Olamidegal:
my husband does not want my family to interfere in our marriage at all, he does not like any member of my family because when I was pregnant, there was a time we had issue and my mother called him to take things easy with me and all he got really angry and was rude to my mom he said my mom was supposed to instruct me to come beg him not preach to him to thread softly because whenever we have little issue he takes it to his family and his sister and dad are there the next day compelling me to kneel and Beg him. He told me that day that my family does not matter in the marriage that its only his family that matters cause they are husbands family. I try not to involve my family in any issue after that cos i really hate the way he spoke to my mom

Any man that disrespects your own mother should never climb you again.


Unless he apologizes.


You have no business in that marriage where they are refusing you access to your own family, that's isolation.



If you don't do something about it, by the time they are done with you, you will become a bitter woman. Or worse, he will start beating you and no one will help you.


1. Let your family know all that is going on

2. Ignore their malice, both husband and his family.

3. Start locking up your things, a small padlock costs #250, lock the kitchen, cupboards, wardrobes, travel boxes, everything, and carry face.


Try and focus on your kids, when you're angry, go out to cool off.



You have done no wrong as far as I can see, your in laws are bad people.

God forbid I live with a man in his family house. Everything lies in your husband, if he can't defend you, they will always throw rubbish at you.

Fiscus105:
I haven't read half of ur post when I stopped reading, having realised that indeed u need marital tutorial, I pray ur marriage won't scatter before 5 years of ur marriage, I noticed of high ego in you and a wife who will not accommodate in laws for whatever reason and above all anger issues.

AN HUMBLE WIFE WOULD HAVE PICKED UP HER WRAPPER AND WASHED IT HERSELF AND LET THE SLEEPING DOG LIES.

I biliv that 70% of marital issues that are coming up in ur marriage are caused by you, because of ur domineering tendency.

if ur story is true, I will tell ur husband that he has succeeded wifed" his boss.

Bros, as far as this particular case is concerned, you didn't write on behalf of the responsible men here, including the misogynous apha ones

You are on you own here.

That husband needs to be man enough and be incharge of his family.

Olamidegal:
I am one year and three month old in marriage , my husband elder sister has her shop in front of our house , somehow the land belongs to there late mother who gave it to them .
The problem is my sister inlaw is very intrusive, always trying to have a say in the marriage , one time I have resisted her interference, she reported me to their father who came to the house to warn me that the elder sister is there to be leading both me and my husband in the marriage as an experience woman who is ten years old in marriage , I find this annoying but I just had to keep quiet .her workers do come into my house to pick anything from my kitchen or the room and use it carelessly . One time I got back home and I saw one of the wrapper I use in backing my baby tied arround the waist of one of her workers and I wasn't so cool with it , I told her to wash it and return it for me that I do not joke with that wrapper , she refuses , the next day I saw the wrapper on the floor very dirty and I was very angry I told her to go wash it and return it , she told me she can't cos she's not the only one that uses it and that it's my sister in law that brought it out, I told the girl that she should never enter my house to pick anything again when my sister in law arrived she started blackmailing me with so u cannot leave ordinary wrapper , if you say she shouldn't enter the house that means u pursued me and all..I had to stand my ground it's not just about the wrapper anymore , it's the fact that the girl was rude to me I am 10 years older than this girl and that I insist that she shouldn't enter my house again, she said stuffs like i am rude to her as well so I shouldn't bother about the girl being rude and left . Now she started acting up , but I make sure I greet her everyday and move on , I no longer sit with her or discuss with her sometimes she doesn't answer and sometimes she answer somehow , this girl of hers never greeted me again after that day .
Now the challenge is she had gone to report me to the father as usual , the father calls my husband and I don't know what they discuss but he has stopped talking to me in the house , he's always supporting his family anyway and his father has stopped calling me as well all of the calls themselves from time to time discussing me most times my husband run outside to answer there calls ..was I wrong in my approach, what could I have done better it looks like I am living among people that hate me they all stay close

sorry to say u got married to a baby and again go and look for work too, God bless you

ChybuzzDD:


Bros, as far as this particular case is concerned, you didn't write on behalf of the responsible men here, including the misogynous apha ones

You are on you own here.

