Chidi2022:
Die, you have a stupid and meaningless life...

ChybuzzDD:


I believe you urgently need a new life.

You have been so much damaged.

ahnie:

More like *HUMbLe rie nsi

Olamidegal:
I am one year and three month old in marriage , my husband elder sister has her shop in front of our house , somehow the land belongs to there late mother who gave it to them .
The problem is my sister inlaw is very intrusive, always trying to have a say in the marriage , one time I have resisted her interference, she reported me to their father who came to the house to warn me that the elder sister is there to be leading both me and my husband in the marriage as an experience woman who is ten years old in marriage , I find this annoying but I just had to keep quiet .her workers do come into my house to pick anything from my kitchen or the room and use it carelessly . One time I got back home and I saw one of the wrapper I use in backing my baby tied arround the waist of one of her workers and I wasn't so cool with it , I told her to wash it and return it for me that I do not joke with that wrapper , she refuses , the next day I saw the wrapper on the floor very dirty and I was very angry I told her to go wash it and return it , she told me she can't cos she's not the only one that uses it and that it's my sister in law that brought it out, I told the girl that she should never enter my house to pick anything again when my sister in law arrived she started blackmailing me with so u cannot leave ordinary wrapper , if you say she shouldn't enter the house that means u pursued me and all..I had to stand my ground it's not just about the wrapper anymore , it's the fact that the girl was rude to me I am 10 years older than this girl and that I insist that she shouldn't enter my house again, she said stuffs like i am rude to her as well so I shouldn't bother about the girl being rude and left . Now she started acting up , but I make sure I greet her everyday and move on , I no longer sit with her or discuss with her sometimes she doesn't answer and sometimes she answer somehow , this girl of hers never greeted me again after that day .
Now the challenge is she had gone to report me to the father as usual , the father calls my husband and I don't know what they discuss but he has stopped talking to me in the house , he's always supporting his family anyway and his father has stopped calling me as well all of the calls themselves from time to time discussing me most times my husband run outside to answer there calls ..was I wrong in my approach, what could I have done better it looks like I am living among people that hate me they all stay close

Klass99:


All of them are a problem not just the husband alone. What sort of father in-law behaves like this? That's a serious biitch move for a man and as for the elder sister.....I am speechless.

Olamidegal:
seriously this people has access to the house , I don't see any reason why I should be territorial , my sister in law goes to my shoe rack wear my best shoes casually , she takes my best jewellery and I just let it slide ,one thing I realise is that my sister in law discuss all sort of things in front of her workers who are 10 years and 12 years younger than me and those girls started reacting based on that, I left work when I got married because of distance and I start applying for job that will be of close proximity to my husband house but I got pregnant immediately after marriage which marred my search for job so I started learning fashion designing anyway , my baby is 4 month now and I have started applying for job again, my sister in law is always going on and on about how I couldn't get something doing making reference to hiw hardworking she was when she was pregnant and all, this is a woman that shamed me that I gave birth through cs because i am lazy . Even while learning my fashion designing and as I was pregnant I cook for my husband 2 times daily atleast, do his laundry , iron hus clothes and clean the house everyday . She and my husband still sit to say stuffs like I am too relaxed because he is making me too comfortable

