YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. - Romance (2) - Nairaland
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| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by mekaboy(m): 11:37am On Sep 06, 2011 |
[b] WHEN I SAY QUARREL AND INSULT FAMILIES, I AM SAYING THATS THE EXTREEM, TYPICAL AFRICAN QUARRELS MOST TIMES COULD LEAD TO FAMILY INSULTS AND ALL THAT. PEOPLE MUST QUARREL AT SOME POINT, DEPENDING ON HOW YOU HAVE YOUR OWN QUARRELS BUT THE END POINT IS THAT YOU BOTH MIGHT END UP NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER FOR A WHILE EVEN IF IT IS FOR A FEW SECONDS. THATS THE OUTCOME OF A QUARREL, ITS BETTER TO QUARREL BEFORE MARRIAGE TO KNOW THE DO'S AND DONTS, TO KNOW WHAT TO AVOID, THE QUARREL STAGE IS WHERE YOU DECIDE IF YOU CAN SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH THIS PERSON OR NOT. YOU EITHER PROCEED TO MARRIAGE OR YOU DESOLVE THE RELATIONSHIP. EXAMPLE. IF A LADY CANNOT STAND A MAN THAT HITS A WOMAN, IF THEY QUARREL AND THE MAN HITS HER, ITS NOT ADVICEABLE TO PROCEED TO MARRIAGE BECAUSE SHE HAS DISCOVERED THAT HER PARTNER IS CAPABLE OF BEATING A WOMAN WHEN PROVOKED. A LADY WHO FEELS ITS NOT A PROBLEM AT THIS STAGE CAN DECIDE TO GO AHEAD TO MARRIAGE. THERE IS A LADY WHO CAN STAND A MAN BEATING HER BUT WONT STAND CHEATING, THERE IS ALSO ANOTHER THAT CAN STAND CHEATING BUT NOT BEATING. SO THE QUARRELING STAGE OFTEN SHOWS YOU WHAT YOU WILL LIVE WITH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND IF YOU SEE IT AT THIS STAGE AND DECIDE YOU CAN COPE THEN GO AHEAD. COUPLES THAT DONT QUARREL ARE NOT REALLY CLOSE DO NOT CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH OR ARE FAKE, BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE NOT PERFECT, THEIR WAY OF DOING THINGS WILL DIFFER AND WHEN THERE IS A QUARREL THEN YOU CAN BOTH MAKE ADJUSTMENTS TO AVOID QUARRELS. A LADY MIGHT LIKE TO SLEEP WITH LIGHTS ON WHILE THE GUY LIKES LIGHT OFF, THIS MIGHT LEAD TO A QUARREL WHICH THEY HAVE 3 OPTIONS TO SORT OUT. AT THE FIRST STAGE THE GUY MIGHT PRETEND TO BE OK BY IT. BUT BY THE 3RD STAGE HE NOW SHOWS HIS COLOR. OPTIONS: THE GUY MIGHT WEAR SOMETHING TO COVER HIS EYES WHILE HE SLEEPS HAVE A SEPERATE ROOM OR BREAK UP. THIS IS ONE OF THE ADVANTAGES OF QUARREL, PREPARES YOU FOR MARRIED LIFE AND HELP YOU TO HAVE RULES THAT BUILD THE FOUNDATIONS OF MARRIAGE. WHEN THESE RULES ARE WELL OUTLINED BEFORE MARRIAGE, YOU WILL HARDLY QUARREL IN MARRIAGE BECAUSE MOST ISSUE THAT WILL CAUSE QUARREL HAS BEEN RESOLVED. [/b] |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Nayah(f): 11:47am On Sep 06, 2011 |
not silly mekaboy but this quarrels have to be constructive |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by kiara11: 12:27pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
no |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by mekaboy(m): 12:29pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
LOL  THAT WAS JUST AN EXAMPLE, WE ALL DIFFER AND WHAT WE QUARREL ABOUT DIFFER, THE OCCUPATION MIGHT CAUSE A QUARREL, RELIGION, ALOT OF ISSUES BUT AT THE END, YOU EITHER RESOLVE AND FIND A SOLUTION OR QUIT THE RELATIONSHIP IF THERE WILL BE NO SOLUTION. |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Pweety4me(f): 3:29pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
mekaboy:Blah blah, that's not all it takes, marriage isn't a bed of roses and nothing is guaranteed, people change LIFE happens so we can't fall it down to 'quarrels' even in a RELATIONSHIP it takes a lot of work, so let's be REAL. Perhaps if we can hear form the married folks or who have been, so that we can get valid responses. |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by mekaboy(m): 9:17pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
THIS IS THE MISTAKE THAT MOST MARRIED FOLKS MADE, THEY ARE STILL WONDERING WHAT WENT WRONG, SO TAKE THIS ADVICE AND DONT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE. QUARREL WILL NOT DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP IT CREATES RESPECT AND UNDERSTAND IF HANDLED PROPERLY. LOVE IS ABOUT 1, CARING- YOU CARE FOR EACH OTHER 2, SHARING- SHARE WITH EACH OTHER 3, DARING- SOMETIMES YOU DARE EACH OTHER 4, BEARING- YOU BEAR WITH EACH OTHER. IF YOU MISS OUT ON ANY STAGE THE RELATIONSHIP WILL HIT THE ROCKS AND SHATTER . |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Pweety4me(f): 9:34pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
Come back again when you get married huh!  |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Nobody: 9:43pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
sexkillz: bro, are you saying that anyone who doesn't argue because they understand each other are PERFECT?! come on, think about this for a minute: your gf wouldnt find the need to argue about points that you guys have already talked about and understood from each other. what does a quarrel gonna achieve that a nice mature civil talk can't? what you're going through in your 5yr r/hip is YOUR r/ship, are you now saying that whatever you've been through is the new standard on how people should have a r/ship, while completely disregard what others have been through and experience in theirs? or better yet, what makes you think your next r/ship wont be completely different than what you have been experiencing so far? btw: if you are in a 5yr r/ship while you have been quarreling to see if she is the one then shouldnt you now marry the lady since she clearly has passed all the "tests". . . . . . . .or is there something i have missed about you guys quarreling technique? mekaboy: bro you still make very little sense (to me), why cant you COMMUNICATE with your partner?! is that very difficult to do in your part of the world? as i asked Sexkillz, i ask you: "what does a quarrel gonna achieve that a nice civil adult chat cant?!" EXAMPLE. well what should the lady who cant stand a cheating man do then?! send some run girls to entice her husband? what should a man who dont like a cheating woman do then? send some aristo guy to chat up his girl? or care to show me how quarreling is going to show you that your gf is faithful? or how quarreling is going to show you that your future bride has what it takes to be a good mother? or even better how quarreling is going to show you that your future spouse even loves you? what ANYONE (in their right mind) should do is communicate to their partner about what they require (or not) in a spouse and TRUST their partner. now, if by the "3rd stage" you do NOT trust your partner then you have NO BUSINESS planning to marry this person and should rightfully go on your merry way to find your Cinderella elsewhere. TRUST (another foundation of marriage) is very important in any union, i suggest you look into the word and learn about it because, before you QUARREL with your spouse for pointless reason, to