Everything you're about to read is a real life experience of my life.

My name is ken and I will be 26 years old this December.
I'm about to type my experience with masturbation and sexual molestation with a heavy heart.
It's a long story,but I will try to make it as short as possible.

We lived in a face me and face you house while I was small.
My parent were not always around because my dad was living in a faraway state due to his work, and my mum was a government worker.
Due to this reason, I'm mostly at home by myself in the compound and that made me a target by one grown up sister in compound.

I don't know the age it all started neither can i remember how it all started, but I know I'm either in primary 1 or primary 2 when it all started.
All I know is I will be invited by a sister in the compound and she will make me lie on her and do many sickening stuffs to her.
I can't quite remember all the details, but I remember one thing that I will never forget in my life.
After she has done everything she had in mind with me one day, she opened her legs and told me to lick her private part.

That single act gave me trauma for years because I was not able to forget the taste for years.
I can be eaten and suddenly I won't be able to eat anymore because I will be tasting something similar to what I licked years ago.
I can't also forget the day she used raw pepper on my private part.
I can't remember why she did that, but I remember is it was so painful and I think I cried after leaving her place that day.



Why did I not report to my parent?
Well that sister threatened to do horrible things to me and i was really scared of her, probably because i was a kid in primary 2 and she's way older than me.
I remember one day she saw me coming out of a neighbour's room and she called out to me, I quickly ran away upstairs, pretending i did not hear her.
when she finally got hold of me she wanted to deal with me if not for the intervention of one woman in the compound.

Note: the time the sister is always commanding me to follow her is mostly when I'm playing with other kids or I'm just alone.

From the day she wanted to deal with me i got more scared of her and I do try to hide most times, but any time she sees me, I must definitely follow her.
I voiced out to my friend one day about the sister and he promised to help me fight her, but he wasn't able to.
It happened that I was standing near where my friend and other kids were playing football and the sister called my name and signalled to follow her.
I signalled to my friend but he was absorbed totally in the football and I can't shout his name in order for the sister not to know I'm disobeying her strict order of not telling anybody about what's going on between both of us.
So with a heavy heart I followed her that day.

Another thing happened that made me decided not to talk about anything i was going through with anybody again.
My older cousin and her sister came to stay with us for a few days and to cut the long story short,the same thing that the sister in my compound is doing to me, my cousin tried it with me in the night.
I told my sister the next day about what happened and she told my cousin which led to an argument and my cousin said i was lying and if my mum hears about it she will flog me.
My cousin started filling my head with things, saying how my mum will be so upset about me lying about something as evil as that and different things that will happen to me, so I just decided to keep quiet forever.

Things continued between me and the sister in my compound for months and also stuff happened between me and one of her friends 2 or 3 times.

One day i woke up and i realised I was already addicted.
The sister that I was always trying to run away from, I went to meet her willing for us to do the stuffs and she quickly agreed.

Me getting addicted was what led me to start masturbation.
Mind you, it is not the normal masturbation that you know about, it is totally different.
Anytime the sister is not around,I will lie down flat on my chest, then close my eyes and start imagining myself on top of her and start twisting my body and after some minutes I will suddenly feel relieved and okay.
((That was my own masturbation which I did not know back then that it was masturbation until few years after i graduated from secondary school.))


When I got promoted to pry 3,we moved to our own house and I was free of the sister but I'm already addicted to lying down flat on my chest and imagining myself on top of her to get relieved.
This was what i kept doing from pry 3 upto maturity.
I lay down flat on my chest,twist my body and I will feel relieved.
It was all okay until sperm started coming out anytime I use that method to feel relieved.

((Before you judge me and say it's because I love sex and porn that's why I kept doing that.
Few things about me is I don't watch porn,I don't like sex,I don't sexualize women,I don't feel comfortable even hugging a lady apart from my best friend and also apart from that sister,her friend and my cousin that messed up my childhood, I have willing have sex with just a lady and she was my girlfriend.))

((I don't believe in having sex before marriage because it's against my own personal orientation and rule.
I only agreed to have sex with my then girlfriend because she actually disturbed me for it and since I thought she's the one I'm definitely going to marry that was why I decided to give in.))
So don't think I masturbate because I want sex or like sex.
This stupid masturbation is just a bad habit that I'm addicted to from a young age due to several molestation, but I'm gradually winning the war against it.......i think.
The thing even is I don't associate with anything sex and things surrounding it while growing up. I got to know about masturbation after my secondary school and that was when realised what I have been doing since primary 2 to relieve myself by laying down on my chest is a form of masturbation.
So I have been masturbating for more that 16 yrs.

I'm now I Christian but anytime I don't pray for a long period of time or get depressed about my life and stop going to church, i mostly fall back into masturbation.
I masturbated 4 times last year and this year I have done it twice.
I have made up my mind to try everything possible not to do it again and fight it anyway I can.
Though I feel the damage is done already, but I can't still change and be better.