Olamidegal:
I am one year and three month old in marriage , my husband elder sister has her shop in front of our house , somehow the land belongs to there late mother who gave it to them .
The problem is my sister inlaw is very intrusive, always trying to have a say in the marriage , one time I have resisted her interference, she reported me to their father who came to the house to warn me that the elder sister is there to be leading both me and my husband in the marriage as an experience woman who is ten years old in marriage , I find this annoying but I just had to keep quiet .her workers do come into my house to pick anything from my kitchen or the room and use it carelessly . One time I got back home and I saw one of the wrapper I use in backing my baby tied arround the waist of one of her workers and I wasn't so cool with it , I told her to wash it and return it for me that I do not joke with that wrapper , she refuses , the next day I saw the wrapper on the floor very dirty and I was very angry I told her to go wash it and return it , she told me she can't cos she's not the only one that uses it and that it's my sister in law that brought it out, I told the girl that she should never enter my house to pick anything again when my sister in law arrived she started blackmailing me with so u cannot leave ordinary wrapper , if you say she shouldn't enter the house that means u pursued me and all..I had to stand my ground it's not just about the wrapper anymore , it's the fact that the girl was rude to me I am 10 years older than this girl and that I insist that she shouldn't enter my house again, she said stuffs like i am rude to her as well so I shouldn't bother about the girl being rude and left . Now she started acting up , but I make sure I greet her everyday and move on , I no longer sit with her or discuss with her sometimes she doesn't answer and sometimes she answer somehow , this girl of hers never greeted me again after that day .
Now the challenge is she had gone to report me to the father as usual , the father calls my husband and I don't know what they discuss but he has stopped talking to me in the house , he's always supporting his family anyway and his father has stopped calling me as well all of the calls themselves from time to time discussing me most times my husband run outside to answer there calls ..was I wrong in my approach, what could I have done better it looks like I am living among people that hate me they all stay close

Olamidegal:
seriously this people has access to the house , I don't see any reason why I should be territorial , my sister in law goes to my shoe rack wear my best shoes casually , she takes my best jewellery and I just let it slide ,one thing I realise is that my sister in law discuss all sort of things in front of her workers who are 10 years and 12 years younger than me and those girls started reacting based on that, I left work when I got married because of distance and I start applying for job that will be of close proximity to my husband house but I got pregnant immediately after marriage which marred my search for job so I started learning fashion designing anyway , my baby is 4 month now and I have started applying for job again, my sister in law is always going on and on about how I couldn't get something doing making reference to hiw hardworking she was when she was pregnant and all, this is a woman that shamed me that I gave birth through cs because i am lazy . Even while learning my fashion designing and as I was pregnant I cook for my husband 2 times daily atleast, do his laundry , iron hus clothes and clean the house everyday . She and my husband still sit to say stuffs like I am too relaxed because he is making me too comfortable

Olamidegal:
I am one year and three month old in marriage , my husband elder sister has her shop in front of our house , somehow the land belongs to there late mother who gave it to them .
The problem is my sister inlaw is very intrusive, always trying to have a say in the marriage , one time I have resisted her interference, she reported me to their father who came to the house to warn me that the elder sister is there to be leading both me and my husband in the marriage as an experience woman who is ten years old in marriage , I find this annoying but I just had to keep quiet .her workers do come into my house to pick anything from my kitchen or the room and use it carelessly . One time I got back home and I saw one of the wrapper I use in backing my baby tied arround the waist of one of her workers and I wasn't so cool with it , I told her to wash it and return it for me that I do not joke with that wrapper , she refuses , the next day I saw the wrapper on the floor very dirty and I was very angry I told her to go wash it and return it , she told me she can't cos she's not the only one that uses it and that it's my sister in law that brought it out, I told the girl that she should never enter my house to pick anything again when my sister in law arrived she started blackmailing me with so u cannot leave ordinary wrapper , if you say she shouldn't enter the house that means u pursued me and all..I had to stand my ground it's not just about the wrapper anymore , it's the fact that the girl was rude to me I am 10 years older than this girl and that I insist that she shouldn't enter my house again, she said stuffs like i am rude to her as well so I shouldn't bother about the girl being rude and left . Now she started acting up , but I make sure I greet her everyday and move on , I no longer sit with her or discuss with her sometimes she doesn't answer and sometimes she answer somehow , this girl of hers never greeted me again after that day .
Now the challenge is she had gone to report me to the father as usual , the father calls my husband and I don't know what they discuss but he has stopped talking to me in the house , he's always supporting his family anyway and his father has stopped calling me as well all of the calls themselves from time to time discussing me most times my husband run outside to answer there calls ..was I wrong in my approach, what could I have done better it looks like I am living among people that hate me they all stay close

Klass99:
@ Fortyishcouga, please read the original post and the original poster's subsequent posts then tell me if divorce will not be a good recommendation in her case, now that water never pass garri too much and she only has one child to deal with.

