From real life exprience, your wife sexual attitude can be improved upon. You have to create a romantic atmosphere before having sex with your wife. She need to be sexually aroused before the real sex begin. It takes time for some women to be in the mood, find a decent romantic ways to arouse her before you start. After some time, she may be asking for it, not you demanding for it. When it comes to marriage, you need to be patient and think deeply before you take some decisions. The second wife is out of place because it will even compound your problem. One wife, one problem. Two wives two problem. Infact, you may have up to 20 different problem with just one wife not to talk of two wives. You may be digging your grave if you venture into especially, if you marry the second wife because of sex. How much sex can really satisfy a man? Even if you have ten wives, you will stiil be asking for more. Find other things to do apart from sex, engage yourself in something that outlive you, so that when you die, people will say, thank God for your life. God bless you. God2man. wives two problem. Infact, you may have up to 20 different problem with just one wife not to talk of two wives. You may be digging your grave if you venture into especially, if you marry the second wife because of sex. How much sex can really satisfy a man? Even if you have ten wives, you will stiil be asking for more. Find other things to do apart from sex, engage yourself in something that outlive you, so that when you die, people will say, thank God for your life. God bless you. God2man.

[b]Time tested knowledge for the first wife.



The Good Wife's Guide

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place.
[/b]

What if the woman never knew what s.e.xual satisfaction is all about??, what if she has never reached, 'that height', and the guy does not know how to carry her, push her, hang her, and so on??. How would she be able to satisfy her man. Because i know that some men their goal is only to pour and stand up,


@ Nayah, so you would support your man having a girlfriend outside, besides you?? are you married?

@ronkebp
Pls leave Nayah alone on this. She's happily married and so is my wife!!!

^^^^ Splitnaija i know you dey campaign, but let me hear from the 'horses mouth' naa!!! we are here to learn! shey??

After few years into the marriage the women just lay there in the bed and just want you to do what you wanna do and get off. Like you f*cking a dead meat/body. So eventually it gets boring and as a gee its not about just releasing the fun and the theatrics are important too. So you will take a drive out in the evennings sat/Sunday , get some fantasies to reality and then come back home smiling   after a well fulfilled weekend

That woman is lazy and she do something, the same woman you can imagine will willingly be giving head to her boyfriend and can't do that for the husband. You will be shocked with women and their secrets. And how they like to turn the table.

You can do serial monogamy divorce and remarry different women. Or never get married and have chance of lifetime opportunity to have girlfriends. Thats after you already achieved kids if you want kids . Marriage is not for everyone I always say that.

Some women need the book "Housewife for Dummies"

tEsLim:

After few years into the marriage the women just lay there in the bed and just want you to do what you wanna do and get off. Like you bleeping a dead meat/body. So eventually it gets boring and as a gee its not about just releasing the fun and the theatrics are important too. So you will take a drive out in the evennings sat/Sunday , get some fantasies to reality and then come back home smiling after a well fulfilled weekend

[b]That woman is lazy and she do something, the same woman you can imagine will willingly be giving head to her boyfriend and can't do that for the husband. You will be shocked with women and their secrets. And how they like to turn the table.[/b]You can do serial monogamy divorce and remarry different women. Or never get married and have chance of lifetime opportunity to have girlfriends. Thats after you already achieved kids if you want kids . Marriage is not for everyone I always say that.

Some women need the book "Housewife for Dummies"

That is what am talking about, if she can do it for her boyfriend, why not her husband something is just wrong, maybe they are no longer attracted to eachother,

dear ronkebp, as a woman of course NOT, I can't push my fiance or husband in others woman's hands but let's get realistic my dear: Infidelity exists and many of our sisters are victims of this phenomenon, (guys also of course) and it seems to be a growing trend so my sister I would prefer he has a GF outside than someone else sharing my bed, with my husband, can you see the difference? Building a home, "territory" with your family's interests with another person and officially I'd SAY NO

Do you know the difference between a mistress ( who can be loved also) and a wife?
The one could share the bed while the other share his life

Nayah:

dear ronkebp, as a woman of course NOT, I can't push my fiance or husband in others woman's hands but let's get realistic my dear: Infidelity exists and many of our sisters are victims of this phenomenon, (guys also of course) and it seems to be a growing trend so my sister I would prefer he has a GF outside than someone else sharing my bed, with my husband, can you see the difference? Building a home, "territory" with your family's interests with another person and officially I'd SAY NO

Do you know the difference between a mistress ( who can be loved also) and a wife?
The one could share the bed while the other share his life

I gat you, but what if, that mistress becomes a second wife one way or the other?, some men are heartless you know, and that is only because they feel they can get away with any thing.Moreso i have seen this alot and i am tired of seeing. Will men cheat at a point in their lives Oh yes!!!! infact, plenty of times, am i going to encourage him having a mistress inorder to protect my marraige common now!!!

ronkebp, you know reality and fairy tales are complety different, marriage is a marathon
I've never said I 'd leave him having an affair crossed arms but come on my sister, being a Mrs is an everyday fight, but a spirit fight my dear, not everything is achieved by shouting or agressivity, sometimes subtility is better

