I can see you fist fighting a woman.

Lax75:

^^^^ It's all about learning to "fight fair." Quarrels should only be a form of communication that stems from frustration and not a weapon to hurt the other person.

What if we could avoid the frustration, that leads to a quarrel to begin with? Holding in things that bother us leads to frustration, even on a subconcious level. Recognizing that there is something bothering you and addressing it
before it grows bigger and leads to a quarrel would be best I think.

Fighting in the relationship is a sign of communication problems and when a couple isn't communicating you will have issues in the relationship.  Not saying communication solve everything but it sure does reduce unnecessary bullshit.

^^^^^

[b]

SOME PEOPLE CALL QUARREL FIGHT BUT I DONT MEAN PHYSICAL, EVEN THOUGH SOME QUARRELS LEAD TO THAT. WELL TO ME WHEN PEOPLE QUARREL IT MEANS THEY ARE OPEN, OUTSPOKEN, IT ALSO MEANS THEY ARE HUMAN AND HAVE DIFFERENCES.

IF 2 PEOPLE ARE TRULY INLOVE , THEY MUST QUARREL SOMETIMES UNLESS ONE PERSON DOES NOT REALLY CARE ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON OR WHAT THEY DO.


QUARRELS EITHER SHOW THAT THEY 2 PEOPLE ARE NOT COMPATIBLE AND THEN THEY BREAK UP IF THEY CANT RESOLVE THEIR DIFFERENCES, OR THEY RESOLVE IT AND BUILD A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP.

WHEN YOU QUARREL, DURING THE 3RD STAGE AND FIND SOLUTION TO THINGS IT WILL BE EASIER FOR YOU TO HAVE A SMOOTH MARRIAGE , BECAUSE WHAT YOU CANT CHANGE DURING COURTSHIP IT WILL BE VERY DIFFICULT TO CHANGE IT IN MARRIAGE.

SO QUARRELS MOST TIMES BRING OUT THOSE THINGS THAT YOU NEED TO CHANGE BEFORE MARRIAGE.

**QUARREL CASES **

GUY:- WHY DO YOU COOK RICE 10 TIMES BEFORE YOU SERVE, IT MAKES THE RICE SO SOFT AND TAKES THE TASTE AWAY.

GIRL: WELL THATS THE WAY MY MUM THOUGHT ME AND THAT THE WAY WE DO IT IN OUR FAMILY SINCE I WAS BORN.

GUY: WELL I AM NOT IN YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR NOT COOKING FOR YOUR MOM .

GIRL: WELL I COOKED FOR MYSELF YOU CAN DECIDE TO EAT IT OR LEAVE IT.

GUY: I WONT IT THEN

GIRL: FINE DONT EAT.

** THEY HAVE QUARRELED OVER IT***


NEXT SOLUTIONS

1, SHE COULD COOK 2 DIFFERENT TYPES OF RICE, ONE FOR HER AND THE OTHER FOR THE GUY.

2, THE GUY COULD DECIDE TO BE COOKING HIS OWN RICE.

3, THE GUY COULD DECIDE TO BE EATING RICE OUTSIDE FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

4, IF ISSUE IS NOT RESOLVED WITH ANY OF THE ABOVE, THERE IS NO MUTUAL GROUND. THEY ARE NOT WILLING TO RESOLVE, NOT COMPATIBLE, THEN BREAK UP IS THE NEXT. BECAUSE AS LONG AS THEY HAVE REFUSED TO RESOLVE THEY WILL QUARREL AGAIN OVER THE SAME THING AND WHEN PEOPLE QUARREL MORE THAN TWICE OVER THE SAME ISSUE , THEN IT MEANS THEY ARE NOT COMPATIBLE.

IF THEY GET MARRIED WITHOUT THIS STAGE, THEN YOU CAN IMAGINE THE NEXT LEVEL OF THIS QUARREL.

HUSBAND: I DONT LIKE THE WAY YOU COOK RICE


WIFE: THIS IS MY FAMILY WAY EAT IT OR LEAVE IT.