That husband needs to be man enough and be incharge of his family.

A foolish man hears from one side and starts acting gragra, if u like belong to missogyny, gay or whatever. I'm less concerned.

Then, elders usually say ..... "husband house is the place where women learn" I doubt if you have proper upbringing for you to hear those words of elders!

Thank God u read where she said, her husband is now surporting sister and family.

When husband finally done with her and thrown her house, I biliv she would come to ur own house, thank God u re finding it difficult to have serious relationship with girls, .....she will come to your house to dominate you and ur family.

Olamidegal:
he's supporting his family by keeping malice with me in the house, he always supports his family , his sister can never do any wrong in his eyes. I live like an outsider in this marriage because my husband believes his father and sister are his family and they must be satisfied if I want ti see his good side

He just keeping malice with you because you respect his family ?

Every uncoth words you said about him and his family, did u remember to say it loudly here? Dnt u know he stay close to his people, before you agreed to be his wife?

Sorry for those that are supporting your one sided story and more pity for you, because only you will face bigger consequences if you don't learn fast how to humble enough to leave peaceful with husband's family.

MARRIAGE IS SWEET!

Fiscus105:
I haven't read half of ur post when I stopped reading, having realised that indeed u need marital tutorial, I pray ur marriage won't scatter before 5 years of ur marriage, I noticed of high ego in you and a wife who will not accommodate in laws for whatever reason and above all anger issues.

AN HUMBLE WIFE WOULD HAVE PICKED UP HER WRAPPER AND WASHED IT HERSELF AND LET THE SLEEPING DOG LIES.

I biliv that 70% of marital issues that are coming up in ur marriage are caused by you, because of ur domineering tendency.

if ur story is true, I will tell ur husband that he has succeeded wifed" his boss.

Make I no curse you oh, nairaland is just so full of shit like seriously why are some people brains like this, she should have been humble as a good wife right?in her matrimonial home right a girl of how old,you don't think her sis in law has been saying things about her to those girls to warrant these... if you bring yourself low, people will always take you for granted like seriously if she's her husband's boss do you think his sister would be doing business in the house,a man that can stop talking to his own wife because of wrapper doesn't even value her

I wonder what she must have gone through when pregnant sef,I hope you are doing family planning oh, because you need it don't allow this comments get to you try to get something doing and also ignore them if e too much leave abeg your mental health is important.
Some sis in laws are like that if she's like this what of her husband and kids attitude.

Fiscus105:
I haven't read half of ur post when I stopped reading, having realised that indeed u need marital tutorial, I pray ur marriage won't scatter before 5 years of ur marriage, I noticed of high ego in you and a wife who will not accommodate in laws for whatever reason and above all anger issues.

AN HUMBLE WIFE WOULD HAVE PICKED UP HER WRAPPER AND WASHED IT HERSELF AND LET THE SLEEPING DOG LIES.

I biliv that 70% of marital issues that are coming up in ur marriage are caused by you, because of ur domineering tendency.

if ur story is true, I will tell ur husband that he has succeeded wifed" his boss.

You typed nonsense.. No wonder earlier you said you stopped reading on the way.

Fiscus105:




He just keeping malice with you?

Every uncoth words you said about him and his family, did u remember to say it loudly here? Dnt u know he stay close to his people, before you agreed to be his wife?

Sorry for those who are supporting for ur one sided story and more pity for you, because only you will face bigger consequences[b] if you don't learn fast how to humble enough to leave peaceful with husband's family[/b].

Let us not misinterpret humiliation for humility as it seems many struggle with differentiating them.

The fundamental question is why should the father-in-law and sister-in-law be actively "present' in the OP's marriage?

Is privacy and sense of boundary difficult concepts for them to understand?

And by the way, didn't the husband know that the OP stayed close to her people, before he agreed to be her husband?