I called your attention to this because of your thread where you asked why people are quick to recommend divorce. Does the OP's situation make tolerable sense? As in, is this the sort of thing anyone should tolerate or endure beyond 180 days? But she has done so for 1 year plus, how much longer will she have to do it to keep her marriage?

This is just one year and three months of marriage o. If we encourage her to endure, fast and pray as usual, five years may go by without her spouse/in laws changing, she may also have 3 or 4 kids by then. Leaving an intolerable/disrespectful situation may also become harder to do.

We shouldn't glorify marriage, cherish or value staying married above our peace of mind and overall well being abeg. I can't even wrap my head around what I read in the post below.

ahnie:

When you get too familiar with in-laws,and throw yaself at them,this is what you get.
It's best to set boundaries at the beginning to avoid ishi's like this.

@sunbestie darl...I ve bn ban on food section,seems the spambot hates us conversing in our native lingua.

Ban ends on 5th this month.

olamilekan9:
chai🥶 omo,sis i can smell that you re going through alot,God forbide but imagine if your husband enemy is no more,omo eith what you have tabled about your in-laws it will be a lose lose for you oo,one solution i think i can usher out is relocating,can you and your husband relocate to another area you know a bit far from that inlaw abi wetin u feel

Kobojunkie:
I doubt the husband would be willing to relocate. OP has nothing doing for herself at this time, making it an even harder sell. It is indeed a hard situation.

Olamidegal:
my husband does not want my family to interfere in our marriage at all, he does not like any member of my family because when I was pregnant, there was a time we had issue and my mother called him to take things easy with me and all he got really angry and was rude to my mom he said my mom was supposed to instruct me to come beg him not preach to him to thread softly because whenever we have little issue he takes it to his family and his sister and dad are there the next day compelling me to kneel and Beg him. He told me that day that my family does not matter in the marriage that its only his family that matters cause they are husbands family. I try not to involve my family in any issue after that cos i really hate the way he spoke to my mom

olamilekan9:
chai🥶 omo i feel for her, new marriage o dem no even allow the woman rest,some families ehn😔

NaBanga:
If there are no children involved and you are able to support yourself, leave this marriage. I feel you will regret it, if you don't. People like your husband and his family see a wife as a product or accessory. They don't view you as human or equal to them.

Gloriagee:
O ya mi lenu o. My own is when did his bad behaviour start? Cos after cooking, ironing etc, they say she's too comfortable. Immediately after our court wedding all this started , different alien ideas just begin to fly in , my husband became a completely different person, like a Tyrant ! At first I was obeying all their rules even when it's hurt, 6 month down I became afraid of my own husband such that I stutter if I want to speak with him because I'm speaking in fear to the point that I started distancing myself physically from him , I just don't want to be anywhere arround him even if we are not having issue I just stylishly give him space, emotionally I became distant yet I never turned him down whenever he comes close because I just want to be a good wife , but situation keeps getting worse he keeps demanding for me to bend more and more so much that I can't even recognise myself anymore , u can definitely tell I am not happy and I am always absent minded

olamilekan9:
chai🥶 omo,sis i can smell that you re going through alot,God forbide but imagine if your husband enemy is no more,omo eith what you have tabled about your in-laws it will be a lose lose for you oo,one solution i think i can usher out is relocating,can you and your husband relocate to another area you know a bit far from that inlaw abi wetin u feel

Fiscus105:
I haven't read half of ur post when I stopped reading, having realised that indeed u need marital tutorials, I pray ur marriage won't scatter before 5 years of ur marriage, I noticed of high ego in you and a wife who will not accommodate in-laws for whatever reason,and above all anger issues.

