My fiancee told my younger brother that she will send him out of my house if we get married. She was joking, but it didn't sound like a joke to me.

Let me tell you how this started. My younger brother told my fiancee jokingly, that he will be sending her on errand anyhow, when she marries me. Although he went too far for saying he will be sending her on errand anyhow. But he has every right to send her on errand because he senior her. She then replied that if my brother do anyhow, when we get married she will ask me to send him away from my house. At this point I stop seeing the whole discussion as joke. I asked her to repeat what she said, she repeated it again (take note: she was saying everything jokingly)

I told her right away that if my brother comes visiting when we get married, she will not send him away. She said she will use her woman power to make me send him away.

She went further to ask me, that if they ask me now to choose between her and my brother who would I choose. I told her I would choose my brother (she could see the seriousness in me).

And I really meant it, any girl that will separate me and my brother will have to use jazz .

This my younger brother established the business that I am doing today. Has done countless number of things for me.

We don't joke with each other, and she knows that.

So am really scared, could this be a joke ? even though it a joke. How can a woman joke that she will separate two brothers ?

Nairalanders, please help a brother with your advice. is this a red flag ?

Your problem.

Na 2023 b dis try get sense na. Leave all this gossip and pursue money.

Pay attention to words said jokingly. It's always the purest form of truth

See our just concluded 3bedroom bungalow construction if you're about starting your building project.. Link in my signature

Ndubuisipaul1:
my fiancee told my younger brother that she will send him out of my house if we get married . She was joking, but it didn't sound like a joke to me .

let me tell you how this started. my younger told my fiancee jokingly, that he will be sending her on errand anyhow, when she marries me. Although he went too for saying he will be sending her on errand anyhow . But he has every right to send her on errand because he senior her. She then replied that if my brother do anyhow, when we get married she will ask me to send him away from my house. At this point I stop seeing the whole discussion as joke. I asked her to repeat what she said, she repeated it again (take note: she was saying everything jokingly)

I told her right away that if my brother comes visiting when will get married, she will not send him away. She said she will use her woman power to make me send her away.

She went further to ask me, that if they ask me now to choose between her and my brother who would I choose . I told her I would choose my brother ( she could see the seriousness in me).

And I really meant it, any girl that will separate me and my brother will have to use jazz .

This my younger brother established the business that I am doing today. Has done countless number of things for me .

We don't joke with each other, and she knows that.

So am really scared, could this be a joke ? even though it a joke. How can a woman joke that she will separate two brothers ?

Nairalanders please help a brother with your advice. is this a red flag ?

The rate men on this forum cook up imaginary stories meant to paint Nigerian women black is simply outrageous.

On a different note, Op,

Do you need more condiments? Your food is quite bland. Although I know your fellow compatriots will not mind the lack.

The heart of a man is desperately wicked and deceitful, no one can know it all. I tell you my brother, she's not joking. The truth is even my wife can't stand between me and my brothers and mother. I will treat her and her people with utmost respect and love but she dare not try to put a rift between I and my siblings.

Onucs:
Na 2023 b dis try get sense na. Leave all this gossip and pursue money.

when we have problem will run to nairaland for advice. One word can save use from danger.

please if you have advice drop it below. Thanks

Na so

Yeah..... Fking red flag....

Any woman that can't accept your family.... Kick her out...

My wife is like a last born in my family.... She's loved and pampered by everyone....

I made it straight from the onset to her that if you can't love my family like me you can get the fk out...

We grew up with love, respect and helping each other.... Won't trade that for no biatch

Cuz of NY strong stance our families are like very close.... You can't ask for anything more than that

The peace of mind and joy it's bring is out of this world.... And I can't just help but to love her deeper and deeper

Ndubuisipaul1:


when we have problem will run to nairaland for advice. One word can save use from danger.

please if you have advice drop it below. Thanks

Na you and who dey play women play

Sixfeetbelle:


The rate men on this forum cook up imaginary stories meant to paint Nigerian women black is simply outrageous.

On a different note, Op,

Do you need more condiments? Your food is quite bland. Although I know your fellow compatriots will not mind the lack.

am 34 years old . Why would I cook up a story for. will your comment and likes put food on my table ?

pls if you don't have reasonable thing to say , allow mature minds to book your space. Thank you.

Ndubuisipaul1:


am 34 years old . Why would I cook up a story for. will your comment and likes put food on my table ?

pls if you don't have reasonable thing to say , allow mature minds to book your space. Thank you.

Abegii! Book which nonsense space? There's no disclaimer like that on Nairaland so deal with it.