figure out if she is "this" or "that", you should TRUST her words. SO THE QUARRELING STAGE OFTEN SHOWS YOU WHAT YOU WILL LIVE WITH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND IF YOU SEE IT AT THIS STAGE AND DECIDE YOU CAN COPE THEN GO AHEAD. i fully understand that people in a quarrel may reveal a side that you may not like about them but thats what quarrel is all about (and why they should be avoided at all costs), anyone who is going to evaluate their future r/ship with momentary quarrels, while they should rather evaluate ALL THE GOOD/POSITIVE about this r/ship as well, is totally wrong (IMHO) COUPLES THAT DONT QUARREL ARE NOT REALLY CLOSE DO NOT CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH OR ARE FAKE, BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE NOT PERFECT, THEIR WAY OF DOING THINGS WILL DIFFER AND WHEN THERE IS A QUARREL THEN YOU CAN BOTH MAKE ADJUSTMENTS TO AVOID QUARRELS. pls stop talking about what you dont know, your above statement is completely false. CARE has nothing to do with quarrels because, if you DO care about someone, then the last think you would want to do is quarrel immaturely with them, duh! also, perfect has absolutely NOTHING to do with quarrel, it's about UNDERSTANDING. why would anyone quarrel when they can have a talk and resolve a problem in a MATURE MANNER?! why would you need a quarrel to make adjustments?! can't people make these adjustments before getting to a quarrel stage?! how difficult is it for you to use your head and understand what your partner may not like and act accordingly?! A LADY MIGHT LIKE TO SLEEP WITH LIGHTS ON WHILE THE GUY LIKES LIGHT OFF, THIS MIGHT LEAD TO A QUARREL WHICH THEY HAVE 3 OPTIONS TO SORT OUT. AT THE FIRST STAGE THE GUY MIGHT PRETEND TO BE OK BY IT. BUT BY THE 3RD STAGE HE NOW SHOWS HIS COLOR. have you ever thought that "maybe" they should simply resolve the matter like adults, why quarrel about something so flimsy as this?! the guy can sleep with a mask, the girl can have a bedside light shining on her side of the bed, NO BIG DEAL!!!!! the most important issue here is UNDERSTANDING (i guess you definitely dont know the meaning of the word) cant they simply skip the quarrel part and directly move to the part where they solve the issue in an adult manner? also, is there any man in your world that have the guts to voice their minds rather than all these biatch asss pretenders?! this is one of the major problem of your world! maybe people should be honest about who they are (from the get go) rather than pretending to be who they are not only to show their true self down the line. which is a big part of the problem! THIS IS ONE OF THE ADVANTAGES OF QUARREL, PREPARES YOU FOR MARRIED LIFE AND HELP YOU TO HAVE RULES THAT BUILD THE FOUNDATIONS OF MARRIAGE. WHEN THESE RULES ARE WELL OUTLINED BEFORE MARRIAGE, YOU WILL HARDLY QUARREL IN MARRIAGE BECAUSE MOST ISSUE THAT WILL CAUSE QUARREL HAS BEEN RESOLVED. BWAAAHHHHHH are you saying that: in order to outline rules in marriage, you need to quarrel?! oh lawd!!!!! here is a clue (once again): COMMUNICATION/TRUST/RESPECT/UNDERSTANDING. and these are foundations of marriage that you can get without the need for quarreling, you only need to be dating an adult! |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Nobody: 9:49pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
mekaboy: quarrels CREATES respect?! i sincerely hope that you never advise any person in a r/ship because they will surely fail miserably! so if i understand you carefully, if anyone doesnt quarrel then they dont respect/understand each other?! BWAAAAAAAH!!! |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Nobody: 9:51pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
MBJ! You are still getting it twisted! Have made my points! People that agree with it have done so already! |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by pendo89(f): 10:05pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
I think what the op is talking about is testing each others threshold for anger. MBJ,people put up shows while dating and hide their true character. A mad lady will pretend to be an angel while the dude capable of murdering acts like John the baptist. These tests are not 100% guarantees but they give you some taste of what to expect. If we date for 5 years without a single quarrel or argument I will start doubting myself. You want to know how they react to situations.Do they walk away ,give you the silent treatment,knock your head, break stuff,scream,call the neighbours or what That will gauge the kind of person am dating.Remember that people don't change when they marry.Their true character shows up cz they have you in the box. What is wrong with trying to bring out that true character using every means possible when you discover your partner is too good to be true?  |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by mekaboy(m): 10:11pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
[b] I LAUGH WHEN PEOPLE SAY, THAT THEY PREFER TO RESOLVE ISSUES MATURELY LIKE ADULTS, ARE YOU SAYING ADULTS DONT QUARREL ? ITS NOT ALWAYS THAT PEOPLE TALK THINGS OVER NICELY, BECAUSE WE REASON DIFFERENTLY AND SOMETIMES THE CLOSER THE PERSON IS TO YOU THE MORE THEY CAN HURT YOU, AND WE REACT DIFFERENTLY WHEN WE ARE HURT. CASE STUDY, A GUY GOES FOR A PARTY WITH HIS GF , AT THE PARTY SHE SEES HER EX-BF PROBABLY HE HAS BEEN AWAY FOR A LONG TIME. HE SEES HER COMES WITH OPEN ARMS. SHE HUGS HIM FORGETING HER BF AND HIS FRIENDS ARE THERE WATCHING. WHEN THEY GET INTO THE CAR AND ON THEIR WAY GOING HOME YOU KNOW WHAT THE CONVO MIGHT LOOK LIKE IF THE GUY IS A JEALOUS TYPE. GIRL: WHAT WRONG WHY ARE YOU COLD? GUY: WHAT WAS THAT RUBBISH ALL ABOUT GIRL: WHICH RUBBISH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT GUY : THROWING YOURSELF AT YOUR EX LIKE SOME CHEAP GIRL GIRL: PLEASE I AM NOT A CHEAP GIRL, IT WAS JUST A HUG PLEASE GROW UP. GUYl GROW UP ? SO I AM NOW A KID RIGHT? YOU SEE YOUR EX AFTER A FEW YEARS AND YOU NOW CALL ME A KID? GIRL: WHATS ALL THIS? WHY ARE YOU ACTING UP OVER A SMALL THING? ABEG I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS CHILDISH STUFF. GUY: CHILDISH STUFF? YOUR VERY STUPID, IS THIS HOW YOU BEHAVE FROM WHERE YOU COME FROM ? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER. GIRL: KNOW WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? PLEASE DONT INSULT ME GUY : YES, WHERE YOU COME FROM THROWING YOUR SELF AT EVERY MAN YOU . GIRL: WHO IS EVERY MAN? YOU CALL (EMEKA) EVERY MAN ? - NOTE SHE DID NOT CALL HIM HER EX INSTEAD SHE CALLS HIM BY HIS NAME. GUY: OH, EMEKA, NO LONGER YOUR EX GIRL: WHATEVER. GUY: DONT TELL ME WHAT EVER , IF U FEEL HE IS MATURED YOU SHOULD GO BE WITH HIM DONT INSULT ME, ACTING LIKE A CHEAP GIRL WITHOUT MANNERS AND HOME TRAINING. GIRL: LOOK WHO IS TALKING ABOUT HOME TRAINING , ACTING LIKE A KID. GUY: WHERE I COME FROM WOMEN I TRAINED TO BE HUMBLE AND RESPECT THEIR MAN , NOT TALK BACK AT THEM I GUESS YOUR PARENTS FORGOT TO TRAIN YOU WELL. GIRL: WELL, ITS BECAUSE THE GIRLS IN YOUR FAMILY DONT KNOW THEIR RIGHT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT EDUCATED, HOW MANY OF THEM ATTENDED THE UNIVERSITY. GUY: WHAT, DONT BE SILLY, YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER THAT HAVE PHD , WHERE ARE THEY TODAY? DIVORCED WITH THEIR EDUCATION. GIRL : ATLEAST THEY ARE BETTER THAN YOURS WHO CANT SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH. GUY: YOUR SISTER WITH DEGREE IS DIVORCED AS WELL, YOUR BROTHER WITH DEGREE HAS NO JOB, YOU CAN COMPARE MY FAMILY WITHOUT DEGREE WITH YOURS WITH ALL THE DEGREES. WHAT DO THEY HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT ? GIRL: WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW? THIS RUBBISH CAR? AND YOUR MISERABLE HOUSE? OH PLEASE GUY: RUBBISH CAR AND HOUSE? HOW MANY PEOPLE IN YOUR GENERATION HAVE A CAR OF THEIR OWN? GIRL: PLEASE THIS CAR IS NOTHING, YOU CANT EVEN COMPARE THIS TO THE CAR EMEKA CAME WITH. GUY: OK THATS IT, GET OUT AND GO ENTER EMEKAS CAR IDIOT. GIRL: PLEASE STOP ME JOOR NONSENSE , WHO ARE YOU SEF. GUY : *STOPS CARE* OYA GET OUT CHEAP GIRL GIRL : GIRL FINE I AM OUT NONSENSE , WHEN PEOPLE WHO HAVE MONEY ARE TALKING THIS ONE COMES OUT. NOW THIS IS A QUARREL, THEY DID NOT PLAN FOR THINGS TO GO THIS WAY, THEY ARE BOTH WRONG. BUT AT THE END THE GIRL REALIZES HER GUY IS A JEALOUS TYPE. WHEN THEY MAKE UP. THE NEXT TIME THEY ARE TOGETHER AND SHE SEES HER EX, AND HE COMES WITH OPEN ARMS TO HUG HER, WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN ? [/b] |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by pendo89(f): 10:15pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
| @ argument. Emeka has no idea about what he caused by simple hug. @ degrees. |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by mekaboy(m): 10:22pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
YOU SEE? YOU CALL IT SIMPLE HUG, TO YOU ITS SIMPLE HUG BUT TO THE GUY ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE. OK MATURED GUYS THAT CLAIM THEY DONT QUARREL PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW YOU HANDLE THIS MATURELY, BECAUSE IF YOU SAY IT WONT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU TO SEE YOU GF HUGGING HER EX THEN , SO WILL YOU TELL HER, ANGEL I DONT REALLY THINK ITS SO NICE TO HUG YOUR EX WHEN I AM THERE? WELL FOR REAL I DONT THINK THATS HOW A TYPICAL NAIJA GUY WILL HANDLE IT. |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Nobody: 10:31pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
sexkillz: bro and i have raised mine. pendo89: why bring negativity in something positive? what about the threshold for faithfulness? and care to tell me what you will say or do to find the threshold for a physically abusive partner? MBJ,people put up shows while dating and hide their true character.A mad lady will pretend to be an angel while the dude capable of murdering acts like John the baptist. and quarreling with them is the ONLY way to find their true self?! a determined person will play their act like an oscar performance, believe that! These tests are not 100% guarantees but they give you some taste of what to expect. dont forget that it also shows to your partner that you are an immature/inconsiderate person creating BS quarrel where there aint nothing to quarrel about thus messing with a possibly good thing. i dont know about you all but, if there is nothing to worry about in a r/ship, then i will be the last one to bring any BS because of "evident insecurities" If we date for 5 years without a single quarrel or argument I will start doubting myself. thats what you should do, but doubting your partners is where its WRONG! listen to what y'all are saying. we all aim for happiness and joy in our r/ship BUT if YOU guys get it, you will mess it up because something MUST be wrong?! lol You want to know how they react to situations.Do they walk away ,give you the silent treatment,knock your head, break stuff,scream,call the neighbours or what first why would you even have thought of such in your r/ship? second should making up BS quarrels be the answer in finding this out? how will you find out if they will die for you? or if they gonna cheat or not? lol That will gauge the kind of person am dating.Remember that people don't change when they marry.Their true character shows up cz they have you in the box. therefore use proper time to discover who they are rather than making yourself look like an immature person (and possibly get dumped thanks to your silly act)
everything is wrong if it doesnt come naturally due to a misunderstanding. why would you say something is wrong when it is right? why would you say something is bad when it is good? simply to quarrel with a person who YOU know is good/right to begin with?! |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by mekaboy(m): 10:32pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
[b] NOW LIKE I SAID PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT. YOU SEE ONE THING THIS GIRL WILL LEARN IS THAT , HER BF IS NOT THE TYPE THAT HITS A WOMAN, SO SHE COULD BE CONFIDENT THAT EVEN IF THEY MARRY, AND HAVE MISUNDERSTANDING HE WONT HIT HER. FOR ANOTHER GUY, IMMEDIATELY THE GIRL WILL SAY PLEASE GROW UP. THE CAR WILL STOP, AND THE GIRL EITHER ENDS UP AT THE PHARMACY OR HOSPITAL , BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SHOW HER PHYSICALLY THAT HE HAS GROWN UP. IN ANOTHER CASE, THE GIRL MIGHT SAY, I AM NOT GETTING DOWN HERE, THIS IS NOT WHERE YOU PICKED ME FROM, YOU MUST TAKE ME HOME. THE GUY COMES OPENS THE DOOR AND THROWS HER OUT- SHE PICS A STONE ***GBOSA*** THE WINDSCREEN IS BROKEN. NOW THE GUY MIGHT DECIDE HE CANT MARRY THIS GIRL OO, SHE IS A TIGER AND ITS OVER. ANOTHER GUY WILL SAY WELL I LIKE HER TYPE, SHE IS BOLD, THEN HE GOES AHEAD TO MARRY HER, AND JUST MAKE SURE THERE IS ENOUGH FIRST AID KIT AT HOME INCASE THINGS EVER GET OUT OF HAND NOW EVEN IF THE GIRL AND THE GUY ARE PRETENDING- IN SUCH A CASE THEY WILL NOT KNOW WHEN THEY SHOW THEIR TRUE COLOR. [/b] |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Nobody: 10:38pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
@Mekaboy and his story bro an UNDERSTANDING adult will know that giving a hug to her ex will create problem and friction in her r/ship BECAUSE her bf already told her about his insecurities and low self esteem issues. SO, when her ex bf comes with arms wide open, the UNDERSTANDING gf should simply put her hands to show that she cant be hugging him because she OBVIOULSY knows that her bf wouldnt like that.- et voila! it's called UNDERSTANDING AND ACTING THE PART! ps: remember, this can only be achieved IF the bf has told her about his insecurities and low self esteem issues, (as we all know that she cannot read his damn mind if he doesnt speak) |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by pendo89(f): 10:50pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
