dangermouse:


Allow the op who has the full picture tell us himself. Op said the guy is supportive so where is he getting the money to support him?

Exactly!! See Op has also allowed sentiment and emotions get into this thing. I wish him luck that's if he gets out of this one..but e go hard cos he doesn't even sound like he has the will power to.

Never heard of Diogenes syndrome before reading this....had to read it up

Diogenes syndrome, also known as senile squalor syndrome, is a disorder characterized by extreme self-neglect, apathy, social withdrawal, and a lack of shame or embarrassment about one's living conditions. The syndrome is named after the ancient Greek philosopher Diogenes, who famously lived a simple and ascetic lifestyle.

People with Diogenes syndrome often live in squalor, with cluttered and filthy living spaces, neglecting their personal hygiene and health, and hoarding items such as food, trash, and other objects. They may also isolate themselves from friends and family, and refuse offers of help or intervention.

The causes of Diogenes syndrome are not well understood, but it is believed to be a complex interplay of physical, psychological, and social factors. Risk factors for the syndrome include old age, social isolation, mental illness, and a history of trauma or abuse.

Treatment for Diogenes syndrome can be challenging, as people with the disorder are often resistant to help. A multidisciplinary approach involving mental health professionals, social workers, and medical doctors is often necessary to address the physical, psychological, and social needs of the person with the disorder. In some cases, court-ordered interventions may be necessary to ensure the safety and well-being of the person.

@OP, your ex's brother isn't your responsibility. I'd suggest you give him a specific date to move out. That's should be enought time for him to dig for others that will accommodate him.

Actually, you shouldn't have even allowed it in the first place; there's no point being useful to people that are useless to you. Just my view.

Kobicove:
Personally I think before you allow someone to come squat in your house matters such as how long the person can stay should be discussed and agreed upfront

it doesn’t work that way most time.


What I’ll do in such situation is to help him with money I can afford in getting his own accommodation.

Wake up, eat and make sure you have showered. Then tell him...
"Please, leave my house".

Don't quickly ask him to leave your house, but ask him how long will he stay after telling you
If you're okay with his reply fine
If you're not look for a way to ask him to leave just give him genuine reason


Today na you get money
Tomorrow no be you get money

Life na turn by turn

pocohantas:
This is why I love Tallesty1's brothers. They will allow their friends come live with them. For front they will be shining teeth and claiming only men can live together. Behind they would be nagging seriously and wishing the guy would leave. Tell him to leave kwanu, they won't

Now they are suggesting he brings his babe.
The foolish girl would also pack her bags and go there to serve as a tool to chase the guy out. Then they will once again claim the relationship was good until the girl moved in.

You've said it all , later on the other guy will start complaining online , that women are wicked, that a friend kicked him out just because of his girlfriend , not knowing that it's his fellow men that did him dirty .

I had a similar case except that the girl in question is a family frnd. She was coming from Enugu to her family House here in abakaliki and stopped by as we have not seen for over a year. From stopping by to greeting, she stayed till night and becos is same town, I felt she cn also go even in the night. From greeting to sleeping over on the pretence of " its late" to waking up in the morning and telling me to allow her stay for one week, that she feels like staying away frm her family house for a week.

Since I share similar introverted and kindhearted demeanour attributes as OP, plus I love privacy and private life, I was constantly troubled on her to ask her to go. Omo one day like that an inspiration came to me and i applied it and it was so so effective except that its was deceitful and full of planned out lies which didn't sit well with me as a Christian but I did those regardless and it worked..

OP, you cn contact me or chat me up personally as am nt ready to tell wat I did in public becos tomorrow N/landers will use it to antagonize me. Fear N/land historians and thank me later...

08064704560.
Trust me, it will be a potent strategy to make him leave in a peaceful way.

manee2:
My ex broke up with me while I was accomodating her brother, and she's married now.
I saw this as motivation, moved and doubled down on my hustle and lost communication with both of them.
As I was trying to find my bearings, within a year two of my friends had already kicked me out of their house.
About 3 months ago she contacted me through FB and asked for my phone number for her brother.
He needed my help, under the guise of trying to start his life over. All his friends he hung out with turned their backs on him.

Having learned life the hard way, I have become an introvert who easily feels uncomfortable around the people around me. I discovered that I did better on my own.

Regardless of that, I put up with it and regret it because I'm embarrassed and slowly losing focus.
Although he is supportive, but he has Diogenes syndrome.
Being so kind-hearted, I don't know how to ask him to leave my space.

Leave your space, have you accommodated him already?

Just tell the person that you need to get to somewhere.