AN HUMBLE WIFE WOULD HAVE PICKED UP HER WRAPPER AND WASHED IT HERSELF AND LET THE SLEEPING DOG LIES.

I biliv that 70% of marital issues that are coming up in ur marriage are caused by you, because of ur domineering tendency.

if ur story is true, I will tell ur husband that he has succeeded wifed" his boss.


ANYBODY CAN SAY WHATEVER FROM NOW TILL TOMORROW, IF YOU ARE A WIFE AND YOU FIND IT HARD TO ACCOMMODATE YOUR IN LAWS , YOU WONT HAVE PEACE.

REASONS WHY SINGLE MOTHERS LITTER EVERYWHERE.

Klass99:
@ Fortyishcouga, please read the original post and the original poster's subsequent posts then tell me if divorce will not be a good recommendation in her case, now that water never pass garri too much and she only has one child to deal with.

I called your attention to this because of your thread where you asked why people are quick to recommend divorce. Does the OP's situation make tolerable sense? As in, is this the sort of thing anyone should tolerate or endure beyond 180 days? But she has done so for 1 year plus, how much longer will she have to do it to keep her marriage?

This is just one year and three months of marriage o. If we encourage her to endure, fast and pray as usual, five years may go by without her spouse/in laws changing, she may also have 3 or 4 kids by then. Leaving an intolerable/disrespectful situation may also become harder to do.

We shouldn't glorify marriage, cherish or value staying married above our peace of mind and overall well being abeg. Try to understand my views on your thread, then try and tie it to this OP's situation.......one of the things I said was men not tolerating interference from a woman's family, is that not what her husband is doing here? I can't even wrap my head around what I read in the post below. It will be evil for anyone to justify and normalize this.

Olamidegal:
you are very correct they saw me as a product , I cannot begin to talk about how much pain they cause me when I was pregnant, I cried through out my pregnancy , it got to a stage my family mom and sis started crying on my behalf as well, I just hope I get a job soon so that I can face my life and see where this leads. This marriage is exhausting and I never saw all this coming during courtship because its a distance relationship .

Olamidegal:
I am one year and three month old in marriage , my husband elder sister has her shop in front of our house , somehow the land belongs to there late mother who gave it to them .
The problem is my sister inlaw is very intrusive, always trying to have a say in the marriage , one time I have resisted her interference, she reported me to their father who came to the house to warn me that the elder sister is there to be leading both me and my husband in the marriage as an experience woman who is ten years old in marriage , I find this annoying but I just had to keep quiet .her workers do come into my house to pick anything from my kitchen or the room and use it carelessly . One time I got back home and I saw one of the wrapper I use in backing my baby tied arround the waist of one of her workers and I wasn't so cool with it , I told her to wash it and return it for me that I do not joke with that wrapper , she refuses , the next day I saw the wrapper on the floor very dirty and I was very angry I told her to go wash it and return it , she told me she can't cos she's not the only one that uses it and that it's my sister in law that brought it out, I told the girl that she should never enter my house to pick anything again when my sister in law arrived she started blackmailing me with so u cannot leave ordinary wrapper , if you say she shouldn't enter the house that means u pursued me and all..I had to stand my ground it's not just about the wrapper anymore , it's the fact that the girl was rude to me I am 10 years older than this girl and that I insist that she shouldn't enter my house again, she said stuffs like i am rude to her as well so I shouldn't bother about the girl being rude and left . Now she started acting up , but I make sure I greet her everyday and move on , I no longer sit with her or discuss with her sometimes she doesn't answer and sometimes she answer somehow , this girl of hers never greeted me again after that day .
Now the challenge is she had gone to report me to the father as usual , the father calls my husband and I don't know what they discuss but he has stopped talking to me in the house , he's always supporting his family anyway and his father has stopped calling me as well all of the calls themselves from time to time discussing me most times my husband run outside to answer there calls ..was I wrong in my approach, what could I have done better it looks like I am living among people that hate me they all stay close