Zahra29:


Greetings

Couldn't have been me though, my conference was in Bournemouth and I had on a yellow dress

I think they meant you are a Tory supporter and Missjekyl is flying the Labour flag 😁🤣

PalestianIsrael:


Thank you my brother.

I thought I was running mad.

I never knew in my wildest dreams I’ll be in this Situation. I’m a very liberal live and let live kind of guy. Nothing is by force.

The only “crime” madam claims I have committed is inflicting emotional pain. How? Because when we quarrel over relationship stuff she says my apologies are not genuine and I stay away for too long to cool my head. And I don’t initiate the apology or reconciliation. Anyone who knows me knows I hate confrontation or stress. I thought I knew or understood my wife when I married her. But now the stress doesn’t make sense. When she argues her own and I’m tired of the argument, I give space.

To now “retaliate” against the emotional pain I’m inflicting by coming to disturb me/slap me/tell me to leave/smash phone/bringing knives /poking me etc. is soooo over the red line. If I saw this physical side, I won’t have gone ahead. Never in my wildest dreams, did I see myself fighting back after being beaten and bruised. Am I meant to just swallow it?

I just need a suitable way out. This is not what I signed up for. I believe I do my best (without tooting my own horn) and things shouldn’t escalate to physical violence even if I “committed” the crime of emotional distress.

This is not sustainable.
The fighting has happened more than 3 times.

First time…push and struggle.
Second time…slaps and blows.
Third time…madam brought knives saying I should make the work easier.

How on earth is this the solution to the emotional abuse she’s suffering? We’ve been on this emotional issue for years, I’ve lost hope on solving it.

Need to get out while I’m still alive. Crazy world.

Hustla has a point.

It would do you a lot of good to report the issue to police first just in case.

All the posters up there saying you ignoring your wife, not giving her emotional support and all that nonsense is not an excuse for physical violence on her part.

jedisco:


Divorces here are no joke especially when there's a good income difference and kids are involved.

Not a lawyer but for well established marriages, the target for a legal split is 50:50 of marital possessions. Even your pensions and isa accumulated after marriage are not exempt.

To the house, though there might be a 50:50 equity split awarded, priority is always given to the kids. The kids will usually be allowed to stay in the house moreso if they're established there.
Your partner might buy you out of the mortgage or you both can sell and go separate ways. If she refuses, it's very unlikely a Judge would give an order mandating sale when kids are involved. That means as the other partner, even though you may have 50% equity in the house, you may not be able to sell until kids turn 18 or leave.

In the meantime, you would need to rent your place and banks will chase whoevers name is on the mortgage to keep up with payments. All this is aside child maintenance which goes primarily to the partner with main custody. If you're unlucky and have domestic violence pinned on you, another gbese as your alloted time might be culled. Of course, either of you can have a new relationship while all this is going on.

If you have good earning potential and a vast difference from your partner, a divorce can leave you wrinsed

Thank you very much for that detailed explanation.

So basically, a civil partnership is better?

Raalsalghul:


Hustla has a point.

It would do you a lot of good to report the issue to police first just in case.

All the posters up there saying you ignoring your wife, not giving her emotional support and all that nonsense is not an excuse for physical violence on her part.

Gracias

PalestianIsrael:
Hi Elders,

Had to create a new account to hide my identity.

Need urgent advice. Domestic Violence.

I need advice from Elders who have either experienced similar issues or know people that have. We bought have pictures of the injuries we inflicted to each other as ammunition if things escalate to police.

I’m really confused. Please help!!!

https://mensadviceline.org.uk/ Go to them for advice. They will not only advice you but provide you with the necessary resources, guidance and support you need. Good luck and stay alive!

BorisJohnson:


Have you considered that you were probably starving her of emotional support?
Someone above asked to imply why you seem to be more ‘married’ to your phone and laptop than you are, to her.

Have you even considered that you are/were in the wrong on some occasions?

Please, see if you can find a way of solving issues.

Let's be critical with our advice and not meddle gender diversity in our opinion.

With the gravity of the issue at hand, what the OP needs to do first and foremost is to leave the house for safety reasons not just for him alone but for the wife as well. When this is achieved, every other thing that leads to resolution or dissolution follows. #Ire o.

Peerielass:


I think they meant you are a Tory supporter and Missjekyl is flying the Labour flag 😁🤣

Lol, I know....the yellow dress signifies that I'm a Libdem supporter 😂

justwise:


Don't start

Sorry sir. Before they call you anti-christ

Can someone please recommend a cheap VPN.

I want my tiktok contents targeted at Nigeria, currently I only get UK viewers and my content is Nigerian based.

Go back to Nigeria now and enjoy the Nigerian audience to the fullest 😂😂

Viruses:
Can someone please recommend a cheap VPN.

I want my tiktok contents targeted at Nigeria, currently I only get UK viewers and my content is Nigerian based.

@palestianisrael

Since things have descended to physical violence to the extent of having weapons close by, I would suggest one person moves out immediately for both your safety.

It doesn't matter who started what, the main issue is the potential loss of life that could happen in the blink of an eye. You don't have to swallow it or bear it . If someone is beating you, run out of the house and call the police. It is important to leave a paper trail.

People that have killed their partners have similar stories.. One day in the red mist of anger a weapon was used and that's it. No coming back. Failed marriage is better than death.