What has masturbation caused me?

1, I realised I release sperm in matter of seconds.
I got to know about this problem when I was dating my ex years ago.
I can release sperm in less than 10 seconds,that's how bad it is.

2, I feel pain in my penis anytime I release sperm.

3,I do have terrible stomach ache if I wake up sometimes and I feel erected for long period of time

4,I stopped masturbation and wet dreams have been disturbing my life.
Sometimes I have it consecutively for days before it goes away.

5,I sometimes feel depressed.

6, my penis is extremely small when not erected,
It is only when erected i feel it is a little big.
It is like 5.7 to 6 inches the day I measured.

Also lastly,
I have decided I won't get married because my wife will definitely cheat on me and will I blame her?
Who wants to stay with a man that can last ordinary 15 seconds.


Don't pity me please
Life is not fair but I refuse to be a victim.
I will just adopt kids and buy pets but no marriage for me.


I do think it sometimes that I will give absolutely anything to have my childhood sexual experiences erased and never knowing what masturbation is.
I will give anything to reset my childhood and grow up like a normal kid without any sister molesting him
But life is not flash that i can go back to reset the past,we just live with anything life throw at us.

....

What a life

So many script writters wasting away on Nairaland ... Good story telling skills

Oh dear 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Damn!
My friend went through similar thing like this.
Dude nearly cried when he told me stories of things done to him😪.
Reason I will encourage my kids to be very open with me even if they scared.

I hope you heal one day Ken.

Ireportlive:
So many script writters wasting away on Nairaland ... Good story telling skills

Na because of individuals like you people especially men no dey gree speak out about things they passed through or are passing through.
If you no go make fun of them,you go say them secretly enjoy am or make you tell them say the story no true.
Me personally get friend wey pass through something like this and na me sabi the kind pain he dey feel when he dey tell me everything.
Kai! Men like you dey always vex me and I for sample your forehead with knock if na offline you talk this thing.
Let me ask you some questions sef.
How you take know say na true or lie?
You follow the op grow up?
Na you be the omnipotent and omniscience wey sabi past,present and future?
Give me one reason why the op dey lie?
Na today things dey happen for this life?
Father dey molest daughter, mother dey sleep with her own son, uncles,aunties and cousins dey molest and sleep with their nieces, nephews and in-laws.
People no dey sleep dey sleep with children as young as 4 yrs old?
Cases of molestation dey o and because e no happen for your side no mean say e no dey happen or na lie .
10 dey happen,infact 20 dey happen for this life.


Dj! Bring me 20 kegs of palmwine, 10 for me and 10 for the OP make he use calm down.
Barman! Play me "This life sef" by Celine dion and aisha buhari.

By the grace of God, I know exactly what you are taking about.

RedChiefPriest:

Na because of individuals like you people especially men no dey gree speak out about things they passed through or are passing through.
If you no go make fun of them,you go say them secretly enjoy am or make you tell them say the story no true.
Me personally get friend wey pass through something like this and na me sabi the kind pain he dey feel when he dey tell me everything.
Kai! Men like you dey always vex me and I for sample your forehead with knock if na offline you talk this thing.
Let me ask you some questions sef.
How you take know say na true or lie?
You follow the op grow up?
Na you be the omnipotent and omniscience wey sabi past,present and future?
Give me one reason why the op dey lie?
Na today things dey happen for this life?
Father dey molest daughter, mother dey sleep with her own son, uncles,aunties and cousins dey molest and sleep with their nieces, nephews and in-laws.
People no dey sleep dey sleep with children as young as 4 yrs old?
Cases of molestation dey o and because e no happen for your side no mean say e no dey happen or na lie .
10 dey happen,infact 20 dey happen for this life.


Dj! Bring me 20 kegs of palmwine, 10 for me and 10 for the OP make he use calm down.
Barman! Play me "This life sef" by Celine dion and aisha buhari.

Oga I only commended his writting skills, I didn't invalidate his story

Ireportlive:
So many script writters wasting away on Nairaland ... Good story telling skills

you are a fool o.

This is clearly an "adverse childhood experience". ACE are truamatic incidents in the life of a child during childhood. They damage the psyche of the child and weaken his capacity to enjoy adulthood.

However, ACE can be resolved if you work with a professional counsellor/Mental health therapist. There are psychological tools that can be used to dissolve the impact of ACE and help you live a more fulfilling and enjoyable adult life.

TheNeoMan:
[size=8pt]I'm now I Christian but anytime I don't pray for a long period of time or get depressed about my life and stop going to church, i mostly fall back into masturbation.
I masturbated 4 times last year and this year I have done it twice.
I have made up my mind to try everything possible not to do it again and fight it anyway I can.
Though I feel the damage is done already, but I can't still change and be better.


What has masturbation caused me?

