NoToPile:


Arrh I asked the same question @ first bolded, there is a very dangerous trend of irresponsible guys of marriagable age these days. It's not even about how much or how little they earn, it's about the terrible mindset.

Ladies should shine their eyes.

These generation of mothers should raise their sons well oo else a very major disaster is looming in the future.

Too much wailing and whining arrh.

This is what you get raising effeminate men who do not know what manhood/fatherhood is about.

The tragedy is that despite in their effeminateness, they are not useful in feminine roles at home.

In local parlence: short 1.

Gerrard59:




Bros,

The situation dey everywhere. Two days ago, I was watching a CNN video on YouTube about the decline in marriage. The expert said it is because young men are not educated as before due to a focus on educating women, offshoring of manufacturing jobs which men usually hold, women squaring up with men economically but maintaining hypergamous standards for filtering them etc. The issue, he said is that there is a dearth of quality men for these women who are in great abundance. As a result, men are staying lonelier since this group of women don't want them. Here is the video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK4y6C1Uuhw If to say na black man, I for think say na our brother in Christ - Pansophi.st.

Modernisation has been very good in providing goods and services - affordably and seamlessly. Also, quality of life has improved tremendously, and poverty has declined drastically. But it has resulted in sheer competition for scarce resources, and with women in the workforce, the competition gets fiercer. So, an average man is not just competing with his fellow average dudes but women, some of them are treated preferentially. Na one of the reasons the new South Korean president won, the men got fed up with how women were treated preferentially, yet they (men) are mandated to enlist in national service and have to be the provider in the family. In return, South Korean women no dey gree born or marry since they want to be very good at whatever they do and don't want to continue in the patriarchial system as their mothers. The result? The birth rate in SK is the lowest globally at 0.8, way below the standard for developed countries at 2.1. The same competition is part of the causes of low birth rates in China, Singapore and Japan. Unlike other parts of the world, in East Asia, children born out of wedlock are frowned upon. Rightfully so, because children born in single-parent families tend to be poorer than their parents, and single-mother families tend to be the poorest. In Japan, families with single mothers constitute the highest number of poor people. So East Asians are wary of having children out of wedlock. The costs are just too high socially, economically etc. Government no dey care about them. They focus on married couples. You see why I laugh when our people promote baby-mamaism?

So, Nigeria's case is even worse than the US, especially in the south; the competition for scarce jobs is very high. In 2018 abi 2019, more than 76K applied for PwC's graduate trainee. That same year, Seplat's applications was over 40K (i wrote about the recruitment process then on NL). Since then, Seplat never recruit again. Meanwhile, she is supposed to recruit every four years. In North America, oil companies recruited as oil prices climbed up. In Nigeria, companies no even see the oil to pipe to the awaiting seaborne tankers.

If not for religion and maybe culture, marriage rates for don drop in Nigeria as people would see that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Religion offers hope. Africans' case is even worse than East Asians because they cannot move out easily to neighbouring countries to work and earn higher salaries. Japanese, South Koreans and Singaporeans can work in Australia, New Zealand, the US etc., earn higher salaries and later move back. The average Japanese who knows English has opportunities to work in Australia or apply for an L1 visa to work in the US for higher salaries. After all, more than 60% of the 24K+ Japanese researchers outside Japan are women. Where a typical Nigerian woman or man wan go? Na Niger Republic or Chad? Ghana? South Africa wey try dey OK, dem no like us. Even them sef get their wahala. Meanwhile, South Koreans are in the top 15 nationalities for Express Entry to Canada. Luckily for these Asians, the re-offshoring/friend-shoring of jobs away from China would benefit them in the long run.

I was thinking yesterday one of the reasons for the high rate of hookups na because things don hard for Nigeria. Just like the YT video, there are very few quality Nigerian men, unlike during Jonathan's administration. The few quality men are either married or have japa or want to japa. As jobs no too dey with low salaries, high cost of living and exposure to social media (these girls want to live like South Korean women, but where the work dey?), they resort to hookup. Luckily for them, the average Nigerian man likes to fvck. So when ₦2 enters his hand, he has budgeted ₦1 for toto services. I recall a tweet then by one chubby girl paraphrased - "why enter into a relationship when the same fvck the man go want yet he is doing his part financially. I prefer hookup straightaway after all, na the same fvck we go fvck"

Reminds me of some years back when Catholic Mothers' Association was complaining of the dearth of quality (trained) men for their over trained daughters.

