it's hard for me to cal up one now, cos i come here anytime i'm bored or sleepy at work and i always end up rollin on the floor, ok, for now I'd 1st pick BOLARGE'S postin, i seriously wish I was der to capture dat slap, dat person uncle go don turn PURPLE WITH EMBARRASSMENT, again wat has SPRING BANK'S ad got to do with us today? haba, dat person who posted dat shd also be given an award for FUNNY GAN GAN of the moment

wow!
moondust's post got it,chei, hope i don't get cramps from laffing so much.u didnt warn us enough self,please peeps try and get an extra strong velcro vest before reading ooo!, know wot i mean!hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha

kai moondust ma belle don burst o

funniest thread?

the whole postings from beginning to end about "making hair products 'under sea'".

Everyone in my office thought i was going crazy as i dey laf.

;d ;d ;d :d ;d

check this one out by nawa on nnunnu ebe the mysterious tree

« #33 on: Today at 05:39:12 PM »

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a telephone conversation between me and my friend (swaya)

swaya: hello bros

na wa: hello my gee, how far?

swaya: nothing de sheele. how about you and your girl

na wa: i'm kicking strong and my girl is doing just fine

swaya: bros, let me use this opportunity to thank you again for the super zoom camera phone you bought for me last month. . .

na wa: no long thing. plz i need you to do me a favour.

swaya: what favour? you know i can do anything for you.

na wa: about that mysterious tree in your village . . .

swaya: oh! you mean, the Nnunu Ebe tree?

na wa: ya.

swaya: what about it?

na wa: i want you to take a picture of it, and send to me via mms or e-mail.

swaya: common man, tell me you are kidding. you know it's dangerous even to think about that.

na wa: i know, and i'm not trying to get you killed either. but somebody just told me we can make millions of naira from it

swaya: you mean millions of naira for just a picture of this tree?

na wa: ya

swaya: i can risk my life for that you know.

na wa: here you go. . .

swaya: let me get my super zoom camera phone and set off right away!

na wa: plz be careful

swaya: no shaking. . .na wa, one of these trees is not far from my backyard, so let me go now

na wa: no wahala, just be careful and plz do not cut our conversation so i can listen to the whole process.

swaya: i wont. . .i'm off now

10 minus later. . .

na wa: hello. . .hellooooooo, can you hear me swaya? hello. . . hello. . .

swaya: sorry na wa, i ca kkknnt hheeeer u. . .the nettwork is very bad or somethhhiiing. . hello, are you there. . .hello


na wa: what's that noise. . .wh a t, hello. . .are y o u ok?

swaya: i can't hear you properly, but i'm close to the tree. . .and there are lot of noise. . .babies crying. . .allover . , but i can't see anybody or any sign of living thing aro o un d. . .

na wa: you are breaking up!!!

swaya: ok na wa, i think is not save to go beyond this point, let me activate my camera and snap from this distance. .


GBOAAAAAAH (LOUD EXPLOSION)

na wa: hello . . . hello . . .hello. . . can you hear me . . .hello . . .hello . . .hello. . .plz talk to me. . .helooooooo


that was the end. and up till now, i've not heard from swaya. MAY GOD HELP HIM.

@moondust and others una dooo

_{@ seun
whoever that person is no wonder that person needs to know the real reason he was sent out of school
@ funniest tread many
@ funniest post too many
can't just pick one
but really the funniest post is the(What a wife) telemarketer posted by moi in the jokes forum}




I agree! You guys shud read 'What a wife' by mimiko!

wahala dey

wahala dey oh, na make we no see am!

ABI O

MOON DUST OWN STILL DE MAKE ME WONDER SHA

thunder

fire u

You guys,especially thief of heart and fufuking are bored small talkers,it kind of put me your realm remaining on this thread trying to relate with dumbos.Little wonder thief of heart is claiming that i tried to chart her up,imagination,if you are the last woman on earth,i will become gay,look overlooked,manners and concepts are zero acceptance and for your knowledge,i prefer white girls for they measure up to my realm,you know, not wannabes.To you akpuking,i ldon't hate white people or england,i admire their wits but i despice people like you who can't see that their wits and indoctrination is at the expense of black people,they hijacked our way life and left us one quater breed with language and culture we don't understand,white man have started industrial age when they colonize africa,but till date,africans don't even understand the mechanism behind a wheel.We should be thinking of how to put wazobia into perspective,break it down for the common man,write books and teach technicality which is the bane of life in our respective indiginous languages.