1 Knowing and observing your husband
2- Making him having shame of himself

Nayah:

dear ronkebp, as a woman of course NOT, I can't push my fiance or husband in others woman's hands but let's get realistic my dear: Infidelity exists and many of our sisters are victims of this phenomenon, (guys also of course) and it seems to be a growing trend so my sister I would prefer he has a GF outside than someone else sharing my bed, with my husband, can you see the difference? Building a home, "territory" with your family's interests with another person and officially I'd SAY NO

Do you know the difference between a mistress ( who can be loved also) and a wife?
The one could share the bed while the other share his life

people like you will live long and enjoy good health. I was going out with a married man back then in school, when i was through with him i moved on, i needed him then for a reason he needed me for a reason when we both have satisfied our needs i was out of his life he is still with his wife till tomorrow and the old woman kept looking like a fine girl because there is no second wife. i am not proud of what i did but i owe no one any explanation and if same happen to me so be it once i still have my husband im fine. That they wont cheat? say that to the birds

waka girl my sister, I'm not going to judge you because we all make mistakes, but yes my dear a married man rarely divorce and you might be very disappointed and might waste your time
YOu'll have yours my dear

Nayah:

ronkebp, you know reality and fairy tales are complety different, marriage is a marathon
I've never said I 'd leave him having an affair crossed arms but come on my sister, being a Mrs is an everyday fight, but a spirit fight my dear, not everything is achieved by shouting or agressivity, sometimes subtility is better

1 Knowing and observing your husband
2- Making him having shame of himself

No marriage is not a fight. If you want to sentence yourself to a life of struggle then put on fatigues and go off to war. This whole idea of a mistress sharing his bed and you sharing his life is hog wash. Who told you that you share his life. Please this is just a lie women tell themselves to accomodate their failures. If a woman does a better job than you in pleasing your husband sexually while you pat yourself on the back because "you are sharing his life" then you have failed as a wife. The woman sharing his bed does she have two heads. I don't even know what philosophy you go by. It's like you have that mentality of letting him fail and then he will come back running. That does not only make him a bad husband but it also makes the woman weak as a human being not even as a woman. If the only time he wants you is when he is ashamed then he is definitely better off with the mistress

outstrip a guy who doesn't love you you'll know I 've never said it couldn't love his mistress, and actually in my previous comments I said it, but let' s be logical, guys don't like shouting, fight and so on we women have to be smarter and making them have shame

A woman who knows and observing but not silent might have better chance to handle this kind of matter than a agressive one
As for sharing his life I'm talking about the whole package including intimate relations, but sorry sister if you're just have se x you might be limited
Imagine the woman sharing his bed, but don't know how to behave in public? or having limited conversations?

And let me tell you something else, if you 're be the second, he might probably do this to you too

Nayah:

waka girl my sister, I'm not going to judge you because we all make mistakes, but yes my dear a married man rarely divorce and you might be very disappointed and might waste your time
YOu'll have yours my dear

no i didnt waste my time i achieved what i wanted from him and i was never going to marry him so never expected him to divorce, just that unfortunately he could not offer what i wanted from like without the affairs and once it was over it was a pleasant goodbye, i am not going to get my own because i have already infact a very lovely man. such is life my sis

Nayah:

ronkebp, you know reality and fairy tales are complety different, marriage is a marathon
I've never said I 'd leave him having an affair crossed arms but come on my sister, being a Mrs is an everyday fight, but a spirit fight my dear, not everything is achieved by shouting or agressivity, sometimes subtility is better

1 Knowing and observing your husband
2- Making him having shame of himself

My dear, let me let you in on how i fight my battles, in my bedroom, at night, firing fire (prayer) on whoever and whenever, that is how i fight my battles, and to give my hubby the bestest intimacy ever that would make him convulse, i no get time to the rant, moreover, it will not lead any where, and i made that fight my portion, because not only do i want my husband to prosper but to be there for me and his children, and if i want peace by having to share my love with another woman, so that i can have him stay with me, ? let me not enter that room!!!!
let me not oooo because if i go on my knees and pray, my dear, that person wey dey shack my hubby don disappear tey tey!!! (joke).

^^^^hehehe I like someone who knows what he wants may God help you sister
wakagirl congrats!! sure you're becoming a good wife

Outstrip:


No marriage is not a fight. If you want to sentence yourself to a life of struggle then put on fatigues and go off to war. This whole idea of a mistress sharing his bed and you sharing his life is hog wash. Who told you that you share his life. Please this is just a lie women tell themselves to accomodate their failures. If a woman does a better job than you in pleasing your husband sexually while you pat yourself on the back because "you are sharing his life" then you have failed as a wife. The woman sharing his bed does she have two heads. I don't even know what philosophy you go by. It's like you have that mentality of letting him fail and then he will come back running. That does not only make him a bad husband but it also makes the woman weak as a human being not even as a woman. If the only time he wants you is when he is ashamed then he is definitely better off with the mistress

My dear, you have hit the nail on the head. God bless you for these beautiful words. Its time woman wakes up to face the realities of the changing times

Na Olosho/abante/mikey/abana go collect husband for all of una hand! When you where dating you was giving head, bending over, doggy, touch toes now its only missionary. Thats scam na! You advertised wrong product and give something else after marriage. And most men wont wanna complain for long, silently would just go for covet operations.