I did not lie.

Every time, you guys will quickly rush here to post about perceived wrong the women in your life did while neglecting the good they do. The poor widow your mother helped today, where is the post? The lost little boy your sister helped locate his parents, where is that post? What about the post of how your aunty dodged marrying a married man nko?

Nope, none of those exists. It's only topics like "My ex said my boss is her spec", "My girlfriend asked me for money", "My babe punna is wide" una sabi. Nonsense.

You're 34? So what? Somehow you're above making up stories to bash women? Abegii 🤨🤨

senseless from ,your end , instead of you to calm things you are even fueling it more ,your brother shouldn't be placed above your wife ,if na mumsi I fit try understand,but brother/sister is a no wether seniority or not , nevertheless,both are wrong , better start creating peace ,cause the way I'm seeing it your marriage is heading towards a rock.


side note:- your senior brother has no right to send your fiancee/wife on an errand,if he wants something,ask politely,if she can't ,let him do it himself

U are still a toddler , seen like u don't know anything abt marriage, better remain single if u think marriage can not separate you and your brother, because u will certainly divorce, those gender are evil spirit, except God bless you with a good one.

To u is a joke but she meant it and she will do it, when u get married u need to set boundaries for me if my marriage no reach 10yrs no body come to live with us, that's my own plan, when I get married.

Sixfeetbelle:


Abegii! Book which nonsense space? There's no disclaimer like that on Nairaland so deal with it.

I did not lie.

Every time, you guys will quickly rush here to post about perceived wrong the women in your life did while neglecting the good they do. The poor widow your mother helped today, where is the post? The lost little boy your sister helped locate his parents, where is that post? What about the post of how your aunty dodged marrying a married man nko?

Nope, none of those exists. It's only topics like "My ex said my boss is her spec", "My girlfriend asked me for money", "My babe punna is wide" una sabi. Nonsense.

You're 34? So what? Somehow you're above making up stories to bash women? Abegii 🤨🤨

am Just here to get help , it obvious you don't have what I seek . instead of you to keep mute you are trying to it make difficult for people who has the answers to what I seek to help me, by calling me a liar.

please I didn't offend you in anyway .

Oga Paul, she is right. Please define a marriage. If you can genuinely define it, then you will be matured to handle what may come your way. Yours is to protect her especially a young marriage. She does not have a problem with your brother until your brother insist he would be sending her on an errand. Who does that? As for say na him marry her or assistant husband? You too dey support nonsense. He is a brother not your mum for Christ sake.
when you married, and you want peace, you first of all separate family members coming to stay from those that just coming once in a while.
No matter what your brother might have done for you, he can always come like a visitor and your marriage will have peace. If you want him to always be around you, let him get his apartment close to you and get an house help to do the running up and down, and you can always visit each other.
once she is married to you, she won't allow someone sending her up and down for no reasons. She is not a house help but your own help mate talk less of being an errand girl for another person that is not feeding her.
Baba.. Reason am na.
if you can't abide by simple marriage code that can bring early peace, no need to marry at all. It's that simple.

Ndubuisipaul1:
my fiancee told my younger brother that she will send him out of my house if we get married . She was joking, but it didn't sound like a joke to me .

let me tell you how this started. my younger told my fiancee jokingly, that he will be sending her on errand anyhow, when she marries me. Although he went too far for saying he will be sending her on errand anyhow . But he has every right to send her on errand because he senior her. She then replied that if my brother do anyhow, when we get married she will ask me to send him away from my house. At this point I stop seeing the whole discussion as joke. I asked her to repeat what she said, she repeated it again (take note: she was saying everything jokingly)

I told her right away that if my brother comes visiting when will get married, she will not send him away. She said she will use her woman power to make me send him away.

She went further to ask me, that if they ask me now to choose between her and my brother who would I choose . I told her I would choose my brother ( she could see the seriousness in me).

And I really meant it, any girl that will separate me and my brother will have to use jazz .

This my younger brother established the business that I am doing today. Has done countless number of things for me .

We don't joke with each other, and she knows that.

So am really scared, could this be a joke ? even though it a joke. How can a woman joke that she will separate two brothers ?

Nairalanders please help a brother with your advice. is this a red flag ?