Lol..😂 What were u thinking oga...?!!! This one off me... See.. u don already start... Cook up n excuse, d usual relative line...so he has to go...When u say "supportive"...u didn't say "how"?... Na u wear d shoe Sha, so u know wear it pinches...

manee2:
My ex broke up with me while I was accomodating her brother, and she's married now.
I saw this as motivation, moved and doubled down on my hustle and lost communication with both of them.
As I was trying to find my bearings, within a year two of my friends had already kicked me out of their house.
About 3 months ago she contacted me through FB and asked for my phone number for her brother.
He needed my help, under the guise of trying to start his life over. All his friends he hung out with turned their backs on him.

Having learned life the hard way, I have become an introvert who easily feels uncomfortable around the people around me. I discovered that I did better on my own.

Regardless of that, I put up with it and regret it because I'm embarrassed and slowly losing focus.
Although he is supportive, but he has Diogenes syndrome.
Being so kind-hearted, I don't know how to ask him to leave my space.

wetin be diogenes syndrome?
Or you mean di-george's syndrome?

manee2:
My ex broke up with me while I was accomodating her brother, and she's married now.
I saw this as motivation, moved and doubled down on my hustle and lost communication with both of them.
As I was trying to find my bearings, within a year two of my friends had already kicked me out of their house.
About 3 months ago she contacted me through FB and asked for my phone number for her brother.
He needed my help, under the guise of trying to start his life over. All his friends he hung out with turned their backs on him.

Having learned life the hard way, I have become an introvert who easily feels uncomfortable around the people around me. I discovered that I did better on my own.

Regardless of that, I put up with it and regret it because I'm embarrassed and slowly losing focus.
Although he is supportive, but he has Diogenes syndrome.
Being so kind-hearted, I don't know how to ask him to leave my space.

Your ex brother abi

pocohantas:
This is why I love Tallesty1's brothers. They will allow their friends come live with them. For front they will be shining teeth and claiming only men can live together. Behind they would be nagging seriously and wishing the guy would leave. Tell him to leave kwanu, they won't

Now they are suggesting he brings his babe.
The foolish girl would also pack her bags and go there to serve as a tool to chase the guy out. Then they will once again claim the relationship was good until the girl moved in.

Women take unnecessary falls for things they know nothing about. You will meet your gee for something and he will be like "lemme discuss it with my wife/lady" if last last the thing no click nah the woman we go blame

It is called looking out for your man.

kestolove95:
Go bring ur babe to come stay with you for a week, dat one alone is ok

Na one of my guy planned with a babe in other to chase away his male friend that year...to cut the Torry short the girl divulged all the plans to the accused, as I'm talking now they are happily married.

Kobicove:
Personally I think before you allow someone to come squat in your house matters such as how long the person can stay should be discussed and agreed upfront

This method is good but it's not always working. A friend told me that he's branching Abuja to submit a document. For more than three months, the person never care to leave ago. I'm just thinking aloud how to move him out.

[quote author=novia22 post=123053816]Diogenes syndrome is no joke and the sufferer can continuously continue to piss you off back to back from being extremely dirty and untidy to always staying indoors thereby giving you no room for your own privacy.

You nailed it!

manee2:


He's been here already for over 2 months

Some kin story I dey always read on Nairaland sef

Why will you take in your ex brother?

manee2:
My ex broke up with me while I was accomodating her brother, and she's married now.
I saw this as motivation, moved and doubled down on my hustle and lost communication with both of them.
As I was trying to find my bearings, within a year two of my friends had already kicked me out of their house.
About 3 months ago she contacted me through FB and asked for my phone number for her brother.
He needed my help, under the guise of trying to start his life over. All his friends he hung out with turned their backs on him.

Having learned life the hard way, I have become an introvert who easily feels uncomfortable around the people around me. I discovered that I did better on my own.

Regardless of that, I put up with it and regret it because I'm embarrassed and slowly losing focus.
Although he is supportive, but he has Diogenes syndrome.
Being so kind-hearted, I don't know how to ask him to leave my space.

You could have spared me the stress of googling this word but thanks for the education.

As for him, invite your mother or sister over and inform him he has to leave or put up with him tell him he has to up his hygiene as you find it appalling cos this life is for a fleeting moment plus giving shelter to the homeless is an act of mercy. Goodluck

Trustedpronet:


Na one of my guy planned with a babe in other to chase away his male friend that year...to cut the Torry short the girl divulged all the plans to the accused, as I'm talking now they are happily married.

😂😂😂😂😂

dangermouse:


Allow the op who has the full picture tell us himself. Op said the guy is supportive so where is he getting the money to support him?

I think he is hoarding

reservd:

Leave your space, have you accommodated him already?

