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How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Toaskido(m): 4:24pm On Jun 01, 2023
I remember when I was much younger, a nephew came to spend the holidays with us. He was acting very rude and spoilt to everyone , and always thought he could beat me lol. I had warned him more than enough times, I even reported to my big sister so she could warn him, but she was being too nice.

He continued misbehaving until I waited for everyone to leave home one afternoon and beat the h*ll out of him. from boxing to kick boxing to whatever manly way of fight you can think of. I left him badly injured especially on the lips and gave him a clear warning. I saw the shock on his face. He was 14 and me 15.

My big sister dealt with me when she came back , only because of the injuries though.
I didn’t care, I had passed my message. Till today, the dude and I are still close, we play and all but the respect is there(very reciprocal sha).

Do with this information, whatever you like.😅
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by mariahAngel(f): 4:24pm On Jun 01, 2023
cNOTE885:


Yeah. 15years+ But the scar won't go away. My head is marked forever due to the stiches I received from the nurses. Good old days.

I hope you don't get headaches occasionally.
Good old days, you say?

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Fairbanks(m): 4:30pm On Jun 01, 2023
mariahAngel:
For the sake of your mum, do not fight (beat up) your younger brother. Please o!
She might not be able to bear her sons fighting.

Have and keep having patience with him, I believe he'll change eventually.
Whenever he starts to act all aggressive and stubborn, talk to him in a calmer tone.
Tell him not to talk back at your mum also.

calming down for him won't work at all, he will just be feeling ego of superiority over his elder brother. Find one day ur mum is not around and beat him proper. He will start respecting u.
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by mariahAngel(f): 4:37pm On Jun 01, 2023
Fairbanks:


calming down for him won't work at all, he will just be feeling ego of superiority over his elder brother. Find one day ur mum is not around and beat him proper. He will start respecting u.

What if the younger turns out to be stronger?
Then the respect would be lost forever.

If they weren't brothers, they'd practically be age mates.
Op should go about it wisely to preserve his respect.
I believe the best way is reporting the matter to a big uncle they respect.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Nyceguy92: 4:42pm On Jun 01, 2023
Best way to handle a younger one who is so stubborn and disrespectful is to exert your seniority over him/her.

Start by withdrawing the privileges he enjoys. If that doesn't work, you may be forced to "teach" him a lesson to reset his brain. Period.

If you wait for your mom to issue a permit to deal decisively with the problem, you will be wasting your time.
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by EJEGBULEJE: 4:47pm On Jun 01, 2023
mariahAngel:


You must've been very stubborn. undecided

Not really, just at truant.....First time i learnt about that word is when it was written on my report sheet.. "HE IS A TRUANT"
i usually skipped school, and go play video games, and snooker, sometimes i leave the city we reside, and go to other town to play.
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by bukatyne(f): 4:48pm On Jun 01, 2023
The problem here is your mom.

Why would she let a 17yr old boy talk to her anyhow?

And no igbati oloyi accompanied it?

Or she sits on him when his cup is full and twist that mouth he uses to talk to her shakashaka.
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by EJEGBULEJE: 4:51pm On Jun 01, 2023
Johnn74:

That sibling nor jam sb like me. Dem nor born that senior sibling when senior me with 2years gap well, when l get him agemates as friends & classmates. He better leaves me tied forever, coz sb like me if he looses me; will certainly plan retaliation and arrange guys to tie him up when he least expects and swoop on the fvcking sibling and lash him koboko back.

Beating no reach beating be that...........If i beat u ehn, if u see me u go change route.

see as i dey from my younger ones to cousins, and Nephews, i never touch anyone before o, but the kind respect they accord me ehn, dem no born u well to even raise ur voice at anyone while am around.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Famousmoni111: 4:53pm On Jun 01, 2023
taylor88:
19 and 17

Two of una need someone older to handle una two


Lol 😂
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Johnn74: 5:03pm On Jun 01, 2023
EJEGBULEJE:


Beating no reach beating be that...........If i beat u ehn, if u see me u go change route.

see as i dey from my younger ones to cousins, and Nephews, i never touch anyone before o, but the kind respect they accord me ehn, dem no born u well to even raise ur voice at anyone while am around.
BEATING MY FOOT!!!! Oga l reiterate DEM NOR BORN U WELL. U NOR JAM YOUNGER SIBLINGS LIKE ME WHEN GET MIND DATS WHY U DEY RAKE WITH BEATING.