Its not as though I am trying to poison the relationship. Am not even talking about making up quarrels over nothing. Am talking about the usual day to day disagreements.Like when you your partner says something offending without knowing,you don't say its okay and then hurt inside cz u fear what he will think of you. Tell him that he offended you and see how he reacts. If you find his eating habits disgusting dont despise within. Tell him gently and see if he will explode. If she puts excess makeup that makes you feel embarrased tell her. Let her explode if she wants to. Those are the acts we put up to please. You say that one should use proper time to discover who they partner are? Well you also said a determined person will play their act like an oscar performance, So proper time fails. 'everything is wrong if it doesnt come naturally due to a misunderstanding.' I agree with that. But if you put up an Oscar performance fr long I will provoke. Real people disagree and agree amicably. |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by mekaboy(m): 10:54pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
[b] AND HOW MANY BFS SAY TO THEIR GFS "BABY I AM INSECURE OOO, PLEASE I AM JUST TELLING YOU TO KNOW SO THAT YOU DONT DO ANYTHING THAT WILL MAKE ME FEEL INSECURE ? " THE GIRL AND THE GUY MIGHT HAVE BROKEN UP IN A NICE WAY MAYBE BECAUSE OF DISTANCE OR PROBABLY AFTER SCHOOL THINGS CHANGED. SHE HAS NO FEELINGS FOR HIM ANYMORE, ITS AN INNOCENT HUG, BUT SHE MIGHT THINK IT WOULD BE RUDE IF SHE DOES NOT HUG HER EX THAT SHE HAS NOT SEEN FOR YEARS. ITS NOT ABOUT MATURITY- EVEN MATURED MARRIED PARENT QUARREL OVER ISSUES LIKE THAT. SHE JUST GAVE A HUG OUT OF REFLEX NO HARM INTENDED. BUT AS A GUY, WE DONT SEE IT THAT WAY, AND U NEVER CAN TELL WHAT HIS FRIENDS MUST HAVE TOLD HIM WHILE THEY WATCHED. PROBABLY THE GUY DROVE IN WITH A BETTER CAR AND THEY WERE ALL WATCHING TO KNOW WHO WOULD COME OUT OF IT, AND THE NEXT HE COMES OUT AND HUGGING HIS GF. HIS FRIENDS WILL SAY MEN, GUY U HAVE LOST HER. YOU KNOW HOW GUYS BEHAVE, NO MATTER HOW MATURED U CLAIM TO BE, YOUR TEMPER MUST RISE, AND EVERYTHING THE GIRL SAYS AT THIS POINT WILL BE MISS UNDERSTOOD. THE GIRL MIGHT ALWAYS BE TELLING THE GUY " GROW UP " WHEN THEY JOKE. BUT IN THIS CASE THE SAME " GROW UP " MEANS SOMETHING DIFFERENT. SHE HAS LEARNT NOT TO HUG HER EX, AND ALSO LEARNT THAT HER BF IS NOT THE TYPE THAT WOULD HIT A LADY. ITS ONLY IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS THAT YOU DISCOVER SUCH. A GUY MIGHT TELL A GIRL, I HAVE NEVER HIT A WOMAN AND I WILL NEVER DO IT, BUT IN THIS VERY SITUATION THE GIRL WAKES UP IN THE HOSPITAL , THEN SHE DISCOVERS THAT THE GUY HAS LIED TO HER. [/b] |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by mekaboy(m): 11:03pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
THEY HAVE BOTH INSULTED EACH OTHERS FAMILY, BUT ITS NOT ENOUGH REASON TO BREAK UP. FOR THOSE THAT SAY IF A GIRL INSULTS MY FAMILY THEN ITS OVER, IN THIS CASE WILL YOU SAY ITS OVER WHEN YOU BOTH INSULTED EACH OTHERS FAMILY? OR WOULD U EXPECT HER TO BE QUIET WILL YOU INSULT HER FAMILY? AGAIN PEOPLE DIFFER:- A GUY MIGHT FEEL, THIS IS THE TYPE OF GIRL I WANT TO MARRY, SOMEONE WHO IS BOLD AND CAN CHALLENGE WHAT SHE DOES NOT LIKE AND IS OUT SPOKEN, SHE CAN HANDLE THINGS IN MY ABSENCE. ANOTHER GUY- MIGHT FEEL, MEN I CANT MARRY THIS TYPE OF GIRL THAT WILL TALK BACK AT ME AND CHALLENGE MY AUTHORITY. ITS ISSUES LIKE THIS THAT WILL SHOW YOU WHO YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF YOU LIFE WITH AND DECIDE IF YOU CAN COPE WITH IT OR NOT. DO YOU KNOW AGREE THAT QUARRELS - CREATE UNDERSTAND AND RESPECT? THE GIRL WONT HUG HER EX NEXT TIME- THE GUY WONT INSULT THE GIRLS BACKGROUND NEXT TIME. |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Nobody: 11:25pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
pendo89: lol, is that not what ANYONE should do?! of course you have to tell him that you dont like what he did or said BUT you can do that in a civil manner. why quarrel about something as flimsy as this?! "babe, i dont like what you just said as i think it is disrespectful to me and would prefer if you never do that again" et voila! an understanding partner will not even make a big deal out of it and if a quarrel came out of this then you certainly should quickly dump this person who has absolutely no respect for you. If you find his eating habits disgusting dont despise within. Tell him gently and see if he will explode. If she puts excess makeup that makes you feel embarrased tell her. Let her explode if she wants to. Those are the acts we put up to please. shouldnt you have known about his bad eating habits from the get go? why didnt you say anything before? why should he get mad about that. if it's a problem to you then move away and if it aint the accept him for who he is. either way quarreling aint gonna fix anything. ok, you meet a girl who puts excessive makeup and you are ok to date her and then down the line you want to change her, then YOU are wrong and YOU should deal with your own issues. that person gets mad and dont want to change then she has all the rights to do so because that's how you met her. if you are embarrassed and she is not willing to change the move on you merry way. You say that one should use proper time to discover who they partner are? Well you also said a determined person will play their act like an oscar performance, So proper time fails. yes because that's how life is, you can only judge people for what they portray, any other points to judge them by is WRONG. so if she only "plays" the good girl and i believe that she is then i have only myself to blame as people can act for 10+ yrs only to show their true colors afterwards, AND NO AMOUNT OF QUARRELING CAN CHANGE THAT! But if you put up an Oscar performance fr long I will provoke. Real people disagree and agree amicably. they will pretend to be who they are not until they get what they are here for, whether you throw fast balls at them or not, provoke them or not! do you know how easy it is to pretend to like something you dont, or to be someone you are not?! look around you!!!! you just wrote what i have been saying all along: you dont have to QUARREL to disagree with someone (like poster claims), you can do it in a civil manner aka AMICABLY! @MEKABOY if a person isnt fully honest with their partner then they can't/shouldn't blame her when they mess up for THESE reason. you first should know what BEING IN A R/SHIP means before trying to be in one OR trying to give advices to people. you should advise people to