Yes, For almost 3 months

manee2:
My ex broke up with me while I was accomodating her brother, and she's married now.
I saw this as motivation, moved and doubled down on my hustle and lost communication with both of them.
As I was trying to find my bearings, within a year two of my friends had already kicked me out of their house.
About 3 months ago she contacted me through FB and asked for my phone number for her brother.
He needed my help, under the guise of trying to start his life over. All his friends he hung out with turned their backs on him.

Having learned life the hard way, I have become an introvert who easily feels uncomfortable around the people around me. I discovered that I did better on my own.

Regardless of that, I put up with it and regret it because I'm embarrassed and slowly losing focus.
Although he is supportive, but he has Diogenes syndrome.
Being so kind-hearted, I don't know how to ask him to leave my space.

Bro you should have said no immediately she called you. Your married ex asking you to squat the brother is the highest level of exploitation. Unfortunately you've positioned yourself to be used. There's no softly in this matter. Tell the guy you're expecting your mother soon and there'll be no space for him. Give him 2weeks to vacate your apartment. Simple.

manee2:
My ex broke up with me while I was accomodating her brother, and she's married now.
I saw this as motivation, moved and doubled down on my hustle and lost communication with both of them.
As I was trying to find my bearings, within a year two of my friends had already kicked me out of their house.
About 3 months ago she contacted me through FB and asked for my phone number for her brother.
He needed my help, under the guise of trying to start his life over. All his friends he hung out with turned their backs on him.

Having learned life the hard way, I have become an introvert who easily feels uncomfortable around the people around me. I discovered that I did better on my own.

Regardless of that, I put up with it and regret it because I'm embarrassed and slowly losing focus.
Although he is supportive, but he has Diogenes syndrome.
Being so kind-hearted, I don't know how to ask him to leave my space.

That is your ex brother ,that went and marry another man is enough motivation to make you tell him to go.

Except maybe he is paying the rent with you.

It is this you ozkwo behavior that made her sister married another man.

Are you are mugu?

manee2:


I think he is hoarding

You don't need to think it, He is a hoarder. It's another characteristic of someone with Diogenes syndrome.

They hoard food, things, even dirt sef.

It's a typical example of some mad people we see on the streets today carrying alot of load.
Most of them suffer Diogenes syndrome but people have no knowledge of it. They are unkept, dirty, hoard things, are withdrawn and have no shame but we call it "madness" in Nigeria (which isn't wrong cos it's a mental disorder). it's possible Oga can even afford a house of his own but just wants to live off you for lesser responsibility. You do the cleaning, cooking, bill paying etc and he plays victim.

manee2:


I think he is hoarding

Apart from hording dirt, he is hording money too? . engage him and make him find a room apartment and help him however you can to make him move out...

Carry prostitute and Bleep in his presence. He go comot

novia22:


You don't need to think it, He is a hoarder. It's another characteristic of someone with Diogenes syndrome.

They hoard food, things, even dirt sef.

It's a typical example of some mad people we see on the streets today carrying alot of load.
Most of them suffer Diogenes syndrome but people have no knowledge of it. They are unkept, dirty, hoard things, are withdrawn and have no shame but we call it "madness" in Nigeria (which isn't wrong cos it's a mental disorder). it's possible Oga can even afford a house of his own but just wants to live off you for lesser responsibility. You do the cleaning, cooking, bill paying etc and he plays victim.

Exactly! I do the cooking, cleaning and bill payment.

Well, i just found out that a stress reaction, resulting from a traumatic event, such as the death of a loved one is the major cause of Diogenes syndrome. Yes! he just lost a loved one, his lover and financial backbone.

FREDCLSSICO7:
put wetin go dey attract snake and scorpion come your doormot once he see like two snakes and 3 heavily pregnant scorpion nobody go tell am before he pick race

What about OP's safety?

manee2:


Exactly! I do the cooking, cleaning and bill payment.

Well, i just found out that a stress reaction, resulting from a traumatic event, such as the death of a loved one is the major cause of Diogenes syndrome. Yes! he just lost a loved one, his lover and financial backbone.

So are you now his financial backbone? Abi him wan turn you to him lover? Jokes apart, So he is actually not contributing anything to you? This is a parasitic relationship my brother. He has to go asap.
Tell Him your brother that paid the rent for you is coming to stay a long while and the house can't accommodate you 3. That pls he has till the end of the week to leave. Dont ask him if he has a place to go to, or money to rent a place, the answer will be NO ( remember he is a hoarder). Just tell him he needs to go shikenah.

That guy wasn't planning on leaving you......ever and His sister, your Ex is a wicked person to have heaped such a responsibility on you.

Chykes403:
Carry prostitute and Bleep in his presence. He go comot

People suffering that syndrome no get shame. E go dey there till you finish work...