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Why Are You A Single Mum? - Family - Nairaland

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Why Are You A Single Mum? by 9jamum(f): 3:30pm On Sep 17, 2011
Hello everyone. I am a single mother of a beautiful girl , my Princess.

There is more to ths story. Here is what the rest of the story
http://singlenaijamum.com

Would you want to share your experience as a single mum or dad?
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by tpia5: 12:09am On Oct 25, 2011
i dont understand why people feel it's ok to drag their personal matters into the open in this irresponsible manner sha.

but to each his/her own.

should you be exposing your daughter like this?

or is your story fake.
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by Nobody: 12:29pm On Oct 25, 2011
Tpia
What is ur problem? This a reality for a lot of people. There's nothing her child did to be ashamed of.
I have friends who are single mothers. Thanks for sharing ur story. We need to stop sweeping issues under the rug like they don't matter.

1 Like

Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by femmy2010(m): 2:41pm On Oct 25, 2011
@tpia,
I see no wrong or harm in the OP post.
I am sure there exist a lesson to be learn in the OP Post.
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by tpia5: 9:22pm On Oct 25, 2011
let's respond to the thread starter, not my post, thanks.

like i said, the op isnt presenting herself in a good light here.

there are threads about single mums- maybe he or she should try the search function and learn a thing or two.
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by Nobody: 9:29pm On Oct 25, 2011
Who cares about ur standards tpia. Move along. Freaking hypocrite. What u do behind closed doors sef can embarrass the devil. Op does not have to write in ur light so suck it.

2 Likes

Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by tpia5: 9:31pm On Oct 25, 2011
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by femmy2010(m): 10:57pm On Oct 25, 2011
@tpia,your earlier post was in response to the OP post and not the topic "why are you a single mother".
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by tpia5: 11:01pm On Oct 25, 2011
^^my point there was she can ask her question without involving all those details about her daughter.

that wasnt necessary especially since all s/he wanted was just some juicy gist and traffic for his/her blog.

i'll modify my post. undecided
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by samtoye(m): 5:03pm On Oct 26, 2011
Is Single motherhood something to celebrate or be happy about? why make it look like a jamboree!!! Boyfriend of 4 years left you and 8 years after you are still a single mom; hmmmmmmmm, check yourself.
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by Nobody: 5:46pm On Oct 26, 2011
Yes it is actyally Samtoye. Unlike the deadbeat Dad she stepped up to the plate and raised a fabulous daughter. The worth of a woman is not in her marital status. She has done more than most people could ever achieve. Let her celebrate her triumphs and STFU if u have nothing nice to say

1 Like

Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by 9jamum(f): 2:35am On Oct 27, 2011
A lot of times we hide from the hurt inside just becos of what people will say or think about us. I quiet agree. Maybe its the right thing to do or not, i cant say for others but for me, telling my story is for the purpose of healing. I told my story not for anyone in particular to celebrate me but i guess a lot of pple dont like it.  I am very proud of my daughter and trust me if you have one like her you will be very proud of her too. I am thankful today that i had her.  You may not like how i came to be single or that i am still single but its okay.

@Tpia, we all may not know how to go about topics on forum, thats why i want to say, for trying to "advice me" , i say thank you. For every other person, i just want to say, i really need to exhale and that is what is important to me right now.
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by tpia5: 3:45am On Oct 27, 2011
^^we've all been there sweetie.

but first and foremost you should weigh if the need to share with strangers on the www should transcend your daughter's need to have a mum who doesnt reveal every single thing on the web.

it's not like the incident just happened and you're still adjusting to the situation.

you said it's been 8 years.

i'm just saying- you never know who's following your posts online.

also, i hope you can get closer to God and trust in his wisdom.
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by 9jamum(f): 4:46pm On Oct 27, 2011
@Tpia, I have noted all you have said. Thank you again
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by Kunbee: 11:14pm On Oct 27, 2011
Subscribing smiley
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by delpee(f): 10:58pm On Oct 28, 2011
@Poster
Please exhale with your close family and friends preferably. Talk to God and keep praising him for what you have.
BTW try to ensure that your daughter has contact and some form of relationship with her dad for balanced development. Thats not to say you are not doing a good job. God bless you both.

1 Like

Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by Nobody: 9:51am On Oct 30, 2011
@OP,
CONGRATS on raising your daughter on your own.As for haters like TPIA,just ignore them!

1 Like

Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by Nobody: 10:02am On Oct 30, 2011
samtoye:

Is Single motherhood something to celebrate or be happy about? why make it look like a jamboree!!! Boyfriend of 4 years left you and 8 years after you are still a single mom; hmmmmmmmm, check yourself.

Your comments are unfair.

Not everyone goes out of their way to be single mothers, these things do happen. Some have their partners leave them, some get divorced, some are made widows. Do they get rid of their children then, because they're single? Besides, why shouldn't she be happy? She's done a great job raising her daughter on her own till now, isn't that something to celebrate?

Yes, she's still single 8 years after her boyfriend of 4 years left her, big deal. Only in Nigeria is the impression created, that marriage is compulsory, and people end up getting married to the wrong people, for the wrong reasons. Personally, I feel 9jamum should take as long as she needs before committing herself to any man. Right now, the welfare of her daughter should be paramount.

