fortyishcouga:
■ When the issues are not life threatening or DV related, it is a tough to take that step. Yes, it could guarantee a woman's rest of mind, but at what cost? For instance, leaving a marriage because you have both grown apart mentally and emotionally would be tough when you think of how it will affect the kids both now and in the future. I feel most people who throw the word divorce around with ease are not married themselves and do not get the complexities of marriage.

Dearlove2me:
Living together as Daddy and Mummy, when the both of you are not happy is bad already. What happened when the children you're staying for, grows and leave the house? Maybe got married, travel abroad or dies, is that the right time to walk away?

Kobojunkie:
1. Are children better off in an environment where daddy and mommy are literally living as strangers, enemies even, but staying together like prisoners of the marriage all for their sake? Think about the burden that you place on your kids in such a situation—aware that daddy and mommy are not happy living together.

fortyishcouga:
■ One question... are you married?

Kobojunkie:
Is this story about me and my private life or what?

fortyishcouga:
I saw a thread where a lady was sharing her marital issues and a number of people wondered why she couldn't simply walk out.

They didn't get her reluctance. But I do.

When the issues are not life threatening or DV related, it is a tough to take that step. Yes, it could guarantee a woman's rest of mind, but at what cost? For instance, leaving a marriage because you have both grown apart mentally and emotionally would be tough when you think of how it will affect the kids both now and in the future.

I feel most people who throw the word divorce around with ease are not married themselves and do not get the complexities of marriage.

fortyishcouga:
■ It is to enable me weight your comment properly. Experience has a part to play in these things.

Saintmary:



As long as the wife is the only one willing to make efforts on her marriage, she is married to herself.


Is it not better to stay alone than with an unsupportive spouse?

Scientists have established through research that marriage favors men more than women, and this is true all over the world.

Why hold on to something that will shorten your lifespan, reduce your quality of life, restrict your economic prospects, etc, the list is long.


People don't throw that word around frivolously, it's something women should start to embrace fearlessly because a lot of men are not ready to give their fair share of commitment anyway, so, majority of women are married to themselves.


Did you see the latest news flying around?


[b]A man gave his nursing wife HIV 1&2 plus hepatitis C! If she had left him, she won't be in this mess. Now a baby is involved. Divorce [/b]saves lives.

Dearlove2me:
The same people that condemned divorce will come up to ask the woman why she has not left the man earlier.
Sometimes, divorce is the right thing to do. So that the both parties can restructure their path.
They're actions and behavior expected of a married person. If you can't behalf right to your partner, is not bad for your partner to divorce you and let you go.
Even God the creator of the whole world does not impose himself on humanity. He allow us to follow him willingly.

Saintmary:



As long as the wife is the only one willing to make efforts on her marriage, she is married to herself.


Is it not better to stay alone than with an unsupportive spouse?

Scientists have established through research that marriage favors men more than women, and this is true all over the world.

Why hold on to something that will shorten your lifespan, reduce your quality of life, restrict your economic prospects, etc, the list is long.


People don't throw that word around frivolously, it's something women should start to embrace fearlessly because a lot of men are not ready to give their fair share of commitment anyway, so, majority of women are married to themselves.

Did you see the latest news flying around?

A man gave his nursing wife HIV 1&2 plus hepatitis C! If she had left him, she won't be in this mess. Now a baby is involved. Divorce saves lives.

ChybuzzDD:


Can you give more evidence to justify the bolded, please?

Saintmary:



As long as the wife is the only one willing to make efforts on her marriage, she is married to herself.


Is it not better to stay alone than with an unsupportive spouse?

Scientists have established through research that marriage favors men more than women, and this is true all over the world.

Why hold on to something that will shorten your lifespan, reduce your quality of life, restrict your economic prospects, etc, the list is long.


People don't throw that word around frivolously, it's something women should start to embrace fearlessly because a lot of men are not ready to give their fair share of commitment anyway, so, majority of women are married to themselves.


Did you see the latest news flying around?


A man gave his nursing wife HIV 1&2 plus hepatitis C! If she had left him, she won't be in this mess. Now a baby is involved. Divorce saves lives.