If it was when sex wasn't cheap, single women & men did not have access to spouse benefits and children outside wedlock was frowned upon, I would say things would balance up.

But now? I don't know.

bukatyne:


This is what you get raising effeminate men who do not know what manhood/fatherhood is about.

The tragedy is that despite in their effeminateness, they are not useful in feminine roles at home.

In local parlence: short 1.

Real short 1, be a man MBA, female roles nko? wahala. It is really well, real tragedy.

AbdulMagaji:




Big ass and bress no longer look attractive!

That's after 2years in marriage, most men lose interest in their wives, at that time she has born one child And a little attached to the offspring

6ixT8:


Pls what kind of side hustle would you recommend someone should do?

Bro I personally don't like recommending because it isn't easy. Personally, I trade's forex. Nobody is trading for me. I learned in 2005 as a little boy and still trading till date. It's not as easy and sweet as people say. People lose their money and savings and that's why I never encourage people to invest in it because it is a long journey. I lost my own money in those years. Today I am making a lot from it. I should also note that I am a medical professional.

I would encourage you to learn something like a skill. A good one is something like Blender for creating movies. You can create short 3d movies of 5mins and garner millions of views on YouTube if you put effort into it. You can also go get some micro degrees in data processing. There is so much money there. There are young people in Nigeria that I know making more than 2m per month from their room just doing data processing and all that for companies abroad. There are jobs but you need the skill to match what is expected.

bukatyne:


Reminds me of some years back when Catholic Mothers' Association was complaining of the dearth of quality (trained) men for their over trained daughters.

If it was when sex wasn't cheap, single women & men did not have access to spouse benefits and children outside wedlock was frowned upon, I would say things would balance up.

But now? I don't know.

Even though I am liberal on sexual issues, I won't lie o, anytime I think about it, I agree that easy access to sex and contraception has rendered marriage less palatable. Why buy the cow when the milk is widely available and free? For instance, in western countries, birth rates are higher than in East Asian societies simply because the latter frowns on wedlock. A western couple can cohabit and bear children. In east Asia, dem must marry before a child is born.

The people who get to benefit from the current arrangement are well-to-do men. They have literally have plenty cows without owning a ranch.

Gerrard59:


Even though I am liberal on sexual issues, I won't lie o, anytime I think about it, I agree that easy access to sex and contraception has rendered marriage less palatable. Why buy the cow when the milk is widely available and free? For instance, in western countries, birth rates are higher than in East Asian societies simply because the latter frowns on wedlock. A western couple can cohabit and bear children. In east Asia, dem must marry before a child is born.

The people who get to benefit from the current arrangement are well-to-do men. They have literally have plenty cows without owning a ranch.

@bold:

Talk of own goal

After creating a system that is 'supposed to liberate' you.

NoToPile:


Real short 1, be a man MBA, female roles nko? wahala. It is really well, real tragedy.

The crisis has unfortunately just started.

With masculine women and the feminine men raised today, the unfolding drama would be epic.

Gerrard59:
■ Even though I am liberal on sexual issues, I won't lie o, anytime I think about it, I agree that easy access to sex and contraception has rendered marriage less palatable. Why buy the cow when the milk is widely available and free? For instance, in western countries, birth rates are higher than in East Asian societies simply because the latter frowns on wedlock. A western couple can cohabit and bear children. In east Asia, dem must marry before a child is born.
■ The people who get to benefit from the current arrangement are well-to-do men. They have literally have plenty cows without owning a ranch.

1. Does the cow still wish to be bought out or does it instead enjoy roaming free, giving its milk freely to whomever it chooses?

2. You mean the cows do not themselves equally benefit from the same well-to-do men?

bukatyne:
@bold:
Talk of own goal After creating a system that is 'supposed to liberate' you.