2 Likes

Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by freecocoa(f): 10:47am On Oct 30, 2011
What's the argument about sef?anyway I'm no single mother so I beg to take my leave,
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by tpia5: 3:58pm On Oct 30, 2011
Right now, the welfare of her daughter should be paramount.

so in what way exactly is this thread helping her daughter's welfare?
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by Nobody: 4:38pm On Oct 30, 2011
tpia@:

so in what way exactly is this thread helping her daughter's welfare?

So in what way exactly do your responses relate to the purpose of this thread?
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by Nobody: 6:24pm On Oct 30, 2011
Siena:

Your comments are unfair.

Not everyone goes out of their way to be single mothers, these things do happen. Some have their partners leave them, some get divorced, some are made widows. Do they get rid of their children then, because they're single? Besides, why shouldn't she be happy? She's done a great job raising her daughter on her own till now, isn't that something to celebrate?

Yes, she's still single 8 years after her boyfriend of 4 years left her, big deal. Only in Nigeria is the impression created, that marriage is compulsory, and people end up getting married to the wrong people, for the wrong reasons. Personally, I feel 9jamum should take as long as she needs before committing herself to any man. Right now, the welfare of her daughter should be paramount.


Words of a sage.
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by Roland17(m): 7:12pm On Oct 30, 2011
Many comments here are selfish, no wonder its a parasitic world. many have loads of problem and are craving to speak to the right people. being a single a mother or single father has never been by choice, many who have ended single mothers or fathers wanted to have a happy home. but like i always say, its not the end of the world.

1 Like

Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by 9jamum(f): 2:12pm On Oct 31, 2011
@ Roland17, you are right, its not the end of the world, actually, life just got more beautiful, it depends on how we look at the glass.

Thank God for the privilege to be a mother!
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by 9jamum(f): 1:14pm On Nov 01, 2011
@ Kunbee, thanks for suscribing, lol
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by pakoto: 1:31pm On Jul 13, 2012
Nigeria and soo much hypocrisy even those running and their 50th abortion will open their big silly mouths and start judge,@tpia so you can say get closer to God but forget that God is love ? , that the bible says thou shall not judge?

Not everyone who is a single mother is wayward, if aren't a virgin you have absolutely have no right to condemn any Single parent , once is enough to become a parent

SHE has every right to ventilate at least she didn't post with her real name and address or fb ID,or whatever personal info

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Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by Nobody: 2:07pm On Jul 14, 2012
@ op live ur life jare and dont let anyone make u feel bad about ur status.take care of ur daughter,these nigerian men are hypocrite.d funny part of it is dat when d gal grows up and becomes someone to be reckoned with,they'll forget dey said u should abort d pregnancy.since u've taken up both positions since d man dat God u pregnant is nt man enough to father ur child,i celebrate u and others like u,because like my pastor will say it takes more than impregnating a woman to be a father,which of course many nigerian men lack and dey r comin here to judge,mshewww.i love ur courage jare

1 Like

Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by victorian(f): 8:07pm On Jul 22, 2012
True words smiley....@ kuylie....true facts....Gbam!

1 Like

Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by stepo707: 11:39am On Jul 23, 2012
Thats why i hate nairaland sometimes.some people actually need encouragement while some wants others to learn but some stupid and senseless ones will always discourage it through attack as if it is personal. angry

1 Like

Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by tpia5: 4:59am On Aug 23, 2012
I simply narrated how I came to be a single mother. I never intended to expose my daughter in anyway

i think you should remove all references to your daughter. And the father as well.

just a suggestion.

you dont know who is reading all this.
Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by Kobojunkie: 5:11am On Aug 23, 2012
I am sorry if you are still here on Nairaland but I cannot stand by while people attempt to use the Bible to justify some moot point of theirs.
pakoto: Nigeria and soo much hypocrisy even those running and their 50th abortion will open their big silly mouths and start judge,@tpia so you can say get closer to God but forget that God is love ? , that the bible says thou shall not judge?

The Bible does not say that you should not judge at all. It says one should not judge unless one is willing to be open to be judged by the very same standards one judges with. So if you are open to that, then by all means judge away. It does also call for righteous judgement.

pakoto:
Not everyone who is a single mother is wayward, if aren't a virgin you have absolutely have no right to condemn any Single parent , once is enough to become a parent

SHE has every right to ventilate at least she didn't post with her real name and address or fb ID,or whatever personal info

By sharing her story on an open forum, she does open herself to being judged. Unfortunately that is the reality of things. And I do agree that we do not want to celebrate single motherhood especially since majority of those out there who single mothers DID NOT make a choice to be, like the @OP did.

There are "Single mothers" out there who are abandoned wives/ex-wives raising more than one kid and not sure where to get money to feed them. There are the mother's out there who are struggling to understand what happened, where and how they can fix it, how they can help their kids understand why they were essentially abandoned. While I am happy that the @OP is happy with her CHOICE to be a single mother, it will be unfair to make it appear that the situation is anywhere that simple for the majority out there.

2 Likes

Re: Why Are You A Single Mum? by shaybebaby(f): 12:08pm On Aug 23, 2012
tpia@:


i think you should remove all references to your daughter. And the father as well.

just a suggestion.

you dont know who is reading all this.

Free country mate or should I say world, despite your opinion(however well meaning), there's nothing in her post that can identify her daughter or the parties in real life so no harm done. She's looking to share her experiences with people in similar circumtances and hear from them as well. If the shoe don't fit...

2 Likes

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