HUSBAND: WELL THIS IS NOT YOUR FAMILY NOW THIS IS MY HOUSE

WIFE: THEN COOK YOUR OWN RICE THE WAY YOU WANT IT

HUSBAND: I WILL NOT USE MY MONEY TO PAY BILLS, BUY GAS AND FOOD STUFF AND YOU WASTE IT.

WIFE : WELL TO YOU ITS WASTE TO ME ITS NICE

HUSBAND: I WILL NOT COOK MY OWN RICE, I WILL NOT EAT OUTSIDE AND WE WILL NOT COOK RICE TWICE AND WASTE GAS, IF YOU MUST KEEP COOKING YOUR FAMILY WAY THEN YOU GO AND COOK IT IN YOUR FAMILY HOUSE NOT HERE.

*** THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN RESOLVED IF THEY QUARRELED OVER IT AT THE 3RD STAGE OF THE RELATIONSHIP**


[/b]

Mrs, Chima:

Fighting in the relationship is a sign of communication problems and when a couple isn't communicating you will have issues in the relationship.  Not saying communication solve everything but it sure does reduce unnecessary bullshit. 

well said!!!

mekaboy:

MR, IF I UNDERSTAND YOU CORRECTLY, YOU ARE SAYING YOU DONT QUARREL, WHICH MEANS YOUR PERFECT,

dont misunderstand me, i am saying that when we have misunderstandings, we settle them in civil manner AND if ever we can't resolve them in a respectful manner, then i want NO PART of this r/ship.

YOU ARE ALSO SAYING THAT YOU DONT BELIEVE RELATIONSHIPS HAVE STAGES, SO WHEN YOU MEET A GIRL YOU START COMPLAINING ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU DONT LIKE ABOUT HER IMMEDIATELY.

 

i am saying that i am a very honest individual, i tell it like it is and i will ALWAYS be myself. i sure AINT afraid of women or desperate to be in a r/ship, like the people you portray. women come a dime a dozen and i have a fukcing dollar! any smart man will know that what you start with lies and pretence will usually go nowhere or build shaddy foundation that aint as strong as they "seem" to be.

YOU ARE SAYING THAT A GUY HAS TO TELL THE LADY EVERYTHING AND SHE HAS NO NEED TO DISCOVER ANYTHING.

come on, of course you will always discover things BUT the catch is to tell her your mind as soon as it happens. and, if you are not into it then you MUST let your girl know STRAIGHT UP that you aint into it (or that you dont like it). what you must NOT do is pretend that all is well when it surely aint!

SO IF A GUY TELLS HIS GIRLFRIEND HE HAS HOT TEMPER , THEN SHE WILL NEVER DO ANYTHING TO UPSET HIM FOREVER IF THEY GET MARRIED, SO EVEN IF HE DOES SOMETHING WRONG, SHE WONT EXPRESS HER FEELINGS BECAUSE SHE IS AFRAID SHE WILL PROVOKE HIM?

in r/ship, you first discover people and THEN you decide along the way if you want to stay with them or not. if a person has hot temper then that person NEEDS to work on his/her issues before trying to be in a r/ship because they will always fail (or being in a one sided r/ship). if anyone wants to stay with a person who has a hot temper then they must understand that this r/ship is like walking on egg shell!
you see, a hot temper person would care to understand their partner and would simply explode rather than sit down and have a mature chat about their insecurities/problems.

HOW CAN YOU SAY PEOPLE WILL DATE AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE NOTHING TO QUARREL ABOUT? EVEN TWINS WHO ARE BORN INTO THIS WORLD AT THE SAME TIMES SAME PARENTS STILL QUARREL. ARE YOU SAYING THEY ARE THE SAME AND HAVE NO DIFFERENCES?

i am talking about people who are mature enough to be in a caring and understanding union. what kids do is irrelevant here!
people will have "misunderstandings" in life but its the way they solve them that makes the difference. if you need to insult your partner to make a point then i am safe to say that you guys have a communication problem (like Mrs C said) and also that you have NO RESPECT for your partner.