Google gov.uk domestic abuse, there are lots of resources eg live chats,phone numbers, organisations that offer support to people with this problem.

Would be interesting to know if these fights were happening back in Nigeria because this sort of thing doesn't just spring out of the blues. Someone just doesn't become violent like that.

From what you've written it seems there's a lot of problems in the marriage, not understanding each other and wife feeling emotionally abused or neglected for years, you have even sort of said you may have caused emotional distress and have given up. If she has been emotionally abused for years, perhaps she is snapping and can't take it anymore. It is not safe for both of you to be in the same space.. You trigger her, she responds triggering you to a response and the vicious cycle continues.

Thankfully, there are no children so you both can make a clean break or you choose counselling but from afar to avoid problem.

Separation is not divorce.. It would give both of you time to think through and get the help needed.

Even divorce is better than death..

I would avoid churches and pastors in this sort of situation..

Good luck.

Viruses:
Can someone please recommend a cheap VPN.

I want my tiktok contents targeted at Nigeria, currently I only get UK viewers and my content is Nigerian based.

You can take a man out of Naija, you cannot take Naija out of him
I can relate haha. Omo, the way I hated Twitter for always pushing UK content to my timeline then. I can't even remember how it happened, but now my timeline is dominated by Naija content and much less of UK and other places - just the way I want it - the Naija way .

Raalsalghul:


Hustla has a point.

It would do you a lot of good to report the issue to police first just in case.

All the posters up there saying you ignoring your wife, not giving her emotional support and all that nonsense is not an excuse for physical violence on her part.

Are we intentionally leaving out the part where he said they both inflicted injuries on eachother?

@palestianisrae,

If there is one advice you must take from all that has been said, it is to first move out. Each additional day you two spend together in this situation is a recipe for disaster. Then the second one is to seek professional help. The marriage could still work if you both are willing and ready to make it work later. But trying to make things work between you two while still cohabiting could escalate things beyond your control. I don't care who is right or wrong, it saddens me when people (men or women) lose their lives or end up in jail trying to safe a marriage despite having several chances to take a break, get healing and stay alive and happy.

Raalsalghul:


Thank you very much for that detailed explanation.

So basically, a civil partnership is better?

It depends... they all have their pros and cons.

But if you're getting married in a society which has a divorce rate of over 40% (that's aside bitter unions), it goes eithout saying that it's important to understand the reasons why divorce is so common and how to prevent and mitigate it's impact should it occur. Unfortunately, the 'it's not my portion' approach does many people in.

SapphireFort:

Are we intentionally leaving out the part where he said they both inflicted injuries on eachother?

Didnt see anything like that sha

hustla:


Didnt see anything like that sha

This "Our physical struggles lead to bites, cuts etc. on each of us".

And this

"We bought have pictures of the injuries we inflicted to each other as ammunition if things escalate to police".

For joint mortgage application, does the credit score of both applicants matter or just that of the main applicant?

PalestianIsrael:


Her visa is tied to mine and she would be shooting herself in the foot as well, maybe we’ll both go home. At this point, I can’t rule out anything from her. I have seen insanity face to face. So sad that I used to judge men in my position in the past, meanwhile the wife is literally instigating the violence by struggling, slapping, bringing knives (poking me with the knife) etc. and anything resulting from struggle/self-defence is called assault. It’s utterly ridiculous. I have minor cuts all over and my body is aching me from slaps and blows.

slaps cuts blow my guy you better flee..

Viruses:
For joint mortgage application, does the credit score of both applicants matter or just that of the main applicant?

Both ...... Because you are jointly liable/responsible.....

The credit history of one applicant, would have a massive impact on the type of mortgage available(or not available).....

Please, has anyone tried booking flights via bookingdotcom? What was your experience like?

Please let me know, make I no go throwaway money!

Hwy9:
Please, has anyone tried booking flights via bookingdotcom? What was your experience like?

Please let me know, make I no go throwaway money!

I have.

Once you book and get a reference number, you manage your flight on the flight's portal as if you booked from the flight portal.

Hwy9:
Please, has anyone tried booking flights via bookingdotcom? What was your experience like?

Please let me know, make I no go throwaway money!

This is a proper company....... You can even buy their shares, from the stock market........ 😂😁

Viruses:
For joint mortgage application, does the credit score of both applicants matter or just that of the main applicant?

It’s more than the score it’s the credit history, and yes they will scrutinise both applicants

Hwy9:
Please, has anyone tried booking flights via bookingdotcom? What was your experience like?

Please let me know, make I no go throwaway money!

No issues at all. Na confirm site

Lollllll. Oh i had to shelve my plans but i am following them very excitedly. I cannot even begin to tell you how much i despise this government. Look at HS2,as if northerners do not pay taxes
Its me and them next year...nonsense

Zahra29:


Greetings

Couldn't have been me though, my conference was in Bournemouth and I had on a yellow dress

Good day house. Please when can I start checking my credit score? I'm barely a month and 2 weeks in the UK.

Datakey:
Good day house. Please when can I start checking my credit score? I'm barely a month and 2 weeks in the UK.

Are you on the voters list, are you paying bills, have you applied for any kind of insurance services etc etc etc .......

You cannot get something from nothing....... Read up or watch videos on how to build your credit score ........😜😂


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_8e-SX055I?si=iNwWMcjLFgtoQAi8

Guys please assist.

How do I get cash paying jobs in Hatfield?