Klass99:
You people justify and normalize so much bullshit that women have to tolerate or endure and for what exactly? Years of marriage that are devoid of happiness, intimacy and good partnership? This attitude is even worse when it comes from fellow women. If or when I recommend divorce, it won't be because I am a bad belle person who wants to destroy homes/marriages, it will come from a place of;

1. You are worthy of good things and you deserve better.
2. If I won't tolerate this kind of BS as a person, I won't advise someone else to do so.
3. You only live once and life is truly short, so make the best of this one life while you've got it.
4. Divorce is not a horrific or unthinkable life event to be avoided, if it is the solution that makes the best sense for your situation. Enough of the endure, fast and pray for him suggestions.

These are my dealbreakers in marriage and I will never ask another woman to stay and endure any of these;

1. The day I have to treat myself for an STD and I know I didn't cheat is the day that marriage ends.
2. The day another woman shows up pregnant with your child and my investigation reveals that you are indeed the father, is the beginning of the end, because the likelihood of number one happening is still strong.
3. The day you start agitating for anal sex or try to manipulate me into indulging you, so you don't go outside for it is the day I walk.
4. The day I find out you are gay is also the end because the chances of 1 and 3 happening are real.
5. You hit me more than once in the course of our marriage, without provocation or justification.

From the stories I have read over the years on NL I wonder if you married women have any dealbreakers at all or you are willing to tolerate anything until thy kingdom comes. It makes me question your sense of self esteem too and how much you value yourselves and your lives.

fortyishcouga:
I saw a thread where a lady was sharing her marital issues and a number of people wondered why she couldn't simply walk out.

They didn't get her reluctance. But I do.

When the issues are not life threatening or DV related, it is a tough to take that step. Yes, it could guarantee a woman's rest of mind, but at what cost? For instance, leaving a marriage because you have both grown apart mentally and emotionally would be tough when you think of how it will affect the kids both now and in the future.

I feel most people who throw the word divorce around with ease are not married themselves and do not get the complexities of marriage.

Failure2019:
We Africans emulate the bad side of the west like divorce, LGBTQ etc..


Why divorce when you separate and live peacefully??


To sustain the mental health of your children , please don't try divorce instead try to separate and do your best for your children


In the cases of abusive husband's , I blame women for not paying attention to the red flags in the dating stage .

fortyishcouga:
I saw a thread where a lady was sharing her marital issues and a number of people wondered why she couldn't simply walk out.

They didn't get her reluctance. But I do.

When the issues are not life threatening or DV related, it is a tough to take that step. Yes, it could guarantee a woman's rest of mind, but at what cost? For instance, leaving a marriage because you have both grown apart mentally and emotionally would be tough when you think of how it will affect the kids both now and in the future.

I feel most people who throw the word divorce around with ease are not married themselves and do not get the complexities of marriage.

bukatyne:
Depends on their moral code.
As a Christian, divorce is only allowed if:
1. A partner commits adultery
2. If they willingly walk out of the marriage without you pushing them out (abandonment)
3. Case of abuse that can lead to loss of life (my insert)
Even remarriage under the above circumstances is debatable.

ABANGWABOI:



Una go just open mouth waaaa AAA dey yarn dust ..
Marriage favours Men than women but na una dey use I AM MARRIED brag ...
Na still una dey do Thanksgiving and Testimony for getting married...
I can go on and on....
Just close your mouth and better still use yitur Anus if you no get wetin to talk...

fortyishcouga:


One question... are you married?

Klass99:
A lot of people justify and normalize so much bullshit as things women should tolerate or endure and for what exactly? Years of marriage that are devoid of happiness, intimacy and partnership? This attitude is even worse when it comes from fellow women. If or when I recommend divorce, it won't be because I am a bad belle person looking to destroy homes/marriages, it will come from a place of;

1. You are worthy of good things and you deserve better.
2. If I can't or won't tolerate this kind of BS, I won't advise someone else to do so.
3. You only live once and life is truly short, so make the best of this one life while you've got it.
4. Divorce is not a horrific or unthinkable life event to be avoided, if it is the solution that makes the best sense for your situation. Enough of the endure, fast and pray advice.