Unless the OP is so desperate to retain the Mrs title, she is better off ending the marriage and work out co-parenting with the child's father while she rebuild her sense of self.

This is one of the reasons you should check very well the kind of man or woman you want to marry. Your husband is the type that allows third parties to come into his matters because he doesn't have a mind of his. He doesn't understands what a nuclear family is. As long as you respect him and do your duties as a good wife, then you should be his first priority, because that is what the marriage contract is all about. Unfortunately he doesn't know this, so you are in for a long thing.

Mindlog:


If the OP happens to be Caucasian, will you offer this same advice?

This is Africa , Nigeria specifically. I’ll advice her based on the reality of my environment. A Caucasian married to a Nigeria here will get same advice from me.

Jozilinn:
Make I no curse you oh, nairaland is just so full of shit like seriously why are some people brains like this, she should have been humble as a good wife right?in her matrimonial home right a girl of how old,you don't think her sis in law has been saying things about her to those girls to warrant these... if you bring yourself low, people will always take you for granted like seriously if she's her husband's boss do you think his sister would be doing business in the house,a man that can stop talking to his own wife because of wrapper doesn't even value her

I wonder what she must have gone through when pregnant sef,I hope you are doing family planning oh, because you need it don't allow this comments get to you try to get something doing and also ignore them if e too much leave abeg your mental health is important.
Some sis in laws are like that if she's like this what of her husband and kids attitude.

I was just shaking my head reading the trash he said.
The wife caused everything ,all I see is....too much familiarity aswear.

You see my in-laws,everybody dey kain their lane because I nor dey take nonsense,my husband too on his part,he warned them sternly from the beginning so everybody dey kain dia lanes

seanwilliam:
This is Africa , Nigeria specifically. I’ll advice her based on the reality of my environment. A Caucasian married to a Nigeria here will get same advice from me.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is what happens when you marry a boy

ahnie:

I was just shaking my head reading the trash he said.
The wife caused everything ,all I see is....too much familiarity aswear.

You see my in-laws,everybody dey kain their lane because I nor dey take nonsense,my husband too on his part,he warned them sternly from the beginning so everybody dey kain dia lanes

I swear. Why will my SIL wear my best shoe 'casually'? On to what na?? What I won't take from my siblings, I won't take from my husband's siblings. It is as simple as that. Establish boundaries from the get go with politeness and firmness to avoid rubbish

Fiscus105:
I haven't read half of ur post when I stopped reading, having realised that indeed u need marital tutorial, I pray ur marriage won't scatter before 5 years of ur marriage, I noticed of high ego in you and a wife who will not accommodate in laws for whatever reason and above all anger issues.

AN HUMBLE WIFE WOULD HAVE PICKED UP HER WRAPPER AND WASHED IT HERSELF AND LET THE SLEEPING DOG LIES.

I biliv that 70% of marital issues that are coming up in ur marriage are caused by you, because of ur domineering tendency.

if ur story is true, I will tell ur husband that he has succeeded wifed" his boss.

Some people here have sawdust in their brains, is the writer's post hard to comprehend?, what if she's your sister or daughter, will you open your gutter mouth and be spewing trash like this

Octopusssy:

I swear. Why will my SIL wear my best shoe 'casually'? On to what na?? What I won't take from my siblings, I won't take from my husband's siblings. It is as simple as that. Establish boundaries from the get go with politeness and firmness to avoid rubbish

Asin eeh,nwannem just negodu ihe over. Familiarity dey cause.

In my next life,I would do everything humanly possible never to get married to a Nigerian man.

Yoruba family i know

Readers are yuu surprised that most families that has discords,it is orchestrated by a woman....
Her husband's elder sister na em no gree her drink water drop cup...