■ This "glory in marriage" mentality seems to color your perception of all things.

bukatyne:
■ The crisis has unfortunately just started. With masculine women and the feminine men raised today, the unfolding drama would be epic.

1. Masculinity and feminity have to do with personality and not upbringing abeg!

Kobojunkie:
1. Masculinity and feminity have to do with personality and not upbringing abeg!

Kobo my friend, we have gisted more this few days than in years

We should have a date

It is more of upbringing (nurture) than personality (nature).

That's why courses on feminity and masculinity are selling fast!

A number of people realize they are not equipped to handle heterosexual relationships and have to learn how to.

Kobojunkie:
■ This "glory in marriage" mentality seems to color your perception of all things.

Glory in marriage, what an interesting way to put it.

Well, the complaints of women not getting 'quality men's or complaining men are scum & men complaining women are scam is out there.

And this is across nationalities; not an African thing.

A lot of people want marriage; perhaps on their own terms/ they are ill-prepared so fail at it/ or don't see why they should by the cow when they can get milk for free or they are afraid to be stripped of their worldly goods in future.

Humans are social beings and we want our own clan loyal to us or that would prioritize us first. You majorly get that by marriage, occult or a secluded religious order.

bukatyne:
■ Kobo my friend, we have gisted more this few days than in years We should have a date
It is more of upbringing (nurture) than personality (nature). That's why courses on feminity and masculinity are selling fast!
■ A number of people realize they are not equipped to handle heterosexual relationships and have to learn how to.

1. And I am instead saying that rather than nature and nurture, it instead has to do with the personality of the individual, the choices made by that individual.

2. Not being "equipped" to handle heterosexual relationships —whatever that means by the way— is something else entirely. I am not certain what you mean by that. Are you insinuating that homosexuals don't have masculine features as a result of being homosexual? Or are you saying you have never met a butch before?

bukatyne:
■ Glory in marriage, what an interesting way to put it. Well, the complaints of women not getting 'quality men's or complaining men are scum & men complaining women are scam is out there. And this is across nationalities; not an African thing.
■ A lot of people want marriage; perhaps on their own terms/ they are ill-prepared so fail at it/ or don't see why they should by the cow when they can get milk for free or they are afraid to be stripped of their worldly goods in the future.
■ Humans are social beings and we want our own clan loyal to us or that would prioritize us first. You majorly get that by marriage, occult or a secluded religious order.

1. Are they merely complaints or women voicing what is confirmed reality out there for them? Marriage has from its beginning been a choice, not a mandate. And the way I see it, people are finally accepting the reality of the institution and looking to find alternative ways to occupy their time. Why make it seem as though by doing so, they are to be looked down on or something.

2. Marriage is first and foremost an agreement between a man and a woman, so rightly, they ought to want it on their own terms and should not be willing to settle for anything less than that. So where marriage is not possible for them, there is absolutely nothing wrong with them exploring possible alternatives or maybe moving on from it completely, or is there?

3. Yeah.... none of what you said there rings a bell with me. My peace and quiet make way more sense to me than any of that. Does that mean I am not human at all?

Kobojunkie:

1. And I am instead saying that rather than nature and nurture, it instead has to do with the personality of the individual, the choices made by that individual.

2. Not being "equipped" to handle heterosexual relationships —whatever that means by the way— is something else entirely. I am not certain what you mean by that. Are you insinuating that homosexuals don't have masculine features as a result of being homosexual? Or are you saying you have never met a butch before?

1. And what informs our choices apart from our nature & how we were nurtured? Nurturing is not only by the immediate family; the whole society does the nurturing. Nobody makes a choice out of a vacuum.

2. I am referring to the needed polarity between men & women for a heterosexual romantic relationship to work between them.

bukatyne:
1. And what informs our choices apart from our nature & how we were nurtured? Nurturing is not only by the immediate family; the whole society does the nurturing. Nobody makes a choice out of a vacuum.

2. I am referring to the needed polarity between men & women for a heterosexual romantic relationship to work between them.

1. knowledge! Intuition.