be HONEST with their partner rather than telling them to make quarrels to discover who that person is . . . . . . . . especially WHILE YOURSELF CANT BE HONEST TO THAT PERSON, lol! what an irony!!!! again, its called UNDERSTANDING, look up the word. if the gf KNOWS about her bf insecurities then she will act accordingly because she UNDERSTANDS her man and his issues. basta! the immature person is the one who will think of themselves and that irrelevant ex or try to disregard her partner's insecurities. funny how you think no harm is "intended" with a hug while in the previous post you said it was wrong, are you confused?! if her man is insecure/jealous then she will automatically know that a hug is not advisable AND THERE IS NO REASON FOR QUARREL TO KNOW THAT, duh! also who cares about what his friend told him?! i am talking about ADULTS here , not immature kids who know nothing about dating/relationships, pls! so if your gf hugs her ex that has a better car than you, you have automatically lost her?! pls stop showing your low self esteem insecurities, lol, if he was such a great guy then she would still be with him! a mature person WILL NOT make a big deal out of an ex driving a better car, he will strive to get a better life for himself rather than look down on all that his gf is doing with that person. what next, she shouldnt look at him or reply to him if he talks to her?! abeg grow up! so are you saying that a girl MUST hug her ex with a nicer car and tell him to grow up in order to know if her bf will hit her or not? bwaaaaah! man i am having so much fun with you, you are an incredible r/ship counsellor! bro the girl would NEVER hug her ex if her bf told her about his insecurities, open your mind! ok let me give you ONE good advice for any UNION: unless you show your TRUE self to the person you "supposedly" love, there is no way that person can act accordingly in that union(as we all know that men are different). so get some balls and tell/show her who you truly are AND THEN expect her to act right. how can you expect anyone to act right when they have NO FUKCING IDEA who you are?! you make no damn sense! |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by mekaboy(m): 11:45pm On Sep 06, 2011 |
[b] GOOD THIS LEADS ME BACK TO THE STAGES, THERE ARE STAGES IN A RELATIONSHIP. AT THE 1ST STAGE- YOU DONT EXPECT A GUY TO BE SO OPEN TO TELL A GIRL HER MAKE UP IS MUCH OR FOR A GIRL TO TELL THE GUY SHE DOES NOT LIKE THE WAY HE EATS. ITS MOSTLY AT THE 3RD STAGE THAT THEY CAN FEEL CONFIDENT TO DO THAT. I AM NOT SAYING THE CAR HER EX CAME WITH MEANS ANYTHING TO THE GUY- BUT WHEN THE GIRL COMPARES HIS CAR WITH HER EXS, THAT WHEN THE GUY WILL GET MORE UPSET BECAUSE HE KNOWS ITS TRUE. I HAVE NEVER SEEN A GUY WHO WILL OPENLY TELL HIS GF I AM INSECURE AND HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM AND MOST TIMES IF A SITUATION LIKE THIS DOES NOT OCCUR SHE MIGHT NEVER GET TO KNOW. THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE NOT SAID IN RELATIONSHIPS BUT DISCOVERED- EVEN IF THE GUY IS INSECURE OR HAS LOW SELF ESTEEM, HE DOES NOT SAY IT, THE GIRL WILL HAVE TO DISCOVER IT THROUGH SITUATIONS LIKE THIS. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? MATURED PEOPLE DONT JOKE? PLEASE MR. MATURED MAN- GUYS WILL ALWAYS BE GUYS NO MATTER HOW OLD THEY ARE. GUYS CAN EASILY JOKE WITH SUCH THINGS , I KNOW ITS NORMALLY FOR A GUYS- A GUY CAN EASILY SAY " OBOY THIS ONE WEY THIS GUY DEY HUG YOUR CHICK, MAKE YOU MARK AM WELL OO BEFORE HE GO CARRY AM GO THIS NIGHT" I MEAN THIS IS A TYPICAL GUYS STATEMENT. NO MATER HOW MATURED YOU ARE GUYS WILL STILL BE GUYS, OR ARE YOU TOO MATURED TO JOKE WITH YOUR FRIENDS? EVEN 60YRS OLD PARENTS STILL TELL DIRTY JOKES WHEN THEY ARE TOGETHER TALKLESS OF YOUNG GUYS. OR DO U MEASURE MATURITY BY JOKES? ARE YOU SAYING THE MORE MATURED YOU ARE THE LESS JOKES YOU TELL WITH YOUR FRIENDS ? WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS AND WE REACT TO SITUATIONS, EVEN IF A GIRL OR GUY DECIDES TO PRETEND TILL THEY GET MARRIED TO SHOW THEIR TRUE COLOR, IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS, THEY WILL NOT KNOW WHEN THEY LET DOWN THEIR GUARDS . CAN YOU BE THROWN INTO FIRE AND PRETEND YOUR NOT FEELING HOT? MOST TIMES- BEST OF MARRIAGES YOU SEE, DID NOT COME OUT OF MATURED ARGUMENT LIKE YOU SAY, THEY COME OUT OF SERIOUS QUARRELS. HOW ELSE DO YOU DISCOVER THE BEAUTY OF GOLD- SILVER- DIAMOND ETC, EXCEPT IT PASSES THROUGH HEAT.? ANY RELATIONSHIP THAT HAS NOT PASSED THROUGH THE HEAT OF QUARRELS WILL NOT LAST. GOLD IN ITS RAW STATE DOES NOT LOOK NICE UNLESS IT PASSES THROUGH HEAT. [/b] |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by 190smh: 2:11am On Sep 07, 2011 |
^On point  |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Nobody: 4:10am On Sep 07, 2011 |
mekaboy: why not?! if you are insecure then thats all on you. why would you even be attracted to a girl you believe wear too much make up?! you make no sense. if you have a problem with how a person eats THEN LET THEM KNOW rather than be quiet because you want to pretend that everything is ok when it's not. . . it's called to use a SUBTLE way to tell someone. YOU are what is usually called a PHONEY! ITS MOSTLY AT THE 3RD STAGE THAT THEY CAN FEEL CONFIDENT TO DO THAT. you mean it's in the 3rd stage that they will each finally realize who they are truly dating (rather than the phoney person their partner pretended to be all along) I AM NOT SAYING THE CAR HER EX CAME WITH MEANS ANYTHING TO THE GUY- BUT WHEN THE GIRL COMPARES HIS CAR WITH HER EXS, THAT WHEN THE GUY WILL GET MORE UPSET BECAUSE HE KNOWS ITS TRUE. why would your gf compare her ex's car with yours?! dude are you THAT insecure?! also, maybe she is using YOUR technique of quarreling to see how strong you are and sorry but you FAILED BIG TIME!!!!! I HAVE NEVER SEEN A GUY WHO WILL OPENLY TELL HIS GF I AM INSECURE AND HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM AND MOST TIMES IF A SITUATION LIKE THIS DOES NOT OCCUR SHE MIGHT NEVER GET TO KNOW. yet you expect a girl to be fully open to you?! what an hypocrite you are! THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE NOT SAID IN RELATIONSHIPS BUT DISCOVERED- EVEN IF THE GUY IS INSECURE OR HAS LOW SELF ESTEEM, HE DOES NOT SAY IT, THE GIRL WILL HAVE TO DISCOVER IT THROUGH SITUATIONS LIKE THIS. thats nonsense, not all men are weak like you. but think of what you are saying for ONE SECOND, you are saying that: the only way for a girl to know that her man is weak is to "discover it" by hugging her ex and create a quarrel. . . . . . . while you clearly wrote that this action will have her get beaten and sent to hospital. so i am safe to say that: your technique is shiit and will break people up rather than solving anything BUT my technique of being open will make life easier for EVERYONE INVOLVED!