Olamidegal:
I am one year and three month old in marriage , my husband elder sister has her shop in front of our house , somehow the land belongs to there late mother who gave it to them .
The problem is my sister inlaw is very intrusive, always trying to have a say in the marriage , one time I have resisted her interference, she reported me to their father who came to the house to warn me that the elder sister is there to be leading both me and my husband in the marriage as an experience woman who is ten years old in marriage , I find this annoying but I just had to keep quiet .her workers do come into my house to pick anything from my kitchen or the room and use it carelessly . One time I got back home and I saw one of the wrapper I use in backing my baby tied arround the waist of one of her workers and I wasn't so cool with it , I told her to wash it and return it for me that I do not joke with that wrapper , she refuses , the next day I saw the wrapper on the floor very dirty and I was very angry I told her to go wash it and return it , she told me she can't cos she's not the only one that uses it and that it's my sister in law that brought it out, I told the girl that she should never enter my house to pick anything again when my sister in law arrived she started blackmailing me with so u cannot leave ordinary wrapper , if you say she shouldn't enter the house that means u pursued me and all..I had to stand my ground it's not just about the wrapper anymore , it's the fact that the girl was rude to me I am 10 years older than this girl and that I insist that she shouldn't enter my house again, she said stuffs like i am rude to her as well so I shouldn't bother about the girl being rude and left . Now she started acting up , but I make sure I greet her everyday and move on , I no longer sit with her or discuss with her sometimes she doesn't answer and sometimes she answer somehow , this girl of hers never greeted me again after that day .
Now the challenge is she had gone to report me to the father as usual , the father calls my husband and I don't know what they discuss but he has stopped talking to me in the house , he's always supporting his family anyway and his father has stopped calling me as well all of the calls themselves from time to time discussing me most times my husband run outside to answer there calls ..was I wrong in my approach, what could I have done better it looks like I am living among people that hate me they all stay close

My dear you did nothing wrong.
I'm a man and i hate sisi men who are being control by their parents or siblings.
Stand your ground and defend your marriage.

I HATE NONSENSE.

Olamidegal:
my husband does not want my family to interfere in our marriage at all, he does not like any member of my family because when I was pregnant, there was a time we had issue and my mother called him to take things easy with me and all he got really angry and was rude to my mom he said my mom was supposed to instruct me to come beg him not preach to him to thread softly because whenever we have little issue he takes it to his family and his sister and dad are there the next day compelling me to kneel and Beg him. He told me that day that my family does not matter in the marriage that its only his family that matters cause they are husbands family. I try not to involve my family in any issue after that cos i really hate the way he spoke to my mom

I think your husband’s father has so much influence on your husband, maybe that was how he treated his wife(husband’s mother) when she was alive. How was your husband like when you were dating? Didn’t you notice anything?

Fiscus105:
I haven't read half of ur post when I stopped reading, having realised that indeed u need marital tutorial, I pray ur marriage won't scatter before 5 years of ur marriage, I noticed of high ego in you and a wife who will not accommodate in laws for whatever reason and above all anger issues.

AN HUMBLE WIFE WOULD HAVE PICKED UP HER WRAPPER AND WASHED IT HERSELF AND LET THE SLEEPING DOG LIES.

I biliv that 70% of marital issues that are coming up in ur marriage are caused by you, because of ur domineering tendency.

if ur story is true, I will tell ur husband that he has succeeded wifed" his boss.

Either you are daft or comprehension failed you, cos what type of reasoning is this?

Fiscus105:
I haven't read half of ur post when I stopped reading, having realised that indeed u need marital tutorial, I pray ur marriage won't scatter before 5 years of ur marriage, I noticed of high ego in you and a wife who will not accommodate in laws for whatever reason and above all anger issues.

AN HUMBLE WIFE WOULD HAVE PICKED UP HER WRAPPER AND WASHED IT HERSELF AND LET THE SLEEPING DOG LIES.

I biliv that 70% of marital issues that are coming up in ur marriage are caused by you, because of ur domineering tendency.

if ur story is true, I will tell ur husband that he has succeeded wifed" his boss.

Maybe you read her story upside down…. Quit hating on the female gender and be honest just for once in your life…..