NO SENIOR SIBLING 2YRS OLDER THAN ME ; FVCKING AGEMATE WITH 2YRS DIFFERENCE CAN DARE ORDER ME AROUND Unless you the senior NOR VALUE UR LIFE. I can retaliate at any time even target you when you are sleepuing or least expect coz l have unforgiving spirit and wont be satisfied until l get at you back or get you killed. IF E WORST ITS EITHER I GET MY REVENGE OR OUR TWO GO DIE AND RIP⚰️.
I nor kukuma value my life that year.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Gajagojo: 5:19pm On Jun 01, 2023
Johnn74:

BEATING MY FOOT!!!! Oga l reiterate DEM NOR BORN U WELL. U NOR JAM YOUNGER SIBLINGS LIKE ME WHEN GET MIND DATS WHY U DEY RAKE WITH BEATING.

NO SENIOR SIBLING 2YRS OLDER THAN ME ; FVCKING AGEMATE WITH 2YRS DIFFERENCE CAN DARE ORDER ME AROUND Unless you the senior NOR VALUE UR LIFE. I can retaliate at any time even target you when you are sleepuing or least expect coz l have unforgiving spirit and wont be satisfied until l get at you back or get you killed. IF E WORST ITS EITHER I GET MY REVENGE OR OUR TWO GO DIE AND RIP⚰️.
You are 100%"correct.
When. A person reaches a certain age you have to learn dialogue.
Violence will only bring violence and some people do not forgive.
Personally I do not care if you are Anthony Joshua,I can burn you inside a house with petrol.
So better not to start.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Stellacruz: 5:39pm On Jun 01, 2023
Y'all are still teens. I did it. My younger bro also did same to me. It's a phase, it will soon pass. Meanwhile for the time being, use emotional blackmail 😂😂 that shot works!... I know cos I'm still not okay till today!... My older siblings are really good at it😔
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by chukkystar(m): 5:56pm On Jun 01, 2023
Beat am. Make em dey fear You small. Em no go talk em mind to You again. Its also for his own good so he knows how to talk to other people. 17 never pass to beat
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Styluss: 6:09pm On Jun 01, 2023
I had thesame confrontation with my brother, in my own case, i was the bully. with time, you will fall along, youd stop fighting as age sets in. I think you need to show him who the boss is one time, Beat him very well, dont kill him, but make sure you show him you are his elder brother, next time, he will respect you.

Temioolajide:
Pls how do i deal with my junior brother?

I'm 19 yrs old and he is 17


Thanks much

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by DrDunamis(m): 6:22pm On Jun 01, 2023
Temioolajide:
Pls how do i deal with my junior brother?

I'm 19 yrs old and he is 17
He is very spoilt and stubborn
I just finished having a confrontation with him because i locked the window in our room cus the breeze entrying was much and it was making the cotton to fall.

He came in the room where i was reading and started shouting that the room is smelling calling me insultive name like olorun,obun room that isn'tsmelling at all.a new room.

When my mom intervened he starts saying she's always supporting me which he always says..

He thinks he can fight me but i don't just want to destroy that his mouth that is running like tap so i had to control my temper because he is a slim person and I'm more muscular.

Imagine when he had a surgery my mom spent over 120k on the surgery yet he still has the balls to talk any how to her.

Pls how do we bring him to order
Note: Our dad is late

Thanks much
By being who God has designed you to be naturally. Lead by example, somethings you don't need to prove your being right. You just ignore and let it go.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by dreamxhaser: 6:33pm On Jun 01, 2023
Temioolajide:
Pls how do i deal with my junior brother?

I'm 19 yrs old and he is 17
He is very spoilt and stubborn
I just finished having a confrontation with him because i locked the window in our room cus the breeze entrying was much and it was making the cotton to fall.

He came in the room where i was reading and started shouting that the room is smelling calling me insultive name like olorun,obun room that isn'tsmelling at all.a new room.

When my mom intervened he starts saying she's always supporting me which he always says..

He thinks he can fight me but i don't just want to destroy that his mouth that is running like tap so i had to control my temper because he is a slim person and I'm more muscular.

Imagine when he had a surgery my mom spent over 120k on the surgery yet he still has the balls to talk any how to her.

Pls how do we bring him to order
Note: Our dad is late

Thanks much

OP

Na too much play dey cause this kind thing.

Ignore him like he never exist. I mean totally ignore him not even small gist should join you two.