These are my dealbreakers in marriage and I will never ask another woman to stay and endure any of it;

1. The day I have to treat myself for an STD and I know I didn't cheat is the day that marriage ends.
2. The day another woman shows up pregnant with your child and my investigation reveals that you are indeed the father, is the beginning of the end, because the likelihood of number one happening is still strong.
3. The day you start agitating for anal sex or try to manipulate me into indulging you, so you don't go outside for it is the day I walk.
4. The day I find out you are gay is also the end because the chances of 1 and 3 happening are real.
5. You hit me more than once in the course of our marriage, without provocation or justification.

Years of reading NL stories has made me wonder if majority of married women have any dealbreakers or boundaries at all, for their self care and self preservation. Or are they are willing to tolerate anything till thy kingdom comes? Remember that your black life matters too as a woman.

You made no sense.

Klass99:
The short answer would be - because we are tired of seeing women in particular suffer needlessly. Suffer head no dey taya you people?

The long answer would be - because too many women behave as if their lives and self worth depend on marriage. And as an outsider looking in, it is pathetic, heartbreaking and sometimes just plain disgusting to see the things you all are willing to put up with for the sake of marriage, the same things that a man will not hesitate to toss you out for nor tolerate from you. A few examples I can think of now are;

1. A recurring pattern of disrespectful attitude
2. Undue interference from your family in the marriage
3. Lies about your past life or a child you didn't disclose before marriage
4. Chronic and continuos cheating, cheat once and you are gone but somehow it's okay for women to repeatedly endure?

I am trying hard to recall if I have ever recommended divorce to anyone here, I am not certain if I have or not. But the truth is I often think to myself if I was the person in this situation I will end this marriage. I think the thoughts but I know to keep my thoughts private most of the times, because a lot of you have a we die here mentality when it comes to marriage and there is no reasoning with you people. What's even more amusing is when you married folks ask others if they are married for making sound suggestions, but I need to ask you guys as well, na by marriage dem dey get sense? Continued below.......

fortyishcouga:
■ You almost ruined your good argument with this 'What's even more amusing is when you married folks ask others if they are married for making sound suggestions, but I need to ask you guys as well, na by marriage dem dey get sense?'. No be fight, dear. The question was asked to understand what part experience plays in the advise received. Like some Hausa men would ask, 'shey the sickness done do you before?' in order to be more confident in the pill you are offering. It does not mean the advise given is discarded, just not as strongly received as it would have been otherwise.

Klass99:
A lot of people justify and normalize so much bullshit as things women should tolerate or endure and for what exactly? Years of marriage that are devoid of happiness, intimacy and partnership? This attitude is even worse when it comes from fellow women. If or when I recommend divorce, it won't be because I am a bad belle person looking to destroy homes/marriages, it will come from a place of;

1. You are worthy of good things and you deserve better.
2. If I can't or won't tolerate this kind of BS, I won't advise someone else to do so.
3. You only live once and life is truly short, so make the best of this one life while you've got it.
4. Divorce is not a horrific or unthinkable life event to be avoided, if it is the solution that makes the best sense for your situation. Enough of the endure, fast and pray advice.

These are my dealbreakers in marriage and I will never ask another woman to stay and endure any of it;

1. The day I have to treat myself for an STD and I know I didn't cheat is the day that marriage ends.
2. The day another woman shows up pregnant with your child and my investigation reveals that you are indeed the father, is the beginning of the end, because the likelihood of number one happening is still strong.
3. The day you start agitating for anal sex or try to manipulate me into indulging you, so you don't go outside for it is the day I walk.
4. The day I find out you are gay is also the end because the chances of 1 and 3 happening are real.
5. You hit me more than once in the course of our marriage, without provocation or justification.

Years of reading NL stories has made me wonder if majority of married women have any dealbreakers or boundaries at all, for their self care and self preservation. Or are they willing to tolerate anything till thy kingdom comes? Your black life matters too as a woman.