joking is NOT the problem! the immature person is the one that take these joke seriously and quarrel or beat his gf because her ex got a better car and his friend joked about it! GUYS CAN EASILY JOKE WITH SUCH THINGS , I KNOW ITS NORMALLY FOR A GUYS- A GUY CAN EASILY SAY " OBOY THIS ONE WEY THIS GUY DEY HUG YOUR CHICK, MAKE YOU MARK AM WELL OO BEFORE HE GO CARRY AM GO THIS NIGHT" I MEAN THIS IS A TYPICAL GUYS STATEMENT. if you were not insecure, you would understand that a hug means absolutely nothing or that, if that ex was that great, she would still be with him rather than YOU.lol!
i measure maturity by the action that a person take after these jokes. anyone who take these jokes seriously (and decide to take actions against his gf) is immature and should work on his low self esteem issues. ARE YOU SAYING THE MORE MATURED YOU ARE THE LESS JOKES YOU TELL WITH YOUR FRIENDS ? i am saying: only a kid will beat up or quarrel with his gf because his buddies made a damn joke that made HIM feel/look like a punk! WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS AND WE REACT TO SITUATIONS, EVEN IF A GIRL OR GUY DECIDES TO PRETEND TILL THEY GET MARRIED TO SHOW THEIR TRUE COLOR, IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS, THEY WILL NOT KNOW WHEN THEY LET DOWN THEIR GUARDS . unless you tell your gf WHO YOU ARE, there is no way she can know on her own and therefore these things will happen. . . . . . . . .and guess what, you failed the "hug test"! CAN YOU BE THROWN INTO FIRE AND PRETEND YOUR NOT FEELING HOT? so a HUG is comparable to FIRE to you? lol yep, all the signs of insecurity/low self esteem! MOST TIMES- BEST OF MARRIAGES YOU SEE, DID NOT COME OUT OF MATURED ARGUMENT LIKE YOU SAY, THEY COME OUT OF SERIOUS QUARRELS. are you claiming that most of the best marriages out there, are thanks to your technique of creating quarrels before marriage?! HOW ELSE DO YOU DISCOVER THE BEAUTY OF GOLD- SILVER- DIAMOND ETC, EXCEPT IT PASSES THROUGH HEAT.? what a pile of %&@, comparing marriage with gold!!!!! sorry bro, no amount of "heat" can make a difference with DIAMOND, BWAAAAAAAAAH!!! but hey, i am sure any plastic marriages will go perfectly with your heat/quarrel technique! |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by mekaboy(m): 12:14am On Sep 08, 2011 |
[b] LOL MR I AM BEGINING TO BELIEVE YOUR TOO MATURED TO HAVE EVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP. THE WAY YOU REASON BAFFLES ME AND IF YOU CONTINUE THIS WAY YOU WILL END UP FRUSTRATING YOURSELF AND ANY LADY THAT DECIDES TO TAKE THE RISK TO MARRY YOUR TYPE. TALKING ABOUT STAGES- AT THE FIRST STAGE, ANYTHING IS OK, YOU DONT COME OUT STRAIGHT, A NORMAL GIRL WILL NOT TELL A GUY SHE DOES NOT LIKE THE WAY HE EATS AT THIS STAGE. EXAMPLE: IF A GUY DOES NOT LIKE TO HOLD ANYONE OR BE HELD WHILE SLEEPING AND HIS NEW GF LIKES HIM TO HOLD HER WHILE THEY SLEEP, I AM SURE YOUR TYPE OF MATURED GUY WILL COME OUT STRAIGHT AND TELL THE GIRL HE DOES NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE HOLDING HER RIGHT? WELL MOST GUYS IN THEIR RIGHT SENSES AT THIS STAGE WILL SACRIFICE AND HOLD HER, BECAUSE ITS STILL EARLY TO COMPLAIN. WHEN THEY GET COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER, SPENDING MORE TIME TOGETHER, THE GUY IS ALSO WONDERING IF SHE COULD BE HIS MISSING RIB. THAT WHEN HE CAN TALK ABOUT THE HOLDING ISSUE BECAUSE HE MIGHT BE SPENDING THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITH HER. I WONDER THE KIND OF MAN YOU ARE, MEN HAVE PRIDE- AND ANY NORMAL GUY IN THAT SITUATION WILL NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE WATCHING HIS GF HUG HER EX WHILE HIS FRIENDS MAKE FUN OF HIM ITS NOT A SELF ESTEEM ISSUE ITS A PRIDE ISSUE. I AM SURE YOU HAVE NO PRIDE AND EVERYTHING GOES FOR YOU. YES ANY RELATIONSHIP THAT HAS NOT PASSED THROUGH THE HEAT OF QUARRELS AND SURVIVES WILL NOT LAST IN MARRIAGE. IF YOU FOLLOW THE WAY THE ARGUMENT WENT, YOU WILL SEE WHY THE GIRL COMPARE THE GUY TO HER EX TO PROVOKE HIM MORE BECAUSE SHE WAS ALSO PROVOKED. NO GUY WILL LIKE TO BE COMPARED TO HIS GF EX - I MEAN FOR THOSE THAT HAVE PRIDE NOT YOUR TYPE. YES A PEACEFUL MARRIAGE CAN BE COMPARED TO GOLD OR PRECIOUS STONES , BECAUSE ITS BEAUTIFUL AND RARE TO FIND, AND ONLY BECAME THAT WAY BECAUSE IT PASSED THROUGH THE PROCESS. I HAVE NOT ENCOURAGED ANYONE TO INTENTIONALLY QUARREL WITH THEIR PARTNER, WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT YOU SHOULD BE OUTSPOKEN , DONT KEEP THINGS WITHIN YOU BECAUSE YOUR AFRAID TO QUARREL- IF YOU HAVE ISSUES RAISE, IF YOU HAVE TO QUARREL OVER IT, FINE. ITS BETTER TO RAISE AND ISSUE- QUARREL OVER IT AND RESOLVE IT- THAN TO KEEP SILENT AND BE DIEING INSIDE BECAUSE YOU DONT WANT TO QUARREL WITH YOUR PARTNER. ANY MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP , WHERE PEOPLE DONT QUARREL 3 THINGS ARE INVOLVED. 1, ONE OR BOTH OF THEM IS FAKE 2, ONE OR BOTH OF THEM ARE NOT TRULY IN LOVE. 3, ONE OF THEM IS A SLAVE TO THE OTHER, THE SLAVE WITH RATHER BE BITTER AND DEPRESSED INSIDE THAN RAISE AN ISSUE THAT COULD CAUSE A QUARREL. DONT BE AFRAID TO QUARREL, IT STRENGTHENS A RELATIONSHIP- EXPOSES YOUR WEAKNESS WHICH YOU WILL TRY TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER OR YOU BOTH PATH WAYS KNOWING YOUR NOT COMPATIBLE. YES THE BF OR GF CAN TELL THE PARTNER I HAVE HOT TEMPER- BUT THE PARTNER WILL NOT KNOW THE DEGREE OF THE HOT TEMPER IF THEY DONT QUARREL . AND IF THEY EVENTUALLY GET MARRIED , ONE DAY THEY QUARREL , AND THE GUY STABS THE GIRL , HE WILL SAY "I TOLD YOU I HAVE A HOT TEMPER" BUT THE GIRL NEVER GOT TO KNOW THE EXTENT OF THE HOT TEMPER UNTIL THEY GOT MARRIED. THAT IS WHY I REPEAT ! QUARREL !! QUARREL !!!QUARREL BEFORE YOUR GET MARRIED. [/b] |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by 190smh: 12:21am On Sep 08, 2011 |