Chidi2022:
Are you naturally like this or it just happened today? Nna eehn, i pity people who seeks advice from you, walai, they are doomed.. Now i truly agrre that not all elders are sensible...
So your definition of a HUMBLE WIFE is she going to pick up and wash a wrapper that a silly sister in law who doesn't know the meaning of boundary went into her room and pick , used then dirty it? If she really wanted a wrapper, why did she not pick one from her home, then use it as she wishes? I pity your wife..
I, AS A FEMALE, WILL NEVER IN THIS LIFE OR NEXT ALLOW ANY OF MY SISTER NOR FAMILY MEMBER, TREAT ANY OF MY BROTHER'S WIFE THIS WAY...

As in eh…. I wonder how that guy’s reasoning is like that… it’s not just a wrapper, it’s the wrapper she’s using to back her baby, any lady would be mad after seeing the wrapper dirty… she’s even patient sef I thought I am patient but the OP is more patient than I am, I will change it for all of them ni….

Fiscus105:




A foolish man hears from one side and starts acting gragra, if u like belong to missogyny, gay or whatever. I'm less concerned.

Then, elders usually say ..... "husband house is the place where women learn" I doubt if you have proper upbringing for you to hear those words of elders!

Thank God u read where she said, her husband is now surporting sister and family.

When husband finally done with her and thrown her house, I biliv she would come to ur own house, thank God u re finding it difficult to have serious relationship with girls, .....she will come to your house to dominate you and ur family.

Okay you are daft, when your daughter faces same fate, support her husband and family, you support op's husband and family, yet preaching about one side, smelling yeye

If women learn in husband's house, what does men learn in his house, to be foolish abi? Because it is very obvious your siblings and parents control and manage your home for you, Op will come to your own house, yeye.

JeffreyJunior:
Based on your story, everyone except you is wrong but this is just your side of the story, there will definitely be others.

My advice to every married woman is this; see yourself as member of the family you are married to and make sure they know you see them as such.

If they know you see them as family and not as inlaws, they too will start seeing you as family member and not just as daughter in law or sister in law.

When this happens, most of problems and misunderstandings associated with inlaws will be put to rest.

Many wives today see themselves as strangers in their husbands' homes thereby giving room for unnecessary boundaries.

It is too much familiarity that would bring Radarada…. There better be boundaries cause it’s not everything one can just take…. For example you wash your toilet everyday and you flush and dry your toilet each time you use then someone from your wife’s family now made use of your toilet and didn’t flush worse of he/she now poured water on the floor shey you won’t react or you’d just let it slide cause you don’t want to cause ‘unnecessary boundaries’

Lamanii22:



As in eh…. I wonder how that guy’s reasoning is like that… it’s not just a wrapper, it’s the wrapper she’s using to back her baby, any lady would be mad after seeing the wrapper dirty… she’s even patient sef I thought I am patient but the OP is more patient than I am, I will change it for all of them ni….

You dey mind the foolish elder.... Bad men always get good wives, while Good men get bad wives...

ahnie:

I was just shaking my head reading the trash he said.
The wife caused everything ,all I see is....too much familiarity aswear.

You see my in-laws,everybody dey kain their lane because I nor dey take nonsense,my husband too on his part,he warned them sternly from the beginning so everybody dey kain dia lanes

May God help marriages check out Mr aloys on Facebook this is exactly what is happening in that drama.

Olamidegal:
my husband does not want my family to interfere in our marriage at all, he does not like any member of my family because when I was pregnant, there was a time we had issue and my mother called him to take things easy with me and all he got really angry and was rude to my mom he said my mom was supposed to instruct me to come beg him not preach to him to thread softly because whenever we have little issue he takes it to his family and his sister and dad are there the next day compelling me to kneel and Beg him. He told me that day that my family does not matter in the marriage that its only his family that matters cause they are husbands family. I try not to involve my family in any issue after that cos i really hate the way he spoke to my mom

You are in on a Long Ride. All I have to say is Sorry, you saw the signs .

Octopusssy:
This is what happens when you marry a boy

she didn't Marry a boy, she married a wussy. Boys can behave like men or better than men sometimes, her husband is not a boy, neither is he a man. I Sha feel sorry for her.