WELL SINCE YOU SAY THAT A GUY SHOULD LET A  THE GF KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM FROM THE ONSET AND SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO DISCOVER ANYTHING FOR HERSELF, ALSO THAT SHOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING HE DOES NOT LIKE ABOUT HER IMMEDIATELY THEY START DATING.

i simply said: you should be yourself at all times from the onset rather than pretend to be who you are not!
you will always discover things about your partner BUT the difference is to let her know as soon as something is wrong.

IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU HAVE YOU PERSONALITY AND PROFILE ALREADY WRITTEN OUT ON PAPER, SO BEFORE YOU START DATING YOU GIVE THE GIRL THE HARD COPY OF YOUR LIFE TO STUDY AND KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU SO THAT SHE DOES NOT GET TO DISCOVER ANYTHING HERSELF AND YOU WILL HAVE NO NEED TO QUARREL. I BELIEVE THAT IS WHAT YOU MEAN BY BEING REAL- WELL A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT A COMPANY THAT LISTS OUT THEIR OBJECTIVES AND MODE OF CONDUCT, ITS A PROCESS AND IN THAT PROCESS THERE ARE DIFFERENCES AND DISCOVERIES.

i suggest you read back what i wrote above.
what i am trying to tell you is that you should be PROUD of who you are, you shouldnt be afraid to be yourself and you certainly should NEVER pretend to be who you are not.
and remember:BELIEVE IN YOURSELF because if you dont, who will?!

mekaboy:
[b]

I LAUGH WHEN PEOPLE SAY, THAT THEY PREFER TO RESOLVE ISSUES MATURELY LIKE ADULTS, ARE YOU SAYING ADULTS DONT QUARREL ?


ITS NOT ALWAYS THAT PEOPLE TALK THINGS OVER NICELY, BECAUSE WE REASON DIFFERENTLY AND  SOMETIMES THE CLOSER THE PERSON IS TO YOU THE MORE THEY CAN  HURT YOU, AND WE REACT DIFFERENTLY WHEN WE ARE HURT.


CASE STUDY,

A GUY GOES FOR  A PARTY WITH HIS GF , AT THE PARTY SHE SEES HER EX-BF  PROBABLY HE HAS BEEN AWAY FOR A LONG TIME.  HE SEES HER COMES WITH OPEN ARMS. SHE HUGS HIM FORGETING HER BF AND HIS FRIENDS ARE THERE WATCHING.

WHEN THEY GET INTO  THE CAR AND ON THEIR WAY GOING HOME YOU KNOW WHAT THE CONVO MIGHT LOOK LIKE IF THE GUY IS A JEALOUS TYPE.

GIRL: WHAT WRONG WHY ARE  YOU COLD?

GUY: WHAT WAS  THAT RUBBISH ALL ABOUT

GIRL: WHICH RUBBISH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT


GUY : THROWING YOURSELF AT YOUR EX LIKE SOME CHEAP GIRL
GIRL: PLEASE I AM NOT A CHEAP GIRL, IT WAS JUST A HUG PLEASE GROW UP.

GUYl  GROW  UP ? SO I AM NOW A KID RIGHT? YOU SEE YOUR  EX AFTER A FEW YEARS AND YOU NOW CALL ME  A KID?

GIRL: WHATS ALL THIS? WHY ARE YOU ACTING UP  OVER A SMALL THING? ABEG I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS  CHILDISH STUFF.
GUY: CHILDISH STUFF? YOUR  VERY STUPID, IS THIS HOW YOU BEHAVE FROM WHERE YOU COME FROM ? I SHOULD  HAVE KNOWN BETTER.

GIRL: KNOW WHAT? WHAT DO  YOU MEAN? PLEASE DONT INSULT ME

GUY : YES, WHERE YOU COME FROM  THROWING YOUR SELF AT EVERY MAN YOU .

GIRL: WHO IS EVERY  MAN? YOU CALL (EMEKA) EVERY MAN ? - NOTE SHE  DID NOT CALL HIM HER EX INSTEAD SHE CALLS HIM  BY HIS NAME.

GUY: OH, EMEKA, NO LONGER  YOUR  EX

GIRL: WHATEVER.

GUY: DONT TELL ME WHAT EVER , IF U FEEL  HE IS  MATURED YOU SHOULD GO BE WITH HIM DONT INSULT ME, ACTING LIKE A CHEAP GIRL WITHOUT MANNERS AND HOME TRAINING.

