take a bit of accountability for once, which one is they ‘fall victim and would now look to attain these standards set by Instagram celebrities and enforced by women’. So it’s women’s fault that men are harvesting the organs of friends and family in a bush somewhere to get rich?

I thought some of the main causes for divorce were things like infidelity, lack of communication, infertility blah blah blah.

cococandy:
Marriage doesn’t benefit men. Women are just entitled leeches who are looking for who to love, provide care for, contribute financially to, perform eternal acts of service to etc. Don’t tell us we need to preserve this institution that doesn’t serve me. At all. Preserve the family ke?

beyondbasicsng:
marriages have been breaking down since time immemorial the Internet just made it more known!

I can categorically say I grew up knowing people whose parents weren't together back in the 90s and tbh many people stayed together and "endured" a life that literally destroyed the kids.

I've just heard that a friend refused to get married because his parents who had separated did a number on him. At some point this boy had a nervous breakdown and had to go to rehab! Another one has been married 3x! these are kids who grew up in the 90s!

For me, it's a really bad circle - I've kind of now believe that if you are from a broken home the likelihood that you will have one is also high!

In the North for instance (I'm from there btw) you could divorce easily and remarry without issues - but you're still carrying baggage.

Now imagine all those who grew up in the 90s with a warped family arrangement wherein mother will stay cos of the kids or wherein mother is beaten black and blue, abused, she's molested, she is striped naked etc n her kids see this! Well guess what they grow up to become abusers even worse the mother actually doesn't see their emotional abuse or narcissistic ways as abuse as long as they are not physical by all is abuse.

These kids are broken and are creating a circle of kids that would be broken in future as well - so please don't just say Internet has enhanced divorce and that kids of nowadays will not benefit from a stable home - divorce did exist many years ago and those who stayed created monsters who are still perpetuating mean ways on others!

Broken people break people!

PS: I am not a proponent of divorce, I am not divorced and is not smthing I will venture in in future but I was reminded that people do die in silence so please let us talk about these issues and create awareness about broken people, awful women who encourage bad behaviours and raise sons who then become monsters, let's talk about emotional, financial, physical, verbal abuse. Let's talk about all the ills that would not make a family work and let's also talk about boundaries - people should have clear boundaries that others should indeed accept!

atheistandproud:


And you don finally bring your leg out. Single parenthood doesn't need your defense but here we are.

It is false equivalence to equate spousal abandonment of the past to the willful separation of the present. If we were go back statistics, the number of people raised in single parent before the 2000s was only a minute fraction of the society. A very tiny fraction when compared to monogamists and polygamists.

So if it was prevalent your community, I empathize with you but I cannot relate. Where I grew up and the family I came from, I can trace my linage back 6 generations and I know where my great grandfather is buried. He died in 1965. It's embossed on his tomb.

The explosion in willful single motherhood began in the 2000s and has further gone on. Young men are picking up baby mama culture and young ladies are joining the bandwagon, having multiple children from different men.

What makes it worse is that we do not even have a welfare system to look after these single parent families like they do in the USA.

Children in single parent homes turn out worse. I see it everywhere around now. Zero parental control, zero discipline, zero comportment.

These are the adults of tomorrow. Here you are defending the slide into degeneracy. Continue.

atheistandproud:


I am only responsible for what I say, not what you interprete/understand.

If that's what you got, then I have no energy to correct you.

You're right. Cheers.

oldienavie:

Reading this just makes you understand the problem with Nigeria, a warped educational system leading to a significant reduction in the IQ of the vast majority of the populace.
This is why we have so many religious houses yet, corruption, stealing, murder, yahoo yahoo is very prevalent in our society.

You do not need the bible or quran to tell you that stealing is wrong, the God that you claim to serve has given you a brain, use it and stop behaving like a zombie.

The most peaceful prosperous nations in this world are those that the majority of the population are athiests, but again, I don't expect you to understand, the average Nigerian does not have the capacity for critical thinking.
We prefer to spend our time praying and fasting and waiting for miracles to happen while we steal and loot the government and scheme how to take advantage of our neighbour rather than brainstorming on how to make our country better.

atheistandproud:


You seem to be all over the place in a quest to debunk, so I cannot clearly see the point that you're trying to make.

I wrote about absentee parents but I guess that clearly went over your head.



Imagine equating corruption and greed to bad parenting. Seeing your username, why am I even surprised?

You're the one who's trying to simplify a complex issue so that that you can do a debunk and go on a non-existent victory march feeling smug for yourself.

Seeing as it is that I have no intention of entertaining your shenanigans, this is my last reply to you. Peace.