TheMaterialist:





The reason is that when you are responsible for
the welfare of other human beings, you have to acquire the basic neccessities such as food, clothing, shelter and medicine.

You also need to Send kids to school, pay house
rent, electricity bills, lawma bill, even entertainment bill(Dstv, Gotv, Netflix).

All these are simply the costs of living a secure
and comfortable life.


So yes, living well is very expensive.


Which is why a woman has to find a partner that
would take the burden of these responsibilities
and show serious commitment.


It is very important for the safety and comfort of
her and her children.


So i apologize, if the Marriage maintenance is a bit
expensive, but the Family unit has to thrive in
order for society to thrive, and you are playing
your role as a Husband Well.

Take pride in it, for your sacrifices are,
Imperative.

In a society were standard of living is very poor, how do one expects family units to thrive.

FromTopToBottom:
...when I see men who want to get married, I always tell them "your home is blessed".

Foolishly, you will see people telling the men "congratulations" .... congratulations for what ? For selling your peace of mind ? or for dividing your life into two ?

If all marriages should dissolve today, I don't think up to 20% of the men will marry again

Word!!!

tete7000:


Adulthood and everything pertaining to it is all about responsibilities. Sometimes I look back and relish my childhood days. Those days when we run the street rolling tyres up and down while leaving our parents to worry about injuries sustained in the process.

Only those who remain infants in adulthood are those who don't know it is synonymous with responsibilities, with or without marriage. Marriage is just another responsibility associated with growing up, children don't marry, adults do.

Let's be fair to some extent, you can't compare those days to these days.

It's extremely choking now...

jaxxy:
■ Dating and marriage has been turned to a poverty alleviation scheme where a man sees him self as some human messiah coming to rescue the woman from her problems and poverty including the poverty of her family. THAT IS NOT MARRIAGE or Dating either.

Dating and marriage has always been traditionally a poverty alleviation scheme where the man offers the woman the benefit of carrying out all of her financial needs and responsibilities in exchange for her submission. Why you have yet to realize these things is the reason why a lot out there are struggling as far as making a decision on your relationship paths in life.

Kobojunkiee:
Dating and marriage has always been traditionally a poverty alleviation scheme where the man offers the woman the benefit of carrying out all of her financial needs and responsibilities in exchange for her submission. Why you have yet to realize these things is the reason why a lot out there are struggling as far as making a decision on your relationship paths in life.

when u date broke girls this is the mindset u unconsciously and arrogantly bt naively adopt to the detriment of safety while providing u with a false marriage security when infact u are seen as nothing more than a paycheck not a human.

based on the personality I seek in girls I have dated mostly independent girls and maybe due to the fact I didn't grow up around hungry dependent girls and neither to I have a dependent mindset myself I don't usually get attracted to girls who are lazy and searching vigorously for sm1 to depend on financially. its a red flag for anything genuine and a turn off until I see reasons to feel otherwise.

if a girl needs needs money or financal security I would rather help her on a neutral ground or a strictly business grounds bt love will never be in that picture because that's not how love works as far as I'm concerned.

virginboy1:


In a society were standard of living is very poor, how do one expects family units to thrive.

Poor people are more likely to give birth to
more children.


In a capitalist society, the best way to become
rich is to become a Producer, instead of consuming mindlessly.

Kobojunkiee:
Dating and marriage has always been traditionally a poverty alleviation scheme where the man offers the woman the benefit of carrying out all of her financial needs and responsibilities in exchange for her submission. Why you have yet to realize these things is the reason why a lot out there are struggling as far as making a decision on your relationship paths in life.

Spoken like a true never-left-the-village person.

Probz:
Spoken like a true never-left-the-village person.

Kobojunkiee:

Get out of my sight.

Are your children not special? Didn’t you get those children through marriage? It’s not all about having kids but meeting with expectations of life. Would you be a happier man single at your age?

Children aren't special because according to the Holy Books, all human beings are born with a sin nature and that the heart of man (including babies) is evil and desperately wicked - who can know it?

jaxxy:


when u date broke girls this is the mindset u unconsciously and arrogantly bt naively adopt to the detriment of safety while providing u with a false marriage security when infact u are seen as nothing more than a paycheck not a human.

based on the personality I seek in girls I have dated mostly independent girls and maybe due to the fact I didn't grow up around hungry dependent girls and neither to I have a dependent mindset myself I don't usually get attracted to girls who are lazy and searching vigorously for sm1 to depend on financially. its a red flag for anything genuine and a turn off until I see reasons to feel otherwise.

if a girl needs needs money or financal security I would rather help her on a neutral ground or a strictly business grounds bt love will never be in that picture because that's not how love works as far as I'm concerned.

You said "dated" independent girls. The independent girls don't need marriage.....if they getting married it's either being out of religious convictions (even then they do it when they want not when you want) or because they value more permanent companionship (don't forget they hv had bfs in their earlier life)...

Could you debunk his views/opinion with relevant point.
You are free to air your view which may
be borne out of a superior reasoning.
Thank you

Probz:


Spoken like a true never-left-the-village person.

BigBashiru:


You said "dated" independent girls. The independent girls don't need marriage.....if they getting married it's either being out of religious convictions (even then they do it when they want not when you want) or because they value more permanent companionship (don't forget they hv had bfs in their earlier life)...

an independent girl doesn't have to be problematic, rude or difficult like some of u imagine in ur heads. yes some are bt same ways there are broke girls that are rude and ridiculous.

The only difference is some of the rude broke/dependent girls can be controlled with ur money which in truth is only being delusional cos anytime they have the upper hand their real selves will show up and shock u.

I rather date and deal with people being their authentic self. marriage is not Nollywood acting.

Bonnywest:


My friend becareful. Did anybody force you to marry?

Yes. Society expectations unconsciously force am to marry

But who force you to marry na? You guys sometimes think like robots. You live life on one simple formula.

If age > 30;
marry.
if married;
give birth to children.


In this formula, no considerations for state of economy, no financial plan, no retirement plan, no nada. All in the name of "We don't know what God will do."

You can marry and enjoy the sex that drove you to marry without accumulating more expenses (children)... Don't rush to give birth, but una no go hear.

But naija man, you always want the woman to leave her work and move in with you without a plan. All on "God will provide." If both of you were employed, sebi you wouldn't need to split your paycheck into six.

naaaa.... You guys like to pepper you neighbor. You've gone to rent a house with rent that's draining you financially and mentally. You've quickly pump seed into your wife, so, now she can't work. Plus, it'll be difficult to get back. Go and find one bridge, take a dive down, and enjoy the blurry sky-view from the bottom of the river.

francisobiabo:
Could you debunk his views/opinion with relevant point.
You are free to air your view which may
be borne out of a superior reasoning.
Thank you

Leave the village. See the world a little more. Then you won’t need to ask.

Probz:


Leave the village. See the world a little more. Then you won’t need to ask.

What is wrong with being in the village. I have seen the world and now crave the village life so badly.

Skyview01:


What is wrong with being in the village. I have seen the world and now crave the village life so badly.

Difference being you’ve seen the world. Nothing wrong with the village but certain colonial inherited biases won’t be unchecked until you allow yourself gain a new perspective on life. See how the version of marriage they’re idealising isn’t a reality, a practicality or even a desirability elsewhere in the world. It does have to be said.