2. Needed polarity between men & women? What in the world is that abeg?

Kobojunkie:

1. Are they merely complaints or women voicing what is confirmed reality out there for them? Marriage has from its beginning been a choice, not a mandate. And the way I see it, people are finally accepting the reality of the institution and looking to find alternative ways to occupy their time. Why make it seem as though by doing so, they are to be looked down on or something.

2. Marriage is first and foremost an agreement between a man and a woman, so rightly, they ought to want it on their own terms and should not be willing to settle for anything less than that. So where marriage is not possible for them, there is absolutely nothing wrong with them exploring possible alternatives or maybe moving on from it completely, or is there?

3. Yeah.... none of what you said there rings a bell with me. My peace and quiet make way more sense to me than any of that. Does that mean I am not human at all?

1. For women to complain that there are no available quality men, it means they desire marriage. Marriage is a choice and not a mandate; agreed. No one has gone to hell for staying single. The problem is that they want the benefits of marriage without the 'responsibilities'. People don't look down on Reverend sisters & fathers, monks or people known to be engrossed in their business or calling.

2. I have not asked people to settle for less: 'Can two work together except they be agreed? Amos 3:3' I was buttressing the point that a lot of people still want marriage irrespective of the demonization the institution has received.

3. Maybe, Maybe not 😂😂😂😂

Kobojunkie:
1. knowledge! Intuition.

2. Needed polarity between men & women? What in the world is that abeg?

1. Knowledge comes from where? Intuition comes from where? Knowledge & Intuition, Training & Personality yada yada is still pointing to Nature & Nurture. Knowledge is gotten from what you learnt (Nurture); Intuition is part of Nature.

2. This one na 15 units course mbok.

bukatyne:
1. For women to complain that there are no available quality men, it means they desire marriage. Marriage is a choice and not a mandate; agreed. No one has gone to hell for staying single.
■ The problem is that they want the benefits of marriage without the 'responsibilities'. People don't look down on Reverend sisters & fathers, monks or people known to be engrossed in their business or calling.
■ I have not asked people to settle for less: 'Can two work together except they be agreed? Amos 3:3' I was buttressing the point that a lot of people still want marriage irrespective of the demonization the institution has received.
■ Maybe, Maybe not 😂😂😂😂

1. Or they may simply be letting the "glory in marriage" crowd out there know exactly why marriage is simply not in their favor at the time.

2. That is ridiculous! Many of the same women work and are able to independently hold their own, and are willing to be equal partners in the agreement that is marriage. So how did you arrive at that ridiculous notion that they want marriage without the responsibilities? As for what you said of nuns and monks, isn't that also because they are seen by many of those who worship marriage as gods amongst men?

3. Marriage is a choice and yes, it works best when an agreement exists. Again, it is simply a contract/agreement between two individuals and can pretty much take the form chosen by the two involved, and yes, It is one thing to want marriage and another to be able to do marriage though. As for demonization, I think people are simply sick and tired of the lies and false promises attached to marriage by the "glory in marriage" crowd out there.

4. Last, I checked, I am flesh and blood, and I like to do "social" my way, not the crowds' way.

bukatyne:
1. Knowledge comes from where? Intuition comes from where? Knowledge & Intuition, Training & Personality yada yada is still pointing to Nature & Nurture. Knowledge is gotten from what you learnt (Nurture); Intuition is part of Nature.

2. This one na 15 units course mbok.

1. I grew up in Ikorodu far away from everything I know or have today. The knowledge and intuition that kept me from turning out like many of those who were around me for a period of almost 20 years did not come from that place or society. I consider myself an example at least one example that shows that Intuition is more than nature since we don't all have it.

2. Here's a simple question for you. Are you of the mind that a man and woman who share similar backgrounds, opinions, tendencies, aspects, etc., can not engage each other in a healthy "heterosexual" relationship?

Kobojunkie:
1. Does the cow still wish to be bought out or does it instead enjoy roaming free, giving its milk freely to whomever it chooses?

2. You mean the cows do not themselves equally benefit from the same well-to-do men?

I have responses to your questions, but I don't want to be drawn into a debate with you.

Ciao!

bukatyne:


@bold:

Talk of own goal

After creating a system that is 'supposed to liberate' you.

