r231:

^^^^Nigerian men like me and you will knw

if something like that is wrong with our wives

and wont allow any family member to examine

something like that

but the single fact that she has told her husband before that she's not comfortable with her brother in law examining her shows nigerian men can be insensitive. this is not the first time this is happening. but the husband still went ahead to take her to his brother's hospital.
nigerian men can be forgetful when it comes to issues like this. the match between arsenal and enyimba is all they think about.

coogar:

but the single fact that she has told her husband before that she's not comfortable with her brother in law examining her shows nigerian men can be insensitive. this is not the first time this is happening. but the husband still went ahead to take her to his brother's hospital.
nigerian men can be forgetful when it comes to issues like this. the match between arsenal and enyimba is all they think about.

hahaha

well in this case maybe she didn't tell him why

like you said Nigerian men we want to knw why

cus you not going to make me to pay elsewhere

when i can get the service for free

r231:

hahaha

well in this case maybe she didn't tell him why

like you said Nigerian men we want to knw why

cus you not going to make me to pay elsewhere

when i can get the service for free

in her company's hospital, the service is free and i know it will be better.

coogar:

in her company's hospital, the service is free and i know it will be better.

well the husband feels more comfortable with his brother than the other doctor from her office

he wants to keep it in the family

All she has to do is explain to her husband her genuine reasons for avoiding her BIL's hospital, before the guy start to think that she does not like his brother, and wahala will start!!!

ronkebp:

All she has to do is explain to her husband her genuine reasons for avoiding her BIL's hospital, before the guy start to think that she does not like his brother, and wahala will start!!!

true

ronkebp:

All she has to do is explain to her husband her genuine reasons for avoiding her BIL's hospital, before the guy start to think that she does not like his brother, and wahala will start!!!

perfecto!
now this is what you should have typed in the previous page. . . . . .saying she has something to hide seems kind of harsh!

r231:

well the husband feels more comfortable with his brother than the other doctor from her office

he wants to keep it in the family

another classic example of a naija man's insensitivity.

coogar:


another classic example of a naija man's insensitivity.

yes ke

r231:

I am talking about her husband bro

Not me. . . . shoooo

we are on NHS bro so i don't care where my wife goes

i wasn't referring to you. . . . .i was referring to her husband.
if keeping it in the family is what's on his mind and ignoring his wifey's comfort zone, then the husband is insensitive.

coogar:

i wasn't referring to you. . . . .i was referring to her husband.
if keeping it in the family is what's on his mind and ignoring his wifey's comfort zone, then the husband is insensitive.

kinda fig dat out

but in this case you can see that the husband trying to save some money and keep it in the family

r231:

kinda fig dat out

but in this case you can see that the husband trying to save some money and keep it in the family

there's no money to be saved.
the chic gets free medical service from her company.

there's nothing to keep in the family too.
the chic does not want the bro-in-law to examine her - she's not comfortable with it!

Maybe there is more to this.

coogar:

there's no money to be saved.
the chic gets free medical service from her company.

there's nothing to keep in the family too.
the chic does not want the bro-in-law to examine her - she's not comfortable with it!

there must be a reason why her husband keep taking her there after she had alrdy told him she is not comfortable with it

Hmm I think she should choose who she wants to check her Kongo

Ridiculous. I know someone whose brother in law was her OBGYN. It was not her choice either. I can vomit just thinking about it. Ewwwwwww

I do understand the poster's position.Its just plain awkward letting your BIL touch you all in the name of feeling your pulse,not to mention real body examination.
@OP,You need to talk with your husband.It won't help seeing a doctor you are uncomfortable with as you might be forced to hide some facts from him. . .which would turn out bad for you,your husband and everyone ultimately.

Dont go there unless its the only hospital that can treat your known condition. Its better for a stranger to be aware of your medical condition than for it to be spread within the family, you may not be able to handle it and this can affect you, your marriage and your family adversely.

treating malaria is fine.

more personal stuff- ok to go to someone else.

but dont hold it against your hubby if he doesnt see it that way.

men are like that sometimes.

As I have learnt, medical practitioners are advised not to do some certain examination for family member. So going to your BIN hospital doesn't really mean he'll be the one to conduct the test. The thing is just that you will be closely monitored, which is good, except you have something to hide

It is neither here or there but i think for extreme privacy sake, it is safer to seek an alternative doc; i may be wrong!

@ OP:
1. It should be easier for you to discuss this with your husband not Nairalanders but maybe you are looking for a more diversified view.
2. Marriage? Honesty is the lock, the key and the door, Be totally upfront with him and discuss all your reservations and reasons why you feel otherwise about this particular decision.
3. Any other time you have a different point of view, tell him alongside your reasons and smooth it out, YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO TRUST HIS JUDGEMENT JUST AS HE HAS TO LEARN TO TRUST YOURS.

Remember! there are lots of people who are more comfortable with In-law/family related doctors and similarly lots of people that are not.

My Two Cents

It depends on the type of examination we're talking about. If it's a breast exam or a vaginal exam, definitely not.

Your brother in law should not become so familiar with his sister in laws private areas.

<sup>It depends on the type of examination we're talking about. If it's a bosom exam or a womanly exam, definitely not.

Your brother in law should not become so familiar with his sister in laws private areas.</sup>
Gbam: you are absolutely right.

ifyalways:

I do understand the poster's position.Its just plain awkward letting your BIL touch you all in the name of feeling your pulse,not to mention real body examination.
@OP,You need to talk with your husband.It won't help seeing a doctor you are uncomfortable with as you might be forced to hide some facts from him. . .which would turn out bad for you,your husband and everyone ultimately.

very important.

If this woman has to strip or to be touch down there hmmmm how awkward during family party's ie christmas,bd party's and so on. I won't be comfortable walking around that bil anymore. Married or not everybody has there right to privacy in that area.

If you are not comfortable then you sure free to use your company's hospital.

i dnt thnk its ryt.excpt 4 emergency.its 2 private.prevntn is beta dan cure

have you ever heard of the saying that don't mix private life with bzns? well it's there for a reason. Imagine your brother inlaw seeing you naked when he has to do the checkup and perfom some necessary medical tasks then next thing you see him at a family gathering. Honey nooooooooooooooo its better to go to a doctor which you have no connection with.

Iranoladun:
I'm sick and my husband took me to his brother's hospoital even though he knows I don't like it. I cannot drive due to my illness but I already called a cab to come and take me to my company's hospital. Do you think am wrong? Will you get medical treatment from your in-law who is a medical doctor?

If it is just normal paracetamol, ok.For medical examination whereby you have to open your body , hell NO because their will never be any respect from him. Do not try it.Very wrong.At any point he sees you, the memory will be there.He can prescribe and not for antenatal or anything of such.

r231:




isn't there something like patient confidentiality thingy in Nigeria?

cus even though he is your brother in law

he still cant discuss your medical history with your brother except you authorise it

Siddon there

ronkebp:
Unless you have something to hide, i really do not see anything wrong in your BIL examining you, what if you were pregnant and he had to touch and feel the 'inside'. Moreover, is he the only doctor in that hospital, there might be other doctors that can assist you, you know!!!

U speak like a kid, a really senseless one, why being so judgemental, so because she is not comfortable being treated in a BIL hospital, she got something to hide...coming from a fellow lady that's pathetic

No problem, except he is a gyno. I won't have brother anywhere around 'my temple'. Even the bible is against it.