1, I realised I release sperm in matter of seconds.
I got to know about this problem when I was dating my ex years ago.
I can release sperm in less than 10 seconds,that's how bad it is.

2, I feel pain in my penis anytime I release sperm.

3,I do have terrible stomach ache if I wake up sometimes and I feel erected for long period of time

4,I stopped masturbation and wet dreams have been disturbing my life.
Sometimes I have it consecutively for days before it goes away.

5,I sometimes feel depressed.

6, my penis is extremely small when not erected,
It is only when erected i feel it is a little big.
It is like 5.7 to 6 inches the day I measured.

Also lastly,
I have decided I won't get married because my wife will definitely cheat on me and will I blame her?
Who wants to stay with a man that can last ordinary 15 seconds.


Don't pity me please
Life is not fair but I refuse to be a victim.
I will just adopt kids and buy pets but no marriage for me.
I do think it sometimes that I will give absolutely anything to have my childhood sexual experiences erased and never knowing what masturbation is.
I will give anything to reset my childhood and grow up like a normal kid without any sister molesting him
But life is not flash that i can go back to reset the past,we just live with anything life throw at us.

Guy why are you sounding defeated?

You've got the victory, keep on speaking it.
Yes you may fail at times but you don't stay there.
Yes all these bad things happened to you, but you don't have to dwell there. Stand up and speak life your Pen*$. Speak life to your life and existence. You will not settle for what the devil is offering. "Remember he that is in Christ is a New Creation, old things are passed away, all things are become new"

Boss you are new creation. It is because of you Jesus came to give you life ABUNDANTLY.

STAND UP NOW AND SPEAK.

Ireportlive:
So many script writters wasting away on Nairaland ... Good story telling skills

People and comments like yours are the reasons why male victims hardly speak up.

You don't understand, never been through it doesn't mean he is lying.

One of my closest male friends will never date a lady younger than him , his age mates or ladies few years older than him.
He likes them waaaay older . Imagine a 32 years old guy dating a 45 plus years old woman and he can't stay without sex for a week.

Such emotional damages !!!

Don't laugh at people's pains.
Not everyone comes on Nairaland to fabricate stories ,Osewa doesn't pay the forum users.

Dear Op,
I hope you heal and find peace!

♥️

david102:



Guy why are you sounding defeated?

You've got the victory, keep on speaking it.
Yes you may fail at times but you don't stay there.
Yes all these bad things happened to you, but you don't have to dwell there. Stand up and speak life your Pen*$. Speak life to your life and existence. You will not settle for what the devil is offering. "Remember he that is in Christ is a New Creation, old things are passed away, all things are become new"

Boss you are new creation. It is because of you Jesus came to give you life ABUNDANTLY.

STAND UP NOW AND SPEAK.

Thank you so much
"I'm a new creation" I won't forget that.

poshestmina:


People and comments like yours are the reasons why male victims hardly speak up.

You don't understand, never been through it doesn't mean he is lying.

One of my closest male friends will never date a lady younger than him , his age mates or ladies few years older than him.
He likes them waaaay older . Imagine a 32 years old guy dating a 45 plus years old woman and he can't stay without sex for a week.

Such emotional damages !!!

Don't laugh at people's pains.
Not everyone comes on Nairaland to fabricate stories ,Osewa doesn't pay the forum users.

Dear Op,
I hope you heal and find peace!

♥️

Thank you.

RedChiefPriest:

Na because of individuals like you people especially men no dey gree speak out about things they passed through or are passing through.
If you no go make fun of them,you go say them secretly enjoy am or make you tell them say the story no true.
Me personally get friend wey pass through something like this and na me sabi the kind pain he dey feel when he dey tell me everything.
Kai! Men like you dey always vex me and I for sample your forehead with knock if na offline you talk this thing.
Let me ask you some questions sef.
How you take know say na true or lie?
You follow the op grow up?
Na you be the omnipotent and omniscience wey sabi past,present and future?
Give me one reason why the op dey lie?
Na today things dey happen for this life?
Father dey molest daughter, mother dey sleep with her own son, uncles,aunties and cousins dey molest and sleep with their nieces, nephews and in-laws.
People no dey sleep dey sleep with children as young as 4 yrs old?
Cases of molestation dey o and because e no happen for your side no mean say e no dey happen or na lie .
10 dey happen,infact 20 dey happen for this life.


Dj! Bring me 20 kegs of palmwine, 10 for me and 10 for the OP make he use calm down.
Barman! Play me "This life sef" by Celine dion and aisha buhari.

I can't even bring myself to reply him.
He has no idea about the kind of pain I'm in.
I just sit somedays and replay things all over,wishing everything can just be totally erased.
If the man knows just a little bit of the pain and frustration I go through, he probably won't say that.
Anyways, it is what it is.
I decided to speak out about my pain not to entertain anybody, but just to release some of the pain.
I don't care about his opinion.

And chief,thank you for the palmwine😁.