It did liberate them financially or materially speaking. For a girl who did have enough growing up, she gets swooned with lots of gifts, money and travels. The emotional side is where it gets ugly. Smart ones, like the ones I schooled with, quickly married after graduation to equally well-to-do men. Like one told me, she could not lose on both sides. Win-Win

Adexgentle005:
Exactly what I’m talking about. Thank God I’m not doing salary job, I wonder what would have become of me. All the things I’ve acquired so far like land and all that I got them when I was still a bachelor. Imagine buying land now when I’m married. It’s not just easy at all.

I bought my land and car when I got married

GreyLaw:


Bro I personally don't like recommending because it isn't easy. Personally, I trade's forex. Nobody is trading for me. I learned in 2005 as a little boy and still trading till date. It's not as easy and sweet as people say. People lose their money and savings and that's why I never encourage people to invest in it because it is a long journey. I lost my own money in those years. Today I am making a lot from it. I should also note that I am a medical professional.

I would encourage you to learn something like a skill. A good one is something like Blender for creating movies. You can create short 3d movies of 5mins and garner millions of views on YouTube if you put effort into it. You can also go get some micro degrees in data processing. There is so much money there. There are young people in Nigeria that I know making more than 2m per month from their room just doing data processing and all that for companies abroad. There are jobs but you need the skill to match what is expected.

Thanks for your time.

cococandy:
do get divorced. I encourage it

homewrecker. Show us your husband

Southwestidiot:


You dey complain? See my guy own for 3months

Blood of Zachariah!

tamdun:

Of course but once u go broke,ur wife will disrespect u and the children too will follow their mother's foot step

Haha true

Killbillz:

Whaat? 100k in two months and ur married? On average I spend 200/250k monthly if I choose not to live reckless and I'm single af. Lately it's been more bcuz of circumstances happening rn. But in all I think if two good heads come together it will be less of a burden especially if she's earning too and not relying on the man to save her and her entire family.. married men dey try abeg

seanwilliam:
God bless you . This shows that you’re a responsible man
Not all men are lucky to have women that ‘support’ financially, even if she does, you should not rely on that 100% .
Hmm. . But ehn 100k in two months as a married man is very fair o.


It’s far more easier to save as a single man.

How? When you’re single, you only spend what you want , you can ignore billings you’re not comfortable with , no one can compel u except you’re generous or a simp. infact you can decide to be extremely thrifty , and it’s more easier to adjust and adapt to any situation. You can decide to suspend morning and afternoon food, you can decide not to sub to cable, you can decide to even sleep if you have little change in your account. It’s easier to take risk and you’re open to different opportunities.

But when you’re married, it’s impossible to do all that. No matter how wicked you are , you can’t watch your own wife and kids go hungry , 90% of time , you’ll have to consider your family before taking any decisions.
Except you’re financial buoyant , you can’t just buy any cloths, shoes, for yourself. You can’t go to expensive restaurant without thinking about what to give your family the next day .


If you have money in your acct, you’ll still be scared , 70% of time you’ll be experiencing heart palpitations, you’ll not want them to lack.

Technically as a man, when you marry, you’ve given up your freedom and comfort for others.









That’s why , a man needs to be smart and ‘prayerful’ while choosing life partner , not all women worth these sacrifices.

Word of wisdom...not all women are worth that kinda sacrifices.
Especially this tiktok/oloshoism, manipulative, liars,low quality era of women all around now..

Adexgentle005:
😏What is actually sweet about marriage? What ridiculous decisions are you talking about? Ridiculous decision is that I got married or what? I bet you are not even in a relationship talk more of thinking of getting married. You don’t know shit bro.

Bro I can imagine your plight. 4 years ago I was just rushing and so eager of entering into marriage because I was almost approaching 30.

I am glad I never made that mistake yet... I would have been spending on bills bills bills instead of acquiring more skills...

In my compound whenever I wake and look at my hardworking married neighbor...I feel pity for him... "Bloodshot eyes, atyms he falls into deep thoughts", and he now's looks older then me. Even though I senior him in terms of age.

Fact one can't compare our fathers times in terms of marriage to this current clime.

Everything don cast ..