No girl, I repeat no woman can separate me from my younger brother, nonsense

Ndubuisipaul1:
my fiancee told my younger brother that she will send him out of my house if we get married . She was joking, but it didn't sound like a joke to me .

let me tell you how this started. my younger told my fiancee jokingly, that he will be sending her on errand anyhow, when she marries me. Although he went too far for saying he will be sending her on errand anyhow . But he has every right to send her on errand because he senior her. She then replied that if my brother do anyhow, when we get married she will ask me to send him away from my house. At this point I stop seeing the whole discussion as joke. I asked her to repeat what she said, she repeated it again (take note: she was saying everything jokingly)

I told her right away that if my brother comes visiting when will get married, she will not send him away. She said she will use her woman power to make me send him away.

She went further to ask me, that if they ask me now to choose between her and my brother who would I choose . I told her I would choose my brother ( she could see the seriousness in me).

And I really meant it, any girl that will separate me and my brother will have to use jazz .

This my younger brother established the business that I am doing today. Has done countless number of things for me .

We don't joke with each other, and she knows that.

So am really scared, could this be a joke ? even though it a joke. How can a woman joke that she will separate two brothers ?

Nairalanders please help a brother with your advice. is this a red flag ?

First things first.

1. Your brother, whether older or younger, no matter how many years and the age difference between him and your wife, has no right to send your wife on any errand. She is your wife and should be respected. (that is, if and when she becomes your wife).

2. She was not joking. She will send him out. If you go ahead and marry her, you will have to choose between the two. If you don't want to find yourself in that situation, better choose well now.


For her to ask you that question, if they ask you to choose between...., she is already contemplating the fact that you will have to make that choice or she will make you do it.

Only a stupid man will let a wife destroy his relationship with is family.

You have to be able to read between the lines.....what your brother said and the reply she gave is something you should be worried about.

Men always remember this when pull comes to shove is your family that will come through most times not your wife family.

The first thing an average nigeria lady does after marriage is too push man family away and bring her own in.....if you allow that then you doom for life.

My brother i will advise you to always let her know you can never let her come between you and your family.

If she doesn't want your family around then non of her family members should step your place....period.

Well, theyre both wrong. Even if your brother will send her on errands, he must do that respectfully!


She’s going to be your wife and mother of your children , not maid.


And don’t take her joke serious. Because if you do , you’ll just give yourself hbp. These days , searching for red flags at every point won’t get you anywhere .
No one is coming between you and your brother, but trust me, sooner or later , something will.


There will always be red flag , but don’t ignore the one you can’t cope with .


As regards the topic , naturally the closeness between you and your brother will reduce once you are married no matter what he’s done for you .
But as a man, you need to find balance between your siblings and prospective family .

I was very close to one of my brothers, at some point, I chose him over our parents self , if he traveled then, I would be crying , fall sick,, cos this bro sabi pamper me die, love me and even though we would fight almost every day ( because I no sabi talk and I no like run errand for am) , he would ensure we settle things before our parents come back home. When I finished secondary school, I stayed with , we husled together. Infact months before he married, I put my body and soul to ensure every went smoothly .

These days , we mostly talk on phone and we barely see more than 4 times a year and that’s usually during festive season.

Now he has lots of responsibilities on his neck , and I’ve also been busy with my life , trying to set my priorities.

The last time I went to his side , he was complaining about things he’s facing and admonishing me on what to do so I won’t go through the same.


If I visit any of my brothers, trust me their wives respect me to the core( I no care wether na fake respect or not ) They won’t even want me to go and in all honesty , they always try their best to satisfy me.

Why ?
Me I get bad mouth , if you do rubbish as our wives , I’ll tell you to your face maybe jokingly but I’ll ensure you understand my message. I rarely visit them self , strictly on invitation . And if I go there, I always ensure I drop something reasonable for the wives and kids..

Not bragging, all of my brothers’ wives will happily run errand for me , I appreciate them and I don’t take that for granted too .

Women will always want to dominate in marriage, if you’re not careful, they’ll ask you to send your mother packing.

And you have to be careful here, even if you’ll choose your family over her, please don’t make it so glaring especially if na she you one marry o, it’s so dangerous and you’re not safe doing that. Remember you’ll be living with her forever not your family o.
A wife is different from a girlfriend, so their importance.

She’ll naturally treat them based on how you relate with them in her presence .
That’s not enough reason to end the relationship,

Compare her good sides with her flaws and make your decision..

peedeeasobie:




First things first.

1. Your brother, whether older or younger, no matter how many years and the age difference between him and your wife, has no right to send your wife on any errand. She is your wife and should be respected. (that is, if and when she becomes your wife).

2. She was not joking. She will send him out. If you go ahead and marry her, you will have to choose between the two. If you don't want to find yourself in that situation, better choose well now.


For her to ask you that question, if they ask you to choose between...., she is already contemplating the fact that you will have to make that choice or she will make you do it.