NA WA O

Dy-no-mite!


redsun (m)
England
Posts: 387

Online

Re: Terrible State Of The English Language In Nigeria
« #335 on: Today at 10:35:51 AM »

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I feel sorry for the colonized mind in suspended animation,who just does not see the need for originality and it baffles me most when they live in the west and still blind to the reality of life,little wonder politicians and goverment officials that have lived and schooled abroad still go back home and be acting like morons, still in the game of backwardness despite their brain washed education,until we begin to see and chart the world in our own way,we will remain little above sub-human beings that we are today.I find it very very embarassing.It does not take speaking a foreign language to understand the mechanism of life,all it takes is common common sense which is not very common,when it comes to africans.Rise up and see need to make the children proud,people are peasants because they accept the king.











VERY FANNY THREAD

redsun (m)
England
Posts: 388

Online

Re: Terrible State Of The English Language In Nigeria
« #302 on: Yesterday at 08:20:37 PM »

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
thief of heart,i just saw your picture in profile,you look like a refined monkey on rampage,little wonder you are dumb.












ThiefOfHearts (f)
NY
Posts: 4109

Online

Re: Terrible State Of The English Language In Nigeria
« #305 on: Yesterday at 08:32:46 PM »

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Rofl

Rhino,

I'm just playing around on here jare. if redsun and romeo want to start acting like dogs with rabies with juvenile "insults" that is their own problem

"refined monkey", what are you? 11? what next? dodo head? slowpoke. This same slowpoke sent me a message on YIM a few days back telling me that he "wants to know me better" based on this same "monkey" picture. Lmao.

I assume my blocking him really hurt his feelings.




I NO POST AGAIN, THESEGUYS WAN KILL ME

the posts on Scariest xperience

I'll post the exact post later

carlosein  that telephone conversation was way too funny  i laughed sotey my rib cracked.
moondust, una wan kill us with laughter rofl

bodsibobo:

funniest thread?

the whole postings from beginning to end about "making hair products 'under sea'".

Everyone in my office thought i was going crazy as i dey laf.

yeah.
That was a great thread.
I enjoyed it too.

a little sample from that thread that got me laughing hysterically


Quote from: Caradona on June 26, 2007, 09:30 PM

THERE are lots of crazy people in Niaja.
I remember when there was a plane crash in Port Harcourt, this lady was giving testimony that she saw Abacha's face
in the Clouds and She saw him push down the Plane. what a nutter that woman is.

And during the last election, a man gave testimony in church that he saw President Obasanjo printing ballot papers on the Moon. He swore that he saw the presidential Plane fly down from the moon with rigged ballot papers. ( that man needs some mental check up)

quote by spoilt

what sort of dememted thread is this?
wiping tears of mirth from my eyes. i can't laugh any more.
nigerians will believe anything. isnt it the same nigeria where [b]a beautiful woman was alleged to have fallen from the sky and landed on the ground at aswani market. the story concludes by the woman brushing off her dusty behind casually, picking up her handbag and walking away calmly and mingling with fellow shoppers[/[/b]quote]

;d

u guys are killin me, nairaland is not gud 4 d health

u sef u funny

that Caradona post is offf the hook meeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.lol


@+osisi,
nice to see u r back.

Mustay:

You guys,especially thief of heart and fufuking are bored small talkers,it kind of put me your realm remaining on this thread trying to relate with dumbos.Little wonder thief of heart is claiming that i tried to chart her up,imagination,if you are the last woman on earth,i will become gay,look overlooked,manners and concepts are zero acceptance and for your knowledge,i prefer white girls for they measure up to my realm,you know, not wannabes.To you akpuking,i ldon't hate white people or england,i admire their wits but i despice people like you who can't see that their wits and indoctrination is at the expense of black people,they hijacked our way life and left us one quater breed with language and culture we don't understand,white man have started industrial age when they colonize africa,but till date,africans don't even understand the mechanism behind a wheel.We should be thinking of how to put wazobia into perspective,break it down for the common man,write books and teach technicality which is the bane of life in our respective indiginous languages.


NA WA O

Lucky thiefofhearts then! If your realm is this terrible diction and she doesnt have to step down to it, she is very well lucky!

@spiked cylinder

Wetin b ya own nah?
Free the guy.Ive seen worse sentence constructions in Nairaland.

Your mama so short that when she take passport her legs dey show

yo momma so ugly dat wen she entered a bank,dey had to turn off d cameras.

so itz become YO MOMMA thread right?

It's your yash that is porknoseing. if you were driven out of school, pork your ass out.

PLS BY PASS i'm doing my own thing HERE

YAHOO EMOTION :d ~o) @};- (~~) make e work oh?

Yo Mama so Black,

She was Marked Absent in Night Class.

there was a really funny thread abt using witchcraft to travel to Asia. i think the guy said he traveled as a witch. it was so funny . i forgot where that thread is now.