Just dey act mature, avoid see finish and hustle. If u too dey misbehave, better stop it so he won't see it as a venue to do same.

In fact, stop dey stay for house too much so he won't see you regularly. Just dey engage in productive things with your time.

My Jnr bro is way more muscular than I am, but dem no born that boy well to misbehave anyhow. Why? Because I am better than him in anything at the moment, be it school, cash, sense, IQ and the list goes on.

Anytime he tries to act stupid I Ignore him and give him a stan fatherly look. (My father is late too).

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by drimzsmoke(m): 7:08pm On Jun 01, 2023
taylor88:
19 and 17

Two of una need someone older to handle una two

They don't need anybody, If their parents had instilled discipline in his younger brother at a much younger age, then there won't be need for all these at this stage, he should be able to get respect from his younger brother without the intervention of an older adult. Their parents failed in that aspect. It's evident that his younger brother calls him by his name without adding any "brother". Personally, I think it's too late to do anything at this point
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by lagonovo: 7:18pm On Jun 01, 2023
mariahAngel:


What if the younger turns out to be stronger?
Then the respect would be lost forever.

If they weren't brothers, they'd practically be age mates.
Op should go about it wisely to preserve his respect.
I believe the best way is reporting the matter to a big uncle they respect.

You are right. I still don't get this assumption that a 19 year old brother is automatically strong enough to beat up a 17 year old, it simply doesn't work like that. What is the plan B if that backfires?

Also, it's amazing to see how our leadership deficiencies are actually nurtured at home. Imagine educated youths opting for 'force' as a solution to a simple leadership issue and we wonder why we have had the likes of Babangida, Abacha and Obasanjo as past dictator presidents.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Nobody: 7:19pm On Jun 01, 2023
dreamxhaser:


OP

Na too much play dey cause this kind thing.

Ignore him like he never exist. I mean totally ignore him not even small gist should join you two.

Just dey act mature, avoid see finish and hustle. If u too dey misbehave, better stop it so he won't see it as a venue to do same.

In fact, stop dey stay for house too much so he won't see you regularly. Just dey engage in productive things with your time.

My Jnr bro is way more muscular than I am, but dem no born that boy well to misbehave anyhow. Why? Because I am better than him in anything at the moment, be it school, cash, sense, IQ and the list goes on.

Anytime he tries to act stupid I Ignore him and give him a stan fatherly look. (My father is late too).




Okay..thanks boss

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Risingblue008(m): 7:58pm On Jun 01, 2023
Temioolajide:
Pls how do i deal with my junior brother?

I'm 19 yrs old and he is 17
He is very spoilt and stubborn
I just finished having a confrontation with him because i locked the window in our room cus the breeze entrying was much and it was making the cotton to fall.

He came in the room where i was reading and started shouting that the room is smelling calling me insultive name like olorun,obun room that isn'tsmelling at all.a new room.

When my mom intervened he starts saying she's always supporting me which he always says..

He thinks he can fight me but i don't just want to destroy that his mouth that is running like tap so i had to control my temper because he is a slim person and I'm more muscular.

Imagine when he had a surgery my mom spent over 120k on the surgery yet he still has the balls to talk any how to her.

Pls how do we bring him to order
Note: Our dad is late

Thanks much

You never beat nonsense commot from him body,that's why
grin grin grin
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by bepositive11: 8:00pm On Jun 01, 2023
Where did he learn that? He must have seen someone else talking like that

Temioolajide:
Pls how do i deal with my junior brother?

I'm 19 yrs old and he is 17
He is very spoilt and stubborn
I just finished having a confrontation with him because i locked the window in our room cus the breeze entrying was much and it was making the cotton to fall.

He came in the room where i was reading and started shouting that the room is smelling calling me insultive name like olorun,obun room that isn'tsmelling at all.a new room.

When my mom intervened he starts saying she's always supporting me which he always says..

He thinks he can fight me but i don't just want to destroy that his mouth that is running like tap so i had to control my temper because he is a slim person and I'm more muscular.

Imagine when he had a surgery my mom spent over 120k on the surgery yet he still has the balls to talk any how to her.

Pls how do we bring him to order
Note: Our dad is late

Thanks much
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by frozen70(f): 8:26pm On Jun 01, 2023
Temioolajide:
Pls how do i deal with my junior brother?

I'm 19 yrs old and he is 17
He is very spoilt and stubborn
I just finished having a confrontation with him because i locked the window in our room cus the breeze entrying was much and it was making the cotton to fall.

