Mrs, Chima:

Excuse me? Head of the house? They are partners not boss and employee.

ayox2003:


I think U are 'Mrs' because u are too old to be a Miss cos u dont have a husband. I cant imagine a Chima saying husband is not the head of the House. If it were to be a Diana or a Cassie we would say culture is having a hold on you. Better lay good examples for young NL girls.




999+1=1000

God2man:

Go for marriage counselling. I believe you need to lead by example. Humble yourself to find out why this reclusive xter from your wife,admit your error and promise to change. Personally, i feel You are the problem of your marriage. Apart from visting a marriage counsellor, buy christian books on marriage, you will learn a lot. God bless you. God2man.

cexplorer:

@poster. My marriage was 28 years young this september but I had your kind of problem for many years before God stepped in.

It was that bad I gave her a notebook to jot in just one issue of interest to her we could talk about per day but she would not.

She was too much of a Phleg for my liking: quite, lonely, moody and paranoid without any iota of humour or tendency to crack jokes.

I felt bad because I loved her and I wanted her to be my best friend and companion but she turned out to be a thorn in my flesh.

All that have gone into history because we are the best of friends on earth today. We are so proud of our pasts that we turned our stories into ebooks so many would learn from them.

To your issue I will suggest you contact a professional marriage counselor who would do a psychologic test on your natures and temperaments so he would get to the route of the problem.

Without mixing words, based on my 28 years marital and 13 years counseling experiences, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM and no one can help you until you are ready to help yourself.

JayDawg:

DUDE!!!!

I have the EXACT same problem! I have been married for 3 years and she is EXACTLY the same. Ive been with her for 7 years in total and trust me bruv, she will NEVER change! Ok she changes a bit e.g she stopped hiding under the duvet with the lights off, but that weirdness just transported itself elsewhere.

Let me tell you something, the problems they have are too many to rectify, by the time she becomes the happy, sociable, optimistic, loving, caring, life loving woman you want, you will both be 80yrs old.

Ive lost all hope in mine and i am divorcing. Yes! Abuse me all you want but im gonna give myself one last shot at finding happiness with the right person before i get old and its too late. Some people are born to be saddos and guys like us just want one thing, to be HAPPY. The bad thing here is not in her nature or characteristics, everyone is different. Its the selfishness and the not willing to EXPLAIN why they are the way they are. Jeez i didnt even think there was another woman like my wife out there. I seriously REGRET o!

I am not a fan of separating but why must i be the one to suffer? Afterall im mr nice guy. I believe theres a guy out there for these type of women but i know it aint me, cos why the migraines?? I bet you have these too abi, trying to figure her out and stuff. You'll run yourself mad! I stopped having headaches when i accepted that it's over and i need to get out, a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I feel your pain bro!

What's a life without love, passion and adventure huh

DEUCES (woohooo)

OtunbaGm:

@OP
Join your wife when she is watching those movies

Talk to her about your feelings

It is normal for some fights in marriage but you need to be in charge not the violent way, i mean in all ways even if you guys fight,apologize first, leadership by example

My wife likes those films too but i don't but at times i watch with her cos some can be interesting

She also know my laptop is a must everyday, when i am on my system, she let me be!

Sex is very important in marriage, 3-4 times in a month is too poor. if you treat your woman very well in bed she will add extra meat to your soup that day. It is your right to access that website anytime any day. Tell her I said,WHEN SHE SAID I DO ON YOUR WEDDING DAY, WHAT SHE IS BEEN ASKED IS DAT? WILL YOU GIVE IT TO your HUSBAND IN THE KITCHEN,TOILET,PARLOUR,BEDROOM? SHE SAID I DO. Mind you some women like it the hardway even when they desperately needs it. Do it,let her report you to your pastor, no be your property? afterall you dobale dat day now abi your in laws no give you list?

Check yourself and what did she like doing? do it with her
Marriage is not bed of roses and don't worry yourself that you did not date before. I dated my wife for 6years but when she do some things at times, i laugh. Patience is the key and that is what makes you a man!
All d best

sadhusband:

My main concern is that I need a wife at home, not an immature school girl [b]who is immature and inexperienced [/b]When life throws an inevitable curve ball, she will not be equipped to handle them. I often notice that she wouldn't even know when a guy is angling to corner her and Be Intimate with her. It could also be that she just pretends not to know. I see that in how she handles situations. Not that she has given me any reason to suspect her, but my concern is that she is living in her own world without a need to learn the ways of 21st century. I am not the insecure type at all; just a husband who wants a normal wife at home. I wonder what she would teach a child when she gets one.

ifyalways:

Real courtship is very important people.I just can't understand why folks still wake up and marry strangers . . .You'd end up quarreling,adjusting and studying each other in the early years of marriage that ought to be spent having real fun and exploring your bodies.I'm quite pissed cos recently a friend of mine went the old fashioned way against all the advises he got and 13 months later(infact since day 1) has been from one complain to the other . . .ofcourse my ears are blocked.He should carry his cross jejely 

OP needs a lively,outspoken and cheerful wife that wud also stand shoulder-to-shoulder with a LovePeddler in bed[b] fortunately the wife is a nun,addicted to Nollywood.[/b]  

I have no advise for you.I hope your marriage works.

sadhusband:

To those who say that I deserve her because that is what I bargained for; I don't think any man goes out to look for a LovePeddler. Every man goes out to look for a decent calm and normal woman. How would you know that a calm woman today may be a recluse tomorrow? Unless we can say to never marry calm women. I have seen other calm women who are still solid and knowledgeable and are willing to add knowledge and relationships to their lives. Mine just wants only me, inside the bedroom, lights all out and cuddling up in bed forever. How can we work and raise a family if we live that way?
My other concern is that she shoes friends away. She basically loses them and make no attempt at all to nurture even friends that ran after her and want to be her friend. All of them disappear the same way they come.
I also know find out that is it very difficult for a man to keep friends if his wife is anti-friends.

sadhusband:

We did not date even a day.

sadhusband:

I guess my plight is indirectly convicting the "old fashion way marriage" - you meet a girl, you love each other from sight and family makes inquiries and everything seems to check fine. NO SEX and intimate relationships.  You get married.
This is what I'm thinking.

BUT  I don't even think that sex is our problem. She enjoys each encounter. She doesn't complain about them, but I am not in the mood somethings because I feel bored and down. I need my wife to inspire me and make me see sex as a thing of joy instead of a chore.  I only enjoy sex with her when I'm well into it. Often I'm very reluctant to initiate it.
She can stay without sex as far as I can see, unless there is something else going on behind my back.

I don't need a LovePeddler at home, but if a LovePeddler would be normal and interested in growing up and be a functional wife, I may well find me one!

funkybaby:


** sighs**

you complained that all she does is sit indoors and watch nollywood
you also complained that she does not add knowledge or value to your relationship
now you are saying she does not inspire you or initiate sex and she is not a functional wife

have you opened up to her and told her all these?