Inasmuch as our Nigerian sisters decry the patriarchy and seek to dethrone or at least defy it. I have noticed that they have all conveniently kept quiet about a supporting institution that maintains the status quo.

Now most people tend to believe that the patriarchy is men in general. This is very far from the truth. Regardless of whatever new dictionary definitions exists, the patriarchy only serves the benefits of the patriarchs or a group of elite men. This status is mostly only gotten by attaining a certain age, wealth or status in society.

If you look at most Nigerian communities, circles, old school associations, traditional royal cabinets as well as the formal government, it is occupied by these patriarchs. These men do not seek to serve the interests of Men. These people serve their own interests and oppress other men in the process.

Now I understand that some men, in fact a sizeable portion will fight to uphold the patriarchy in the hopes that they too will make it there someday but that's it. They may never make it that high so they can crap on the rest of us.

Now as asides the patriarchy, there's a more influential albeit slightly less powerful demographic called the Matriarchy. Most African men know that the Matriarchy is powerful. Sometimes it manifests itself as the sisterhood and many ladies know what it means to go against the sisterhood.

In many African societies, if a mother says no. It is no. Even the family's patriarch will not sway her. On rare occasions, the patriarch may choose to override her but it does come with consequences and doesn't in anyway negate her influence.

When we talk about traditions like FGM for example, who do you think holds the razor? Men? Really? Of course not. Men aren't allowed anywhere near there. In other aspects such as marriage ceremonies, child rearing etc. the Matriarchy is fully in charge.

Why oh why do we continue to ignore the Matriarchy whilst calling for the head of the patriarchy? Don't get me wrong, I want the patriarchy gone, it doesn't serve me, but so long as the matriarchy stays, the patriarchy will survive. Wanna know why?

Because whether we like to admit it or not, majority of women in society are drawn towards that small group of patriarchs that in turn can make them matriarchs. The wealth, status and power are an incredibly lusty lure. Even powerful matriarchs more often than not will gun for more powerful mates higher up in the social strata. The patriarchy needs the matriarchy to survive.

It's why you see ladies try to absolve themselves of traditional roles and we cheer them up. When most men try to absolve themselves of traditional roles, the sisterhood says no no. You get to stay in your box, the one that the patriarchs designed for you. You don't get to skip out on your traditional roles, that's for us only. We on the other are negotiating better terms with the patriarchs. These newer terms are tagged "Intentional men" or "real men". Thank you for your support.

It's why I consider Nigerian feminism to be hypocrisy. I understand that in the West, those people treated their ladies badly but here in Africa, there was always a powerful matriarchy to keep the balance. We had women rulers, women soldiers and the Aba women's riot of course.

You missed 2 very important aspects that should have formed the core of your idea - bride price and menopause.
As long as men still pay the bride price of women and women are unable to have children in their old age unlike men.

The patriarchy will always be here, unfortunately, the west has criminalised partriarchy.

The "freedom" that women has in the west hasn't really helped them, many men in the west are no longer getting married and only resort to having children out of wedlock.
This has turned the females to eternal partner hustlers, because men find it convenient to just date, sleep with them and move on.

To balance this anomally, the media in the west has resorted to shaming men with multiple partners/affairs even when the women are consenting.

In Africa, the women are the worst for it, people like Tonto Dike, Funke Akindele, Empress Njamah, Genevive Nnaji and the host of them are prime examples of why altering the balance of partriarchy in Africa will make women suffer more, unlike in the west where the system can hold a man accountable and force him to perform his financial duties, lots of single mothers out there in Africa having to cater for their children alone.

This is why, the average Nigerian lady would rather die in an abusive relationship or stay with a cheating partner because being a single mother here just means more misery because all you get as a single mother are men who only are interested in sleeping with you without committment.

There is a reason women with advanced degrees who studied abroad are happy to 3rd, 4th wives to older men like Ooni and the rest of them.

Interesting thread.