[size=18pt]Im quarrelling with my girlfriend from now henceforth where is she where is she Baby DID U GREET ME GOOD MORNING TODAY  [/size] |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by mekaboy(m): 12:33am On Sep 08, 2011 |
LOL- 190 BETTER FOR YOU OO, YOU MIGHT DISCOVER THAT SHE DOES NOT LIKE GREETING IN THE MORNING, SO YOU CAN LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT IF YOU CAN ,NOT WHEN YOUR MARRIED YOU TRY TO FORCE HER TO GREET YOU. |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Nobody: 6:05pm On Sep 08, 2011 |
@mekaboy there are 2 types of people in this world: the HONEST ones and the PHONEY ones who have NOTHING to be proud of themselves so they pretend to be someone else. people like you always end up miserable because you never get to find your true partner until its too late. just like playing Russian roulette! the fact that you even need to quarrel with someone to get to know them says QUITE A LOT about yourself. mekaboy: someday when you finally get some guts, you should try being yourself for a change, it might do you (and your prospective partner) a lot of good!
why should anyone be a phoney in such situation. how weak are you bro? are you so afraid of women? is she gonna bite you for being honest? or are you THAT desperate to BE in a r/ship?! lol! if you don't like ANYTHING then you MUST voice it rather than pretending to like it, only to change many months down the line. in MY world, it's called WASTING YOUR TIME!
BWAAAAAAH! i do weep for any woman that waste their times dating such guys. I WONDER THE KIND OF MAN YOU ARE, MEN HAVE PRIDE- AND ANY NORMAL GUY IN THAT SITUATION WILL NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE WATCHING HIS GF HUG HER EX WHILE HIS FRIENDS MAKE FUN OF HIM ITS NOT A SELF ESTEEM ISSUE ITS A PRIDE ISSUE. I AM SURE YOU HAVE NO PRIDE AND EVERYTHING GOES FOR YOU. do you even know what pride means?!?! lol it's NOT pride you are feeling, it's LOW SELF ESTEEM bro, dont get it twisted!!!!! if you have a problem with your gal hugging her ex then voice it to her or STFU for ever. you cant expect this girl to read your mind, do you? a proud man would UNDERSTAND that a hug means absolutely nothing. a proud man would have no problem telling his gf what he wants from her, a proud man would easily show his true self. now, any low self esteem man would do exactly what you claim: not show his true self, not voice his concerns and argue with his gf "afterwards". if you have ANY pride then go face the guy and tell him that you dont want him to hug your gf because YOU ARE WEAK!!!!! YES ANY RELATIONSHIP THAT HAS NOT PASSED THROUGH THE HEAT OF QUARRELS AND SURVIVES WILL NOT LAST IN MARRIAGE. IF YOU FOLLOW THE WAY THE ARGUMENT WENT, YOU WILL SEE WHY THE GIRL COMPARE THE GUY TO HER EX TO PROVOKE HIM MORE BECAUSE SHE WAS ALSO PROVOKED. NO GUY WILL LIKE TO BE COMPARED TO HIS GF EX - I MEAN FOR THOSE THAT HAVE PRIDE NOT YOUR TYPE. if the guy had told his gf about his low self esteem WEAK self then none of this would have happen! she would have UNDERSTOOD that a hug is a problem to her weak man and act accordingly. what has PRIDE got to do with a hug?! please stop talking about words that you DO NO UNDERSTAND! YES A PEACEFUL MARRIAGE CAN BE COMPARED TO GOLD OR PRECIOUS STONES , BECAUSE ITS BEAUTIFUL AND RARE TO FIND, AND ONLY BECAME THAT WAY BECAUSE IT PASSED THROUGH THE PROCESS yeah through heat right?! why dont you try to work a diamond with heat?! I HAVE NOT ENCOURAGED ANYONE TO INTENTIONALLY QUARREL WITH THEIR PARTNER, yes YOU HAVE!!!!! stop trying to change your tune now, lol! here is what YOU earlier wrote:"I DONT ASK PEOPLE WHO ARE PLANNING TO GET MARRIED IF THEY ARE INLOVE , WHAT I ASK IS " DO YOU QUARREL? " AND IF YOU DONT I HOPE YOU START TO QUARREL. so pls MR counsellor, stand by your damn words rather than trying to change NOW, ROTFLMAO!!!! WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT YOU SHOULD BE OUTSPOKEN , DONT KEEP THINGS WITHIN YOU BECAUSE YOUR AFRAID TO QUARREL- IF YOU HAVE ISSUES RAISE, IF YOU HAVE TO QUARREL OVER IT, FINE. ITS BETTER TO RAISE AND ISSUE- QUARREL OVER IT AND RESOLVE IT- THAN TO KEEP SILENT AND BE DIEING INSIDE BECAUSE YOU DONT WANT TO QUARREL WITH YOUR PARTNER. BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! you MUST be suffering from multiple personality disorder, here is what YOU wrote earlier(which is a direct contradiction of what you just wrote above): - I HAVE NEVER SEEN A GUY WHO WILL OPENLY TELL HIS GF I AM INSECURE AND HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM AND MOST TIMES IF A SITUATION LIKE THIS DOES NOT OCCUR SHE MIGHT NEVER GET TO KNOW. THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE NOT SAID IN RELATIONSHIPS BUT DISCOVERED- EVEN IF THE GUY IS INSECURE OR HAS LOW SELF ESTEEM, HE DOES NOT SAY IT, THE GIRL WILL HAVE TO DISCOVER IT THROUGH SITUATIONS LIKE THIS. ANY MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP , WHERE PEOPLE DONT QUARREL 3 THINGS ARE INVOLVED. 4) they understand each other and resolve problem in a civil manner. 5) they have NOTHING to argue about 6) they are both wise/caring/mature individual who are not afraid to voice their r/ship concerns openly.