Nothing wrong in having a second wife if you have money.

@Ifyalways: « #23 on: Today at 02:34:36 PM »
[Quote]Quote from: Sweetnecta on Today at 02:00:53 PM
i have to first laugh at the bold, before i express my opinion at the person who penned it and the message itself.

You seem to be living in an environment less aware of world view than a villager in this matter of 2nd wife.

There is nothing wrong in a 2nd or even higher number of wives, as long as the husband can financially and emotionally be responsible in the matter. If every eligible male is married to one eligible female, you will have some large number of eligible females without a husband. What should be the social solution except to marry, as a co wife to husband that has capability to handle such a condition.

Imagine a wealthy man who likes sex with a wife who can't keep up. If we remove jealousy out of it, there is a solution in taking a 2nd wife. And not all women are jealous.

@Bolded,Interesting.New one!
Any proves Undecided[/Quote]My mother. My senior wife. I'm sure, even you is not the jealous type. What you want for yourself, you must want for your sister should be the motto of all people who are God conscious.

@ebonylove

NLanders i have seen polygamy at work o and trust me it is soo not fun. You think it is all about sex and money (maybe), but that is not all it is about jealously, rivality, deviousness, prayers for things that can be avoided, in worst cases juju, poison and all your children must leave in a church abroad o.

mother inlaws telling you how to deal with your husbands wife, children envy, different vissions from lots of pastors. Abeg if he cant calm his intimacy drive and you cant give it to him more abeg divorce o at least the bible allows it on infidelity grounds.

Thank you very much for this quote!
It is worth a "tiny observation" that in all the highlighted parts, they are all the handiwork of WOMEN!

Why are the "father-in-laws" not usually involved in these shady things?


BTW: I get tripped by the way WOMEN GO BALLISTIC once the word "second" and "wife" are put in the same sentence!

Makes a very interesting observation and object of study!
Just wondering why "men" dont react the same way?
Any reasonable/intelligent suggestions?

r u living in the US or Nigeria. Second wife where? In yankee, I don't think so.

Haba! what is wrong in taking a 2nd wife? This is a matter of life and death

If supply cannot keep up to demand, there will be scarcity of resources and price will shot up, if the wife (supplier) cannot keep up to the husband (demand), there is already scarcity (Intimate) in the market, so the man need another supplier to cope with the demand. Abeg let the man go ahead.

On a serious note, alot of wife now, once they get married, that all, " i don get you, nothing dey happen" is there word women need competition which we all know help the consumer and lower the cost of goods in this case; it lower the cost the man pays to be intimate alot nough spit.

Attend to madam whenever she's is in the mood and don't be mad at her if she is not (maybe she's a prayer warrior and always fasting, who knows? ) But pls  don't ever take a 2nd wife, rather go discrete and keep a small "Okpeke" somewhere who is agile and ever ready to allow you "in" 24x7

ronkebp:

Will men cheat at a point in their lives Oh yes!!!! infact, plenty of times,

Ronke long time, but did you really typed this? this is a sharp deviation on your position about men on
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-710353.0.html.

back to the topic, the woman is the one complaining, so she either shape-in or chip-out; the husband can not be as bad as she claimed.

ebonyvibe:

Da doctor back off go and slap your slave wife at home and leave me alone.

Dont have your time and my home is very good thank u dont see how it is your business. You are just an insecure miserable man

  its gud for you Da native doctor

thou art not sick, thou art not spiri problems, many thou here dont just get it, thou only need a VIBRATRESS

Afro_Blue:

[b]Time tested knowledge for the first wife.   



The Good Wife's Guide

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little man-lover and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place.
[/b]

How do i come in.
Attention pls for the full house wives

ikooko:

Ronke long time, but did you really typed this? this is a sharp deviation on your position about men on
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-710353.0.html.

back to the topic, the woman is the one complaining, so she either shape-in or chip-out; the husband can not be as bad as she claimed.

That is the essence of 'nairaland' to learn, at most i have learnt that 99% of men cheat, here on nairaland, so just a few are saints, so it has made change my view to an extent and not have heart attack if the said happens, i will just be ready to do my own thing!! shikena!!!

ronkebp:

That is the essence of 'nairaland' to learn, at most i have learnt that 99% of men cheat, here on nairaland, so just a few are saints, so it has made change my view to an extent and not have heart attack if the said happens, i will just be ready to do my own thing!! shikena!!!

You are learning.

So how do we start cheating too?

So agree with Nayah !

There is this dumb kid in another section who was arguing about couple swinging and stuff. Wish he came here to read this thread and understand how a 'normal' woman thinks.
Back to topic, the woman in question has to do all that is possible to avert the situation of sharing her husband and her home with another woman. Be it medical help, spiritual help, whatever.