He came in the room where i was reading and started shouting that the room is smelling calling me insultive name like olorun,obun room that isn'tsmelling at all.a new room.

When my mom intervened he starts saying she's always supporting me which he always says..

He thinks he can fight me but i don't just want to destroy that his mouth that is running like tap so i had to control my temper because he is a slim person and I'm more muscular.

Imagine when he had a surgery my mom spent over 120k on the surgery yet he still has the balls to talk any how to her.

Pls how do we bring him to order
Note: Our dad is late

Thanks much

For the fact he is your junior, he must respect you and respect the family values

I will not say give him time because he has grown wings and it need to be clipped

You know what, one bad day that he will insult you or your mum
Beat him and beat him very well with a hot slap

That will pass a war signal to him
So he will either adjust or get worst

Beat him very well and let him know that this is just the beginning and if he doesn't change his attitude you will beat him again

Just target him one day that he will insult your mother to your face

That beating will reset his brain

How can a teenager be this insultive, what happens when he becomes a full adult

If you don't take charge now you will loose your status and position as a senior brother
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by damoobaba: 8:28pm On Jun 01, 2023
Temioolajide:
Pls how do i deal with my junior brother?

I'm 19 yrs old and he is 17
He is very spoilt and stubborn
I just finished having a confrontation with him because i locked the window in our room cus the breeze entrying was much and it was making the cotton to fall.

He came in the room where i was reading and started shouting that the room is smelling calling me insultive name like olorun,obun room that isn'tsmelling at all.a new room.

When my mom intervened he starts saying she's always supporting me which he always says..

He thinks he can fight me but i don't just want to destroy that his mouth that is running like tap so i had to control my temper because he is a slim person and I'm more muscular.

Imagine when he had a surgery my mom spent over 120k on the surgery yet he still has the balls to talk any how to her.

Pls how do we bring him to order
Note: Our dad is late

Thanks much

Otilo, he will outgrow it but that's if he doesnt ruin his life b4 adulthood.
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by AfonjaPriest: 8:32pm On Jun 01, 2023
Temioolajide:
Pls how do i deal with my junior brother?

I'm 19 yrs old and he is 17
He is very spoilt and stubborn
I just finished having a confrontation with him because i locked the window in our room cus the breeze entrying was much and it was making the cotton to fall.

He came in the room where i was reading and started shouting that the room is smelling calling me insultive name like olorun,obun room that isn'tsmelling at all.a new room.

When my mom intervened he starts saying she's always supporting me which he always says..

He thinks he can fight me but i don't just want to destroy that his mouth that is running like tap so i had to control my temper because he is a slim person and I'm more muscular.

Imagine when he had a surgery my mom spent over 120k on the surgery yet he still has the balls to talk any how to her.

Pls how do we bring him to order
Note: Our dad is late

Thanks much

You should have been an influence in his life early enough. With that, he would be careful to talk to you disrespectfully. However, introduce something he would be interested in, such that you would lead and he would follow. And don't try to bully him, because I could feel his exasperation when he entered the smelly room. Trust me if I should say it was indeed smelly, coming from the outside. Think of ways of winning his respect and obedience. And while at it, don't rush it, as it is sometimes difficult to teach an old dog a new trick.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Nobody: 8:37pm On Jun 01, 2023
AfonjaPriest:


You should have been an influence in his life early enough. With that, he would be careful to talk to you disrespectfully. However, introduce something he would be interested in, such that you would lead and he would follow. And don't try to bully him, because I could feel his exasperation when he entered the smelly room. Trust me if I should say it was indeed smelly, coming from the outside. Think of ways of winning his respect and obedience. And while at it, don't rush it, as it is sometimes difficult to teach an old dog a new trick.

Thank u sir
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Nobody: 8:38pm On Jun 01, 2023
Temioolajide:
Pls how do i deal with my junior brother?

I'm 19 yrs old and he is 17
He is very spoilt and stubborn
I just finished having a confrontation with him because i locked the window in our room cus the breeze entrying was much and it was making the cotton to fall.

He came in the room where i was reading and started shouting that the room is smelling calling me insultive name like olorun,obun room that isn'tsmelling at all.a new room.

When my mom intervened he starts saying she's always supporting me which he always says..

He thinks he can fight me but i don't just want to destroy that his mouth that is running like tap so i had to control my temper because he is a slim person and I'm more muscular.

Imagine when he had a surgery my mom spent over 120k on the surgery yet he still has the balls to talk any how to her.