if you was MAN ENOUGH, you would simply show your weak side to your partner TO AVOID ANY POINTLESS ARGUMENT!!!!. this WILL strengthen any r/ship better than any pointless immature quarrel! why would you A) pretend to be who you are not and then B) quarrel about something that you know she will discover anyway, duh!! YES THE BF OR GF CAN TELL THE PARTNER I HAVE HOT TEMPER- BUT THE PARTNER WILL NOT KNOW THE DEGREE OF THE HOT TEMPER IF THEY DONT QUARREL . AND IF THEY EVENTUALLY GET MARRIED , ONE DAY THEY QUARREL , AND THE GUY STABS THE GIRL , HE WILL SAY "I TOLD YOU I HAVE A HOT TEMPER" BUT THE GIRL NEVER GOT TO KNOW THE EXTENT OF THE HOT TEMPER UNTIL THEY GOT MARRIED. if your partner tells you that she has hot temper THEN, as an understanding bf, you wont get her mad because you know about her hot temper, and THEREFORE, nothing will ever happen. use your brain pls! if she stabs you before OR after marriage is IRRELEVANT because you will be dead anyway and she will STILL say:"i told you, i have hot temper" lol! also, maybe her hot temper will only happen when you do something REALLY CRAZY like cheating/beating her etc so how are you going to "test" her then?!?!?!?!?!?! are you gonna cheat/ beat her to know how mad she can be?! lol you make no damn sense bro, NONE WHATSOEVER! |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by mekaboy(m): 12:31am On Sep 09, 2011 |
[b] MR, IF I UNDERSTAND YOU CORRECTLY, YOU ARE SAYING YOU DONT QUARREL, WHICH MEANS YOUR PERFECT, YOU ARE ALSO SAYING THAT YOU DONT BELIEVE RELATIONSHIPS HAVE STAGES, SO WHEN YOU MEET A GIRL YOU START COMPLAINING ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU DONT LIKE ABOUT HER IMMEDIATELY. YOU ARE SAYING THAT A GUY HAS TO TELL THE LADY EVERYTHING AND SHE HAS NO NEED TO DISCOVER ANYTHING. SO IF A GUY TELLS HIS GIRLFRIEND HE HAS HOT TEMPER , THEN SHE WILL NEVER DO ANYTHING TO UPSET HIM FOREVER IF THEY GET MARRIED, SO EVEN IF HE DOES SOMETHING WRONG, SHE WONT EXPRESS HER FEELINGS BECAUSE SHE IS AFRAID SHE WILL PROVOKE HIM? HOW CAN YOU SAY PEOPLE WILL DATE AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE NOTHING TO QUARREL ABOUT? EVEN TWINS WHO ARE BORN INTO THIS WORLD AT THE SAME TIMES SAME PARENTS STILL QUARREL. ARE YOU SAYING THEY ARE THE SAME AND HAVE NO DIFFERENCES? WELL SINCE YOU SAY THAT A GUY SHOULD LET A THE GF KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM FROM THE ONSET AND SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO DISCOVER ANYTHING FOR HERSELF, ALSO THAT SHOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING HE DOES NOT LIKE ABOUT HER IMMEDIATELY THEY START DATING. IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU HAVE YOU PERSONALITY AND PROFILE ALREADY WRITTEN OUT ON PAPER, SO BEFORE YOU START DATING YOU GIVE THE GIRL THE HARD COPY OF YOUR LIFE TO STUDY AND KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU SO THAT SHE DOES NOT GET TO DISCOVER ANYTHING HERSELF AND YOU WILL HAVE NO NEED TO QUARREL. I BELIEVE THAT IS WHAT YOU MEAN BY BEING REAL- WELL A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT A COMPANY THAT LISTS OUT THEIR OBJECTIVES AND MODE OF CONDUCT, ITS A PROCESS AND IN THAT PROCESS THERE ARE DIFFERENCES AND DISCOVERIES. [/b] |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by vaLasce(m): 4:11am On Sep 09, 2011 |
m3kABOy! ur so v3rY V3RY on point! f33LinG u sO v3ry MuCh riT3 nOw, d mor3 quArR3Ls dat cOm3S up, mAk3s U G3t2kNw uR pArTn3r, aNd mAk3s u aKc3pT Ur ParTn3r4wHo H3/Sh3 iS, s3xKiLlZ gAt iT, mRbROWNjaY! u JusT dnT g3rRit! m3kaBoY, u g3t100%! GBaM!!! 1 Like |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Nobody: 4:45am On Sep 09, 2011 |
This is all so thought provoking! What I keep thinking is that most people arent mature or honest enough to tell their partner the things they should. Im trying to imagine a relationship where BOTH people are capable of talking through issues and not being afraid to look at themselves< that being the biggest obsticle. And another big obsticle is people reacting to one another without thinking, blurting things out, attacking, etc, not cool, but it happens. Our reactions get in the way of truly communicating and respecting sometimes, or just recognizing that the relationship will not work and is over. |
| Re: YOU MUST QUARREL OVER 5 TIMES BEFORE YOU MARRY. by Lax75(m): 4:56am On Sep 09, 2011 |
^^^^ It's all about learning to "fight fair." Quarrels should only be a form of communication that stems from frustration and not a weapon to hurt the other person. |
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