Thank you so much. You made a balanced contribution.

Because your younger brother senior you’re wife to be so he has the right to send her in errands anyhow, you are a Mumu man

I do not support men to be weak in the hands of their women but I won’t tolerate them to belittle their wives as well, if you want to stay with your brother leave her alone and marry someone else you can turn to house girl, the girl isn’t joking she will find a way to separate you and your brother if your so called brother belittle her, either diabolically or any other means available to her

If you want harmony in your home between your brother and your wives, you have to make them accord each other with love and respect, why would your brother be telling your wife he will send her on errands anyhow, na house girl she be?

Godoverevery:
Only a stupid man will let a wife destroy his relationship with is family.

You have to be able to read between the lines.....what your brother said and the reply she gave is something you should be worried about.

Men always remember this when pull comes to shove is your family that will come through most times not your wife family.

The first thing an average nigeria lady does after marriage is too push man family away and bring her own in.....if you allow that then you doom for life.

My brother i will advise you to always let her know you can never let her come between you and your family.

If she doesn't want your family around then non of her family members should step your place....period.

you are not being fair, so his brother telling her he will be sending her on errands anyhow is okay to you, isn’t the brother trying to belittle her, she’s a wife not nanny, she deserve that respect

The brother don’t have that right to send her errands as he desire irrespective of he is older than her or he established the husband, if the man wants someone he can send errands he should go and marry his own wife, not his brother’s, that’s disrespect to even the so called elder brother

Gadafii:
you are not being fair, so his brother telling her he will be sending her on errands anyhow is okay to you, isn’t the brother trying to belittle her, she’s a wife not nanny, she deserve that respect

The brother don’t have that right to send her errands as he desire irrespective of he is older than her or he established the husband, if the man wants someone he can send errands he should go and marry his own wife, not his brother’s, that’s disrespect to even the so called elder brother

A man life is choice.

can my brother send my wife errands....YES

Can he send her errands anyhow........NO

Most times do you see husband brothers doing that No

But I can tell you for free I have seen lot of ladies trying to cut off the husband family after marriage.

Some even pray for the husband mother to be late before marriage........so I know what am saying.

Is not about sentiment but about fact.....telling the guy she will use woman power on him to send is brother away is one of there MANIPULATIVE POWER.

Did the husband brother said he would force him to send her packing if she doesn't go on the errands

reimburse spotlight to words said jokingly

Run oooo

You don't have an issue with your brother saying he was going to send her on errands anyhow and you even justified it by saying "he's older than her", but the whole thing stopped being a joke the moment she said she was going to send him out of the house.

Mr Man, arrange your house. This is how you people tolerate one-sided nonsense in the name of family. By the time the person you're giving nonsense starts giving nonsense in return, you tag them as rude, disrespectful, and all. They become the bad person trying to break your family apart.

Mr Man, again, arrange your house.

This happened between my ex and I before I got married. He was threatened by my closeness to my siblings and one day he said " if we get married, I will definitely seperate you from your brothers". I asked him to repeat himself and he said he was only joking. I never saw the joke and I called it off. How can your plan be to destroy relationship(s) that has been?

Bros, use your tongue to count your teeth.

I

Godoverevery:


A man life is choice.

can my brother send my wife errands....YES

Can he send her errands anyhow........NO

Most times do you see husband brothers doing that No

But I can tell you for free I have seen lot of ladies trying to cut off the husband family after marriage.

Some even pray for the husband mother to be late before marriage........so I know what am saying.

Is not about sentiment but about fact.....telling the guy she will use woman power on him to send is brother away is one of there MANIPULATIVE POWER.

Did the husband brother said he would force him to send her packing if she doesn't go on the errands

the younger brother wanting to be sending her errands “anyhow” is wrong, it fine to send her errands, when you accord her the deserve respect as a wife, Abi you didn’t see that “anyhow” in the right up

Let’s call a spade a spade, the girl also have the right to send him away if the brother feels he can send her anyhow, she’s a wife errand girl

Stop bringing all these type of stories here, it's your personal business.

Gadafii:
you are not being fair, so his brother telling her he will be sending her on errands anyhow is okay to you, isn’t the brother trying to belittle her, she’s a wife not nanny, she deserve that respect

The brother don’t have that right to send her errands as he desire irrespective of he is older than her or he established the husband, if the man wants someone he can send errands he should go and marry his own wife, not his brother’s, that’s disrespect to even the so called elder brother

Na you dey type this thing so? 😯

You don find love? 😂