Pls how do we bring him to order
Note: Our dad is late


Im also thinking its the ufc game he plays on the ps4 that is causing all these boldness...could it be a cause??

Thanks much
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by MySolace: 8:56pm On Jun 01, 2023
Rayban25:


I'm guessing your mom is the type that dosent like you beating your younger one because he is a last born...if your mom allowed you to be beating him he wouldn't grow up spoilt...hes I'll advice you to beat him while he is still young hes only 17...he has enough time to still mature
Beat who exactly? ...A baby?
So, 17yrs is young while 19yrs is old?

The only way dey can live together in da House is mutual respect & understanding, indulgence, liberal.
Else, na unending acrimony!

Me myself, I can't remember using iron hand on my younger brother I gave over 6yrs....

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Eraddray(m): 9:10pm On Jun 01, 2023
Temioolajide:


Alright thanks
Ure saying aiit thanks... someone advice u to punch sense into Ur brother...what if u punch in and kill him in the process...what if he kills u too...what if one of u fall to Ur death from the upstairs of an uncompleted building... Use Ur sense..I have a junior brother who's as rude as urs...the more he grows up...the more he will have sense... violence is the only way to sort everything... No let one werey on nairaland let u make a decision that u will regret in Ur life

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Paretomaster1(m): 9:12pm On Jun 01, 2023
Johnn74:

BEATING MY FOOT!!!! Oga l reiterate DEM NOR BORN U WELL. U NOR JAM YOUNGER SIBLINGS LIKE ME WHEN GET MIND DATS WHY U DEY RAKE WITH BEATING.

NO SENIOR SIBLING 2YRS OLDER THAN ME ; FVCKING AGEMATE WITH 2YRS DIFFERENCE CAN DARE ORDER ME AROUND Unless you the senior NOR VALUE UR LIFE. I can retaliate at any time even target you when you are sleepuing or least expect coz l have unforgiving spirit and wont be satisfied until l get at you back or get you killed. IF E WORST ITS EITHER I GET MY REVENGE OR OUR TWO GO DIE AND RIP⚰️.
I nor kukuma value my life that year.

If you say u Mad, elder brorters wey kolo dey... Dey make mouth there, when hand touch u proper.... U go dey shout "u go kill me today"
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by Nobody: 9:23pm On Jun 01, 2023
Eraddray:
Ure saying aiit thanks... someone advice u to punch sense into Ur brother...what if u punch in and kill him in the process...what if he kills u too...what if one of u fall to Ur death from the upstairs of an uncompleted building... Use Ur sense..I have a junior brother who's as rude as urs...the more he grows up...the more he will have sense... violence is the only way to sort everything... No let one werey on nairaland let u make a decision that u will regret in Ur life

Lolz grin I'm not gone punch him
I have decided to be patient with him kiss
Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by dandig(m): 10:00pm On Jun 01, 2023
MASTAkiLLAh:
Everything you said there should be blamed on your parents so don't disturb yourself with frivolities. The best you can do is to advise him one last time man to man then look for a way to improve your life. Get into school or finish with school, learn skills that will put a steady income in your pockets and account then look for a way to leave that house. Carry your cross, your brother should carry his own cross while your parents carry their own. Whenever he comes visiting your place, you can impose and enforce your own laws
Abei!!! This your comment dey melt heart... IzonOwei u killed this one. Kudos

1 Like

Re: How Do I Handle A Stubborn Brother by rickleye: 10:01pm On Jun 01, 2023
Dude you need to fight it out . Let him no who is the boss. He’s has been sizing you up and things he can take you down.
I’ll tell you a story . My brother and I are 3 years apart so growing up we shared a room . I took the top bunk and he lower bunk. But for some reason during the afternoon he likes to snooze in my bed . Now I caught him one many times because 1. He doesn’t know how to tidy the bed to perfection and 2. Smell. I have a different smell than he .
In any case we have been going at it for a while and then I dared him to not sleep on my bed . The fight lasted 2 mins as I brought out my cutlass to slash at him. He said no instruments so I kept my cutlass and started punching. Before we did I punch the wall with my bare knuckles to let him know that I would destroy him . My mom was shouting … my Sister held my waist begging me not to kill him . When my punch connected , it cracked his ribs sending him sprawling to the ground . I held his shirt and asked him - ARE WE DONE HERE ? Are we done here, all he could do was cry and hold his side . It’s been 20 years and he’s never made the mistake again

1 Like

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