GIRL: LOOK  WHO IS TALKING ABOUT HOME TRAINING , ACTING LIKE A KID.

GUY: WHERE I COME FROM WOMEN I TRAINED TO BE HUMBLE AND RESPECT THEIR MAN , NOT TALK BACK AT THEM I GUESS YOUR PARENTS FORGOT TO TRAIN YOU WELL.


GIRL: WELL, ITS BECAUSE THE GIRLS IN YOUR  FAMILY DONT KNOW THEIR RIGHT  BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT EDUCATED, HOW MANY OF THEM ATTENDED THE UNIVERSITY.

GUY: WHAT, DONT BE SILLY, YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER THAT HAVE PHD ,  WHERE  ARE THEY TODAY? DIVORCED WITH THEIR EDUCATION.

GIRL  : ATLEAST THEY ARE BETTER THAN YOURS WHO CANT SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH.

GUY: YOUR SISTER WITH DEGREE IS DIVORCED AS WELL, YOUR BROTHER WITH DEGREE HAS NO JOB, YOU CAN COMPARE MY FAMILY WITHOUT DEGREE  WITH YOURS WITH ALL THE  DEGREES. WHAT DO  THEY HAVE TO  SHOW  FOR IT ?


GIRL:  WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW? THIS RUBBISH CAR? AND YOUR MISERABLE  HOUSE? OH PLEASE

GUY: RUBBISH CAR AND HOUSE? HOW MANY PEOPLE IN YOUR  GENERATION HAVE A CAR OF THEIR OWN?

GIRL: PLEASE THIS CAR IS NOTHING, YOU CANT EVEN COMPARE THIS TO THE CAR EMEKA CAME WITH.

GUY: OK THATS IT, GET OUT AND GO ENTER EMEKAS CAR  IDIOT.

GIRL: PLEASE STOP ME  JOOR NONSENSE , WHO ARE YOU  SEF.

GUY : *STOPS CARE* OYA GET OUT CHEAP  GIRL


GIRL : GIRL FINE I AM OUT  NONSENSE , WHEN PEOPLE WHO HAVE MONEY ARE TALKING THIS ONE COMES OUT.

NOW THIS IS  A QUARREL, THEY DID NOT PLAN FOR THINGS TO  GO THIS  WAY, THEY ARE BOTH  WRONG.  BUT AT THE END THE GIRL REALIZES HER GUY IS A JEALOUS TYPE.

WHEN THEY MAKE UP. THE NEXT TIME THEY ARE TOGETHER AND  SHE  SEES HER EX, AND HE COMES WITH OPEN ARMS TO HUG HER, WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL  HAPPEN  ?



[/b]

she will never hug him o,cos she dnt want problem on her head again

mekaboy:


YOU SEE? YOU CALL IT SIMPLE HUG, TO YOU ITS SIMPLE HUG BUT TO THE GUY ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE.


OK MATURED GUYS THAT CLAIM THEY DONT QUARREL PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW YOU HANDLE THIS MATURELY, BECAUSE IF YOU SAY IT WONT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU TO SEE YOU GF HUGGING HER EX THEN ,


SO WILL YOU TELL HER, ANGEL I DONT REALLY THINK ITS SO NICE TO HUG YOUR EX WHEN I AM THERE?

WELL FOR REAL I DONT THINK THATS HOW A TYPICAL NAIJA GUY WILL HANDLE IT.

lol

mekaboy:
[b]
NOW LIKE I SAID PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT.

YOU SEE ONE THING THIS GIRL WILL LEARN IS THAT , HER BF IS NOT THE TYPE THAT HITS A WOMAN,  SO SHE COULD BE  CONFIDENT THAT EVEN IF THEY MARRY, AND HAVE MISUNDERSTANDING HE WONT HIT  HER.


FOR  ANOTHER GUY, IMMEDIATELY THE GIRL  WILL SAY PLEASE GROW  UP.

THE  CAR  WILL STOP, AND  THE  GIRL  EITHER ENDS  UP  AT  THE PHARMACY OR HOSPITAL , BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SHOW HER PHYSICALLY  THAT HE HAS GROWN UP.

IN ANOTHER CASE, THE GIRL MIGHT SAY, I AM NOT  GETTING  DOWN HERE, THIS  IS  NOT WHERE YOU PICKED ME  FROM, YOU  MUST TAKE ME HOME. THE GUY COMES OPENS  THE  DOOR AND THROWS HER OUT- SHE PICS A STONE ***GBOSA*** THE WINDSCREEN IS BROKEN.

NOW THE GUY MIGHT DECIDE  HE  CANT MARRY THIS GIRL OO, SHE IS A TIGER AND ITS OVER. ANOTHER  GUY WILL SAY WELL I LIKE HER TYPE, SHE IS BOLD, THEN  HE GOES AHEAD TO  MARRY  HER, AND  JUST MAKE  SURE THERE IS ENOUGH  FIRST AID KIT AT HOME  INCASE THINGS EVER GET OUT OF HAND  


NOW EVEN IF THE GIRL AND THE  GUY ARE PRETENDING- IN SUCH A CASE THEY WILL NOT  KNOW WHEN THEY SHOW THEIR TRUE COLOR.


[/b]

lol

190smh:
[size=18pt]Im quarrelling with my girlfriend from now henceforth

where is she

where is she

Baby DID U GREET ME GOOD MORNING TODAY  [/size]

hmmm,lol

mekaboy:
LOL- 190 BETTER FOR YOU OO, YOU MIGHT DISCOVER THAT SHE DOES NOT LIKE GREETING IN THE MORNING, SO YOU CAN LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT IF YOU CAN ,NOT WHEN YOUR MARRIED YOU TRY TO FORCE HER TO GREET YOU.

lol,oga o

mekaboy:
[b] MR, IF I UNDERSTAND YOU CORRECTLY, YOU ARE SAYING YOU DONT QUARREL, WHICH MEANS YOUR PERFECT, YOU ARE ALSO SAYING THAT YOU DONT BELIEVE RELATIONSHIPS HAVE STAGES, SO WHEN YOU MEET A GIRL YOU START COMPLAINING ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU DONT LIKE ABOUT HER IMMEDIATELY.

YOU ARE SAYING THAT A GUY HAS TO TELL THE LADY EVERYTHING AND SHE HAS NO NEED TO DISCOVER ANYTHING. SO IF A GUY TELLS HIS GIRLFRIEND HE HAS HOT TEMPER , THEN SHE WILL NEVER DO ANYTHING TO UPSET HIM FOREVER IF THEY GET MARRIED, SO EVEN IF HE DOES SOMETHING WRONG, SHE WONT EXPRESS HER FEELINGS BECAUSE SHE IS AFRAID SHE WILL PROVOKE HIM?

HOW CAN YOU SAY PEOPLE WILL DATE AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE NOTHING TO QUARREL ABOUT? EVEN TWINS WHO ARE BORN INTO THIS WORLD AT THE SAME TIMES SAME PARENTS STILL QUARREL. ARE YOU SAYING THEY ARE THE SAME AND HAVE NO DIFFERENCES?

WELL SINCE YOU SAY THAT A GUY SHOULD LET A THE GF KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM FROM THE ONSET AND SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO DISCOVER ANYTHING FOR HERSELF, ALSO THAT SHOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING HE DOES NOT LIKE ABOUT HER IMMEDIATELY THEY START DATING.

IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU HAVE YOU PERSONALITY AND PROFILE ALREADY WRITTEN OUT ON PAPER, SO BEFORE YOU START DATING YOU GIVE THE GIRL THE HARD COPY OF YOUR LIFE TO STUDY AND KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU SO THAT SHE DOES NOT GET TO DISCOVER ANYTHING HERSELF AND YOU WILL HAVE NO NEED TO QUARREL. I BELIEVE THAT IS WHAT YOU MEAN BY BEING REAL- WELL A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT A COMPANY THAT LISTS OUT THEIR OBJECTIVES AND MODE OF CONDUCT, ITS A PROCESS AND IN THAT PROCESS THERE ARE DIFFERENCES AND DISCOVERIES.
[/b]

I'm feeling u bro